AN: I was reading back through this story and had to laugh aloud. In chapter (I think) 25 I said something about 'not too many more chapters.' What happened to that? I haven't added anything plot-wize to this story but I guess it just didn't seem much longer back then… It doesn't seem like there's much more now but maybe there's still ten chapters left… ten, wow that doesn't have a 'too many more' sound to it, does it?
Because there is no way I'll do the whole story in EPOV, I'll ask, is there a specific part in this story that anyone wants to read from his perspective? I don't mind writing out a few and just adding them in as extras after an authors note like I did before…
ANYWAY now that I've spoken mostly nonsense for two paragraphs I'll thank everyone who's still reading. ;) You're awesome, amazing and lots of other words that start with other letters. Thanks for reviews, for alerts and favorites as well.
Chapter Fourteen: Backlash (part three)
I wish I could say that my grin stayed in place for longer than those few seconds, I wish I could say that I was seeing Jake's ideals, his positive outlook on life; I wish I could but the second I turned back to the door I realized how wrong I'd been.
My hand quivered and I felt physically repelled from the chasm in the wall. But like last time Jacob wasn't one to pull back. He took my hand and tugged me inside; a grunt was all that showed his effort. Even with my heels panted on the linoleum I was no match.
And while I was being practically thrown and tackled into the elevator all I could see was James. His eyes poured into me, I felt raw, open, and sick. And I only felt worse when his mouth turned and twisted into that small half smirk that Edward had won me over with. I'll never know if Jake noticed the exchange.
"Ground floor?" James' asked. His voice was smooth; no inflection. I watched his mouth move with fascination. His left cheek was marred with a small gash that had been stitched up, likely, yesterday. There was something so off-putting about him that I could barely stand still. My body wanted nothing more now than to flee. When teachers had spoken about that fight or flee instinct I'd never realized how strong, how forceful, that feeling could be.
Jacob made a committal sound to the question.
So the three of us went down together without any more words, in a silence that was so loud I wanted to cover my ears. My heart thrummed as if to ward off the demons the quiet could conjure and I cowered behind my messy head of hair as best as I could.
When the door pinged again I wanted to scream in triumph. I was so happy to be out of the small enclosure. Jake led our procession still holding my hand. He held firmly; possessive.
"I think you dropped this, miss." I didn't want to turn around but there wasn't much else I could do. I was angry; I had thought I was free. I dropped Jacob's hold and spun my body around. James held a small ring out to me with his index and thumb.
"Not mine." I shook my head as I said this.
"Are you sure? Take a closer look."
I didn't move but I did sense Jacob take a step closer toward where, I assumed, the cafeteria was.
"No, sorry; not mine." I repeated turning away. I could see the edges of the reception desk just down the hall. We walked toward it and it took all my self restraint not to simply run.
I could hear James' footsteps behind us, following us. So much like a horror movie; the killer stalks his prey.
The cafeteria turned out to be just left of the reception desk. The tables were scattered about, they looked like the cheap plastic kind that many mall cafeterias used; chipped in many places from age and usage. A recession in the wall held fridges. There was a counter that lined the far wall and another that sliced the small area in half. A lone worker was preparing a sandwich on the back counter oblivious to the people who had entered and the two that were already seated.
I noticed all the minuet details because the first step I took into view I had to look everywhere other than at the two dismal looking people who sat alone. It was weird that I classified them alone when they were obviously together but something about their presence spoke volumes.
Jake continued to walk straight over to the food but I had stopped. Edward's back was to me and something in the way his shoulders seemed to buckle told me he knew I was there. How he knew could be anyone's guess, maybe my footsteps sounded familiar, who knows? Alice on the other hand stared up at me, her eyes were red and in all truth she looked worse than Sam, Emily, Jake and I put together. I couldn't image her pain, I didn't want to either.
"You should keep it anyway," the voice from behind startled me proper. And when his hand touched mine I shuddered. He chuckled deep but quiet, his breath eerily penetrating my skin. He enclosed the metal into my hand and forced it into a fist so I wouldn't drop the bauble.
"I'll see you soon," he finished before he walked over to the table where his 'side' sat. I blinked as Alice stared at me. Her eyebrows lowered and she surveyed me with intense interest; too much interest for someone that should be more worried about her boyfriend.
I started walking after Jake, shoving the ring in a garbage can before reaching him. I didn't care if James saw; I didn't care if he knew.
He'd wanted to creep me out, he wanted a reaction and, of course, he got one.
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Jake held the bagels for Sam and Emily, a sandwich for himself and a can of Coke. I followed him with two bottles of Sprite and one of lemonade. I wasn't hungry enough for food; a drink was all I wanted. Jacob took a table a few down from the others letting the food and drinks fall onto the plastic table nonchalantly.
