Mordred appeared a little taken aback when Merlin entered the Council Chambers alone, but readily excepted his explanation that the King was resting and would not be joining them.
"Actually", he said conspirationally when Merlin had finished speaking, "Perhaps it is a good thing. We may talk more freely about our own powers and perhaps you can tell me what went on whilst you were at the encampment from your own perspective."
"Perhaps you're right", agreed Merlin, "but not here in the Castle. There are still those that oppose the return of magic so it would be better if we were not overheard. Let's take a walk."
Mordred agreed and they headed out of the Citadel and into the Darkling Woods. For a while at least, Merlin managed to put his concern for Arthur to the back of his mind as he related to Mordred all he had learned from the Druids of Essitir - mostly through his late evening telepathic conversations with them - and how he thought Mordred should go about convincing a delegation to come to Camelot. Mordred was very enthusiastic about the upcoming visit and as a Druid himself, had insights that Merlin did not about how their clans were structured. Despite his innate mistrust of the boy, Merlin was glad that Arthur had given Mordred the mission and he had no doubt that the young Knight's charm would remove any hesitation the Druids might have about coming into Camelot. Even with his headful of worry, Merlin actually felt quite hopeful and heartened as they circled back and walked into the Citadel just as darkness was falling.
Once he had bid Mordred farewell, Merlin felt somewhat at a loose end. He could not remember the last time that he had not served The King his evening meal and gotten him ready for bed. He stood at the foot of the staircase leading up to Arthur's rooms for long moments clenching and unclenching his hands in indecision before turning on his heel and making his way back to his own room in Gaius's chambers.
His feet dragged a little as he got closer. He had not spoken to his mentor since his telling off and was unsure if Gaius would still be angry with him. At least he had done as the old man bid, and told Arthur that he could never see The Sorceress again, perhaps that might appease him. In his present state of mind, Merlin wasn't sure he had the emotional strength to cope with an angry, disappointed Gaius. He steeled himself and pushed the door open.
Gaius was sitting at the dining table tucking into a bowl of stew. He looked surprised to see Merlin at this time of day and paused with the spoon half way to his mouth for a moment before continuing to eat. Merlin smiled nervously and came into the room.
"Are you not supposed to be attending to the King?", asked Gaius once he had swallowed his mouthful. His tone was cold and told Merlin that the old man was still angry with him.
"He gave me the evening off", said Merlin flatly, slumping into the seat opposite Gaius, "To rest."
Gaius's eyebrow shot up in surprise. "He gave you an evening off? Is he quite well?"
Merlin huffed out a bitter laugh but gave no other answer. Gaius studied him for a few moments before asking, "So would you like some of this stew? I take it you have not yet eaten any supper."
Merlin rested his chin on his hands and replied with a sigh, "No, thank you Gaius, I'm not really hungry."
Gaius looked at him for long moments again. "Has something happened?" he asked.
"I did as you bid...I told him that he cannot see The Dolma again." replied Merlin in one long sigh.
"Well I'm glad you finally saw sense and did the right thing! It certainly took you long enough!", exclaimed Gaius. "And? How did he take the news?"
"He took it better that I expected", said Merlin, sitting up and scratching unconsciously at the wooden tabletop with a fingernail.
"So why do you look like so thoroughly miserable?", asked Gaius, "Surely that should be a relief!"
"He...took it a bit too well", explained Merlin, "He was upset at first and wouldn't accept what I was telling him - you know how he can get."
Gaius nodded.
"But when I insisted and told him why he couldn't see her again...then he just... went quiet and said he'll be fine." concluded Merlin in melancholic tones.
"What exactly DID you tell him, boy?", asked Gaius in a slightly more sympathetic voice than he's used so far.
Merlin recounted what he had told Arthur about The Dolma actually being a water spirit, how her true form would prove too much for The King and how she could not be tied to earthly things. Once he had finished speaking, Gaius looked at him and shook his head in disbelief.
"Wh-what?", asked Merlin a little disconcerted.
"If ever you were to lose your magic powers - or indeed your job as a manservant", said the physician wryly, "You should consider making a living as a travelling bard. You can certainly tell a good story!"
"I wish I could see the humour in this situation", said Merlin a little annoyed at Gaius's levity. "I had no choice but to weave this fanciful tale...he simply would not accept it when I told him he could not see her anymore. He was ready to ride out to the Cauldron there and then!"
