A/N: Here it is! It's late, sorry, but I've been busy drawing on my Deviant Art account… check the homepage link on my bio if you have the time, and psssttt!… I LOVE comments just as much as I love reviews… ;o) Was THAT a nice hint or WHAT?! I'm proud of me. ;o) Now this stupid writer will shut up and let you read… I really hope you will enjoy this…

Oh, the first part of this story came to mind while answering a review by xanthos. This is why I love reviews, they make me think harder about the story and the characters…

Please not that I'm taking some liberty with the characters background-info and dates and such... just let me, ok?

Chapter thirty-seven: Long Night

Slade ran into Chang in the kitchen the day after the 'family' incident, and spoke to the man while keeping watch over a pissed off bird who were sulking over by the windows.

"Nice move yesterday. Thank you. Really." Slade said, voice dripping with malice.

"Sorry, sir. Wasn't thinking…"

"Obliviously."

"Well… -heh- should be easy to fix, though… it's clear the family-thing is a touchy subject with him… he probably feels lonely, cut off… I think he really longs for a family… why not give him that?" Chang ventured.

"Excuse me?"

"Suggest to him that the three of you really might become a family? –Heh- He might not react very well to it in the beginning, but let him warm up to the idea, and I'll think he will accept it… he will realize that it's that or nothing… Besides, it might be good for the pregnancy… Isn't it worth a try?" Chang dared to suggest.

"No. Absolutely not. For two reasons. Firstly, you know what my plans are for the child… how do you think Robin would react to that, if I make him believe in a 'happily ever after'? And secondly… he's a pet."

"So?"

"As in only a pet. Not a spouse, not an equal. Just a toy of mine."

"But you are fond of him, aren't you?" the professor pressed the subject, trying to figure Slade out.

The man chuckled and Chang felt himself shudder at the coldness of that laugh.

"Oh, yes. I quite like my little bird most of the time… he has his uses…"

"But no more than that?"

Slade turned his eye away from Robin distant form for a moment and pierced Chang with a steel gaze.

"No more than that." he assured.

Chang hastily excused himself and went back to the relative safety of his lab. He really believed that Slade had deeper feelings for the boy… he had thought he had glimpsed changes in the man, and yes, Slade had changed somewhat in the way he acted around Robin, but… Chang considered it for a moment. No… it was strategic changes, not emotional. It was easy to mistake them as such, though… Maybe that's why Slade had been so upset about his testosterone levels, because those actions made it seemed like he cared? Chang shook his head. Maybe Slade's icy heart was as deep-frozen as ever. Maybe Robin was lucky, because perhaps, if Slade really cared, he would have demanded that Robin cared about him in turn, and that… that might turn ugly…

It took several days before random objects stopped flying through the air and Robin finally calmed down enough to accept that his body really was changing. During those days he blankly refused being touched, unless ordered, and also avoided mirrors even more than usual. Being forced to shower, he did so quickly and only barely soaped the more necessary places. Starfire got her hands slapped more than once as she wanted to feel the growing stomach. Robin ended up snarling at everybody, and the situation was jumpy at best.

When Slade found the boy sleeping in the empty bathtub, wrapped in a blanket, he had had enough, though. He told Robin that Starfire would not get anything to eat the next day because of his childishness, and she would go without food for as long as Robin kept his behavior up. Star got to eat breakfast the second morning.

It was during that meal another thing changed. Slade were talking quietly to Raven as Robin joined Starfire in the kitchen for breakfast. After a moment Slade glanced over.

"What the…?"

Raven looked over as well and then flew up to the counter.

"Robin! What do you think you are eating?" she said, horrified.

"Breakfast?" Robin ventured, but really… it was a stretch…

"It's cereal with milk and mustard!"

"Yeah! It's great! I can't believe Star has been right all this time…" Robin smiled contently, shoveling the disgusting mix into his mouth.

The following days the boy discovered that what he really liked, really, really liked was frying up a mix of eggs, mashed bananas and mustard. He commented that he was surprised that a combination of fried eggs and bananas, two foods he couldn't stand to even look at a few weeks back, could taste so good together. No one else really believed it either. Except Starfire. As Raven refused to cook the vile stuff, Star had been temporarily let into the kitchen, and she and Robin spent many, rather happy, hours trying out new recipes. Raven insisted that Robin should eat some 'real' food as well, though, so the experimenting was only allowed at lunch.

