A/N: Hi, everyone. I'm back, after taking a self-imposed break from writing. I was having problems finding inspiration, and just didn't want to write, so I let myself take some time off to rest and relax. So, at the risk of sounding a little harsh, I'm now going to take my time and write what and when I feel like writing, instead of trying to keep up a semi-insane pace while writing three stories. I will be updating, but it'll probably be a little more erratic. Sorry, it was just wearing me out.

So thanks to everyone who has waited patiently for me to post again. Thanks to everyone who has left me a review so far, I really do take them to heart and try to address any concerns or ideas coming from them. Enjoy!

They were sitting in the last row of the first-class section of a half-full plane traveling from Portland to Bella studied Hermione for the first half of their cross-country plane ride. Hermione pretended not to notice, she was reading a Potions magazine that appeared to be a popular women's magazine to those sitting around her.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about?" Hermione asked once she was sure they wouldn't be overheard.

"Why did you agree to go with me? Edward told me you were going to Georgia, but I thought magic would be quicker for that," Bella responded as quietly as possible.

"Because it's obvious you are still afraid of me, and Edward thought it was a good idea for us to get to know each other better. Especially if you're planning on becoming one of us soon," she added bitterly.

"You sound like that disgusts you."

She sighed, and flipped a page of her magazine, looking contemplative for a couple seconds before answering with a question of her own. "How do you plan on making your transition?"

"I was going to have Carlisle or Edward..."

"Not that part," she interrupted. "I mean, how do you plan on avoiding..." her eyes scanned around before finishing "meat" below her breath.

"Oh! I was planning on going somewhere where, er, meat wasn't available. Just avoid it until my mind is mine again."

"Do you think that will stop you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have tried both types, and I'll put it to you like this. Imagine that you have been surviving on a Saltine with tomato paste and imitation cheese for years. That's all you get, day in, day out. Just one. It's enough to sustain you, but you're never truly satisfied.

"Then one day someone puts a pizza in front of you. A large one, covered in rich cheese, handmade sauce, covered in all sorts of new and delicious smelling toppings. Its aroma fills the room, you can taste it on your tongue from a good distance away. Every cell in your body is screaming for you to go and take a bite.

"But instead someone hands you your everyday, imitation of the masterpiece in front of you, and tells you that you must resist that for the substitute. And they leave you alone with it. Would you be able to take the simple cracker and leave the pizza? What if it had been weeks since you had last had something to eat, and you are driven almost completely by the pain in your stomach telling you that you must eat now or risk losing control, and if you do that one pizza may not be enough. Would you still take the solitary cracker?"

"We're not talking crackers and pizza here," Bella muttered. "We're talking lives."

"To us it's essentially the same issue," she replied shortly. "The vegetarian lifestyle sustains us. But I also remember my first time. I remember that smell, and nothing else. Before I knew it she was gone. It happened a few times since then. I've waited too long, pushed my limits just one day too far, been too close to someone bleeding. It was the worst in Volterra. So many surrounding me..."

"Edward will teach me," she stuttered.

"There's not enough you can learn. Especially when you are acting so selfish."

"Selfish?" her jaw dropped.

Hermione scanned the plane, then nodded towards a businesswoman sitting three rows in front of them who was obliviously working on her laptop. "She obviously has a job that keeps her busy. She has a wedding ring, so she's married. Her wallpaper on her computer is three young children. Should she die so you can be with Edward forever? Should they?" she added, nodding towards a couple holding hands and completely engrossed in each other sitting across from them. "Or perhaps the whole of the plane? There are eighty-five people on this flight. Two less than I took my first year."

"Eighty-seven?" she gasped.

"That's low for a newborn. I was always told I had remarkable control for one my age. You see what's happening in Seattle. That's just the bodies they've found. Most of our kind are smart enough to know you kill the dregs of society and hide the bodies well. Jasper taught me to go after young, single tourists. People who would never be reported missing, or people who would have problems pinning down when and where they disappear from."

"Eighty-seven," she repeated in disbelief.

"From what Jasper tells me it's not unheard of for that number to be in the hundreds, even for some of the older members."

"I won't be like that. I'll stay away from people forever if I have to. My count will be the same as Carlisle's."

