Life

APOV

I had pulled on my outfit and stood in front of the mirror. They say that a person looks different when they are in love. I sure as hell felt different but nothing looked different to me. My hair was still perfectly spiked in the back with my bangs smoothed down the sides of my face. My gold eyes still looked luminous against my pale skin, I was still four feet ten inches, thank god, and I still had a great figure in this outfit.

I turned in front of the mirror with self satisfaction written all over my face. The midnight blue out fit zipped from mid waist up to my neck, where I intentionally left it un zipped mid chest. Not that I was showing off any cleavage…that was not classy, but you could definitely tell it was there. The long sleeves had small compartments on the side of my arm so that I could store things like; my cell for example. I had the same cargo type pockets on my legs and a really convenient compartment belt around my waste. I looked down to make sure that the flare of the pants fit over my boots fine and of course they did. I was a fashion genius for all types of fashion.

I checked my lips gloss by rubbing one finger over my lips before leaning away from the mirror with a satisfying smirk. I was excited to see how Bella looked in the outfit and wondered if the guys would notice how similar there outfits where…well actually the only difference was size, cut, and color. The polo shirts and jeans were made out of the same material as our outfits; it was pretty indestructible. They probably would just assume it was jeans and a regular ol' Polo because of the difference between the girls outfits and the guys, but I really could see myself putting them in something this tight…I mean you might as well add a cape to them if you're going to put a man in tights. I rolled my eyes and opened the bathroom door to find my room deserted.

I sighed when I walked past the closet; there was still a lingering scent of Jasper and I in there and it was starting to frustrate me again. I picked up my pace and took the stairs two at a time before jumping down to the landing and smiling brightly at my family who was gathered around the dining room table discussing Roses contact list. It was nice to see everyone working together.

My eyes roamed over Tanya and Bella who looked great in there outfits; then over to Emmett and Edward, it had been far too long since I had seen them acting as brothers, the side glances and silent conversations that they would have were always somewhat amusing to me. Jasper stood in the corner of the room looking better than I thought he would in the out fit I made. His finger played absent mindedly on the hem of the material. His eyes were focused on me but his mind seemed to be else where.

I brushed past Emmett placing a hand on his shoulder and smiling at him as he looked up to me from his cell phone. The smile in his eyes was slowly returning; I watched as his gaze moved from me to Jasper and his eye brows shot up and down suggestively...we weren't that loud were we? I guess he was mending his own trust issues with Jasper. This made me even happier.

As I walked toward Jasper I realized that his eyes were still on me; I smiled at him and took a stand by his side watching over everyone as they prepared to leave the house. His shirt was dark enough that it made his pale skin stand out and his eyes that much brighter, I was going to need to put him in dark clothes more often.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Completely I would say it's time to get the party started. Demetri and I have some things to discuss. But I think you're about to learn a few things about me that you would rather not know. Remember, that was the old me. You've changed me and I can never, no won't ever go back to that person."

He seemed to be acting strange maybe even a little bit nervous; but I shrugged it off…it possibly had something to do with the mood he was in while we sat in the living room. I'd ask him while we were driving to Demetri's…and what did he mean things to discuss? I looked to Edward who just shrugged his shoulders.

"You know Demetri?"

"You could say he and I go back a long time. He and I were.....well, you could say we had mutual feelings for the Shifters. And thanks to it, we became sort of friends. Not that you can be friends with someone who is supposed to be an enemy in this war."

Jasper placed his hand into my own and slid his fingers in between mine; the feeling was relaxing. I made one final assessment of each person's futures and saw them all working well together. One shone the brightest and was somewhat terrifyingly beautiful. Everyone was facing a windowless house; I assume Edward was listening in, but Tanya's long blonde hair reminded me a lot of Roses…and it made my heart leap to even have a glimpse of Rose possibly helping out with our task. Too bad she wouldn't see civilization for awhile.

