MADDIE

March 19, 1907 Opening night of Don Juan Triumphant.

I am only an hour away from the overture to begin. It's been a long month, but I am glad it is finally here and will soon be over. I've slowly sunk into a depression these past weeks. If not for Raoul, I would probably have wasted away. He keeps me sane, makes me eat. I am forever grateful for his kindness and acceptance toward me. I know this whole business with Charles is eating at him. It's aged him a bit. He always manages to smile for me, but I know he's torn to bits inside. He does love Charles so. That makes two of us...I never even got to tell him I loved him.

"Oh Maddie, there you are!" Deirdre said, coming into the chapel where I sat in the window.
"Yes, here I am..." I said softly as she sat across from me. "How are you holding up?" I asked her and she shrugged.
"I could be better...but I came to see how you are..." She said, holding my hand. I looked up at her unable to hide the tears rimming my eyes.
"It just hurts, you know? She was like a Mother to me...she saved my life and now she's gone. How silly of me to think she would always be there..." I said, speaking about Madame Giry. Deirdre nodded, biting her own trembling lip.
"Maddie, I know...she was my Grandmother, but she was the greatest woman I ever knew. And she loved you...she loved all of us..." She stopped to look at me a moment.

"How does the costume feel?" She asked and I shrugged.
"It's fine...really Didi, I don't feel any different than I ever did. It still hasn't even really sunk in." She nodded.
"I can't imagine...being pregnant that is...Daniel would faint!" She laughed and I raised an eyebrow at her.
"You haven't...I mean, you're still a..." She laughed.
"Yes of course...oh, I won't lie and say we sit properly side by side and barely hold hands because I will admit things have become heated a time or two...but he always stops like the gentleman he is." I nodded.
"Good..." I said and she leaned over to hug me.
"You're going to blow everyone away tonight Maddie..." She said and smiled before she left.

I looked down at my hands before sighing and getting up as Raoul walked in.
"There you are dear! Alana and Garrett were looking for you to wish you luck!" He stopped when he noticed I had the costume on.
"Let me guess, I look like her..." I laughed and he shrugged.
"It's startling...but you look enough like yourself to be different. Still, at first glance it is jarring. Sorry..." I laughed again.
"It's alright...I suppose it's only natural." I said and he nodded, putting an arm around my shoulders and guiding me out to see my aunt and uncle.

"Madeleine!" Alana said, holding her arms out. I smiled and moved to give her a quick affectionate hug. She was a bit shorter than I so I had to lean a little. She stood back and looked at me. "How have you been feeling?" She asked and I knew she was referring to being with child.
"Really...I don't feel any different..." I said and she laughed.
"You're lucky then...I was deathly ill with all four of my children for the first four months." I smiled.
"That's reassuring." I muttered and moved to hug Garrett too.
"Take care tonight kid, and break a leg!" I grinned, feeling great to smile.
"I'll try." I said as we all waved goodbye and they went to find their seats. Raoul kissed my cheek.
"Take care..." He said, seriously and I nodded.
"I promise...Dad." I tested him and he laughed out loud. I smiled in relief.

I sighed as the curtain went up and we began the opera. I watched from the wings until it was my turn to go on for the scene when Don Juan first lays eyes on Aminta near her home. Alexis was playing the part with grace, although he was a bit soft for the part, but he was remarkable for being just an understudy. My hair was all hidden within a large white bonnet that went with my peasant outfit and as my turn to sing came and Don Juan hid to watch me, I pulled it off, letting the curls spill out. I heard, as I'd expected a bit of a reaction from people in the audience who remembered Christine. As he revealed himself I jumped back, pretending to be alarmed as he offered me a rose, which I took and made to walk away but he held me in place and Don Juan stared into Aminta's face. He introduced himself as Passarino, a servant to Don Juan, and Aminta became more comfortable with him as he walked her through town. She agreed to meet him for dinner at his master's home.

I left the stage as he revealed his plan to seduce Aminta to the audience and made to change my costume as he prepared for Aminta's arrival. Don Juan informed his servant of his plans and put on a black mask, so I would not realize. Of course Aminta was much more naive than I, and if it was me in her situation, I wouldn't have fallen for it. Not for one second. Still, I walked onto the stage in my costume, a red rose tucked into my curls, thanks to Madame Bennett's help. She and Deirdre watched from the wings.

