Chapter 34 Unwelcome Return (Renesmee POV)
I watched as Bella and Edward walked away leaving me in a strange house with people I barely knew. I didn't know what they expected of me how to behave. So I stood frozen looking out the window.
I startled slightly as Esme knelt next to me she had always been nice to me in the past yet others were always there then. Now that we were alone I wasn't sure whether that would be the same. "They will be quick honey. It's just a really important meeting for Bella but is nothing for you to worry about." She told me kindly. I wasn't really sure why Bella's meeting was so important but I guess she had a life and I wasn't really a part of it just an intrusion on her life. "Why don't we go bake some chocolate chip cookies I know both Bella and Edward really like them and it will be a really nice surprise for them." She continued with a small smile taking my hand and leading me into the kitchen.
Nodding my head I agreed and allowed myself to follow her. Esme had me sit on a stool near a counter whilst she got bowls and different ingredients out to use. I had enjoyed baking with Bella over the weekend. Did everyone in this family constantly bake? I didn't really know but it seemed weird somehow. What did I really know about a normal family? Carlisle followed us and perched on the counter top near the cooker Esme hit his leg but he just laughed and pulled her to him for a kiss and hug. A hit normally means that someone is angry yet Esme didn't really seem it even though Carlisle was doing something wrong.
"You ok Renesmee?" Carlisle asked looking over at me.
"Yes" I mumbled even though I was feeling a little confused.
"Right then let's get baking I can't wait to have a warm cookie with a scope of ice cream on the top" He told me licking his lips and clapping his hands. He was almost looking and behaving like a little kid.
Esme then banned Carlisle from the kitchen stating there was no way we'd get the cookies baked because he'd end up eating all the chocolate chips. He winked at me before leaving making me promise to come and fetch him as soon as the cookies we're out the oven so he could eat them warm. I nodded readily agreeing. I soon realised that Bella and Esme had very similar styles when they were in the kitchen they were almost identical. She caught me watching her and smiled "What is it Renesmee?" She asked. I shook my head not wanting to sound rude. "Renesmee know that when you're here feel free to say what you are thinking." She told me with a small smile.
I'd been told that before but then punished for saying my thoughts out loud. I hesitated unsure of what to do I hadn't been thinking anything nasty I just didn't know what she would say. In the end I decided to say it anyway "You and Bella, you both do very similar things in the kitchen…" I mumbled before stopping unsure of how to finish what I was saying.
Esme smiled "I never really thought about it but I guess yes were very alike. We both enjoy being in the kitchen and cooking. I guess because we've spent so much time together cooking that we've rubbed off on one another. I hope that's not a bad thing?" She asked with a smile. I shook my head furiously I didn't want her to think that all. "Oh I know that's not what you think I'm glad you talked to me telling me what you think." She finished.
We finished the cookies putting them in the oven before cleaning the kitchen and letting them bake. Esme gave me some coloring in the living room where Carlisle sat reading the paper. I looked at the things noticing that they were Jessica's I hoped she didn't mind me using her things.
By the time I had finished coloring a picture the cookies were ready. So Carlisle and I watched as Esme took them out of the oven and placed them on a cooling rack. Carlisle jumped up and grabbed a couple of bowls and the ice cream. He then put a cookie in each before adding a scope of ice cream on the top. Surprisingly he gave me a bowl before taking one for himself I thought the other bowl was for Esme not me.
I glanced at Esme to make sure it's for me she smiled at me nodding her head telling me to go ahead and eat. I'd never eaten anything like it before it was absolutely delicious and I ate everything in the bowl. Once finished I took my bowl to the sink. "Thank you Renesmee just leave the bowl I'll put it in the dishwasher later." Esme told me.
"Thank you for the cookie and ice cream." I murmured with a yawn.
"You're more than welcome, now it looks like you've had a busy day at school, so how about we curl up on the sofa with a movie." Carlisle told me.
I hadn't watched so much TV in my whole life as I had this last couple of days. I was always told how wrong it was and that I wasn't good for me yet if the doctors didn't see it as a bad thing then I wasn't going to argue. I barely saw the start of the film before I felt my eyes close feeling relatively safe I decided not to fight it and fell asleep.
