I hope everyone had a lovely weekend, here are another two chapters!

Disclaimer: Nothing but the original characters belong to me. All songs quoted through-out the story are owned by their respective artists.

Rating: M-ish, overall (for violence, mild language, maybe some sexual innuendo in later chapters, but there will be absolutely NO smut!)

Thank you to all who have reviewed so far!

~o~

Chapter 36: The Hard Truth

"I'm really glad you could make it Buffy," Willow said enthusiastically, as the two women walked into the magic shop, "I feel like we haven't really had time to talk the past couple weeks."

Buffy smiled at Willow, "I know, I've been kind of a recluse... but I finally got out of that stupid sling, and I'm gonna take my life back... oh God are those beaks?" she asked studying a row of small jars lining a shelf.

Willow nodded, but she knew Buffy better than that. She was sure the real reason Buffy had made herself scarce the past couple of weeks was because she was dealing with the knowledge that Angel was leaving again, and it was taking its toll on her emotionally. She'd seen Buffy jump into battle with serious injuries, it had never seemed to hinder her before; it was probably just an excuse to not have to spend so much time in his presence. "Well, it's good timing, because I should be ready for this spell by the end of the week." she said, picking up a small vial of liquid from a rack then continuing further through the rows of shelves.

Buffy nodded in response, and continued to peruse the strange containers silently. Willow frowned.

"Oh Buffy," She sighed, "It's been almost twenty years and it hasn't changed a bit..."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, puzzled.

"You have Angel-face."

It was Buffy's turn to frown, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Whenever something happens with Angel, you always get the same expression, I'd recognize it from a mile away." she explained gently.

Buffy sighed as she fingered a small Rune she picked out of a basket, "Am I that transparent?" she asked sheepishly.

"Only to me." Willow smiled, "So what is it?"

She chewed her lip, "I don't know... I mean, I get it... why he's leaving... I want to know the truth too, you know?"

"Of course! After everything you two have been through, who deserves a chance to be together more than you?"

Buffy blushed, "I'm just worried I guess."

"About what?"

"Well, what if I'm getting my hopes up for nothing? Or what if the Romani hurt him? They don't seem to be the most forgiving people..."

"That's a justifiable concern." Willow muttered thoughtfully.

"It's just hard... seeing him all the time, knowing that he'll be gone soon. Waiting is always the worst part." Buffy sighed.

Willow smiled sadly at her friend. Nothing seemed to come to her easily when Angel was involved, she couldn't imagine how heartbreaking it must be to have to constantly fight back feelings for someone you're so evidently in love with. "You just have to stay positive, I'm sure everything will work out."

"I just have so many questions... and I'm afraid of the answers."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for one, what happens if the Gypsy did lie?" Buffy asked apprehensively.

Willow scowled, "You mean, what does Angel plan on doing?"

"Exactly."

Willow's frown remained, as she took Buffy's hand, "Buffy, I know you and Angel like to skirt around the issue a lot, but you can only really get an answer to that question from him."

"I know, Will." Buffy sighed, "I think part of me may just be afraid of what that answer might be."

~o~

Buffy walked slowly towards the cemetery, her palms sweaty, and her heart racing. With every step she felt more and more like turning and running back in the opposite direction. It was her first night back on patrol, and she was determined to have Angel answer all her questions... however it was taking its toll on her nerves. As she approached the gate to find him standing there waiting, her stomach began to somersault; she couldn't do it, it was too stressful! She should be treasuring these last few weeks with Angel, shouldn't she? Not grilling him in order to ease her mind. Besides, ignorance was bliss, right? She sighed heavily, and quickened her pace, she couldn't put it off any longer, if she didn't find out now she would be kicking herself when Angel did eventually leave.

"Hi." she greeted him, smiling widely once she reached the gates.

"Hi." he answered, smiling back, clearly relieved that she'd made a full recovery in such a short time.

