After much discussion, Fitz and Olivia decided there was no reason why they couldn't each get exactly what they wanted in this situation. In practical terms, this meant that somehow Olivia would need to keep Fitz from finding out the gender until after the baby's birth. Of course, this meant that Olivia couldn't start decorating the nursery (the former play-room) unless she deliberately decided to avoid color coding by choosing to decorate in yellow or rainbow colors. When Abby found out about their little agreement, she laughed her head off. Like Fitz, she also believed there was no way Olivia would be able to keep the secret for the entire duration of the pregnancy.
Olivia, on the other hand, wondered if Fitz would be able to follow through and actually leave the room before the ultrasound technician made the big reveal. She believed that in the end, when push came to shove, curiosity would win the day.
The day came rather quickly. After leaving the children with the grandparents, they rushed to their appointment. The technician called them to the examination room for a 4-D ultrasound. Olivia and Fitz held hands while she performed the routine part of the exam. The baby was active and on target for its due date. The baby kept its hand over half of his/her face as if it was trying to play peek-a-boo with them, hiding part of its identity.
Next, the technician pressed a few buttons on the machine and switched the mode to 4-D. Fitz and Olivia were at once overjoyed at how amazingly clear they could see their baby. It had a cute little nose, defined lips and long fingers.
"Oh, Fitz! It looks like she's sucking her thumb!" Olivia cried. So far, throughout her pregnancy, Olivia kept referring to the baby as a 'she' so Fitz was quite used to the gender reference.
The technician had readily agreed that indeed it appeared as though the baby was sucking his thumb.
Fitz's gaze shifted from the screen to Olivia brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. There were tears in his eyes. This baby was special, he/she was would be the first child with Olivia, the love of his life.
And then came the million dollar question.
"Would you like to know the sex of your baby?" The kind technician asked them, all smiles. It was clear that this was her favorite part of the exam. It always brought the parents to tears and she loved being there sharing in their happiness.
"Fitz…you don't have to go if you don't want to." Olivia said with a candid smile. "You can just change your mind and stay with me."
Fitz thought about it for a moment. He had to admit he was tempted to just throw in the towel. But then, what would be the fun in that?
He figured the next four and half months were going to be quite interesting indeed.
Both Olivia and the technician looked at him expectantly.
"Fitz? Olivia prompted him.
"I really don't want to know," he said stubbornly, even though part of him didn't really want to leave the exam room and miss out.
Olivia looked at him incredulously. She really thought he would come around any minute now but it looked like he was sticking to his guns, and she really wasn't looking forward to decorating the nursery in yellow or buying little outfits in neutral colors.
True to his word, Fitz exited the room and didn't come back until the technician opened the door to the waiting room and said that portion of the examination was over.
"I'm not upset, just disappointed," Olivia told him when they were driving home.
Fitz was the one driving. "If it makes you feel any better, it's okay. You can just tell me."
"Tell you?"
Fitz glanced at her for a fraction of a second as he got ready to pull into their two car-garage. "Our baby's sex. I know you're dying to tell me and I don't want to take that joy away from you," he told her in a sexy arrogant tone, truly expecting her to spill the beans any minute now. "It's okay, really," he said thinking their little game was fun while it lasted.
She threw her head back and laughed. He loved it when she laughed like that. "Something tells me you don't think I would be able to see it through till the end," she said. It was fun matching his somewhat cocky tone.
Fitz parked the vehicle and turned off the engine and turned to look at her, his demeanor indicating that he was trying his best to suppress a smirk.
Olivia put her hands on her baby bump. "You want to be surprised, I respect that, Fitz. It's okay, you can have it your way."
He cocked his head in amusement. "Seriously?"
"Is that a challenge, Mr. Grant?" She said half-serious, half-joking. "I thought you knew me better than that. I'm ALWAYS up for a challenge…actually, I THRIVE on challenges."
A slow smile curved his lips. He was secretly loving every minute of this; it added a certain spark to their relationship. "I know you do, Livvie." He turned toward her and rested his hand on her baby bump. He couldn't keep from touching her belly at every opportunity he got. "Words cannot express what I feel when I see you, how much I admire you for being you, for being the mother of my children."
Olivia looked at him misty-eyed.
"Hey," he reached over and caressed her cheek with his other hand. "Why the sad eyes?"
"It's just so beautiful what you said. I don't think nobody ever said anything so beautiful."
He let out a happy chuckle. "How about when we said our wedding vows?"
"Oh, yes," she sighed. "Those were beautiful too." She had to admit that this pregnancy had opened her eyes and she felt things more deeply. Not a day went by without her getting tearful for one thing or another and she could almost swear that it was more than just hormones.
LATER
When they came home and shared the ultra sound pictures with the grandparents and watched the video, they were absolutely elated. They both thought it was rather odd though that their son insisted that the gender be kept secret. Fitz chuckled when Olivia jumped up from her seat to stand in front of their smart-TV when the video was about to make the gender reveal with an arrow pointing to the baby's sex written in big letters across the screen.
"Everyone I know finds out the sex of the baby right away," Lucia said.
Roberto put an arm around his son. "I don't understand this…" His gaze shifted between Fitz and Olivia and settled on his son. "How can you stand not knowing?"