She snorted. "Who's life are you willing to bet on that?" she asked, looking Bella deep in her eyes. "How many should die so you can get your happily ever after with Edward?"

She bit her lip, unsure of what to say. Hermione went back to reading her periodical. It wasn't until the plane started to descend that Bella spoke.

"If you are so concerned about how many people you... why didn't you end it a long time ago?"

"Walking into open flames was always a possibility," Hermione whispered, eyes becoming unfocused. "From the moment I realized what I was. But I saw what the thought of killing myself had done to Draco, realized what it must have done for Ginny, Neville, Luna, and most of all Harry. I got what all those who succeed in killing themselves never get a chance to do- explain. To look my friends in the eyes and tell them what drove me to want to end it. And so I had a reason to live for a few more years. But how do you explain to everyone, and then go do what you had been hoping to do? Harry was a wreck when he thought I was dead, to actually go through with it after he knew I was still around would crush him, and I couldn't do that to him and everyone who was affected by his turned-around mood."

"But you got Jasper," she pointed out.

"If I hadn't been at that club, if I had never met Jasper, I never would have had that automatic way of death that I was thinking of. Any potion I could brew would take so long I would have thought the better of it before I took it, and because my instinctual magic would save me from most traditional forms of suicide there was little I could do to end it short of taking a poison, and that wasn't something I had sitting around my house. I guess I could have gone and kicked Lucius Malfoy in the bits, but that probably would have involved a world of hurt rather than a surefire death. But it would make for a longtime dream come true. I guess, in the end, I got my revenge."

Hermione was thoughtful for a second before continuing. "If I never met Jasper, I might not have been so emotionally drained that I would consider ending it. And by now I'd be Mrs. Malfoy, or Mrs. Lupin, or even Mrs. Weasley. George proposed to me every other week, and Harry said he was only half-joking. Weasley men like a strict woman. No matter the way, I'd be able to have so many things that I was forced to give up when I became what I am now. I probably would have a stable home, a job, friends I could visit in the worst of my moods without worrying about hurting someone. And children. My friends are all starting families, and being able to hold the little ones causes me pain, because it'll never be my child in my arms."

"But you love Jasper," Bella whispered.

"With all my heart and whatever is left of my soul. I wouldn't trade him for anyone."

"But you won't marry him."

"Out of respect for my parents. They told me they didn't care who I married, as long as he made me happy, and I did it properly in a church in front of God and my loved ones. They gave up so much for me when they allowed me to go to Hogwarts, the least I can do is honor their memory by not betraying the one thing they asked of me."

"Alice and Amir, and Emmett and Rosalie have had a bunch of weddings."

"You only get one chance to do it for the first time. I don't mind Jasper wanting me to wear a ring to symbolize my commitment to him, and I understand him wanting me to take his last name. One cannot expect someone raised in the mid 1800s to not be traditional. But as for the white dress and the pomp, I don't think it's necessary. There's no legal reason for us to do it that way."

"Edward wants to marry me," she nearly whispered.

"And we've come full circle, haven't we? Edward adores you, loves every second he has with you, and would do anything to keep those seconds limited. And yet you insist on making the change."

Bella was silent for a minute, the outskirts of Jacksonville starting to become visible beneath the clouds below them. "You and Jasper are equals. You are both incredibly beautiful, you have everything that comes with your condition, you're both talented. Edward and I are not equals. He's beautiful..."

"You're beautiful in his eyes, and his eyesight is much better," Hermione shot back.

"He has all these extra talents..."

"A curse as much as a gift, I assure you."

"How could he possibly want me when I'm forty? Fifty? Old and grey?"

"I slept with a man over twice my age, who still bore the scars of his attack when he was young, who always showed the signs the stress of his condition bore upon him. And he was absolutely beautiful. And as much as I love him as a friend, it's a much different type of love than what Edward has for you. Nothing could diminish your beauty in his eyes, I'd be willing to bet he'd think you much more beautiful as you do what he can't."

"It's all well and good to think that he'd find me beautiful when he's unwilling to touch me that way because I'm so breakable," she grumbled under her breath.

"Edward's a man. And eventually even the most stubborn men will give in," Hermione muttered back as the plane touched down. "And if you prove that you are not as breakable as he thinks you are he'll be much quicker to give you what you want."