Slade let them be at those times, deciding that Robin could benefit from spending time with the 'pro-baby' Starfire… under his careful watch, of course. Robin gradually calmed down and Slade saw that the boy had gotten a new self control. It was shattered once in a while by mood swings, but even those weren't quite as frequent anymore. Another change Slade noted was Robin's stance. He seldom hunched or curled up anymore, quite the opposite, he could look like he owned the room and everyone in it at times. Slade thought it was because of some degree of acceptance, but the boy's mind about the baby had not changed. Still clothed in snug, slim outfits, the bulge seemed to become more visible every day, and it was clear Robin hated it, and still flinched if someone seemed to want to touch it. Not with Slade, though. The man wouldn't allow his pet to refuse to be touched anywhere, and Robin knew it all too well. So Robin submitted. He was often more distant in bed now, though, unless the hormone levels worked to Slade's advantages, but he never refused. He also seemed to enjoy it most of the time, but the passion, the need from before was missing. That was not surprising, perhaps, since Robin had regained his memories, or rather, his feelings about the past, but it was rather boring… Slade's smirk widened. He might just go visit Chang for a bit…

"Here you go."

Robin looked up from his place by the throne, staring dumbstruck at the steaming cup held out by Slade.

"What's this?"

"It's tea… and it's good for you…" Slade said. "Drink."

Robin took the mug and sniffed the hot liquid. Smelled like tea. Robin wasn't overly fond of the beverage, but he didn't care for an argument. He sipped the brew and made a face. Too bitter. He sipped it again. And again. Not so bad… He drank the rest of it as fast as he could without burning himself, enjoying every drop. Robin had to confess he really didn't trust his own taste buds anymore, but at least he wasn't having those cravings he had heard of, right? He stretched and glanced out of the windows. It was pitch black except for the twinkling jewel lights that were Jump City. He got to his feet, ignoring that Slade might not like it.

"Bathroom." Robin said as an explanation. Slade nodded, having never looked up from the screen, and Robin irritably turned away. He couldn't believe he had actually stood there and waited for the nod! He hadn't been aware that he was doing that until Slade had actually nodded, but these things were… Robin wanted them to be annoying, but the truth was they were scary… what else was he doing without thinking? How well had he really adapted? He stomped off, filled with those dark thoughts, but as he came back a few minutes later he felt a better. A lot better. He felt hot and tingly all over and especially in the pant's region. He set his sights on Slade and moved in, smiling somewhat hungrily. The man rose and came towards him, walking down the stairs, and suddenly… suddenly Robin's path was blocked.

"Robin! I'm ever so glad tha-"

Green sparkling eyes, a happy mouth and… a mouth… warm body… at that moment Robin didn't much care who the body belonged too, he just needed to… well… Starfire suddenly found herself in a very new, but not unpleasant situation, as Robin's lips pressed against hers and his arms pulled her very, very close. This wasn't like the kiss they had shared once before, it was passionate, eager, and even a bit scary. She knew she was stronger than Robin, but at the moment it didn't seem that way…

Robin, in the mean while, were getting irritated that he was doing everything himself, and was glad to feel a hard grip on his neck. A second later he found out that it didn't belong to the person he was kissing.

"Wrong target there, I think…" Slade drawled, and turned Robin's face towards himself. Again, Robin didn't much care about the 'who'-part of this, but he felt like he had traded up, as Slade kissed him back roughly.

"Bedroom?" the man asked, the answer obvious.

"Now!" Robin agreed, kissing the man again, and as he felt that he was being lifted, he wound his legs around Slade's waist, rubbing against the man eagerly. Slade stopped for a second and broke the kiss. He took something out of his mouth and handed it to Starfire who dumbly accepted it.

"I believe this gum is yours?"

The girl nodded, and in seconds she was left alone, gaping, yet again. She stomped her foot hard on the floor, before trudging back to her own room to sulk. Life was just not fair sometimes.

Life was rather fair to Robin, though, who a few minutes later were hurriedly closing in on a great climax.

"In… me… now!" he begged the man above him, arching to get what he wanted. Slade wasn't late to provide, and thrust forward, making the boy cry out in pleasure. Being so far gone, it didn't take long for either of them to finish, and Robin found himself suddenly laying on top of Slade, still with the man's cock inside him. Slade made a move as if to get up, but Robin used the little body weight he had to make the man stay put.