"It's the old-fashioned way, dad."
Roberto chuckled at his son's comment. In a way, he felt as if his son was giving them –he and Lucia a gift- the gift of wonder.
Lucia shook her head and whispered to her husband in quiet amusement, "I think they might have lost their minds. Everyone nowadays wants to know."
Roberto nodded. "Yes, but it's like looking at a Christmas present sitting under the Christmas tree months in advance, every day the anticipation builds until you're finally able to open it."
Fitz took his wife's hand and motioned for her to sit beside him on the couch. "Sooner or later you'll tell me," he taunted her and Olivia laughed good-naturedly. "There's no way you can keep a secret this BIG for five long months."
She laughed and pulled herself flush against him on the couch. "So that's what you're thinking, huh? Well, let's just say you're very wrong, Mr. Grant."
"We'll see," he smirked. "Only time will tell."
Five months later
Fitz stood by the hospital bed, holding her hand while they watched the contractions on the monitor, jagged mountainous lines. It occurred to him just then how funny it was that he still didn't know their baby's gender. He glanced over at his beautiful wife in awe of her. Somehow, she'd managed to do it and kept mum all this time and now as he helped her through a powerful contraction, he thought how determined she'd been about giving him the experience he wanted. He had wanted to experience their baby's birth the old fashioned way and that was exactly what he was getting. The contraction subsided. Still, they could hear other women nearby moaning and shouting out names. One woman was reciting the multiplication tables, punctuating it with her intakes of breath.
"I can't do this!" Olivia panicked looking at Fitz. She had no idea contractions could be THIS bad. "I changed my mind, let's go home!"
The women continued to shout. "I hate you, BOB! Get away from me!" One woman shouted hysterically.
"Livvie, it's going to be okay," Fitz said while she had another painful contraction. She squeezed his hand so tight he couldn't have moved even if he'd wanted to. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying right here with you, baby."
The doctor came in at that exact moment clad in green scrubs. He looked young, barely out of high school. "How's your pain level, Olivia?"
Olivia slept through most of her labor, lulled by the epidural that was given to her shortly afterwards. When she woke up, she smiled dreamily at Fitz and said, "it's not too bad." But then, a strong contraction would grab her and she would bolt upright and squirm and grip his hand so tight she left marks. "I can't do this, I can't do this."
For some reason, Fitz thought about Teddy's Little Blue Engine book and it's repetitive line: 'I think I can, I think I can.' At a loss as to what else to do, he mumbled, "Yes, you can, Liv. Yes, You can."
The anesthesiologist entered the room. "Booster?"
"YES!" Olivia shouted.
"Eight centimeters," a nurse announced as the anesthesiologist got ready.
The epidural made her sleepy once again.
It was past two in the morning. Fitz sat down in an uncomfortable stool and tried to send a text to his parents but the nurse frowned at him.
"NO phones allowed."
Fitz started hating everything in the room. He hated how austere and cold it was. He hated the noise coming from the monitor but most of all, he hated the clock on the wall, marking the minutes and dragging the hours.
Nine hours later, Olivia still hadn't dilated past eight centimeters, two less than she needed in order to push.
Olivia was so worn out that by the time the teen-aged doctor suggested a C-section, she simply nodded.
"Are you sure?" Fitz asked Olivia, his brow creased with worry even as a nurse helped his wife onto a gurney. He was exhausted, his legs were jelly. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He needed to remain calm and strong so Olivia wouldn't have anything to worry about.
The delivery room was big and bright with light. Four or five people in green scrubs were standing around in a semi-circle casually waiting.
Fitz reached for her hand as soon as she was moved onto the operating table. Even though he was nervous, he rubbed her shoulder soothingly and made himself smile.
Next thing he knew, a nurse came to tie Olivia's arms with strong leather strips.
"Wait! Don't tie my arms!" Olivia panicked.
"We can't have you helping during the operation." Someone said matter-of factly.
For the next half hour, the people in green scrubs discussed the weather and their favorite restaurants even as a tall green curtain separated them from Fitz and Olivia.
Fitz wanted for them to shut the hell up and made a loud sh-sh sound that went largely ignored.
Teen-aged doctor slid his hands into gloves and said to Fitz, "I'll tell you when to look." Two seconds later, he motioned to Fitz to peer over the curtain.
Fitz caught a glimpse of the baby curled inside of her, knees curled up and head bent down. The image made him draw a sharp intake of breath.
"Fitz, Fitz, what's happening?" Olivia asked.
Fitz stepped back and gazed at his wife in astonishment. And then, he started to cry. "It's amazing!"
For a fraction of a second Olivia feared something was wrong. "Something is wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong." One of the doctors quickly replied.
"It's a girl!" Someone in the operating room announced and right then, they heard the baby's cries.
"Everything is perfect. Your baby is perfect. Here she comes." Teen-aged doctor lifted the baby covered in vernix and blood for Olivia to see. She breathed a sigh of relief.
Fitz and Olivia looked at their beautiful baby and at one another and cried tears of intense happiness.
.
Six months later. Early May.