I inhaled a deep breath and shuffled my feet to the front door with Jasper next to me. Something clicked in my mind…he said 'friends' when he was talking about Demetri…well he was possibly in for one hell of a surprise.

"Uhm, Jasper? Just in case you were wondering…Demetri and I are not friends. We are far from friends actually. He used to hit on myself and Bella a lot…I kind of kept Edward from killing him one night which is why he owes me a favor…so he might be a little tense to see me on his door step. Just to let you know."

With that I smiled and fished my keys out of my purse, I didn't know if Jasper wanted to drive; he never mentioned it before so I wasn't going to offer. If he wants something bad enough he'll ask…right?

As I opened the door and felt the cool wave of a midnight breeze brush past me I felt an strong since of anger roll over me. It was suffocating. I stopped and turned to Jasper as he stared and locked eyes with Edward. What did you do this time Edward?

"Sorry everyone; I, sometimes, have trouble controlling the extreme emotions."

Oh, my lips parted in understanding as everyone else shrugged off the anger that was 'accidentally' fed from Jasper. This was going to take a lot of getting used to. Jasper and Edward still remained locked into an obvious silent conversation, Not fair Edward. I closed my eyes and began to move out of the front door with Jasper; Edward spoke as my foot crossed the threshold.

"Don't worry. I'll try not to say anything until you say so."

Say anything? These two were going to be my undoing and I know that they now had more than just my interest peaked. I'm sure Bella and Emmett were just as curious as why, Tanya probably didn't care though.

I reached the car and dropped Jaspers hand while as reached to open the driver side door. He walked to the passenger side and I clicked the lock to allow him; the buzzing click on the other side of the door told me that 'a' I was going to need to turn the car in soon, the motor should not be making that noise and 'b' the discussions that we both have placed in our mind to have now were about to start.

Jasper climbed into the car sending his scent cascading over with a mix of the leather smell that was already present. I closed my eye momentarily to clear my head and regain my focus; driving was definitely going to be chore tonight.

"I'm sure you already figured it out; but Emmett does know if he can trust you. I don't know the reasons behind it, and I'm sure it has something to do with how unfocused he is because of Rose…but he's coming back and I don't want you to worry too much about it."

"Worry? Why would I worry? I can understand where he's coming from. His wife, his reason for being is acting like a wild caged beast. I would be unsure of everyone around me. I knew something was up and now it makes sense. But worry, no. He'll come around and realize who his friends are. I'm just sorry that he has been put in this situation."

"What was with how tense you were in the living room and the secrets conversations with you and Edward, what were those?"

There, I got most of what I wanted to ask out of the way quickly! I was notoriously difficult to keep up with in a conversation but I didn't think we really had that much time until we arrived at Demetri's and those are the things that at this present moment; I was very curious about.

"Edward....well, you sort of.....I don't know. You said about Demetri hitting on you. Edward's emotions hit me fairly strong. They weren't happy feelings either. I kind of figured out how far the "hitting" on you went. I want a few minutes alone with Demetri. No arguments about it either.

There is a second part to this conversation too. I....I don't know where to start with it. I have never tried to explain it to anyone before. And Edward able to read minds tell me that anything I tell you will be his knowledge eventually. That was why he made the comment.

He and I have a mutual understanding. He's going to try to stop from seeing how my abilities work until I am ready to speak to him about them."

I wanted to protest about the alone conversation with Demetri…I could handle myself, and I could handle Demetri he was nothing for me to worry about and nothing for Jasper to worry about. I had found my soul mate and there was no thin line between…it was just him and only him for me.

"How about you start from the beginning? I'm interested to know everything about you…and if there is something I could do to help, well I'd like to know that too."

I took a long drawn out breath and concentrated on the road again. I was still fighting the frustrating urges to pull the car over and take him on the side of the road. Jasper's scent mixed with my own in the car making the entire ride an uncomfortable yet sweet torture. I had to make sure we made it to Demetri's there would be time later for showing him exactly how I felt about him; and how strong that urge to have him was.