"No… you'll be hard again really soon, right…?" Robin purred, and rocked his hips, clenching on the man's member. As he thought he soon felt the results and smiled eagerly, starting to ride it slowly until it was completely hard once more.

"As you told me once…." Robin panted. "This is going to be a long night…"

Robin opened his eyes. He had only slept for a few minutes, Slade was still pressed up against his back, and the arm that had held him in place was tightly wound around him still. Robin discovered that his own arm clung around Slade's, hugging it closely. He sighed as he slowly loosened the grip, and then felt Slade's body shift against his. Smiling lazily Robin pushed back against Slade's crotch, pressing suggestively until he heard a soft chuckle.

"Begging for more?" Slade asked.

"Have any?"

After that cheeky reply, all Slade could really do was flip the boy over and show him that he did.

Hours later, and Robin was not about to move again for quite some time if he had his way. His head was resting against Slade's neck and his body was rather awkwardly sprawled over the man, but he didn't have the energy or the nerve to move. Slade could interpret it as another invitation, after all… Robin cursed the man's healing abilities, which, apparently, gave him close to ever lasting stamina. After cursing quietly he grinned… because ever lasting stamina had not been a bad thing during the last hours.

Slade moved under him and Robin murmured something weakly in protest. Then it turned out the man only moved him to a more comfortable position, Robin stilled again, sighing contently. He couldn't wipe the stupid grin off his face and now Slade noticed.

"Feeling up for another round?" The man chuckled.

"If it doesn't involve me moving in any way, yeah, sure…" Robin muttered.

Slade smirked and let his hand slide down to Robin's crotch. The boy gasped in surprise as he hardened very quickly. Slade didn't do anything more than stroking him lazily, though.

"I guess even a small dose was a bit too large..." Robin heard Slade say, and looked up at him questioningly.

"Small dose of what?" he wanted to know.

"Well, do you remember the herbs Chian gave me… that the Triads used in their stables?"

Robin's eyes widened.

"The aphrodisiac? You drugged me?"

"Just a little bit." Slade admitted.

Robin closed his eyes and tried to count to ten.

"A little bit? We have been fucking like rabbits all night! The sun is rising! I can't believe you… I… we… and…" Robin's voice trailed off and he snorted before chuckling shortly.

"What now?" Slade wanted to know.

"I tried, but I just can't be furious at you right now… I'm too well fucked…" Robin sighed and shook his head tiredly.

"Maybe I should keep you in this state permanently?" Slade suggested.

"Marvelous idea. We would both be dead within the week. Well. I would." Suddenly Robin sat straight up. "Holy-shit-I-kissed-Starfire!"

"That you did." Slade agreed dryly and pulled the boy back down. Robin glanced at him nervously.

"You can't blame me! Not after you drugged me… and you can't blame her either, she had no idea!"

"I'm just glad you didn't bump into Chang." Slade grinned as Robin paled.

"Please don't mention that ever again."

Slade shuddered somewhat himself at the image.

"Deal." he nodded.

Robin was quiet for a moment, too tired to think of anything to say. Then something he had been wondering about popped into his head. Before, he had always been sensible enough not to ask, but now his brain was too tired to edit anything.

"Slade, have you ever… you know… bottomed?"

The man snorted

"Don't you think that question was a bit too personal?"

Robin gave him an incredulous look.

"Err… I have like ten loads of your cum inside me-"

"Twelve." Slade corrected.

"Yeah, but who's counting, right?" Robin shrugged "Besides, you have your hand on my cock, and let's not, for once, forget about the spawn… and you think that was personal?"

Slade grinned and tightened his hold, increasing the speed until Robin bit his lower lip and moaned.

"Well, all right. Yes. I have. When I joined the army at sixteen…"

"That's… too young for the… a-army…." Robin protested.

"There was a war going on. Not many cared enough to really check." Slade answered.

"Was this the civil war?" Robin smirked, trying very hard to keep his composure.

"I adore your sense of humor." Slade smirked and stopped the stroking.

Robin bucked into the still hand.

"No… damn... I apologize, Slade, please continue…"

"My story or…?"

"Both!"

