Disclaimer: Ash is my creation, sure, but Revan and KOTOR are not.
I'm seriously on a roll. Five chaps in two days? That's awesome. But what would be more awesome is a couple of reviews. They feed my muse!
The hyperspace trip was a week, Manaan being small and out-of-the-way.
Ash spent four and a half days drunk or unconscious. She didn't want to have to face the truth that she was Revan. It was too hard to face, though she knew drinking and not eating wasn't the way to deal with it.
She didn't care, which surprised her. Ash sighed as she tilted her head back, closing her eyes.
"You need to eat something, lass."
"I'm not hungry." She lied. Her head was pounding. Her supply of alcohol was exhausted and the rest of it—the crew stock—had been hidden when Jolee realized she was going on a bender. "I want more tihaar."
"The Force can only repair so much damage to your liver."
She said nothing, launching herself to her feet. She stalked to the cargo bay, where a number of datapads were stacked. She went through them, picking out two designs that intrigued her—the lightwhip and guard shoto.
The crystals, safely kept in their bins, had all been meditated over. Well, except the krayt dragon pearl. Ash had nearly a dozen crystals, just waiting to be used in a lightsaber.
For hours, she cut and honed parts. She didn't want to sleep or dream. So she worked.
"Manaan is an hour out."
Ash sighed as she slumped, looking at all the lightsaber parts floating in front of her. They flew together as her stomach growled. She ran a hand through her hair and felt disgusted.
She collected her newly-built weapons and headed for the dorm she shared with… well, with just Mission, now that Bastila was gone. Dropping them on the bed, she gathered fresh clothes—Jedi robes—hair ties, a brush, and her haircare products.
She encountered no one on her trip to the bathroom and spent a long time soaking in hot water, grudgingly getting out and donning the robes—cream and dark gray, colors she felt fitted her well. They felt comfortable, but hung off her frame. She knew why. She hadn't eaten since—well, since leaving Tatooine, really.
Luckily, Jedi robes were baggy anyways, so just how loose they were wasn't too noticeable.
She brushed her hair, looking at the black locks that hung around her face. It was so different from the look she'd worn as Revan—a long braid, a thick jet rope. She could at least have braids, feel some connection to the self cruelly torn from her, even if it wasn't the self she wanted.
Ash stared at her reflection. Tears glimmered in her eyes. She wiped them away, angry at herself.
"I owe something to Bastila. I am going to get her back to Coruscant," she told her reflection, arms braced on the sink, "if I have to drag her kicking and screaming. And then I am going to go to the Outer Rim with Mission. And we will have fun, and we will explore every damn planet she wants to explore. And I am going to grow my hair out again, see if I like it."
She took a deep breath and started weaving slim braids into her hair. She added beads to each braid, dull gray and dull black. Then she used pins to make her hair look shorter than it was, while leaving shaggy locks in place to obscure her eyes.
"I will not break." She told her reflection resolutely. "I will not shatter. I am still Ash."
Then she opened the refreshed door and walked out, going to the dorm to collect her weapons for a brief practice bout. She tucked the lightwhip—a very light, slim cylinder—between her tunic and undertunic, held in place by her belt. She hung the guard shotos from her belt clips and made her way to the cargo bay.
"HK, stunbolts. Three rounds per second." She snapped, activating the guard shotos. They fit in her hands well and she knew that she knew how to use them. The two beams were dark, a silvery dark jade and indigo. It wasn't the indigo her krayt dragon pearl would give the blade, but she was patient.
"Statement: Yes, master."
HK started firing. Ash used the shotos to flick the blaster bolts—stun bolts—at the ceiling, then at various other targets. She did so until HK's powerpack ran out.
"You're not doing half-bad for someone who's spent the past week unconscious, tortured, drunk, or otherwise."
Ash grunted and shut off the shotos, hanging them from her belt again. The lightwhip sprang to her hand and she activated it, the violet strand coiling across the floor. Ash snapped it, frowning as she guided the whip with her mind.
"An interesting weapon." Canderous said. "Looks flimsy."
Ash shrugged. "My schematics all say that a lightsaber is a much better weapon, since it's more structurally sound and powerful. But there's a certain… fear factor that would come in when you use a lightwhip. And it's a rare weapon, so few would know how to fight it." She tilted the hilt, watching the violet beam shudder and coil again. "Of course, it's also dangerous to use, because you can't block and you could very easily hurt yourself with it."
"Any weapon is dangerous." Canderous rumbled.
"Yeah. This one is just a little more so."
He grunted. "So, are you going to teach the kid?"
"I don't know. I'm probably to worst person possible, seeing as I was Lady Revan."
"You're still Lady Revan, but you're not Lord Revan of the Sith." He said evenly. "The rumors among my people were that Revan was your last name and only a chosen few knew your first."
"Well, that sounds like something I would do. That way, nobody gets confused about who they're talking to and I'd have a second name I'd be used to responding to. While we're on Manaan, don't get arrested. The Selkath are pretty strict about their laws. I'd prefer not to pay bail. I promised Mission a shopping trip, after all."
"I'll try my hardest, Lady Revan."
"Ash, please."
She headed for the galley, getting juice and dropping vitamins in it. Ash downed the liquid quickly, rolling her shoulders. Then she slumped at the lone table in the galley, her eyelids flickering.
"You're awake!" Mission squealed.
Ash smiled, a bit weakly. "Yeah."
"Not so thrilled?"
"When I'm drunk or unconscious, I don't have to deal with… it." She waved her hand in the air. "I know that's a really bad way of avoidance… but that's how I deal, as far as I can remember. I guess old habits die hard."
"Well, we'll just have to make sure you don't find the alcohol stash." Mission teased.
"We're on a planet. I guarantee I can find a cantina."
"Don't."