Bella didn't speak again until they were picking up their luggage. Just as they were pulling their bags off the belt they heard a voice calling Bella from behind them, and turned to see Renee running towards them.

"Oh, Bella!" she shouted, throwing her arms around her daughter and hugging her tightly. Behind her Phil stood, arms crossed, smiling.

"I've missed you, Mom," Bella whispered, hugging her mother as tightly as her mother was hugging her.

"I'm so glad you're home!" Renee broke away, holding her daughter at arm's length so she could look her over. "And in one piece, too."

"It happens on occasion," she chuckled back.

"And this must be Hermione," she broke away to give the vampire a tight squeeze.

"Pleasure to meet you," Hermione said, her Italian accent suddenly returning. "Thank you so much for having me."

"I have to admit that I was surprised when Bella said you were coming. I was sure she'd bring Edward, or Alice. I don't remember you from when I met your family in Phoenix..."

"You wouldn't, Mom. She wasn't there. Neither was Jasper," Bella said quickly as they walked towards the parking lot.

"That's right. What was it again?"

Bella sighed, rolling her eyes and shooting Hermione a 'this is the way she is' look. "Jasper is Rosalie's brother. He chose to go to boarding school in England instead of moving in with the rest of the Cullens. That's where he met Hermione, and they are now engaged."

"And you're spending time in Forks?"

"Jasper wanted to spend time with his sister and the family. He has spent so much time around mine, it's only fair they get a chance to know me before the big day."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-two," she answered, making it seem plausible she already had a college degree. "Jasper's twenty-three."

"That's so young," she said with concern lining her face.

"When you find the right one, the one you know you're going to be with forever, that you'd cross oceans for, why wait? We've been together since I was seventeen, so it's not like this has been a short-term thing," she replied nonchalantly as they walked out of the airport and into the bright sunshine. Bella couldn't help but stare at Hermione's skin, looking for a hint of a sparkle.

"As long as you're smart about it," Renee muttered, helping the girls put their suitcases in the car.

Renee and Phil owned a modest home within walking distance of the beach. There were two bedrooms, the master bedroom, and a smaller one they had set up with a couple air mattresses, Phil's workout equipment pushed up against the walls. Hermione and Bella changed into more appropriate shorts and t-shirts, stashed their things, and climbed back into the car to go out for dinner. Dinner was spent with mostly Bella and Renee talking, Phil and Hermione occasionally exchanging a couple pleasant words, but mostly listening to the other two. Bella noticed that Hermione was doing an excellent job playing human, Edward has mentioned Esme, Rosalie, and Amir had drilled her on it for a couple days. She was even pretending to eat, though watching her closely it was evident that no food was going down with her swallowing.

They went to a mini-golf course after dinner, and Hermione trounced them all. They went home and started a movie, and Hermione excused herself to call Jasper. She passed the phone to Bella to talk to Edward, and the started getting ready to go to bed.

"Are you going to Atlanta tonight?" Bella asked as they laid on their mattresses in the dark.

"Hmmm?" Hermione asked, looking up from the book she was reading by the light of the streetlamp outside the house.

"Edward told me you wanted to talk to that newborn who got away from you when the Vol... you guys were over there a few years ago."

"Oh. Yeah," she muttered. "I guess I better go." She dressed in long, dark clothes and jumped out of the window, but instead of turning towards Atlanta she turned south. Emmett had told her that if she got a chance she should try to hunt down a big alligator, and being gone all night would be the only way that Bella would not become suspicious that Hermione wasn't there because she wanted to go, she was there as Bella's bodyguard and to keep information from her former best friend.

The next day Renee wanted some alone time with her daughter, so Hermione went with Phil to his team's morning practice. By the time Bella and Renee got back from their morning walk and shopping session Phil and Hermione were home, and Hermione was chatting rapidly in angry-sounding Italian on a cell phone Bella didn't recognize as the one the Cullens gave her.

"She's been on that for about forty five minutes," Phil said as they started pulling out food to make lunch. "She hasn't sounded happy at all. All I can say is I'm sure happy that I'm not that Aro guy."