They fell into pace beside each other, but didn't say another word. The silence was palpable between them, it was as if they both already knew what needed to be said, but neither wanted to be the one to bring it up. Buffy scanned the cemetery, chewing her bottom lip nervously, as Angel continued to walk beside her, his head down as though he were intently studying the ground beneath his feet.

"So, um, how's Willow coming along with the spell?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Good! I think... she said it should only be about a week now..." Buffy replied eagerly, thankful for something to distract them from the unbearable silence.

"Good." Angel nodded.

Buffy's forced smile faded away as she mustered the courage to continue the conversation, "So... I guess that means you'll be leaving soon." she muttered.

Angel's expression quickly changed to match the one Buffy wore. He knew she would eventually bring this up again, but he was hoping it would wait until after the potential crisis was averted, "Yeah." He answered simply, he knew Buffy well enough to know there was no way to really soften the blow.

She nodded somberly, and cast her eyes to the ground, it was now or never; "Angel?" she began quietly.

"Yes?"

"I, um... I was just wondering..." she trailed off, unsure of how to broach the topic.

"About what?" he urged her gently, even though he wasn't sure he wanted her to finish the question.

"Well, if you find out the clause is still intact... if it turns out that she was lying – the gypsy, I mean – wh-what are you going to do?" Buffy held her breath as she waited in agony for Angel's response.

He sighed heavily. He dreaded having this conversation with her, he knew there was no way she would take it well. "Actually, I... I was thinking of maybe staying in England. I'm sure they could use my help at the Council since you're here now, and..." he trailed off once he looked up from the ground to see the look of pure heartbreak painted on Buffy's face.

"You... you're not gonna come back?" she whispered.

"No." he answered simply.

Buffy felt sick. After everything they'd been through; after being thrown into these bodies, in this new town, having to practically re-live their painful past, he was just going to run away. "Were you even going to tell me?" she asked, her devastation beginning to boil into rage.

"No." Angel sighed, "I was hoping you wouldn't bring it up."

Red flashed before Buffy's eyes, "So, you were just going to skip town, leaving me to hope that we were getting another chance, but secretly, you were maybe never going to come back?"

"Buffy, please don't say it like that." Angel begged calmly, the last thing he wanted after everything she'd gone through the past few weeks was to distract her before a big battle.

"Yeah, doesn't sound very noble when you say it out loud now does it?" she spat.

"Don't. Please. I thought you would understand."

"Is this some sort of 'give me a chance at a normal life' sacrificial bullshit you're pulling again? Because honestly Angel, if you're still thinking a normal life is in the cards for me I think you should get your head checked out." she fumed.

"You know that's not at all what it is. Be reasonable Buffy, you're acting like a teenager." Angel grumbled.

"Hello, look at me! I am a teenager!" she shouted, "Sort of..." she muttered under her breath.

Angel simply ran a hand through his hair in exasperation and turned away from her to collect himself.

Buffy took a deep, calming breath, "So what is it then? You think after twenty years of us walking on eggshells around each other we'll suddenly be unable to restrain ourselves?"

"God, Buffy..." Angel sighed in frustration, "Do you think this was an easy decision for me to come to? Do you think I want things to turn out that way? Because I don't. I just don't think I'd be able to be around you anymore... not after feeling like we were so close to having what we wanted again..." he explained, fighting the whole time to appear calm and rational, when underneath the surface his emotions were raging wildly, "You can't tell me, in all honesty, that it would be easy for you either."

Buffy cast her eyes towards the ground. She knew he was right, she had just been praying so hard that he would come back with good news that she hadn't really stopped to think what it would be like if he came back and nothing had changed. It would be devastating. Unfortunately, at the moment it was not as devastating as the thought of potentially never seeing Angel again. "Maybe we should split up for the rest of the night... cover more ground..." she muttered still gazing at her feet.