"Well what did you expect Merlin?", snapped Gaius, all humour gone from his voice, "I told you long ago that you were playing a dangerous game! I warned you not carry on with this deception. I explained why it was such a mistake to do so and yet you disregarded my words and deceived me again and again. Now you are reaping what you have sowed."
"Thanks for being so understanding", said Merlin bitterly leaning back.
"You want my sympathy?", said Gaius incredulously, "I'm afraid that I have none to give. You bought this on yourself my boy and it is you that must deal with the fallout."
Merlin jumped to his feet so suddenly that the chair he had been sitting on flew across the room and crashed into the work table, knocking over several glass bowls.
"Yes, well", he said coldly, tears of rage prickling at the edge of his eyes, "Just remember who it was that suggested that I disguise myself as a Sorceress in the first place." Having spoken he strode toward the door.
" I suggested you to wear that disguise to get Arthur his wife back Merlin, not to seduce him yourself.", replied Gaius, his voice rising to a shout.
Merlin glared speechless with disbelief at what the old man had just said. He slammed the door hard as he left the room.
Merlin retraced his steps and once again stood at the bottom of the long staircase leading up to Arthur's chambers. He was so angry with the old man that he was shaking and muttering to himself. He paced up and down until a passing guard stopped and asked him what was wrong. He assured the man that all was well and turned on his heel, heading back down into the Darkling Woods.
He stormed through undergrowth and saplings, scattering birds and small woodland creatures as he went. He made sure that he was a very long way from the Citadel and well off of any of the patrol routes before he finally stopped in a clearing. Breathing heavily he channeled all his frustration and anger and held his hands out in front of him with palms upward. With a thought he summoned into being a huge flame that danced on his opened palms and then shot up as high as the treetops. He flung up his arms and for a few moments the fire raged an impossibly bright blue before disappearing. He repeated the action again and again, each time sending the flame higher and higher into the sky.
Eventually he had vented all of his anger this way and collapsed exhausted in a heap on the ground. He clasped his knees and buried his head in his arms and cried his heart out for all that was done and all that could not be.
Slowly his tears subsided and he lay on his back looking up at the sky that had now gone full dark. With an occasional sob he slowly drifted into a deep sleep.
A blood curdling screech woke him with a start several hours later and for a second his heart stopped. The noise was just like the scream of a terrified woman. He sat up and had a few moments of complete dislocation and panic. The screech came again and he realized that it was just the bark of a nearby fox. Slowly, he remembered how he had ended up in the middle of a forest. Once he had recovered his wits he blinked up at the stars to ascertain how long he had been asleep. It was about an two hours past midnight, he decided, and he should head back to the Castle before the wolves and bears began prowling. It was a moonless night and the forest was thick and dark. He picked up a few bumps and scratches on the way back but was otherwise unharmed as he walked across the drawbridge and nodded a greeting to two rather bemused night watchmen.
He stood in the Courtyard and sighed deeply. Perhaps, he thought, things might seem a little less disastrous after a good night's sleep. It was late enough now that Gaius would be fast asleep so he could creep back into his own room without having to face the old man. As he turned about and started to walk in the right direction, a light high up caught his eye. He looked up to see that Arthur's chambers were still fully illuminated.
He frowned and turned on his heel. Whatever the clotpole had said about being capable of putting himself to bed, he was obviously mistaken. No doubt he had fallen asleep without putting out his candles or banking the fire. Merlin resolved to tiptoe in to snuff the candles at least. That he could do without waking the King up and it would save him a lecture from the Steward about the foolishness of wasting expensive candlewax.
As he got to the top of the stairs and turned the corner he walked straight into Jane, one of the kitchen maids. He just about managed to catch her before she fell over backwards but she did drop the large wine pitcher that she was carrying.
"Sorry, sorry", he said as he stood her back on her feet and picked up the pitcher which amazingly was still intact, "My fault. I didn't expect anyone else to be up here at this time of night."
Jane took the pitcher from him and smiled, "Good job it was empty", she joked.
"Actually", said Merlin, "What ARE you doing up here at this time of the night?"
"The King requested more wine" replied the girl, "and nobody knew where you were so they sent me."
Merlin looked into the empty pitcher. "He's drunk a whole pitcher of wine?", he asked incredulously.
Jane looked down at the empty pitcher. "This was the third one", she said nonchalantly, "I've just taken him another."