They celebrated Teddy's fourth birthday at home with a small number of guests as they wanted to make this a happy experience for Teddy. He was still prone to getting overly-stimulated in larger gatherings so they limited the number of guests. The grandparents were there of course, they were planning on visiting Italy again this summer and this gathering was their good-bye before the trip. They were feeling sentimental; part of them didn't want to be separated from the kids for the entire summer. Abby and David—having recently decided to postpone their wedding for early Spring- would not have missed Teddy's birthday for the world. In the last few months, they had both become quite fond of Teddy now that he was more communicative. The only kids outside the family at the party were their neighbor Patty's her three kids; Robbie, the youngest was only a year older than Teddy.
During the party, Robbie and Teddy played together rather than alongside each other as in times past.
Olivia found them in Teddy's room playing around the train table and she was glad to be able to capture the moment on video without the boys being overly aware of her presence. She couldn't be happier to see them playing cooperatively without squabbling or fighting over one toy.
"Percy is going to hide," Robbie said rolling his train down the track and inside a tunnel. "It's windy. The weather says a big storm is coming. We'll be safe in here."
"Thomas hides too," Teddy said rolling his Thomas train behind Robbie's Percy. "Beep- beep, bee-beep, there goes Thomas" Teddy called out.
"V-room-V-room," my engine is getting too hot," Robbie said in a dramatic fashion. "Got to run it through the car-wash," he picked up his train and put it in the car wash which had realistic sounds and flashing lights.
Olivia stopped the video shortly after that. She'd gotten about five minutes of footage with the two boys playing nicely. She was glad to have been able to capture the moment but she had to return to tend to their guests and it was almost time to cut the cake so she returned to the kitchen where she found Lucia and Abby chatting while fixing a few appetizers for the adults and children. She whispered a quiet thank you to the two women. She passed by Fitz, Roberto and David gathered around the TV in the living room chatting and watching ESPN, before checking on the girls who were playing in Karen's room.
It wasn't until after they cut the cake and the party was more or less over as the neighbor's kids had left Fitz brought Teddy's birthday gift from the garage to the backyard and sneaked back into the house. He couldn't wait to see the look on his son's face when he saw the battery operated car he'd gotten him as a gift. Because only two kids could comfortably ride the car, he felt it best to leave it for last.
"Are you ready for your big surprise?" Fitz asked, building up the momentum. Teddy nodded and looked at his father with a mix of confusion and anticipation.
"Maybe we should blind fold him," Abby suggested. "You want to Auntie Abby to blind fold you sweetheart?"
"Oh, my gosh, Teddy, look!" Karen exclaimed pointing. "It's a car, it's so cool, it looks like a spaceship!"
Teddy followed Karen's gaze and they both looked at the child sized car out the wrap-around windows of the sunroom. The ride-on car was battery operated. It was a two passenger car modeled after Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder, the sand-pocked and sun-faded X-34 craft from Star Wars: A New Hope. Fitz purchased it because it could easily accommodate two riders and drove at a speed of 5 miles per hour so there was little chance there could be an accident in the making.
Teddy's eyes widened and shouted with glee. "Space-sip!" when he saw the toy car sitting in the backyard along the sidewalk with a giant red bow tied around it. This last year, they had remodeled the backyard to make long stretches of side-walk for Teddy to drive his ride-on Coupe car. This new vehicle was battery-operated and Fitz could hardly wait for Teddy to realize how much different the Star Wars Landspeeder was from the Coupe.
"Oh, look at that….?" Fitz squinted his eyes as he looked outside pretending he was looking at it for the first time. "It sure looks like a spaceship, Teddy."
Olivia, standing beside Fitz, have him a playful nudge. "Fitz, c'mon. He's only four." Then she turned to Teddy and explained that the car was designed like to look like a spaceship but it was really a car. "No danger of you flying into outer space," she joked.
The children ran outside even before Olivia finished speaking.
Fitz followed them along with the rest of their guests and Fitz removed the large box and helped Teddy climb into the driver's seat.
"Daddy, this is great! Can I ride too?" Karen said, her eyes bright and eager. Fitz hesitated, uncertain. Now that his daughter was standing next to the car, it seemed like it might be a tight fit. Not only was she tall for her age but she was definitely in the upper age limit for the ride-on car.
"What do you think, Teddy? Fitz asked Teddy, "How about giving your sister a ride?"
Teddy didn't initially respond, he was too mesmerized with the buttons and interactive dashboard for about two seconds and then he was eager to press on the gas pedal.
"Wait, wait. Let me show you how this works," Fitz said showing Teddy how to switch gears from drive to reverse and didn't let Teddy drive off until he was sure the boy understood.
"Daddy," Karen pouted as she watched Teddy drive off. "I wanted to ride too."
"I know pumpkin. Let Teddy have some fun with it. There will be plenty of time for you to two to have fun together."
Karen gave her dad a dubious look AND crossed her arms AND pouted.
Fitz looked around, searching for his wife among the party guests. "Olivia?"
"She's feeding the baby. But I will get her for you," Lucia replied and promptly disappeared into the house.
A few minutes later, Olivia returned and walked up to her husband who then turned to put his arm around her. "What did I miss?" By then, Teddy had stopped the car and this time Karen ran up to him and begged to sit in the passenger seat.
Karen ran up to Teddy as he drove the car back in their direction. "Teddy, please! Can I ride too, please? She cried desperately. "Please?"