She heard Angel exhale a sharp, unnecessary breath, "Alright. Fine." He brushed past her quickly and stalked back towards the street as Buffy remained rooted in place. She groaned, and dug the toe of her sneaker angrily into the ground. She almost wished this Hellmouth would open and swallow her whole on the spot, it couldn't possibly be more torturous than how she was feeling right now.

~o~

"Oh, Buffy, I don't think you were out of line at all!" Lily soothed, rubbing her friend's back comfortingly as they sat on her bed. Buffy had shown up at her front door earlier that evening, clearly distraught, but still refusing to cry. She'd gone by Willow's but there was no one home, she could only assume she was at the bookstore with Giles, continuing to prepare the spell, and as much as Buffy felt more comfortable discussing all things Angel with her, she didn't really think Giles would be interested in yet more of their trials and tribulations. She decided Lily was the next best thing. She may have an unnecessarily optimistic outlook when it came to Buffy and Angel's relationship, but at least she'd be supportive.

"No... I really was... he's just trying to deal, you know, and I just blasted him..."

"But he should have told you! I mean that's not fair! To leave you here waiting, hoping, and then he just never comes..." she trailed off as she saw Buffy's frown become more pronounced.

"That's just Angel for you. He thinks he knows best... usually he does know best... And it does make sense. I just... I just wish it didn't, you know?" Buffy replied softly.

"No! It doesn't! You two should be together! Curse or no curse, you can work something out! ... Can't you?" Lily asked hopefully.

"I don't know Lil. It just gets so complicated... ." She trailed off, "No, he is right, if the curse is still there we really shouldn't be together." Buffy admitted sorrowfully. As much as she hated to admit it, the last thing either of them needed was to be in each others presence, constantly a reminder of what they could never have. It would be better for not only both of them, but for the whole world if they stayed apart, fought the battle separately.

Lily frowned. She didn't like the thought of Buffy or Angel having to suffer for the rest of their lives. And believe it or not, she'd actually grown fond of the vampire, and didn't like the thought of him no longer being around. She wished silently that she knew more about their situation, so that she could think of something proper to say. "Don't give up yet Buffy, you don't even know if all this worrying is for nothing." she offered meekly.

"I know... it's still just hard to hear." Buffy sighed, "You know, I don't want to talk about it anymore!" she mustered up the most convincing smile she could under the circumstances, "So... how are things with Olly?" she asked, a devilish glint in her eye.

"Huh? Wh-what? I... I-I don't know what you're talking about!" Lily stammered.

"Come on Lil... I'm not blind. I've been noticing... things."

Lily's face turned a dark shade of crimson, "There's nothing to tell... I don't think he's interested."

"Please, he's definitely interested."

"You think?" she asked hopefully.

"I do... don't worry, once the apocalypse is averted I'll play a little matchmaker for you." Buffy joked.

"No! You wouldn't!" Lily squealed.

The girls fell into a fit of giggles, and Buffy was sure she'd made the right choice in looking for a distraction from her sorrows.

~o~

The following evening everyone gathered at the bookstore to continue their preparations. There was still no sign of Dustin, or of the mysterious Gypsy, but all were well aware that it was better to not be caught off guard. The mood was tense, though Buffy had only spoke to Lily about what had occurred between her and Angel in the graveyard the night before, the friction between the two of them was obvious to the others. Since he had walked in, Buffy had barely looked up from her seat beside Willow, where she sat dutifully crushing herbs with a large mortar and pestle, and Angel had immediately busied himself preparing weapons alongside Spike, and an eager-to-learn Olly. Willow nudged Buffy's arm softly, and shot her a pointed look of confusion, which Buffy dismissed reluctantly. Wanting to get away from everyone's prying eyes, as soon as she was done, she carefully poured the ground herbs back into a vial, and retreated to Giles' office, where he was holed up cross-referencing some last minute things. Angel watched her disappear towards the back of the shop with a discouraged look on his face.

"Alright, what did you do?" Olly whispered.