"Wh-what!", exclaimed Merlin, "Four pitchers of wine? On his own? That's insane! Why didn't you refuse to bring him anymore?"
Jane gave him a look that said very clearly that she thought he was unfortunate in the head.
"He's the King, Merlin", she replied coldly, "I do whatever he requests of me. Without question. Now...I wish you a good night." With that she hurried off down the stairs.
Merlin blinked down at her and wondered if he should hurry after to apologize for upsetting her . But his concern for what he would find in Arthur's chambers got the better of him and with a shrug he hurried along the corridor.
As ever, he entered the room without knocking. He reeled back a few steps as the overpowering stench of stale wine hit his nostrils. He recovered himself and went over to open one of the windows to let some fresh air in. He turned back around to see Arthur sprawled half sitting and half lying in one of the chairs next to the fireplace which was burning dangerously high. The King was still in daytime clothes, although they sat askew on his frame and his eyes were almost closed . The goblet of wine that he held in his right hand was close to slipping from his fingers. His legs were at odd angles and one foot was so close to the fireplace that the wool of a sock had begun smoking from the heat and looked like it would burst into flame at any moment. The fireplace itself was packed full of wood and burning so fiercely that Merlin feared that the chimney would combust. It looked as though Arthur had put the entire week's supply of wood onto the fire at once, and half of it spilled out and onto the hearth.
Merlin muttered a quiet spell under his breath to calm the flames before hurrying over to his Master. He took the wine from Arthur's hand and placed it on the table nearby. He shook The King hard. Arthur's head lolled from side to side and his eyes remained closed.
"Arthur", said Merlin shaking him again, "Arthur, wake up."
The King squinted open an eye and regarded Merlin for a few moments. He closed it slowly and his head fell backward and rested on the chair. Merlin shook him again but there was no response at all.
"SIRE WAKE UP!", he bellowed into Arthur's ear. Still there was no response.
Merlin sat back on his heels scratching at the back of his head for a few moments feeling exasperated. He stood and leaned forward, embracing Arthur beneath his armpits and attempting to lift him back into an upright sitting position at least. It was useless. The King was a dead weight and when Merlin let him go he simply slid boneless down the chair until he was virtually lying in the hearth. Merlin let out a great sigh and sat in front of him for a few moments wondering what to do. A few more vigourous shakes did absolutely nothing other than cause the King's head to loll from side to side. In desperation Merlin slapped the King so hard across the cheek that he left a red hand-shaped mark.
Arthur opened his eyes, raised a hand to his cheek and frowned unfocusedly at Merlin. Merlin braced himself for a return blow. Arthur mumbled incoherently and his head lolled back. This time his eyes didn't close but rolled back into his head in a rather alarming fashion.
Merlin stood up in a bit of a panic casting his eyes around the room for something that might bring the King out of his alcoholic stupour. He spotted the wash jug which was full of clean water. He walked over to pick it up, and on the way back to Arthur muttered a quick spell which cooled the water to the point where small shards of ice floated about in it. Without further ado he dumped it on Arthur's head.
It did the trick. Arthur's eyes shot open and he breathed in deeply and then stumbled to his feet coughing and gasping for breath. When he spotted Merlin standing in front of him holding the empty jug he growled in anger and took a swing at him. Merlin danced backward to avoid the flailing fist and somehow managed to put the jug down safely before jumping back in to catch Arthur as he lost his balance and fell over sideways. Had he not caught him, Arthur would have hit his temple on the edge of a table.
Despite having lost his footing, Arthur tried to land another blow on his manservant and managed to hit him clumsily in the mouth before Merlin grappled his arms to his side and embraced him from behind.
"Arthur, it's me", gritted out Merlin as he tasted blood from his split lip. He fought to keep the stronger man under control. "You're ridiculously drunk. We have to get you sorted out."
"M'fine", insisted Arthur, struggling and pushing backward until Merlin was shunted into a large cabinet. The impact knocked the breath out of him and he let out a loud "Oof" but did not relax his grip on the struggling King.
"You are not fine", said Merlin, tightening his grip further, "You were almost laying in the fireplace when I found you!"
With a surprising burst of strength, Arthur pushed out of Merlin's grip, jumped to his feet and stumbled forward.
"M' the King of Cam'lot", he said waving an arm in the air, "Don't never get ricic...ridiklously drunk." Having made his point, his legs gave way and he collapsed in a heap onto the floor.