I knew we weren't going to go back up. I knew it even before he'd started walking further away from any salvation because he'd proved he wasn't the kind of guy to shy away from conflict.
I sat so my back was facing the other table. Unfortunately this meant I could feel Edward's eyes on me. I didn't look at Jacob who sat across from me, worried the guilt would be written clearly on the surface. I drank from the bottle habitually when listening to the quiet chewing. It had to have been the longest meal I'd ever eaten, if you could call what I was doing eating a meal, I guess.
"You look awful, like a day from now I'll be uncovering your corpse."
I didn't say anything; leave it to Jake to say something completely wrong for the moment. He seemed to sense he'd said something stupid and remained quiet a long while after this.
I listened as he took a long gulp from his can. "So he loves you. That's obvious; what do you feel for him?"
I coughed on the mouthful of lemonade I'd half swallowed. Looking up at my friend I noted how his eyes were shielded and opaque. He met mine determinedly. "What?" I croaked.
"Well the way he's looking at you."
Like that explained everything. "What?" I repeated at a loss.
"Edward Cullen is looking at you," he finally explained or at least sort of explained.
"Oh." It wasn't an inquisitive 'oh' like some people might use in a moment like this. No, this 'oh' was just sad.
"I guess it all makes sense now. I was just being slow." He shrugged; his face too smooth to read. Was he angry? "How Emmett said you didn't seem interested in anyone and you telling me you were 'with' someone. Why you didn't tell me anything about him, not even his name, when we'd spoken about him twice. I guess I didn't put too much thought into it until now… So he's obviously smitten with you…"
He was speaking too low for any of the others to hear but I wanted to tape his mouth shut. It wasn't like he'd know that Edward had told me himself that he was smitten, of course not, but it felt like be was mocking me by using the word now.
I bit my tongue instead, "and how about you?"
"I-" but what was I? What was I now? Did I still love him, of course I did. Did I still want him; it might be strange to admit that yes I did. But did we have a future? No, not if I kept hiding it from anyone I cared about. "Yes," I admitted conviction in my voice, "I love him." It was so simple; I smiled to myself. Jake was the first person I'd told, it was a bite in my side that Edward hadn't been the first, but what could I do now?
"Hmm," he mulled. "And somehow just thinking about him makes you smile, a smile I haven't seen in a while, might I add." He was telling himself this coming to his own conclusion.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, we love who we love. At least he loves you back; at least he knows he loves you." I didn't know exactly what he meant so I remained hesitant. "And Emmett doesn't know of course." He gave me an all encompassing once over, "No, of course he doesn't."
"I'm going to tell him," I rushed because right now I knew that was true. It had felt, well, the opposite of how James made me feel to finally reveal my secrets.
"Of course you will," Why this was an 'of course' I'll never know.
"I will," I reassured myself smiling despite everything.
"Let's go back upstairs?" Jake offered leaving the clear wrap that had housed his sandwich on the table and taking the bagels and the bottles for Sam and Emily in an easy sweep. I took the last sip from my own drink and left it on the table like Jake. It wasn't that I condoned leaving a mess I just didn't seem to care about garbage. No, my head was swirling.
Jacob walked around and past me, now, in a hurry to get out of the room. I chanced a glance at Edward; I'd missed his face and was feeling my path was cemented.
James' and Alice's backs were to me which was a relief.
And then he met me halfway, his green eyes dazzling from beneath his eyelashes. Even from this distance the details of his face were clear. Was that because I was so attuned to him or was it just him as a person? Edward's face was hard; his eyes were harder, so familiar. It was like we were reliving our past mistakes. I tried my best to soften my own eyes, melting as I did so; we had the kind of connection that breached the space.
I bit my finger nail in thought as I watched him; worry that we'd be uncovered all but forgotten.
And I smiled; my face couldn't stop the muscles from flexing. I imagined I looked like the beaming, in love fool that I was.
Edward, bless him, looked confused while his face relaxed.
"Bella," Jake called ruining my peace. I suppose I'm proven that peace didn't last in my life. I remained locked on Edward for just a bit longer before leaving the cafeteria behind.
It was time to face the firing squad but it didn't faze me that Emmett and Charlie wouldn't be on board anymore. Letting others in had a soothing quality.
AN: So I don't know why Jake acted how he did, whenever he comes up I let my fingers write all on their own. No, Jacob will not end up with Bella in this story. I'm not a huge fan of him though I think he gets a hard time in fanfictions… That's all, now I'm going to fall into bed and sleep and sleep and work and then sleep again.