You know the drill, Minichapter if you review. :) Also I put a tiny sneak peak of Ch. 38 at the end of this chapter. I love you guys btw. All of your reviews are amazing.
Chapter 37
I looked out the window at the scenery passed us by on the way to my house. Alice had just pulled me away from Edward's side to make sure I got a shower and ate something. I could have cared less if I showered or ate. Then again I did have my babies to think about still. That was the only way Alice or Edward could get me to leave. I promised I'd be back later with Alexa but as I let my head rest against the window I decided I couldn't see him again today. I couldn't physically or mentally handle it again. I felt weak and sick. I was in a constant state of dizzy but kept my mouth shut. I wasn't going to freak Alice out for nothing. I knew I was probably just over-stressed.
"Bella, are you okay?" Alice broke the silence in the car. I didn't answer her but inside my head I was screaming at her. How could she ask me something like that? Of course I'm not okay! Edward's suffering because of my stupidity. "It's not your fault." She said as if she was reading my thoughts.
"I don't want to talk about it." I croaked out and wiped away at the lone tear that ran down my cheek.
"It would be good for you."
"I don't care, Alice. Just shut up." I snapped. I shut my eyes quickly wondering why I had just snapped at my best friend. This wasn't her fault. She was just trying to help me. "Oh Alice, I'm so sorry!" I opened my eyes.
"Don't worry about it, Bella. You've had a long day." She said giving me a sad smile. I just nod and turn my attention back towards the window.
Alice pulls up in my driveway but I can't seem to make myself move. I just want to sit there. I hear Alice talking to someone outside of the car but I'm not really paying attention. I don't even look up when the door opens. I can feel someone picking me up bridal style.
"Mom, I'm sorry." Masen whispered. He had been the one to pick me up and bring me into the house. My son gently laid me on the bed and pulled back the covers. "It's not your fault, none of it is." He says quietly. I just nod keeping my eyes closed the entire time. I'm not sure why I've kept them closed but I just can't seem to make myself open them. "Want something to eat?" I just shook my head.
"Bella, sit up. You are going to eat even if I have to shove this food down your throat." Alice threatened. I just sighed and let my eyes open. Masen looked as if he had been crying and Alice was standing in my doorway with a trey in her arms. I sit up and Alice places the trey on my lap. I start to pick at my grilled cheese sandwich. I just don't feel like eating but I pop a piece in my mouth hoping to satisfy the two people glaring me down right now. "You're going to finish your dinner then go take a shower. I'm taking the kids to my place, Charlie's staying here with you. Phil's going back to his hotel room and he's leaving for Jacksonville in the morning." Alice tells me. I just nod trying my hardest to listen.
"I love you, Ma." Masen leans down and kisses me on the cheek. I give him a sad smile before he leaves Alice and I alone.
"I'm going to keep them overnight if that's alright?" Alice asks sitting down on the bed next to me.
"Of course. I think I'm going to get up in the morning and go sit with Edward." I tell her. I knew I needed to go back and talk to him. I just wasn't sure if I could handle it again.
"Just swing by and pick them up after you leave the hospital?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Take care of yourself, Bella. Those babies are innocent in all of these. They need you to keep up your strength. If you can't do it for yourself do it for them." She pats my knee before standing up and leaving my room.
I push the trey to the side and climb out of bed. She's right, but when is Alice ever wrong? I walk into the bathroom and hop into the shower.
I'm not sure why but my entire body feels dirty. I start scrubbing roughly as my skin turns a bright red. I didn't care, I just wanted to get clean and if that's what it took then I'd scrub until my skin was coming off.
I still didn't feel clean when I stepped out of the shower but my body just couldn't handle anymore.
I climbed into my bed and pulled Edward's pillow close to me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Sleep overtook me quickly.
I bit down on my lower as I stood outside Edward's hospital room.
I had dragged my tired body out of bed two hours before. Charlie had offered to make me eggs and toast. I really tried to eat his food. Needless to say I ended up throwing those away and making my own.