"Okay, sit down," Teddy said loud and clear looking at his sister directly in the eye.
Everyone cheered even as Karen climbed in and it seemed like a good fit.
"Oh, that was just cuteness overload!" Abby said.
"Oh, yes. It's so sweet of him to want to share the car with his sister," Lucia agreed.
As soon as Karen climbed in, Teddy pushed the gas pedal and the vehicle zoomed ahead, headlights glowing. The dogs, Blackie and Sparky ran around almost outpacing their front paws in their excitement.
"Whoa! Hold on tight!" Fitz chuckled. The two kids squealed as the car picked up speed. The look on their faces was precious, pure unaltered joy and Fitz found himself sharing their excitement. For a few moments or so, Olivia watched her husband being completely in the moment with the kids. Even though she'd seen this happen many times before, she still marveled at his natural ability to see the world through his children's eyes. It was this ability that had allowed him to enter Teddy's world with ease and to put aside all preconceived expectations.
Olivia pulled out her phone. "Teddy, Karen!" she called. Just then the Landspeeder turned in her direction and both children flashed their best smiles at Olivia and the camera.
Late May
Teddy was at school sitting quietly at his open-top desk and practiced his penmanship. He needed to copy the first three letters of the alphabet in the space provided but his letters were too large. Some of his classmates had similar assignments and fidgeted at their desks while others were occupied with drawing for busy work. The teacher assistants were nearby trying to keep the children engaged and on task. One boy in particular was being loud complaining that his pencil was broken and refusing to accept any of the replacement pencils offered. One of the teacher assistants handed him a new pencil and told him in a stern tone that he wouldn't get any computer time today if he didn't finish his work.
"Teddy," one of the teacher assistants came to his side. She tried to change the way Teddy was holding his pencil upright and enclosed in his fist rather than in a pinch grip. Teddy resisted and as soon as the assistant removed her hand he reverted back to clenching the pencil in his fist. The assistant shook her head in disapproval.
Right then, a loud beeping came through the classroom walls.
"Children, this is a fire drill. Stop what you're doing and sit still," a strong voice came through loud speakers.
The children looked around in confusion even as they were asked to line-up.
Next came a series of instructions: "We walk quietly. No talking. We take exit four and we keep walking. Sh-sh. Quiet." The special education teacher Mrs. McCarthy kept reminding the children over and over.
The hall was packed with kids from other classrooms, shuffling along, jostling one another and giggling.
"When the bell rings again we will return to our room."
After the children returned to class, Mrs. McCarthy went on to give the kids a little talk about emergencies and what to do in emergencies. Even though the course schedule called for instruction in academics, she never missed the opportunities to teach the children life skills. She was fresh out of school and with dreams of making a difference in the lives of children.
"We just did the fire drill which wasn't a real emergency; it was only practice so that we would know what to do in case of a real emergency." She began. While some might have argued that the children were too young to understand, she was convinced that her students understood more than people gave them credit for. "If you're at school and there's an emergency where there is danger you should do what we just did, go outside in a calm manner. Sometimes, a teacher might ask you to go someplace else or hide under your desk to be safe. Listen to you teachers, always, okay?" She then got out a set of flashcards with cartoon characters depicting emergency workers: paramedics, firefighters, police officers in various scenarios. There were also a few flashcards showing a person unconscious or in need of medical attention and one picture of a thief pointing a weapon. "All of these situations are emergencies. What should you do in case of an emergency and you're not at school?"
"Call 9-1-1." Teddy blurted out.
"That's right, kids." Mrs. McCarthy smiled at Teddy. They'd talked about people being seriously hurt or their being a fire or earthquake before so this was not completely new material for the kids. She then picked up her own cell phone and demonstrated punching the numbers 9-1-1 and pressed END instead of CALL at the end to avoid actually dialing the number. "When we call 9-1-1 and people are in real trouble, firefighters, doctors, police officers will come to help us."
"What if you fall and scrape your knee? What should you do?" She said to the class. She knew it was a tricky question but she was hoping none of the children would say that they would call 9-1-1.
A couple of students did say they would call 9-1-1. Teddy was strangely quiet—normally he was shouting answers. He was her top student and one of the youngest as well. Most of the children were moving onto kindergarten but Teddy would stay one more year in her class and after that, she thought he might be ready to transfer into a mainstream education class.
"So Teddy, what would you do if you fell and scraped your knee?"
Teddy thought about it for a moment. "A Thomas band-aid."
Mrs. McCarthy smiled approvingly. "Yes, if you have a scrape or a small cut in your body you should tell your mom or dad and they will help you with a band-aid." She looked at her students, commanding their attention. "We should only call 9-1-1 if you're really hurt or someone else is really, really hurt. Then it's an emergency."
Early June
"Children," Mrs. McCarthy projected her voice speaking to the entire class. "Today we have a special assembly; we will get to see reptiles and insects up close in a nature's critters presentation." She then directed the class to line up. She was planning on being absent from the assembly to take care of some administrative task and leave her three assistants in charge of the class.
Since it was summer, the presentation was going to take place outside rather than in the school auditorium. When Mrs. McCarthy's class arrived at the designated spot, there was a small podium surrounded by an assortment of animal cages.