"Well, my ability is not just reading and controlling others' feelings or emotions. It's more than that. I can focus my emotions onto others. I did it to you when it came out about James. I am truly sorry for that."

"It's ok Jasper, I'm sure you didn't mean to and that's all that matters."

"That's what happened at the house. Not only can I project my emotions on one person but a whole room full of people. It's worse than that though. I can control my projection when I want to but extreme emotions like anger or hate get away from me unless I focus deeply. That, of course, leaves me unguarded.

It also happens on the opposite end of the spectrum. Love, wants and desire can bring the strongest to their knees. They can't control the need that I am projecting. It's something I've been working on for a long time. I still can't seem to handle it when they're extreme emotions I am feeling."

I listened to every single word and I listened carefully…but for some reason not everything clicked to me immediately, so if what he is saying is right; whenever someone gets really angry…he gets really angry for them? Talk about emotional support…poor Jasper.

"So you can make people feel things, as well as feel their emotions and depending upon the strength of that emotion is depending upon how well you can control it and manipulate it?"

I think I summed it up pretty well, that or I really am more confused than I originally thought…so was he saying that he didn't want me the way I wanted him? Was it my emotions reflecting to strongly off of him? I had never felt more insecure and self conscious at the same time…and of course he was probably picking up on that. At least I didn't have Edward around to laugh at me or make snide little comments. I was going to kick myself for being so stupid whenever I got alone again.

"Sort of. I can manipulate feelings that are already present within the person. I can't make them hate someone just because I want them to. I can bring deeply buried emotions to the surface and control the intensity of them. I can also blanket their surface emotions. Like I did at the docks. You were calm and in control. You didn't feel the rage but you knew you should. The emotions were still there just suppressed.

I can anticipate how someone will feel about a subject or situation, from there I can blanket them so the anger or hate will be eased if I think it would help. I would never do that with love or desire. It wouldn't be right to force those emotions down."

I felt a rush of relief that I knew hadn't been Jasper; well partly…he wasn't making me feel relief, I was feeling relief because of the words he spoke…I wasn't making him want me…we were wanting each other and that was a relief, knowing that someone felt the same way as you did about them was self satisfying.

I whipped the car around a curve at a blinding speed and looked down at the speedometer. I didn't realize how fast I had been driving and eased off the gas slightly, no need to rush to get to Demetri I could be selfish and enjoy the ride with Jasper if I wanted to.

"I'm sorry, hanging around myself and my family must be torture…we're not exactly emotionally stable."

I frowned at my own words and sighed again. He must have been hurting or well at least feeling the hurt from my family; the anger and the frustration were like tidal waves in the house and you didn't need special gifts to know it.

"It's difficult but it is worth it if I can be near you. I am connected to you in a way I've never felt before. Anytime I am away from you, I felt lost and disconnected from a reality that till recently never existed for me. I don't like the confusing feelings I have from it. Your family's emotions are much more stable than mine, anyways."

Colors of amber flashed before my eyes and I could hear laughter; it was a deep and unsettling laughter. I looked around and felt something crashing at me; instinctively I ducked to hear something else crashing. My eyes were not closed but I could see anything, a blinding pain struck my side and anger boiled up inside me. I moved my hands around my face feeling material blocking my view. I struggled to tear the material and began to see small glimpses of light.

My eyes shot open and I felt wrapped into an embrace; I tried to push away but he just held on tighter…his scent hit me first and my mind zoned back into what's real. The vision wasn't real…the man sitting next to me holding as I tried to push him away was real. I took a deep breath and focused my mind back on Jasper's soothing scent. The vision was intense; and they were becoming more frequent. Maybe I should let Jasper drive the rest of the way.

"Maybe you should drive."