"Well, all right…" Slade chuckled and started up again, to be rewarded with a throaty moan from the boy. "As I said, I joined the army, and you are right, I was too young. My troop's sergeant found out and… well… he threatened to send me home."

"He- he forced you?"

"We came to an agreement." Slade said coldly, and Robin got the feeling that this was what that sixteen year old boy had told himself, again and again, to be able to cope. It was only an agreement…

Just like this is?

Robin was interrupted in his thoughts as Slade continued.

"The man died two weeks later."

"You… killed him?"

"Of course not! I would never have killed my senior officer." Slade sounded offended. "I just… happened to forget to yell 'duck!'" he smirked, and Robin let out a small laugh.

Slade's hand worked even faster, and if the man said something else it was drowned out by the blood pounding in Robin's ears as he came once more with a cry. He didn't even have any seed left to ejaculate anything, a thing Slade didn't have a problem with, judging by the stickiness between Robin's thighs. Robin wondered if the scientist really had thought of this when they had tried to figure out how to give soldiers regenerating powers… talk about 'make love, not war'… Robin smirked but as what Slade had told him really sunk in he grew more serious. Their situations were similar… but pointing this out to Slade would be useless, Robin figured. He tiredly noticed as Slade pulled a blanket over them both and he closed his eyes, chasing the thought away. The one thing Slade had told him about his past… did it have to be that? Did it have to be something that connected them? Something that made Slade seem more human? Robin didn't want to think of the man as such, and he really, really didn't want to feel that pang of pity in his stomach that he had felt as Slade told him. The man didn't deserve it. Robin drifted off to sleep, more confused about his captor than ever.

They didn't wake until rather late in the day, but this time they weren't woken up by worried people.

"Well, we could hear you…" Chang giggled as an explanation. "Besides, you had already checked the drug with me to make sure it was safe."

"No way you heard anything! Soundproofed room, remember?" Robin sneered, and tried hard not to limp as he followed Slade to the kitchen. The damn man didn't have to look that smug, did he?

"Heh- well… not soundproofed enough, I would say… besides, with that bed slamming against the wall all night…"

"Oh, shut up." Robin muttered, growing rather red.

Star stood by the counter and looked up when they came closer, offering a little, hesitant, smile. It quickly turned into a worried frown.

"Robin! You are limping! Are you hurt?"

Thank you, Star, for drawing attention to THAT… Robin thought sourly.

"No, I'm fine." he snapped.

"It's from the fucking? I heard-"

"Star! Please! I'm fine!" Robin desperately interrupted the girl. Then he remembered something. "Star, I'm sorry about yesterday… I didn't mean to kiss you… I really lo-like you, but Slade had given me a drug and … well... I wasn't myself…"

"That is not something of a big deal, Robin… but why would Master Slade give you the drugs? Have you been bad again?" she looked worried and a little annoyed.

"No, he… he did it to make me feel better…" Robin muttered and threw a glare at the man in question, who, incidentally, still looked all too smug.

"That's right, pet…" the man nodded and came close enough to place his hands on Robin's hips. "And did you?"

Robin only muttered again, with the pink tint on his cheeks back for an encore.

"It's a good thing the baby is so well isolated." Chang chuckled. "Or he would have a concussion by now."

Raven, who had just joined the group frowned at this.

"Robin, I heard-"

"Yes, yes… everyone heard. We'll put clips on you tube for you too, okay?" he snarled, making Slade leer and Starfire squeal quietly.

"What I was going to say, Robin, was that maybe it was a bit much, and you might want to rest for the day."

"No, what I might WANT to do is get the hell out of here, but since that won't happen, you have to tell your Master about the resting. It's up to him." With that Robin stomped off, or rather hobbled off, and gingerly sat down on the dais.

Slade joined him a few minutes later. Robin seemed to be busy studying his own knees with a deep frown on his face.

"You are not going to be grumpy today, are you?" Slade warned him.

"No, because then you starve Starfire." Robin hissed.

"Considering what she eats, I might do her a favor..." Slade speculated. Robin heard the underlying tone, though, suggesting that Slade was not in a forgiving mood.

"Look…" Robin sighed. "I'm just tired…"

"Maybe you should go take a bath and stay in the room for the rest of the day…. not that there's much left of it…" Slade suggested.