The children were directed to sit on the grass in an orderly fashion (in rows). Two other classes had arrived prior to Teddy's class, so the children sat in the third row from the podium. All the children sat except for Teddy who refused to sit.
"What is it, Teddy? What's wrong?" Leslie the teacher assistant asked noting that Teddy was looking intently at the area in the grass where he was told to sit."
" BEES!" Teddy shrieked.
"No, actually there will be some insects, bugs, but they are in the animal cages," Leslie pointed to the cages, bending down to Teddy's level. She then put an arm around his shoulder and tried to get him to sit down.
"NO! " Teddy cried in a distressed tone. He'd seen a couple of pincher bugs crawling around in the grass and did not want to sit down with the critters. "BUGS!"
"Teddy," Leslie's voice escalated. "The other kids behind you won't be able to see the show. You need to sit down! Now!" seeing that Teddy's cries escalated with her voice, she added in a threatening tone, "or I will give you a red mark on your feedback card."
"Teddy!" the other teacher aide reprimanded. "On your bottom, now!"
This continued for quiet a while, the two classroom aides barking commands. Behind them, some students complained that they couldn't see and the show was about to start.
"Teddy," Leslie tried to soften her tone. She was desperate. By now the other teachers were giving her dirty looks. "The bugs are in the cages, they're not gonna hurt you, I promise."
Teddy tried to crouching down to the ground as low as he could but still the two classroom aides were unhappy and insisted he sit down.
At the end of the presentation, the children were invited by grade to interact with iguanas, insects and birds but Leslie decided to take Teddy's class back to the classroom instead as punishment.
LATER
It was ten minutes until dismissal time and Mrs. McCarthy was at her desk filling out the 'Feedback cards' which were pre-written forms cut the size of and over-sized flashcard. Every day, the children received a feedback card which informed the parents of their child's behavior at school. A red card meant the child had a bad day; a yellow meant child had an okay day, and a green card meant that the child had a great day.
Mrs. McCarthy turned to Leslie and asked about the children's behavior at the assembly. She'd been distracted with some administrative tasks and had left the three classroom aides in charge of her class.
"They were good except for Michael and Teddy."
Mrs. McCarthy, cocked her head. "Did you say Teddy? What did he do?" Normally Teddy was awarded green cards every day. A red card would be completely out of character for him.
"Teddy was disruptive; he refused to sit down during the assembly. He was scared of bugs. I told him the critters were in their cages. I pointed, make sure he saw them and he still refused."
The teacher scratched her chin. Well, she supposed there was a first time for everything and gave Teddy a red feedback card. In the lines below she wrote: Teddy refused to follow instructions and sit down during assembly time.
LATER
When Olivia came home from work later that day, she noticed that Teddy was acting differently with her. Normally, he made eye contact and she was able to engage with him but today it was clear he was avoiding her gaze.
"How was school today?" Olivia asked Teddy but he remained silent. "Did you have fun? Did you get to sing the I love America song? " she asked him over dinner. It was so close to the end of the school year and the class was preparing to sing with the rest of the school on the final day. Parents had already been invited to attend the school presentation.
Teddy's face crumbled. Fitz and Olivia exchanged a look of alarm regarding their normally happy little boy. "Red card. Got red card," he sniffed looking as if he was about to cry.
Karen's ears perked up. She even forgot the mound of pasta neatly rolled onto her fork, which she was holding in mid-air. Her sibling radar turned on whenever she sensed her brother could be in trouble with mom and dad.
"You got a red card?" Fitz and Olivia asked in unison. They couldn't have been more surprised.
At this, Teddy put down his fork burst into tears. Karen put the fork in her mouth and watched the interactions intently.
Olivia went to Teddy and patted hi back soothingly. Then, after dinner, she took his hand and asked him to show her the note. She should have looked at his backpack as soon as she got home. But there was dinner and the baby and sometimes, she didn't have a change to go through Teddy's backpack until after dinner.
As she and Teddy headed for the bedroom to retrieve the backpack, they passed by the nursery and Olivia peeked in the half-closed door. Yes, their baby angel was still blissfully asleep.
Teddy handed over his Thomas and Friends backpack and Olivia quickly unzipped it and retrieved the feedback card. She shook her head in disbelief, how could they give him a red card for what appeared to be such a small infraction?
"Teddy's bad boy." Teddy said.
"No, Teddy, you ARE NOT a bad boy." she gave him a big hug and then pulled away to stare deeply into his eyes. Teddy made steady eye contact, his gaze was bright and clear. "Do you understand? You're good, Teddy. You're very good and I love you so much."
Fitz poked his head through the door. "Everything okay?"
Olivia handed him the card. Fitz gave Teddy a concerned look. "Teddy, why didn't you want to sit down during the critter show?"
"Bugs. Everywhere bugs."
Olivia and Fitz exchanged a knowing look. A couple of weeks ago, they'd taken the kids to their local YMCA to swim at the pool to kick off the start of summer. Teddy had gotten a bad bee sting when he'd inadvertently stepped on a bee with his bare feet. It had been such a traumatic experience for Teddy. The poor little guy had been pretty much inconsolable. The itching and swelling had remained for hours even after they'd managed to hold him still long enough to remove the stinger.