My face was still buried into his shirt, and it didn't feel him being able to release me or me being able to release him anytime soon. I took in his scent greedily letting it take over all of my senses before he would pull away. I needed this, I needed him, and I needed to find the person or persons after me before they found me.

"I'm sorry I almost wrecked the car…this would have been two in a few days. The visions…they are so intense sometimes. Especially when they are affecting me directly."

"Are you okay now? I could feel how intense they were......Wait, what do you mean they're affecting you directly? What was it?"

I almost wanted to laugh at myself; what was it and who was it was a very big question for me that I did not presently have the answer to. It was more frustrating than my lack of alone time with Jasper. I pulled away from his embrace readying myself to take on whatever emotion he accidentally threw out.

"That's a problem…even Edward has solved this one and he can see the visions as well as I can…to him they look like distant memories in my mind, all I have to do is think of what I can remember. The problem is I can't see who's attacking me in the visions…often I am alone when I can see…and more times than not there is a red or orange lighting…I can remember cement and smelling salt in the air. But that's about it. It's the reason I went and found the file; I knew someone was hunting me."

"Red or orange lightening....that could be anything."

Jasper paused and I knew he wasn't speaking to me, more or less thinking to himself. He was stuck in the same place I was…it could be anything, or well anyone. This mystery was bugging the shit out of me normally I saw who it was, but this person must have known who they were up against because my vision was always stripped from me; I was going to have to start relying on my other senses.

"Distant memories.....could it have anything to do with the vampire that changed you? Do you know who he was?"

"No, James killed the man who changed me…supposedly he loved me, I don't know what I felt for him if I even felt anything at all…but he died shortly after he changed me to save me from James. He didn't want James to have my blood."

"Cement and smelling salt. Well, cement could describe a lot of places in the world but smelling salt narrows it down a little. A lot of the Hunters use smelling salt on the humans to keep them conscious through the.....through things....I think you understand.

As for the person hunting you, there was only one person that I know of. That was me. So why are you having visions unless they've sent someone else. You said that all of your visions had you alone?"

I had expected anger, or for him to feel sorry for me; but he was distant and in military mod. He was trying to figure out who it was as much as I was and it was somewhat nice to have a fresh set of eyes analyzing what I have been seeing, of course I knew what the smelling salt was for…but it wasn't salt like that… I was sure of at least that.

"It's not smelling salt…its salt in the air…only the wind in my vision carries the salt to me, it's hard to describe. I don't think that you were ever the only one hunting me, the Volturi were upset when I refused there offer to join their guard several hundreds of years ago when Bella was human. And yes, I am alone in them all…I have had visions where the war was over and I could see everyone happy or sad or angry…but I was never with any of you. And this vision there was something restricting my vision causing the red, I assume they had my eyes tied up… every time I am about to have my vision restored the vision cuts out telling me that whoever it is has not yet decided on what to do once I can see them."

"So, that's how your visions work? Determined by what the person decides? What if I decided that I wasn't leaving your side? Could that change this vision or the others you've been having?"

God I wish it was that easy. My insides tightened as I thought of the best way to explain it to him; and theoretically that would work, unless someone else has or had already made the decision to make sure he wasn't with me…by force or other means I suppose.

"Yes and No… all of my visions are subject to the actions of other people. The smallest thing can change everything so completely. You can decide to stay by my side Jasper, but that doesn't mean that someone wont or hasn't already thought of that and made a plan to take care of it. Some visions are set in stone…they are meant to be and there isn't anything to change them…I just keep telling myself to be prepared to fight alone, because right now that's all I am seeing as an option."

I frowned, I know he didn't like the answer and sadness crept over me when I realized that what if he was taken from me by force? I needed to protect Jasper; he could get hurt because of me. I couldn't have that, but I couldn't leave him…I couldn't walk away because it would be an instant death for us both mentally. I was dependent on him now; I needed to solve this mystery before my visions came true. I needed to change the future.