Robin nodded and gratefully slunk away. That was exactly what he needed. It irritated him that Slade seemed to know that.

He took his time, filling the bath, getting it to just the right temperature, and using just enough bubbles, that is; a lot. As he sank down into the water, Robin flinched as it stung his sore behind. Soon it started to feel better, though, and he sank down completely, sighing in bliss. He let himself float for a while, feeling drained, and as always in those situations, his mind took darker turns and it became harder for him to relax. He felt bad for having felt so good last night, which was annoying because there was really nothing he could do about it… but he had enjoyed himself, and that was unforgivable. Even drugged he felt like he should have been able to keep a cooler head, separate himself slightly, like he always did when he allowed himself to feel pleasure. Last night had been completely different, though… he had been himself, through and through, and he had become completely lost in the sensations. He shouldn't be allowed to enjoy himself like that! Damn Slade. Why couldn't he just let him suffer quietly? And speak of the devil…

"Having a nice bath, Robin?" Slade said as he walked in like he owned the place… which, perhaps, he did, come to think of it…

"I had…" Robin snorted.

"Shouldn't a pet be happy to see his owner?" Slade asked, taking his mask off and smirking.

"Shouldn't the owner work so he can afford to keep the pet?" Robin asked innocently.

Slade chuckled, and Robin relaxed a little bit. The man had come from a meeting, judging by the mask, and it must have been a good one.

"Don't worry, little pet… I can afford to keep you for quite a long time…"

"As long as the price on collars and skimpy outfits stays reasonable?"

"Yes, well, leather IS a bit expensive at the moment… maybe you should think about earning your keep…?" Slade smirked. The man had started to undress as they were talking, and Robin studied the man's body as he moved towards the tub. He didn't feel ashamed anymore, and as it wasn't every day he saw Slade completely nude in daylight, he looked. After what the man told him last night, Robin took more notice of the faint scars he could see, wondering which were from the war, and which were later. He guessed that the man wouldn't have any scars from after his healing-experiment, but he wasn't sure...

"See anything you like?" Slade grinned as he slid into the water opposite Robin.

"Yeah, if it was attached to another head…" Robin muttered.

"Very funny." Slade suddenly grabbed Robin's ankles and pulled them towards him, which meant Robin was pulled under the surface. For a split second the boy was afraid he was going to drown, but then Slade let go, and Robin, flailing and spluttering, could breathe again.

"You- are being quite funny yourself…" Robin snorted, trying to wipe his face clear from the bubbles.

"Another thing we have in common, then."

Robin rolled his eyes and sank back against the wall, drawing up his knees so Slade couldn't pull that prank again..

"So why are you here?" Robin finally asked.

"Isn't that obvious? To share a bath with my favorite, of course…" Slade smiled lazily.

"Just a bath? " Robin wondered suspiciously. "Because after last night, I'm way to sore to-"

"Just a bath, then… doesn't mean you have to sit all the way over there, though, does it?" Slade asked and reached for Robin's arm, pulling him forward in a smooth motion until the boy rested against his chest.

Robin didn't say anything. His thoughts had become more depressed again. He really believed he would get a break during the bath to mull things over, but Slade just wouldn't leave him alone, would he? Robin's thoughts turned more and more grim, and at last he sighed, saying one of the thoughts out aloud without really meaning to.

"I've wasted my life, haven't I?" Robin whispered and curled up slightly.

"That's quite a statement at sixteen." Slade snorted, half amused.

"I'm fift- oh… I guess I have had a birthday by now?" the though had never crossed Robin's mind before and was quite stunning. He was sixteen now…

"Yes. A few months back." Slade nodded.

"You didn't tell me?" Robin wasn't really surprised; it wasn't like he had expected a cake or anything…

"A pet's birthday is hardly that important." Slade drawled, tracing a pattern over Robin's back with his finger.

Robin looked blankly at Slade, trying hard not to let the man know how he felt. It hurt. He didn't want to admit it, even to himself, but it hurt, still, to be degraded like that. Less than human. Not worthy. Well, Slade was right. It didn't matter. If Slade let him, he would have many birthdays that wouldn't be taken notice of. Better get used to it. Suddenly something else rushed into Robin's mind, something else he had missed. And this was far worse than a birthday.

"I… oh, god…" he whispered, his voice almost breaking.

