It had been quite some time from when I last looked like this.
I recalled the day when I had taunted one of the seniors at school, flirted outrageously with him, before skipping off and giving him nothing. They'd waited for me when I had gone to have a smoke and it was out of stubbornness and fear that I didn't go to see the nurse after.
They had tried to avoid leaving any visible marks but a swift kick to my jaw had led to some very obvious bruising that was hard to lie away. Not that it mattered, no one ever asked.
My reflection looked like something broken. I reached up to touch my cheek to check that it was definitely me I was staring at and I felt along the dark purple shading around my eye. I couldn't tell if my head was pounding from a hangover or whether it was because of how hard I hit my head.
I'd read somewhere that you shouldn't sleep after concussion but that was rather useless information now. I flinched when I heard Ivo's footsteps along the hall. Should I pretend to be asleep? It seemed like the best option, just to play it by ear and hope for the best.
I clambered back into the bed as quietly as possible and pulled the covers over myself, my heart thrumming like mad when he pushed open the door.
"Tim," he half whispered. "Are you awake?"
I went through all the theatrics of waking up, yawning and stretching. I gave him the most convincing smile I could and winced from stretching the muscles.
Ivo froze, breakfast tray in his arms.
"How are you feeling?"
He was being cautious, testing the water.
"Head hurts," I laughed and he gave a slight smile, he looked out of his depth.
"What's the occasion," I asked casually with a nod towards the tray.
"Nothing," he replied slowly. "Thought you would be feeling rough."
My heart continued to pound in my chest but I gave a nonchalant smile at him. He watched me warily. Could he tell?
"Tim," he started but stopped, his mouth opening and closing. His shoulders drooped and he sighed.
"Do you remember any of last night?"
Oh God.
"Emm," I laughed nervously. "Only vaguely," I replied, sounding very convincing. I'd told my fair share of lies to have an expertise in it.
Moving to set the tray beside me he pressed me further.
"Do you remember where you were and how you got home?"
It must have infuriated him that I took a while to reply.
"Yes, I got a taxi."
He nodded vacantly.
"Have you looked in the mirror?"
I missed a beat and he frowned slightly.
"No," I replied hastily, feigning a look of concern.
"Why, what's wrong," I asked him, getting up to look in the mirror beside the bed.
"Fuck," I gave a mock exclamation of shock. "Someone must have elbowed me at the club," I suggested, watching his reaction in the mirror. I was even beginning to convince myself. I would need to.
"Mmm."
He began to cut up the food he had made for breakfast on the plate. He had a strange habit of cutting my food for me. Perhaps he used to do it for Isabel.
Isabel. I'd forgotten about her recently. I wondered to myself if Ivo had ever hit her. It didn't seem likely but my mind still entertained the thought.
I was wary as I climbed back into the bed to sit next to him. He gave me a tentative smile and I smiled back at him before kissing him softly. He brought his hand up to hold my cheek and took control of the kiss, making it stronger and lingering.
"What's the plan for today," I asked cheerfully as he fed me eggs from the fork.
He pulled a piece of fluff from the blankets off the fork and scooped up some more egg for himself.
"We could go for lunch somewhere if you want, go to that bookstore you like."
Ivo moved closer to me then and kissed just below my jaw.
"Sounds good."
"Mmm," he hummed. His hand came up to stroke at my bruised cheekbone gently.
"Maybe we should get that looked at," he spoke softly.
"Yeah, maybe. I'm sure it's fine though," I said in a rush. "I think I'll get a shower, get cleaned up."
Ivo just nodded.
"Sure, okay."
He left then to go to his study and presumably mark some papers. I went to the bathroom, turned on the shower to mask the sound and then sat down to cry.