Placing my hand on my full stomach I reached my other hand towards the door handle. I opened the door slowly. I peaked past it to see Edward's eyes closed. His face looked just as bad as it had yesterday but I knew I shouldn't have expected him to get much better in only a day.
"Bella?" He croaked out. He didn't look at me but kept his green eyes on the white ceiling.
"Hey." I breathed out walking slowly towards his bedside. "How are you feeling, baby?" I asked once I reached him. I reached my hand out to smooth back his unruly hair.
"Just as shitty as I look." He said with no emotion. I just nodded and sat down in the chair. "I thought you were coming back last night with Lex?" I realized that he was talking much better then yesterday.
"I wasn't feeling too well once I got home." I told him truthfully. I took my hand away from his hair and laid it on his hand. I squeezed it lightly.
"Have you eaten? Did you pass out again? Are you okay?" He finally looked at me with worry in his eyes. I sighed getting a closer look at his face. Instead of answering him I leaned over and kissed his lips. I loved him so much. Even though he was the one laying in the hospital bed possibly paralyzed he was still thinking about my health.
"I'm fine. I'm just worried about you." I whisper. Edward nods. I half expected him to turn his head back towards the ceiling but instead he held my gaze.
We sat there for the next five minutes in complete silence just looking at each other. It felt nice to be able to look into those beautiful eyes again.
"I'm going to walk again, Bella. I promise you I will." He broke the silence. I just nodded finally letting the tears I had been holding run down my cheeks. "And even if I don't I'll do my best to be enough for you and our kids. Please don't give up on me."
"Never." I shook my head leaning closer to him. He had to be insane to think that I'd give up on him.
"Mama!" Alexa cried when I walked in the front door of Alice's house half an hour after leaving the hospital. I had spent three hours just sitting there talking to Edward.
"Hey baby girl." I laughed leaning down and picking her up. I winced when I felt a sharp pain go through my back. I just shook my head and decided to ignore it.
Alice walked into the foyer where Alexa and I were.
"How is he?" She asked me.
"He's…going to make it." I tell her. Alice just nods leaving it at that.
"Thanks for watching her, Alice. I really appreciate it." I say to her. Alice smiles and tells me it was a pleasure watching Lex. I kissed the little girls rosy cheek happy that she was good for Alice. The three of us walked into the living room where Masen was spread out on the couch reading a book. He put his book down and gave me a smile.
"How's dad?" My heart flipped when he said that. I wasn't sure if he noticed it. Judging by the look on his face I suspected that it just came naturally to him.
"He's fine right now, but he really wants to see his kids so how about I take you two to see him." I smiled at him then Alexa. I knew she didn't understand any of this. I just hoped she wouldn't freak out when she saw Edward laying there in the bed all banged up.
We said our goodbyes to Alice before getting into my truck and driving towards the hospital. Alexa sat in the back dancing along to the music that was playing on the radio. I couldn't help but smile at her. I heard Masen chuckle beside me. I glanced over at him and saw that he was turned around in his seat slightly.
I loved those two kids with all of my heart. They were what was keeping me sane through all of this. They were the reasons I was smiling right now, and that was saying a lot. I felt like I'd never smile or be happy again but those two…they just put so much joy in my life and heart that it was difficult to not smile or laugh around them.
Sneak Peak of Ch. 38
"It's Daddy, Lex." I whispered in her ear. She turned her head towards me then and gave me a strange look. I wished I knew what was going on in that tiny head of hers right now.
"Dada?" She finally spoke with a broken voice. She looked as if she were about to cry. I looked over at Edward. He sighed and I knew he wished he could hold her and assure her that everything was alright. He didn't want her to be scared of him.
Masen stepped up and took Alexa from me. He walked closer to Edward and sat down on the sliver of the bed Edward wasn't occupying. Masen whispered something into Alexa's ear. Alexa reached her tiny hand out to touch Edwards.