Merlin rolled his eyes and went over to him. He knelt down and looked at Arthur who was sprawled ungracefully across a very expensive rug. At least, observed his manservant, his eyes were open.
Merlin sighed and pulled the King into a sitting position. "Let's get you into bed", he said, "C'mon...do you think you can stand up?"
Arthur became suddenly pliant and let Merlin haul him onto the bed. Once there he rolled onto his side and began to fall asleep.
"Oh - no you don't", said Merlin, hauling him into a sitting position again and cramming pillows behind and around him to stop him laying down. "There's no way you can go to sleep with this much wine in you. C'mon. Sit up!"
Arthur scowled at Merlin blearily but did not try to lay down again.
"Good", said Merlin, "Very good...now don't move, I shall be right back." With that he hurried over to the dining table where he found a bowl of salt. He tipped most of it into a goblet of water and stirred it vigourously. "Here. Drink this in one go." he said returning to the bedside and holding the goblet to Arthur's mouth, "It will help."
It was a testament to their many years together (or to his level of inebriation) that Arthur trusted him enough to do as bidden. Two seconds after gulping down the entire contents of the goblet he began to gag and looked with bleary betrayed eyes up at his manservant.
"YOU POISONED ME!", exclaimed Arthur. He sat upright and bellowed "GUARDS! TREASON!" before lurching forward and vomiting a dark red stream into the bedpan that Merlin had miraculously managed to bring out in time.
"I'm bleeding to death!" squawked Arthur, inspecting the contents of the bedpan, "GUARDS! MURDER MOST FOUL!"
With that he let forth another stream of vomit. Merlin steadfastly held onto the bedpan but could feel his own bile rising and was thankful that he had not eaten any supper. He swiftly pulled his neckerchief up over his nose in an attempt to block out the acrid stench and then rubbed a hand soothingly up and down Arthur's spine. Once the King had finished heaving Merlin hurriedly took the chamber pot and placed it in the hallway outside. Arthur laid back against his pillows looking wan and pale. Merlin dipped a cloth in the drinking water jug and then sat on the edge of the bed. He folded the cloth into a square and laid it on Arthur's feverish forehead. The cool cloth on his head made Arthur open his eyes.
"Feeling better?", asked Merlin quietly.
"No", said Arthur balefully, "I feel like I just threw up all my internal organs and my soul as well. What the hell did you give me?"
"Just salt", he explained smiling despite himself at Arthur's florid description, "You drunk a dangerous amount of wine and I had to get it out of you before it did some serious damage to your insides."
Arthur looked at him skeptically and said nothing.
"Why the hell did you drink so much anyway?" asked Merlin.
Arthur didn't reply but looked away.
"Arthur, seriously. You might have died if I hadn't come back when I did. It's not like you to get so far into your cups. What happened?", pushed Merlin.
"I am the King and I can do as I wish and as my manservant you have no right to question my motives", replied Arthur. He tried to sound imperious but it came out sounding sullen and childish even to his own ears.
"Oh - so as the Monarch you are perfectly within your rights to drink wine until your liver explodes, is that right?", said Merlin sarcastically as he soaked the cloth again and reapplied it, "Very noble, I'm sure."
Arthur closed his eyes and relished the feel of the cooling water for a few moments. With out opening them he replied, "Oh do shut up Merlin, you are sounding more and more like Gaius with each passing day."
Still incredibly angry with Gaius, Merlin was stung by this remark and got up from the bed. He paced around the room putting it back in order and worrying over the fireplace.
Feeling the weight go from the bed, Arthur squinted open his eyes and watched as Merlin fussed around the room, a frown creasing his forehead. He sat up when Merlin picked up the fresh pitcher of wine and started to head for the door.
"Where do you think you are going with that?", he asked coldly.
Merlin blinked at him. "I'm taking it back to the kitchen. I think you've had more than enough for tonight, don't you?"
"Put it back on the table, Merlin", he said dangerously, starting to sit up and move toward the edge of the bed.
"Not a chance", said Merlin laughingly.
Arthur got to his feet and began stalking toward him, swerving and swaying a little.
Quick as a flash, Merlin danced over to the door and swung it open. Glaring defiantly at the King, he tipped the whole pitcher of wine into the chamber pot. Arthur squawked in disbelief and picked up a goblet from the table and aimed it at Merlin's head with all his strength. Luckily his aim was off and it whistled past Merlin's ear and crashed into the stone wall opposite before clattering noisily onto the floor.