Bella involuntarily shuddered at the name. It didn't escape Renee's scrutiny.

"Everything okay, honey?"

"Yeah. Just the chills," she replied quickly. "Want to chop the tomatoes?"

"Of course," she said enthusiastically. She and Phil started chatting about his team's game that night, asking Bella if she wanted to go, and talking about what a win would mean when Renee suddenly swore.

"Damn it, I cut myself," she said through clenched teeth.

Bella's eyes immediately turned to Hermione, who had stopped moving with the phone half-closed. Her muscles were twitching as if she were fighting an involuntary movement. She had stopped blinking or breathing. Bella could have sworn that she saw her eyes flash red before she excused herself and rushed to the guest room faster than she probably should have moved.

"Is everything alright with Hermione?" Renee asked, wrapping a band-aid around the small cut.

"She's worse around blood than I am," Bella replied, deciding to rush after Hermione.

"You better leave," Hermione warned as she entered the room.

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Not really," she said, gripping the mattress she was sitting on so tightly it popped. Her shattered cell phone was sitting at her feet. She looked up, and the spells had lifted. Her eyes were a bright red, the sunlight streaming into the window was causing her skin to sparkle. "I'm doing my best here."

"Fight it. Please. That's my mother," she whispered.

"I'm doing my best!" she growled. "Get out!"

Bella scrambled out of the room, slamming the door, and nearly running down her mother, who was carrying a glass of water.

"Is everything alright?" Renee asked again, looking confused.

"She's just upset over a fight she had with her father about their business. She wants a couple minutes alone to compose herself and think some things through."

"Would she like to eat? Lunch is almost ready."

Bella tentatively knocked on the door. "Hermione, would you like lunch."

"No, thank you!" came the reply, the accent strained.

Hermione didn't emerge until the game that night, once Renee had changed her bandage, and Bella had slyly burned the old one. She had also cleaned the counter and everything Renee had touched thoroughly when her mother and step-father had retired to change into warm clothes for the game. Hermione apologized for her behavior, and all was forgotten in the excitement of the game.

Late that night, when Bella was asleep, the phone the Cullens gave Hermione started to buzz.

"How did it go?" she asked as she answered, knowing it was Jasper on the other end of the phone.

"She got away," he growled, clearly agitated.

"What?" she asked in surprise. "What happened?"

"Emmett and one of the mutts got into a fight when Emmett accidentally went over the line. Carlisle and I managed to get the situation under control, but in the confusion she managed to get into the ocean, and she was guarding her thoughts so Edward didn't know which way she went. "

"Damn it. I knew I should have been there," she muttered angrily.

"You wouldn't have been able to stop it without giving yourself away."

"I'm sure that even they would be happy to be done with her."

"They weren't happy learning about my gift. It irritates them that they don't have control of their emotions around me, and feel that I'm manipulating things towards my end. Things might have gotten out of control if they knew what you were capable of."

"I'm not staying home next time," she grumbled.

"I don't expect you to. Alice doesn't think she's going to come back after this one. Things got really close, and she seemed surprised at the number of us following her. Edward says she only expected six, she got eight, and she expected Edward to stay home and protect Bella. She was quite upset before she reminded herself to keep her thoughts to herself."

"If there's a next time, I'm coming with. We have enough to worry about without her showing up randomly."

"You talked to Aro about the other four bodies?" he asked, though it sounded almost like a statement.

"Yes, and he's still pressing for you and I to take care of it ourselves. He said he's going to start preparing a group, and if there's any more deaths in a week he'll send them. I told him they've already started escalating, but he just thinks it's a single out of control newborn."

"You told him my suspicions that there's more than one?"

"Yes, but he says there's no reason for a newborn army in that area. He thinks we're being a little paranoid because we're so close."

There was a long pause before Jasper muttered, "What do you think?"

"I'm thinking Edward was more accurate than even he knew. That Aro is mostly hopeful that we'll get fed up and do it ourselves, and perhaps a potential threat that has nothing to do with newborns is taken care of."

She could hear him snarl softly, but regain himself quickly. "I'll never let anything happen to you, my love."

"And I'll never let anything happen to you. I love you."

"I love you, too," he said, and she could tell he finally has a smile in his voice.