The next thing I know I felt arms pick me up I tensed and opened my eyes looking up to see Edward smiling down at me "It's ok Renesmee I'm just carrying you to the car, then we'll take you home and get you in bed." He told me.
I looked round and saw Bella stood talking to Esme she gave me a small smile before hugging Carlisle and Esme and following us to the car. When we got back home Bella helped me to get ready for bed tucking me in securely and kissing my forehead wishing me good night. As I drifted off to sleep all I knew for certain was that I could easily get used to being looked after and I really didn't want to go back to my life where no one cared about me.
Bella woke me the next morning and let me have a shower I'd never had one before but really liked it more than being in the bath. She then helped me to get dressed and then braided my hair whilst it was still wet telling me that it will have nice waves later when I take it out. I liked my hair that way because it looked clean and tidy and I didn't have any of it getting in my way. We then headed down for breakfast where Edward had put cereal and toast out. We ate quickly and I just enjoyed the piece of the morning not having any hassle. At the bottom of my stomach I had this sinking feeling as if none of this was ever my life it was just a break before I have to go back and live in reality.
"Renesmee you ok huni?" Bella asked looking over at me with a small smile. I nodded my head taking another mouthful of cereal what was I gonna say to them, that I felt like this was just a dream and eventually my life will just hit me full in the face. "Are you sure? You seem a little unhappy this morning." Bella said giving me a little worried look.
I sighed taking a deep breath "mmhhm yes I'm ok." I mumbled not meeting their eyes.
"Renesmee I know this must still be incredibly strange for you and you're bound to feel lost and unsure that this is all a dream. I know I can't promise you anything or what will happen next. However I can promise that whilst you're here you have nothing to be afraid of." Bella told me coming round to wrap me in a hug. I let her pull me to her and sank into her embrace.
"Doesn't mean anything. I'm always scared. This won't last forever." I mumbled not expecting her to here.
"Why are you always scared?" Bella asked standing up and sitting us in the chair me on her lap.
Everything, nothing I didn't really know anymore "Urm nothing." I whispered knowing that she wouldn't believe me.
She hugged me to her even more before saying calmly "You know when I was little a very bad man, who wasn't very nice, scared me." My head shot up and I stared at her, she was so strong how she could have anyone hurt her was beyond me. If people hurt her then someone as weak as me didn't stand a chance. "What I'm trying to say is that you're not alone and I know how scared you must feel right now. I want you to know that we care about you and you can come to me about anything you have done nothing wrong." She finished kissing my cheek.
I jumped off her knee and she let me go I turned and looked at them "I'm always naughty. I have never been a good girl not since when I was a baby when they told me I wasn't wanted." I told them before shrugging and leaving the room to go and get my shoes and bag.
I sat in the hall and I could hear Bella and Edward whispering I guess they were deciding I was too much trouble as well. I looked up as Edward knelt and finished tying my laces "I want you to know that we want you, and you haven't caused any trouble. The people to blame are the ones who haven't taken care of you before. They should never have said you don't belong. Everyone has a place to belong and I know that you will find yours somehow." Edward told me. I stared at him with wide eyes no one had ever told me they wanted me. I was always seen as a mistake before. Being told that they want me was definitely a strange feeling.
"Ok well let's get going to school then tonight we'll cook dinner and curl up with a good book together. How does that sound?" Bella asked pulling on her coat.
"I'd like that thank you." I told her jumping up and moving to hold her hand she gave it a reassuring squeeze then leading me to the car.
My day zoomed by and I immersed myself in the work Bella set. I had a little trouble trying to distinguish her as the teacher from who she was at home. At the end of the day I sat playing with some of the toys whilst Bella did some marking. The school was so quiet it was strange. I watched Bella work and noticed that she kept on glancing at the door. I wonder if she was thinking about that man who we saw in the supermarket. He was scary and I knew him he seemed familiar to me my thoughts interrupted when Bella's phone rang. She answered it straight away and I noticed that she was becoming more and more worried she looked up at me and gave me a small smile before finishing her conversation and turning to face me.
"Renesmee that was Laura she wants to come over tonight and talk to you, us about your mum." She told me.
I froze knowing that this was not going to end well for me. "Have I got to go home?" I asked deciding I'd rather know now that way I could get used to my life again.