"No thoughts within her head but thoughts of joy...no dreams within her heart but dreams of love..."

"Master?" Passarino's voice came.
"Passarino, go away for the trap is set and waits for it's prey..." I looked up. That wasn't Alexis's voice.

I looked to the side confused and saw him standing there with his arms folded in his underwear. I would have laughed if I wasn't so frightened.
"What in the hell?" I said aloud, clapping my hand over my mouth as I did. That voice, if I didn't know better, I would say it was...I turned to see what was going on and sure enough, there stood Charles in full Don Juan costume.

"You have come here in pursuit of your deepest urge...in pursuit of that wish, which till now has been silent...silent...I have brought you that our passions may fuse and merge. In your mind you've already succumbed to me, dropped all defenses completely succumbed to me...now you are here with me, no second thoughts, you've decided...decided..."

God damn him...I stood, breaking character.
"You have a lot of damned nerve..." I hissed at him and he pleaded with his eyes.
"Just go along with it Madeleine..." He said, and I am sure my eyes were throwing daggers.
"You're a selfish jerk!" I whispered and began to walk away from him but he grabbed my arm.
"Maddie..." He said, I knew he was trying to beg for my forgiveness but the hurt I felt was hindering my ability to see reason.
"Charles...I am so far from forgiving you, it isn't even funny."

"Past the point of no return, no backward glances...the games we've played till now are at an end...past all thought of if or when, no use resisting...abandon thought and let the dream descend...what raging fire shall flood the soul, what rich desire unlocks its door, what sweet seduction lies before us?"

He had me in his hold, one arm around my waist, one around my shoulders, just as we'd practiced. I tried to remain cold, but it was so hard when all I wanted to do was to turn and sob into his chest. He caressed my cheek softly and I knew he wasn't acting, but I clung to the pain he'd put me through these past weeks. Through that black mask, I could see his green eyes begging me.

"Past the point of no return...the final threshold...what warm unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return..."

I looked up at Raoul, who was sitting in Box Five with Alana, Garrett, Daniel, Camille and Gabe. He had his hand to his cheek in shock, but he gave me a supportive nod. I bit my lip, debating whether I should continue with this madness. I cleared my throat softly, pulling away from Charles.

"You have brought me, to that moment where words run dry, to that moment when speech disappears into silence...silence...I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why...in my mind I've already imagined our bodies entwining defenseless and silent...and now I am here with you...no second thoughts, I've decided...decided..."

I saw Charles sigh in relief but I still glared at him as I sang.

"Past the point of no return, no going back now...our passion play has now at last begun...past all thought of right or wrong, one final question...how long should we two wait before we're one? When will the blood begin to race, the sleeping bud burst into bloom, when will the flames at last consume us..."
We began to climb the stairs on either side of the stage and much to my dismay, I found I was unable to look away from him. I was finding it harder to stay mad at him as we both began to sing as we met again.

"Past the point of no return...the final threshold, the bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn...we've passed the point of no return..."

I let him stand with his arms around me, embracing me from behind me. We sort of swayed back and forth. My eyes opened when he whispered my name.
"Maddie..." I turned slightly to look up at him, I knew I was close to tears. He pleaded. "I'm so sorry...just hear me out, please..." I sighed shaking.
"Fine." I said, focusing on the buttons of his coat. He lifted my chin to look up at him.
"I love you Maddie...Madeleine...I always have." He said and as if those were magic words I fell against him.

"Y-you do?" I asked, needing to hear it again.
"Yes, I do...a thousand times yes." I knew he was smiling as he cradled my head gently against his chest. I looked back up at him, crying my eyes out.
"I love you too..." He leaned down and I pushed that damned black mask off his face before I kissed him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.
"I have to tell you something..." I said against his lips and he laughed, but stopped when he noticed how serious I was.
"Oh God...what is it Maddie?" He asked and I held the sleeves of his coat tightly as I looked back at Raoul and the audience who were whispering to each other wildly. I looked up into his green eyes, the mask still on his head just pushed back. I breathed deeply.
"I um...I'm pregnant."