"Nothing." Angel hissed.

"Yeah. Right. Nothin'... The only time Buffy's ever in a foul mood, it's your fault." Spike chuckled.

"I didn't do anything. Alright? Drop it..."

Spike held up his hands in mock surrender.

Angel sighed, "I'm going to go see if Giles needs help."

"Yeah, sure you are." Spike drawled.

Angel chose to ignore Spike's last comment, and climbed the short set of steps up to Giles' office. As he neared he could begin to hear bits of their conversation:

"Really? Nothing? Cause I'm good at the reading stuff now Giles, remember?" Buffy said.

"I'm sure Buffy, you should go be with your friends."

"And what are you, chopped liver? You're of the friend variety too..."

Giles smirked slightly, "Buffy- yes, Angel?" he asked, looking past Buffy to Angel who was standing in the door frame. Buffy's face immediately fell, and she crossed her arms across her chest defensively. She didn't turn to look at him, an action that was not lost on Giles.

Angel glanced briefly at the back of Buffy's head, before returning his attention to Giles, "I, um, I thought I would ask you if there's anything you'd like me to bring back to the Council for you... I was thinking of passing through London..."

Giles nodded pensively, "Yes, I could probably send a few volumes back their way... I'll get a few things together for you, thank you."

"Alright, I'll let you know when I'm leaving." Angel replied, before casting one last glance at Buffy, and slipping away.

As soon as she was sure he was gone, Buffy sighed heavily, "So? Book stuff?"

Giles cleared his throat, and removed his glasses to rub his eyes, "You know Buffy, though you may not like me saying this... Angel has never done anything without your best interests in mind."

Looking embarrassed, Buffy fell into the chair opposite Giles' desk, "I know Giles... it's just -"

She was cut off by the sound of shattering glass, and Lily shrieking in horror. She and Giles immediately flew out of their seats, ran towards the front of the shop. Once arriving at the top of the steps, they discovered the storefront window shattered, and what looked like a dismembered human hand laying in the middle of the floor. The others all stood behind the table, paralyzed by shock. Olly quickly rushed to Lily's side and pulled her into his arms protectively, turning her away from the grim scene, but no one else moved. Finally, Spike crept towards the hand, his shoes crunching over the broken bits of glass as he peered at the appendage intently. Once he was beside it, he bent down, and picked it up gingerly. It wasn't evident until Spike's own hand closed around it, but it was far too large to be from a human being; it was also far too grey, and far to cold.

"It's stone." he announced in confusion.

Buffy descended the steps, and approaching Spike, took the hand from him. Turning it over so the palm faced upwards, she discovered a message painted across it.

"'Tomorrow night'" she read, holding up the hand for the others to see.

"What does that mean?" Willow asked.

Buffy looked back down at the hand; its long elegant fingers outstretched, and she realized she knew where it had come from.

"It means you better have your spell ready Will; they're opening the Hellmouth tomorrow night."

"The old devils are at it again,
Who knows what they'll do
And it's true right now like it was back then,
The old devils are at it again
From behind these bars the view don't change,
Desperation death and despair
From what little I hear of the outside world,
Well its not to different out there
And they tell me there's a war without no end,
The old devils are at it again
They die by the millions,
Children women and men
The old devils are at it again."
- "Old Devils" by William Elliot Whitmore

~o~

I don't really have much to say about this chapter, I think overall it's pretty straightforward... but you DO get an epic battle in the next chapter! Or, as epic as I was able to write it... which hopefully is epic enough.

Completely unrelated, I only found out about the artist I quote at the end of this chapter, William Elliot Whitmore, a few weeks ago, a friend brought one of his cd's into work and I was instantly obsessed! Lyrically I think he's genius, and the music makes me want to become an outlaw in the Old West... hahaha... Anyway, I hadn't found a quote for this chapter yet, and thought this was perfect!

reviews are greatly appreciated!