"Think you're clever do you?", said Arthur advancing on him. "Well you're not. I'm the King and if I want to drink wine I shall bloody well drink wine. Now get out of my way."
Having said that he shoved Merlin hard and sent him sprawling on the flagstones. The King stumbled in socked feet along the cold corridor bellowing "GUARDS! GET THE STEWARD TO SEND UP MORE WINE! GUARDS!"
Merlin stood up and brushed himself down and with a huff of irritation strode after Arthur. He caught up with him just as he had made it to the top of the staircase. He caught the King by an elbow and swung him around.
"Oh, no no no no no", he said, marching Arthur back toward his chambers, "If you try going down that staircase in socks you'll break your thick skull. Come on, back to your room." With that he wrestled Arthur back inside his chamber, locked the door and pocketed the key.
"Open the door", growled Arthur.
Merlin shook his head. "Not until you are sober enough to see sense", he said.
Arthur advanced on him again, growling, "I'm your King and I command you to open the damned door, Merlin."
Merlin nimbly sidestepped him, strode over to the window that he had opened earlier and promptly tossed the key out into the courtyard. Arthur gaped at him in disbelief before stumbling over to the window and looking down into the courtyard where the key was just visible on the cobbles far below. He growled again and advanced dangerously toward Merlin. Merlin backed away.
"Arthur, please - see sense!", he pleaded, "You are the King. You cannot go walking around the Castle in this condition. And if you drink any more wine tonight it could kill you. Truly!"
By time he'd finished speaking Arthur had backed him into a corner and held him by the throat in a punishing grip. Merlin took hold of his forearm with both his hands and tried to pull it free but the King was much stronger than him.
"Throttle the air out of me if you must", he wheezed, eyes watering through lack of breath "but I'm only trying to keep you alive."
Arthur gripped him by the throat for a while longer and glared at him. Merlin returned his stare as best he could until grey spots started appearing at the edge of his vision through lack of air and his eyes rolled back into his head. All of a sudden Arthur let go and Merlin slumped to the floor, gasping in burning breaths and coughing.
Arthur walked over to his armchair by the fire and slumped into it, all fight suddenly gone out of him.
"Don't waste your energy trying to save me", he said flatly, "There's nothing I've got to live for anyway."
"Wh-what?", croaked Merlin, holding onto his bruised throat, "What are you even talking about?"
"I've had enough of all this", moaned Arthur waving his arm at nothing in particular. "It's just...who would even care if I drunk myself into oblivion anyway?"
"That's the wine talking, Arthur" coughed Merlin, still rubbing at his throat and trying to breathe through the burning sensation.
"This whole Kingdom", elaborated Arthur, waving his arms around, "This...being King. I'm sick of it."
"Arthur, you're talking nonsense.", insisted Merlin. "Now, drink some water and I'll prepare something to make you feel better before we get you ready to sleep."
Arthur was quiet for a few moments and then suddenly sat up and pointed at Merlin. (At least he intended to point at Merlin but his pointing finger swayed disobediently about in the air - vaguely pointing in the right direction) "What are you even doing here?", he asked accusingly. " I told you to take the night off."
"I DID take the night off", replied Merlin, "It's actually already the morning."
Arthur looked out at the darkness through the window and back at Merlin in confusion. "The sky's still dark and I haven't been to bed...idiot." he said.
Merlin rolled his eyes and filled up a bowl with drinking water and walked over to the King he stopped a few paces short. "Now, are you going to drink this sensibly, or are you going to try and kill me again?"
Arthur rolled his eyes and held out a hand for the bowl of water, "Don't be such a girl, Merlin...I didn't grab you that hard." he said.
Merlin gave him the bowl saying, "Yes well...just drink this." Once he was satisfied that Arthur was doing as bid he went over to a cabinet and started mixing herbs together that would help Arthur relax and would hopefully stop him suffering the mother of all hangovers the following day.
Arthur eyed the vial suspiciously when Merlin handed it to him a few minutes later. The greeny-yellow liquid did not look or smell in the least appetizing.
"Is this going to make me vomit again, Merlin?", he asked whilst squinting through the little glass bottle.