Olivia cocked her head. "There were bugs in the auditorium?" She knew she'd just asked a leading question and in a court of law, opposing counsel would be stating a series of objections.
By now, Teddy was down on his knees, playing on the floor with a spinner top toy he'd pulled out of jean's pocket. "No." He said while fixated on the spin top. "Outside. The bugs outside." He smiled when he made the spin top spin by dropping it from up high. "Bugs in the grass."
Olivia nodded, piecing the story together in her head. So the assembly had taken place outside in the grass where they were bugs crawling in the grass. She wasn't surprised that Teddy had extended his fear of bees to include all bugs. He'd even stopped playing with the roly-poly's in the backyard, which had been one of his favorite activities. She would need to talk to Mrs. McCarthy and explain Teddy's fears.
She was so proud of him for coming out of his shell. In the past few months, his vocabulary had increased by leaps and bounds; he was now routinely stringing four/five word sentences. What's more, he now laughed, shared and had even made friends. Now, according to developmental charts, he still had a speech delay but he was no longer stuck in the world of autism (and for that she was immensely grateful),and she was very much looking forward to their future conversations and discussions.
It was still difficult for him to express his thoughts though; there was so much he wanted to say, it seemed but couldn't quite find the words. His little body would tense up, his fist clenched against his thigh and still the words refused to come out or he couldn't get them organized in his head fast enough. But he was catching up to his peers in his own timing. No need to rush it.
She shifted so that now she was on her knees, and searched his gaze. She had to wait a few seconds since he was still absorbed with the spin top toy. "Sweetheart," She paused holding his gaze. He was exceptionally bright. Oh, yes. He had lost that glazed-over look of the early days and now appeared clear-eyed. "What happened at school wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong." He lowered his gaze and she lovingly stroked his hair. He met her gaze once again as soon as she spoke again. "You were scared of sitting on the grass, they… your teachers didn't understand that you were scared of bugs. But I'm going to talk to them and explain and they will understand, I promise you. "
"Teddy, you're NOT a bad. You're good, you're a very good boy," Fitz said with a thin smile.
Teddy smiled, his gaze shifting between both his parents.
"You're an angel," Olivia whispered. "You know that?" Yes, he was an angel and she felt privileged to have been called to be his mother. Yes, there was still a long road ahead but in another twenty years, today's difficulties would be like a drop in a bucket.
Teddy let out a happy chuckle as if she'd said something incredibly funny. "Teddy has no wings."
Fitz and Olivia shared a smile and saw his face brighten even more. "Not all angels have wings." She said. "Some angels are children like you that are very good and live here on earth."
Olivia closed her eyes for a moment and allowed herself to daydream of Teddy as a teenager. And there he was clear as day, getting his driver's license, bringing home his first girlfriend, and going to the prom in a tux. On a good day, and in complete surrender of all her worries, her mind went to town and saw him as an adult; graduating from college, getting married (just the thought brought her to tears), and standing on a podium and sharing his journey in overcoming the challenges of autism. She pictured him sharing an anecdote or two to warm up the audience. Perhaps he will recall the day he told his dad he wanted Cheetos when offered a slice of a birthday cake. Perhaps he will tell how his big sister became his best friend the day he told his sister, "okay, sit down," when she asked for a ride in his brand-new battery operated car. She could picture him at the podium so clearly it was as if it was all happening right now.
July. Friday, 12:30 pm.
Today Olivia was one of those Fridays where Olivia was allowed to work from home. Ever since she went on maternity leave, she'd been telecommuting one Friday per month performing administrative tasks and writing reports from her home computer. It sounded easier said than done. In practical terms, this meant was that she'd be working all weekend long on the reports whenever the children were napping or when she wasn't otherwise occupied. On good days like today, however, she'd completed more than half the work early in the morning—she'd been up since six O'clock. By early afternoon, she was bushed and ready for a nap, even though the kids were still going strong like the energizer bunny.
Olivia sank down on the couch for a few moments to relax while Teddy played on the coffee table with his trains and the baby played on the floor with some toys and rattles. Sparky was napping curled up in the sunroom and Blackie was away with Amanda for training for the entire weekend.
Perched on the couch, and with her head comfortably on a pillow, Olivia smiled as she looked down at her beautiful baby girl. With her Olive skin, brown eyes and dark brown hair, Isabella drew attention wherever she went. "Look at those long curling lashes," people would often say admiringly. As her baby girl began to grow and hit every major milestone like clockwork, Olivia had her camera ready and clicking away as she went from sitting up and then to crawling seemingly overnight. These days, Olivia was always trying to get her to say mama. She would model the word at every opportunity she got. More than once, Teddy would turn to look at her curiously. He had long stopped calling her 'mama' and 'mommy' had become the norm as this was the term used by his teachers at school whenever they referred to her.
Olivia heard the front door open and her wonderful husband strolled in looking as good as ever.
Isabella, dressed in a cute floral sundress, pulled the plastic toy ring she'd been chewing out of her mouth and cried: "Dada." It was a picture perfect moment, Olivia thought belatedly.
"Why, you little traitor," Olivia mock reprimanded her and then turned to greet her husband with a warm smile.