Bella came over to me "I honestly don't know sweetheart. We will just have to wait and see what Laura says but I want you to try to be honest with her and tell her what you want." She told me with a smile.
"No one has ever listened before so why should they now." I said a little angrier than I intended.
She sighed but didn't say anything to me I guess she thought I had a point. So we collected our things and made our way back to Bella's house. We got there before Laura did I kicked off my shoes and hung up my coat then made my way to the kitchen sitting on a stool I rested my head in my hands and closed my eyes wishing I was anywhere but here. I felt Bella rest a hand on my back and rub comforting circles on my back. I hated to admit it but she made me feel a little better.
"Feel a little better?" Bella asked as I raised my head out of my hands.
I shrugged my shoulders "A little" I told her.
"That's good, right let's get started on cooking dinner together. We had plans for tonight and those don't change." She told me with a smile and a wink.
"But what about…" I tried to ask but Bella stopped me.
"No buts, when Laura gets here we can sit and chat. If dinner is ready then she can join us. We have a book to read together." She told me.
I nodded my head agreeing glad that we were still doing what Bella had said this morning. Bella put some chicken and spices to cook in the oven then I helped her to peel some potatoes. She showed me how to slice them really thinly we were going to fry them in Garlic to go with the chicken. When we put the frying pan on the heat Bella let me help her cook. I'd never used a cooker before but was a little scared. Bella stood behind me the time and made sure I was safe. I never felt more cared for in my whole life.
Ten minutes later we heard the door go and I jumped in my skin tensing up and looking up worriedly at Bella she smiled comfortingly at me "try not to worry. We will help in any way we can." Bella told me as Edward and Laura walked into the kitchen.
"Hi, I bumped into Laura on the drive way." Edward told us going over to kiss me Bella and smile at me ruffling my hair. I giggled at him giving me a smile.
"Hello Laura, dinner is just about ready would you like to join us?" Bella asked pulling plates from a cupboard.
"No thank you Bella. I have another meeting to get to, can we sit down?" She asked motioning to the stools.
Bella took my hand and pulled me towards a stool helping me sit and stood behind me resting her hands on my shoulders. I leaned back into her needing her there next to me. Edward sat next to me. I felt surrounded.
"Renesmee I've talked to your mom over the last two days. She disappeared because she went in search of your father. He has agreed to come back to live in Forks with her. That means she feels like she can take care of you better at home and wants you to go home to her." Laura told me with a gentle smile.
I sat there stunned I didn't know what to do. I've never met my Dad before and I don't know what he was like. All I know is that nothing will change. She will still hate me and think I don't belong with her or anywhere else. Having my father there won't change anything. "When?" I finally asked as Bella squeezed my shoulders.
"What do you mean?" Laura said not understanding what I meant. She obviously hadn't listened to me.
I stared at her I really didn't like her, she obviously didn't see me as having a say so what was the point in saying anything at all. "Renesmee was asking WHEN she has to go back to live with her Mom?" Edward told her saying the when a little louder than the rest of the sentence.
"I believe that she needs to go home as soon as possible so I'm recommending a home visit tomorrow after school and of that goes well then she can go home on Wednesday." Laura told me.
"That's so soon? Surely things need to move a little slower?" Bella asked I could tell by her voice that she wasn't very happy.
"Bella Renesmee has only been with you for a few days. It's our belief that her Mom just needed a break but that now she has support from Renesmee's Dad that things will be easier for her." She told Bella as if that explained everything.
"Has anybody thought about Renesmee in this? What is best for her?" Edward asked his voice a little angry to.
"Being at home is what is best for Renesmee." She said. I could feel myself shaking, she didn't know anything about my life and what is likely to happen. Bella was wrong no one will listen to me. "I think if Renesmee's Mom and Dad come here say 4.30pm I'll be here as well and we can take it from there." She told us then stood pulling on her coat.
I guess that settles things then without my thoughts and feelings ever being taken into consideration. Bella and Edward tried to engage me in conversation but I figured the sooner I got used to being on my own the better I would be. I ate my dinner then sat in the living room where Bella read a book to me about a boy wizard who went away to school. I wished I could be that boy and just run away. I fell asleep listening to Bella's voice and prying that I got to stay right where I was.