"On the contrary, it should stop you throwing up again, Sire", replied Merlin. "Come on, down the hatch."
"If I'm sick again, I swear to you that you will be spending the rest of the year in the stocks...is that understood?", said Arthur in his most serious voice.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah", replied Merlin waving a hand dismissively, "Just drink it already!"
Giving his manservant one more (rather cross eyed) regal glare, Arthur downed the fluid. It tasted sharp and lemony and burned a little on the way down but thankfully did not make him feel nauseous. After pursing his lips against the bitterness for a long moment, he said "Guh."
"Better?", asked Merlin studying his face closely.
"Slightly better than cat's urine", grumbled the King.
Merlin huffed out a laugh. "That's more like it", he said, "Come on - I think it's safe to get you ready for bed now."
He turned on his heel and shuffled about the room, laying out Arthur's night wear on the bed, banking the fire and starting to snuff most of the candles. The sudden absence of light apart from the two candles by his bedside made Arthur feel more calm and relaxed than he had done since Merlin had given him the news about The Dolma several hours earlier.
He was pliant as Merlin helped him up and began to help him out of his clothes and into his night things. As Merlin fussed over him, his thoughts wandered back to The Dolma and how he could never see her again. He remembered how Gwen had betrayed him at the Cauldron of Arianroed. He remembered his only uncle leading Morgana into Camelot. He remembered Morgana's first betrayal of the Kingdom. Quite suddenly and despite himself, large hot tears rolled silently down his cheeks.
Merlin was intent on his work and only noticed the King was crying when a hot teardrop fell onto his hand as he laced Arthur's nightshirt. He stopped what he was doing and looked up into Arthur's face in consternation.
"A-arthur?", he asked uncertainly.
Arthur tried to hold back his tears and not be thus exposed in front of his manservant, but his traitorous emotions betrayed him. His whole frame shook and he sat heavily on the side of the bed sobbing silently. He covered his face with his hands and wept uncontrollably.
A few moments later he felt the weight as Merlin sat on the bed beside him. The boy put an arm around him and pulled him into a comforting half hug. Merlin said nothing but simply cradled his head and pulled it onto his shoulder and stroked Arthur's hair as tears continued to flow.
By and by the King cried himself tearless and began to calm. Merlin let him go, but stayed sitting beside him on the bed studying his face. Arthur eventually composed himself and attempted to wipe his face dry with his sleeve. Merlin leaned over toward the cabinet beside the bed and sat back up and offered Arthur the dampened cloth that he had used earlier.
"Better?", he asked simply.
Arthur nodded as he mopped his face clean of tears. "I guess", he replied quietly. "Just tired, that's all."
Merlin was unsure if the King meant that crying had made him tired, or if he was exhausted because of the crying. "Let's get you into bed", he said gently, "You'll feel better in the morning, I'm sure of it."
Merlin sorted out the pillows and pulled the bedding back, then covered Arthur as he slid between the sheets.
"I'm not sure I'll feel any better", mumbled Arthur mostly to himself as he settled down in bed, "I'll still be the King that is betrayed or deserted by everybody that he loves."
Merlin's heart clenched in his chest at these heartfelt words. "Oh, Arthur", he said gently, "I'm sorry that you feel like this. But try to remember, the Kingdom is filled with people that love you, and need you."
Arthur let out a long sigh and looked up at Merlin with red rimmed sad eyes. "What about those that I love and I need, Merlin?", he said sadly, "Why can I never have them?"
Merlin's eyes filled with tears and he shrugged in reply, shaking his head once.
Arthur rolled over and faced away from him and settled into his pillow. "The more time goes by", he said into the darkness, "The more I understand my father. His cold aloofness used to puzzle me, and upset me ,but I think now he may have been right all along. Showing love...making oneself vulnerable to others is a weakness and leads to nothing but hurt and disappointment." He let out another long sigh, "From now on, I shall endeavour to be much more like my Father. Goodnight Merlin."
Merlin stood a while looking down at Arthur after he'd finished his speaking. Tears were rolling unbidden down his own cheeks now and he had to wait a while to regain control of himself before he could return Arthur's "Goodnight".
With a heavy heart he blew out the last of the candles and waited until Arthur's breathing evened out before muttering a spell to unlock the door.
He slipped quietly from the room and walked slowly back to his own chambers feeling as though his actions had ruined absolutely everything and broken Arthur's spirit as well as his heart.