After pecking his wife on the lips, Fitz rushed up to the little girl he called his princess. He'd never called Karen that and fearing that his eldest would become jealous, he was careful to mutter the term of endearment for her tiny ears only. His baby princess was the apple of his eye, a true to life mini version of his beloved wife.
Isabella rewarded Fitz with a wide smile as he swept her into his arms. Her full name was Isabella Lucia Grant. Her middle name, Lucia was in honor of her paternal grandmother, and Bella meant beautiful in both Spanish and Italian.
Fitz turned to ruffle Teddy's hair. "How are you, buddy?" He glanced at the train track Teddy had built on top of their coffee table with tunnels and overpasses. There were both magnetic and battery operated trains on the track and sometimes the magnetic ones got bumped off the road.
Teddy looked up at his dad expectantly. "Play trains, daddy."
Fitz gave his son a thin smile. "Sorry, I wish I could but I gotta go back to work. But I will play with you later when I come back from work, I promise." He hated having to disappoint Teddy. Ever present in the back of his mind were the days where he and Olivia would have jumped through any hoops just to engage his joint (shared) attention, never dreaming that one day THEY would be the ones asking Teddy to WAIT for their attention.
Normally, Fitz was still willing to jump through any hoops -whenever possible- when it came to Teddy but today was one of those crazy busy days. He'd only come home for lunch and he needed to be back to UCLA in time to teach his next class. Right after that, he was picking up Karen at her elementary school. She was enrolled in a summer camp geared toward keeping the kids active during the summer. Half the class practiced Karate and the other half ballet and then together played a variety indoor and outdoor group games. At first, Karen threw a fit when she'd found out that she'd been enrolled in Karate instead of ballet, but both Fitz and Olivia felt learning self-defense was far more important. And then, lo and behold, Karen had found herself enjoying Karate and practicing the moves at home.
Olivia moved to the kitchen to get lunch ready while Fitz showered Isabella's face with kisses. Teddy came up behind Olivia and said," Teddy wants to help."
"Of course, sweetheart," Olivia said asking him to set silverware on the table for the three of them and bring the apple juice jar to the table.
By the time Teddy was done setting the table, Fitz had strapped Bella in her high chair. He then came around to help with the sandwich preparation.
"I can't believe Bella said her first word," Olivia said with maternal pride. She made a mental note to write it on her baby book. Sometimes she was so busy she didn't even get around to writing it down until she'd actually forgotten the date of the event.
Fitz grinned in response and was about to comment when the sound of the 30 inch TV mounted in a corner of the kitchen counter interrupted his train of thought. Teddy had just turned on the TV to high volume and Fitz immediately asked him to turn down the volume. Teddy complied by pressing down on the buttons on the control panel under the TV screen and then sat back down at the table to finish his lunch.
"And it's bumper to bumper traffic on CA- 110 this afternoon, expect some delays. Well, folks, it's Friday and there's a brush fire that started from a car crash along freeway 110. Firefighters are gaining the upper hand but still, we advise you to take alternative routes.
Fitz watched the screen for a few minutes and decided to hurry. He didn't want to be late for work.
"Honey, you barely ate," Olivia said disappointed.
"Sorry, baby." Fitz stood and kissed the top of the baby's head and ruffled Teddy's hair. He then came around to Olivia. She stood and he pulled her into an embrace. "I'll make it up to you, tonight," he winked at her and his adoration for her lit up his face.
"I love you," she murmured, smiling.
"I love you too," he said before he rushed out the door.
A little after Fitz left, Olivia put down Bella for her afternoon nap and lo and behold, Teddy had also fallen asleep. These days, it was almost a miracle to get him to take a nap. Perhaps she could get some chores done while the children slept. But after strengthening up the kitchen, she decided to lie down for a little while.
She woke up an hour and a half later and the children were still napping.
She turned on the television as soon as she stepped into family room. The same channel came back on the screen; this time the words FIRE STORMS stood out in big bold letters.
"Fire season has arrived once again in Southern California with vengeance after years of extended drought. Strong Santa Ana have repeatedly fueled fire storms such as the Cedar fire of 2003 which ravaged San Diego County and was responsible for the destruction of over 2,000 homes and buildings and killed 15 people and it remains the second most destructive fire on record in the State of California. During the fire storm, Governor Schwarzenegger declared a state of emergency and employed the national guard to assist in the disaster relief process. President George Bush declared the counties of Los Angeles, San Diego, San Bernardino and Ventura major disaster areas. At least ten people were trapped in their vehicles trying to outrun the flames."
Olivia stared at the screen and her mind went elsewhere. She was thinking of Fitz but she needed to find out more information. They were doing a documentary on wildfires for a reason. She hoped this didn't mean the brush fire on highway 110 had gotten out of control.
"The Manzanita Fire was sparked by a car crash on highway 79 in the San Jacinto Mountains. High temperatures, low humidity, and wind gusts fueled the fire and pushed it eastward toward Banning.
As to the brush fire that started on highway 110, fire fighters still report zero containment and at this point, residents are advised to stay in their homes until further notice…"
At once, Olivia picked up her cell phone and promptly dialed Fitz. It was after 3:30 so she imagined that by now Fitz would have already picked up Karen from summer camp. Darn it! It rang but then it disconnected. She dialed a second and third time. She heard his voice saying hello and then the line went dead every single time.
