Disclaimer: I don't own Noblesse.
Author's note: I'm back from a fun weekend and ready to post another chapter. I hope you enjoy it!
Chapter 37: Paralysis
Paralysis, the inability to move certain parts of the body, can have many reasons. One are damage to the muscles or bones themselves like fractures. There are also hereditary diseases e.g. muscle dystrophia by which muscle structure and function is damaged. Defects of the central nervous system can also cause paralysis. Most common are lesions to the spinal chord; if complete, the result is para- or tetraplegia. Illnesses of the brain like Parkinson's disease alter signal circuits responsible for movement. A lack of circulation by an acute embolism is another reason for paralysis. At last there are psychiatric maladies that may cause the patient to be unable to move. Paralysis always comes with a significant reduction of quality of life and should therefore be treated intensively in order to improve the patient's well-being.
"YOU!"
M-21 slowly turned around. He had known that this moment would come. He had been preparing himself, hardening himself against it. Yet the look of sheer hate in those brown eyes struck deep.
"I want to kill you so very much that I hate you all the more for it", said Hyun Ae, her voice trembling with barely contained emotions. "I believed in you, M-21. I overlooked every fault, every cruelty you committed. I was blind. I am no more. You are a monster, a killer who can never be anything else. You have no idea what you took from me. I never want to see you again."
She turned around and walked away in direction of the main building.
M-21 stood frozen and watched her go. He would have liked her to rage at him a little more. He would have gladly taken any insults had they but delayed that unavoidable time of parting for a fleeting moment.
Her hate was worse than Pandora's. To Pandora he had meant nothing but dirt. But Doctor Choi, he now realized, had hoped for him. She had hoped him a better person and he had disappointed her in the most terrible way.
"I'm sorry", he mumbled and lightly touched his scar. "For deceiving you."
"Takeo, M-21!", called Tao, jogging towards them at the end of their shift. While he approached, the other two could see the look of distress on his face.
"Bad news", he said as soon as he reached them. "Doctor Choi is quitting the job here. The Principal just told me."
Takeo stared at him in surprise while M-21 just threw him a bland look.
"You don't look shocked at all", observed Tao. "Did you already know?"
"She talked to me", said M-21 expressionless, already starting to walk towards the gate. The others hurried to follow him.
"What did she say?", asked Takeo.
"Nothing that I did not know already", replied M-21 in the same monotonous voice. "She never wants to see me again."
"Never...", mouthed Takeo.
"Why the heck?", said Tao. "You did tell her you did not intend to kill Turgo, did you?"
"There was nothing else in my mind except the intention to kill him", answered M-21. "It is all true."
"You know, I really hate this defeatist attitude of yours, M-21", said Tao angrily.
"Not that again", mumbled Takeo and rolled his eyes.
"You know what?", said Tao and stopped walking. "I'll go talk to her myself right now. Since I can't trust you to say anything to your defense yourself, I'll do it in your place."
"You will only make matters worse", began Takeo, but the black-haired man cut him off at once.
"Is that so? Can matters get any worse than now?", he asked sarcastically. When no answer came, he turned around and walked away in direction of Doctor Choi's apartment.
M-21 did not seem to have noticed his absence. He stared blankly ahead, walking in a steady rhythm like a wind-up doll.
Takeo threw him a look, sighed silently and made to follow him.
Tao had been marching fast in his fury, but the nearer he came his aim, the slower his steps became. When the right building was in sight, he stopped altogether. It was a blindingly bright day and as he stared up into the sky to look at the clouds, he had to shield his eyes with one hand. The weather was most unfitting for misery, he felt. His eyes were drawn to the door.
Was Takeo really wrong?, he asked himself. Can I make it even worse? Am I doing this the proper way? Should I just let them be? He firmly shook his head. They'll never come around by themselves. They need a proper push in the right direction.
Steeling himself for objection, he stepped up to the door and rang. It was a few minutes until he heard steps from inside and Hyun Ae opened.
Her face immediately slipped from mild surprise to cold aversion.
"Whatever you've got to say, I don't want to hear it", she said in a clipped voice and made to close the door.
But Tao was faster and had already pushed it farther open and was forcing her inside. His dark eyes fixed on her with stubborn determination.
"Whether you want to hear it or not", he said. "You will listen to what I have to say. I won't leave before I have said it."
Faced with no alternative as she did not want to fight him for real, Hyun Ae obliged and closed the door behind him.
Tao slipped off his shoes and nervously raked one hand through his hair while he followed her into the small kitchen. They sat down in silence until Hyun Ae remembered her manners and stood up hastily to make tea.
Tao, thankful for the short delay, tried to arrange his thoughts in the shape of good arguments. He gave it up after a while and decided to say what came into his head. He was a man of action rather than of contemplation, at least where nothing technical was concerned.
He took a sip of the fresh tea, burnt his tongue immediately, but succeeded in swallowing it anyway.
The charming smile he had meant to give the woman carried a trace of pain now.
"Is Edward Turgo's death truly the reason you broke with M-21?", asked Tao. "I never perceived you as the kind of egocentric person who would be indifferent to people dying unless they knew them personally."
"Already beginning with an insult?", snapped Hyun Ae.
To his surprise and grief, she sounded very much like Pandora and less like Doctor Choi.
"This is not about the person who was killed", she said. "Though I do not fancy myself above deeper feelings where my friends are concerned. This is about the way he was killed. I have been to the mortuary yesterday. Perhaps he has always killed in such a way. Seeing it, I realized I cannot forgive. You will never change my mind."
"Have you never been carried away and done something you regretted afterward?", inquired Tao. A caring undertone tinted his voice as he said, "He woke at night screaming. We found him washing his mouth with soap, saying he could not get rid of the blood. He suffers, Doctor Choi. Don't think he would not give anything to make it undone."
Tao imagined that he had seen a hint of compassion but for the fraction of a second. It might have been wishful thinking.
"I pity him", stated Hyun Ae. "But that does not mean I can bear his presence. Regret might make amends to god, but it does not bring back the dead. I would spoil Eddie's memory if I associated myself with his murderer. My opinion of M-21 has changed. It cannot be undone. I turn my back to this nightmare. I need to forget. And I need normal people around me for that. So please spare me your useless words."
"Fine", spat Tao, a bit miffed and stood up. "But I think you are mistaken in thinking you can just leave everything behind. Even if you had not been Pandora, you will never be able to forget about the Organization and what they were doing. What they still continue to do till this moment. Well, give us a call if you've come to your senses!"
As an afterthought, he added, "Thanks for the tea", as he already rushed to the door.
Hyun Ae took a deep breath after he had left. She let herself sink back into her chair and took a large gulp of cooling tea. She nearly choked on it because a sob wrenched its way up her throat.
She cried, her tears mixing with the remaining liquid in the cup she clutched between shaking hands.
And now she cried not from shock or anger but out of regret and desperation about all that had been destroyed. Eddie, whom she had thought lost and just regained. Her beloved job at the school that had lent her life stability and calm happiness. The Principal's house and its inhabitants, each a dear friend. And last she cried for M-21, who had thrown her heart in such turmoil until only splinters remained. She was furious that a part of her still longed for him despite all that had passed.
It was long until she had recovered enough to stand up and clean away the cold tea. Longer still until she trusted her voice enough to phone Bae and beg him for a job at his laboratory. He promised he would start organizing it immediately.
Her mood only lightened when the doorbell rang and a tall, red-haired man awaited her with a bouquet of flowers.
Note: Was Tao even convincing? Could he have said anything that would have made a difference? Next chapter will bring a piece of good news for M-21, I promise^^.
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