"It's possible that someone has figured out a way to keep me away from you. To get you by yourself. I'll have to think on that. It leaves me with options to come up with a plan. It also narrows the names. It has to be someone who knows how you and I would connect. They've anticipated that you and I would be a couple.

Alice, do you trust me? I mean truly and fully trust me?"

"With my life."

I felt the words come from my mouth and knew them to be true. I trusted Jasper with everything that I was, but in his statement it felt as if he was going to leave me. I couldn't have him leave me; it will kill me…I felt as if just a few moments away from him was sheer torture I had just found him…and I couldn't let him go.

"Seems unique to hear a vampire call it a life. It's always been an existence to me. Anyways, I can feel the emotions coming from you even when we should be in a state of lust and need. That's how it's been for me since I first saw you only more intense. It is a love lust and need and I can't handle you feeling so....I don't know....different. Sad, worried. I want your permission to lighten those feelings. Bring your feelings for me to the surface. Make you completely my angel again. Will you let me?"

His voice was soft and he seemed genuinely concerned. Would I let him? Would I let him give me the drug that is him twice over? Just his very presence brought me to life; and yes it is a life…a very long life…but life any way you look at it. My existence ended and my life started when he came to me in the woods. I had a life now, and he was the center of that universe.

"Yes, but I need to know something first. I don't want to feel warm and secure if you are going to leave me…even if it's for a short amount of time. I need to know if you'll be here?"

"How about this? I'm not going to bring your emotions and feelings to the surface. I'm going to show you how I can project my feelings. I'm going to show you how much you mean to me. What you do to me. Just relax. Clear your mind. Don't think about me or your feelings for me. I don't want you to confuse your feelings for mine."

His gentle hand left me and I immediately felt lost and disconnected from him; could one touch really invoke those feelings? I sighed as he raised an eye brow and a gentle smile creased his lips. It wasn't a big grin, simple but it held a million answers to my own questions.

I did as he asked and cleared my mind, I didn't think of anything; instead I practiced finding my own 'chi' and let the haze and fog of complete and utter nothingness take over my mind. I exhaled a deep breath and closed my eyes.

For a moment there was nothing and then I felt love and warmth, a gentle horizon over a tied of black and death. A strong light blinding my mind's eye and capturing my soul fully, was this how he felt about me? I smiled but kept my eyes close relishing in the emotions that we shared together. His like my own were mood altering and life changing.

My own emotions became over whelmed with each wave that hit me. I could smell him, taste him, and even feel him against my skin. The car started to feel crowded as the love he held for me wrapped me up completely. I opened my eyes to stare directly into his, the passion I had been fighting to make sure we made it to Demetri was over powering me, I need to take a step back and focus or I was going to take Jasper in a rental car…ideal but not exactly romantic if you ask me.

My body acted without my permission and leaned over the center console towards Jasper. My hands braced myself on his chest and I felt my fingers curl to bring him closer, much closer. The shock I felt when my lips finally met his was undeniably the best feeling I had ever had. I was floating in his love for me. I was on a mental high that I never wanted to drop from, I knew that I needed to…I knew that we had important things to take care of, in the back of my mind I even knew that it would be better for jasper to drive…but I couldn't stop myself.

I slid one hand and let my finger tips trail the soft texture of his neck, my nails lightly grazed the back of his ear lobe as they then intertwined themselves into his blond hair. I gasped letting my breath wash over his face and then pulled back. I needed to stop or we would never get to Demetri's, and right now…both of our lives were in danger; time was ticking. Maybe if we got what we needed quickly I could pick up where we left off…somewhere other than in this damn rental car.

The haze in my mind began to clear as I stared at Jasper, his smile was contagious and I could help but feel like this wasn't his emotions, they were so close to my own I felt as if they really were my own. If only there was a way for me to express that to him. Later, I would have him later…then I could show him how much I loved him.

"I think I should drive, angel. I don't trust drunk drivers."