3:45 pm.
Fitz looked at the clock on the dashboard of his Toyota Tacoma. He'd been stuck in traffic for the last 20 minutes.
It was fifteen minutes past the time when he was supposed to be at school picking up Karen. He didn't think she'd ever been picked up this late. But traffic was sheer madness today; it had slowed down to a crawl. He tried to reassure himself that he couldn't possibly be the only parent in Karen's class picking up their kid late. He turned on the radio.
The announcer said:
Firefighters are still battling a fast moving brush fire that erupted near the entrance of Silverwood Lake and has spread along freeway 110. Evacuations have been ordered as well as the freeway 110 closure. Residents are advised to abstain from traveling to the area unless it is absolutely necessary. The fire quickly has scorched between fifteen to twenty acres. It's holding steady at 20 acres and it is zero percent contained. There are some structures threatened at the moment.
Fitz drew a deep sigh of relief when at last the call went through. Olivia had been trying to call him for the last fifteen minutes or so. But it was either a bad connection or the lines were busy or both.
"I've been stuck in traffic."
"The school is calling on the other line…"
"Can you tell them I'm almost there, been stuck for the last twenty minutes bumper to bumper.
Olivia put Fitz on hold and then told the secretary at the school exactly what Fitz said and then hung-up and came back to answer Fitz. "They say not to worry, they know about the brush fire." She took a deep breath and held the phone tightly to her ear. "Honey, be careful, okay? Drive safely. Have you been listening to the news?"
"110 is closed but that just means I'm taking the long way home, okay? I don't think it's anything major. I should be home in time for dinner. I love you, Liv."
Olivia let out a deep sigh, she couldn't help but be worried. "I love you too, Fitz. I love you very much." Once again, she said: "drive safely" just as Fitz was getting ready to hang-up.
Ten minutes later, Fitz was pulling into the parking lot to the elementary school. He dashed inside to get Karen and was relieved to find that he wasn't the only parent arriving this late. Some of the parents had heard that there were other brush fires rapidly spreading to different areas of Los Angeles. One of them specifically mentioned the 2003 Cedar Fire and at once, an alarm clicked in Fitz's head. The San Diego Fire had caused so much damage precisely because it had caught people off guard; many had underestimated how fast brush fire could spread especially with the aide of the Santa Ana winds. Fitz shook his head as he helped Karen onto the backseat of the Tacoma. The thing was that right now the weather conditions were ripe with the scorching summer temperatures for the Santa Ana winds to create havoc.
Fitz was extra cautious as he drove through the detour, not wanting to get caught in a traffic nightmare. Traffic in Los Angeles was bad enough as it was without adding the extra strain of the fires. He was about to honk his horn when he realized what was happening, his alternate detour route had been closed off as well. People were parking in the middle of the street and getting out of their cars and throwing their hands up in exasperation.
"What's happening, daddy?" Karen asked, looking up from her Nintendo handheld device.
"Too much traffic right now, Pumpkin." Fitz made eye contact with her through the rear-view mirror. "I think I will just get us something through the drive-thru. I'll have to call mommy to tell her we won't be home in time for dinner." He steered through to the closest drive-thru. Not surprisingly, the line of cars was quite long there too.
While he waited, he picked up his phone and dialed his wife's number but couldn't get through. Something was really wrong with the stupid phone.
Back home, Olivia was glued to the TV screen, following the news and was aware of all the freeway and road closures. She went back to check that the kids were still asleep and then returned to the kitchen. After a moment, she decided to open the front door and look out in the horizon. As far as she could tell, there weren't any fires or smoke visible in her immediate vicinity. One of her neighbors from across the street waved at her and she waved back. Everything seemed to be all right except for the dogs in the neighborhood barking. Sparky decided to go out the front yard to join the choir and Olivia let him roam around since their front yard was fenced.
She came back inside and left the door wide open so she could keep on eye on any changes in her neighborhood. Her sense of relief was short lived. In that brief span of time, another KTLA reporter started talking about the Cedar Fire and questioned whether a disaster of that magnitude could happen in Los Angeles.
And then the TV station took a thirty second break and she realized she'd let out the air she'd been holding. A hollow feeling had settled in her stomach as her gaze bounced back to the TV screen and the reporter came back from commercial break with breaking news.
"We interrupt this special coverage to bring you the latest on the armed suspect is at large in the vicinity of Santa Monica. The man is wanted in the assault and battery of a Los Angeles woman admitted to the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center this Friday morning. The victim is reported in critical condition. The neighbors called 911 after hearing gun shots and the suspect fled minutes before police officers arrived on the scene. The couple was engaged to be married and several neighbors reported that the suspect is a respectable member of the community. According to one woman who preferred not to be identified, domestic violence calls had been placed earlier this year and had been resolved in a satisfactory manner, with no arrests being made. The police force has expanded its search and are doing every thing they can…if you think you have seen this man… "
Olivia blinked twice and stared at the face on the TV screen in utter disbelief. Edison?
She immediately dialed Fitz's number. Pick up the phone, please, she prayed.