"Yes, ma'am." Ash replied, mock-serious. Her mask of playful jibes was worn and comfortable. It was something for her to hold onto, something solid and familiar.
"Don't start." Mission said with narrowed eyes.
"Up for shopping? I was thinking we'd go tomorrow."
"Shopping?"
"I promised we'd go a spree, didn't I?"
Mission smiled. "Yeah. It'll be fun. Maybe we can get massages or something, too!"
"That'd be nice…" Ash muttered.
"So, are you going to train Dusty?"
"I dunno, Mish. I don't remember most of my mistakes…"
She shrugged. "Dustil asked, and he knows what he's asking."
"If he is sure, having seen my state the past week, sure, I'll train him." Ash sighed. "I don't know why he'd still want to learn from me, but it's his decision, I guess. And… I honestly wouldn't mind having a student. Leave a legacy beyond what I've already left."
"Dustil does want to be your Padawan."
"Ten minutes to landing." Carth's voice echoed through the intercom.
"Why?"
"He has reasons, I guess. You expect me to know?"
"Well, I was kinda hoping you would, little miss nosy."
"I don't. So, what's the plan for today?"
"Manaan's big on kolto trading, so there are Sith and Republic Embassies. My plan was to head to the Republic Embassy with… with Jolee, probably Dustil, and Carth." Her voice didn't change. "I want to get established as high-ranking visitors so I jump through as few hoops as possible."
Mission snorted. "Not to destroy your hopes, but when has anything ever been easy?"
"A girl can hope… and I can promote myself to Jedi Master Ash and Jolee to Jedi Master Bindo and Dustil to Padawan Dustil, traveling with his master and the illustrious Captain Carth Onasi on a search for important artifacts that will aid the Republic war effort."
"Devious. I like it."
"Thought you would." Ash grinned a bit at her daughter. "And can I have one of those special spikes you make? I want to download whatever I can from the Republic database."
"A mother after my own heart." Mission said dryly, palming the spike to Ash, who slipped it in a belt pouch. "I'll scope out some shops."
"HK is going with you." Ash said.
"Ash!"
"Hon, I don't want you to get hurt. And if you decide to buy something," Ash added slyly, "that droid will make a wonderful pack animal."
Mission brightened at that. "That'd be great. Your crazy assassin droid is my personal bag carrier."
Ash chuckled. "HK!" She yelled.
The droid clanked in. "Query: You called, master?"
"Yes, I did. Mission is going to visit around Manaan. Unless Zaalbar or Canderous would prefer to escort her around, it's your job. You do not threaten anyone unless Mission tells you to, understand?"
"Query: must I obey the blue meatbag, master?"
"The 'blue meatbag' is my daughter, HK, and none of your sass."
"Resigned statement: Yes, master. Query: I presume there is no killing or maiming without your express permission?"
"Exactly."
The droid made a noise that could only be described and an angry huff and stalked away. "Did your droid just throw a tantrum?" Mission asked.
"I think so."
It was silent for a moment. Then both females started laughing.
"What's so funny?" Dustil looked at them.
Ash wiped water from her eyes. "HK threw a tantrum."
"Oh-kay…" he sounded a bit puzzled. "So," he sat at the table, "are you going to teach me or not?"
"If you're absolutely sure you want this ex-Sith lord and part-time drunk as your teacher," she said seriously, her eyes narrowed slightly, "then yes, I'll teach you. We have some spare Jedi robes in one of the bins. Find a pair that fits and get them on. I want us to be blatant Jedi when we visit the Republic Embassy. You'll build a lightsaber later… you can use one of my old ones for now. They'll be in the bin with the robes. Or you can use two, if you prefer. Actually," she tapped her chin, "take both, but keep one out of sight."
He nodded. "Yes, master."
"You're still calling me Ash, understand?"
"Yes, Ash." He said with a hint of exasperation.
"Be ready to go in about an hour and a half, please."
"Of course." He walked away.
"Why isn't he bothered by the fact that I'm an ex-Sith lord and part-time drunk?" Ash muttered.
"Well, there's the ex part of Sith, and he was a Sith. He also realizes that Malak was the one who blew up Telos, and he probably isn't bothered by this week's drinking spree. Who wouldn't go on a bender after everything that happened?"
"Huh. Well, I guess that all makes sense."
"You slow today?"
"I guess."
"You need to eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"You need to sleep."
"Not tired."
"Eat or sleep… please, just pick one." Mission pleaded. "You're too skinny and I know you haven't really slept the entire trip."
Ash's shoulders slumped. "A nap wouldn't hurt, I guess. Get me in an hour and fifteen." She walked to the dorm and curled up on her bunk. Sleep came quickly, and with it… dreams….
"Jaq!" My voice was sharp and short.
"Yes, my lord?"
I shoved a datapad viciously across the table. "Your next target." I half-snarled. "I want to deal with him personally."
"Of course, my lord." He bowed out.
I sighed, slumping in my chair. I tilted my mask up so my mouth and chin were visible and took a deep drink from an amber bottle. "You're trying to save the galaxy, Revan." I said wearily, the mask sliding back in place. I hated the mask. "Remember that, and remember that you're the only one who can."
I felt fragile, like the spun glass that had once been made on Deralia. "For the good of the galaxy." I echoed hollowly. The world blurred like water.
I blinked, and realized I was cold. The metal of an environmental suit surrounded me, and I felt a bit panicky. I could see out of the visor, and the black water of the Hrakert Rift was not at all comforting. My heart was pounding a little too fast, fear a little too present.
I hate water, I thought darkly, as I advanced clumsily on the map, glowing in front of me. The star map was an all-too-welcome sight, an ending to my most unpleasant stay on Manaan. Those damn Selkath were so picky and uppity about their damn laws…