"What?" Slade tilted Robin's head up, feeling the distress radiating through the boy and wondering what was going on.

"I missed their… their memorial day… the day they died… I never miss that… ever!" Robin tried to wrench out of Slade's arms but failed. "Let me go! Please! I just want to be alone!" he half snarled, half sobbed.

"No." was Slade's only response.

After a few moments, when Robin realized that he wasn't going anywhere, he stilled, and instead went completely lax. Slade had to prop the boy's head up on his shoulder to keep it above water level, as Robin didn't seem to notice much around him at the moment.

"I'm a bad son." the boy whispered and Slade chuckled.

"Don't be melodramatic, Robin, I'm sure your parents would have forgiven you for missing one anniversary."

Robin nodded.

"Yes. They would… but… I wasn't a good enough sidekick, Bruce was never pleased, whatever I did, and he didn't trust me enough. And I wasn't a good enough leader, or my team wouldn't be in this situation now… I'm not even a good enough pet, since you are not happy with me…. but I thought I was a good son…"

"And why aren't you?"

"Because of me not being a good enough sidekick and leader, this happened! And when this did happen, I couldn't please you either, and since I'm not a good enough fuck I will lose them now! I've already lost some memories, but after you break me… it's not about missing one memorial day, it's… I will miss them all from now on… and I was the last to remember them… when I don't anymore… they will be truly gone…" the pain in Robin's eyes and voice was piercing. "Maybe you don't understand, Slade… everything I have done from the day they died… everything I've become… everything I've learned… everything I've sacrificed…have been for them… to make them proud! They have always been my ideal, my source of strength…You took away their colors and their picture, but ultimately… this is my fault… I could have given myself to you, I could have submitted…. then you wouldn't have to break me… then they would have been mine to keep…" Robin's face was wet by now, and not just from the bathwater. He still rested heavily against Slade, unable, or perhaps unwilling, to keep himself up.

"And your parents?" Slade wanted to know. "Would giving up, honor their memory?"

Robin took a shaky breath.

"No… but… I just want to remember them! I… I'm not that bad, am I? Do… do you really need to…?"

Slade pushed Robin off himself and rose from the tub.

"Yes, pet, I do." he reached over to pull Robin up as well. The boy didn't struggle, but didn't help much either, head lowered and shoulders slumped. He was the image of an already broken human being. Slade wrapped a towel around his shoulders and then tilted the boy's head up once more. "I will do it, Robin, because you feel depressed right now, but your emotions change quickly and I bet, after thinking this over, you won't be that eager to give up. You still think you can have it all… freedom, memories, even your friends and your life as a hero… you haven't really understood that you lost all that the moment you signed the contract. You signed away your rights to those things then. You are still struggling with it. I need to help you with that. I need to help you understand."

"But… I… my parents…"

"Are dead, Robin. Dead and gone. Dead people do not judge the living. They are not watching you, and they do not request anything from you. And, really, they won't be any less dead no matter how much you remember about them. You are trying to please something that is not there. They are gone… in a way, Robin… you are free."

Robin stared up at the man. No one had ever said that to him before. It was always 'they are always with you…', 'what would your parent's think?', and 'your parent's would be proud.'

"Gone?" he asked, shakily.

"Believe me, yes." Slade made an impatient gesture. "Listen, boy, all that dead people can give you is lessons, small or great, that you learn from their lives and deaths… Someone who has a relative passing away in lung cancer might learn not to smoke… someone whose father was successful because of hard work might take that to heart and work just a s hard… in your case you might have learned not to work for a circus in trouble with the mob, who knows? But that is all. Got it? Now go to bed. We should never have left it in the first place, anyway."

Robin nodded, slightly stunned.

"You didn't have anything to eat before, I will bring you something." Slade muttered after getting half dressed. Robin only nodded, still staring as wide-eyed as an owl at the man, who snorted and stomped out.

Robin shifted his gaze to the wall in front of the bed.

This was… All right, so he had never believed in heaven, exactly… maybe a vague life-after-death-thing, but nothing concrete… but he had always felt his parents, somehow… was that stupid? Was Slade right? Didn't their memory matter? Robin shook his head slowly. No. He couldn't accept that… but he couldn't help to hope it was somewhat true… because if his parents could see him like this… Robin shuddered.

They would be ashamed…

To be continued…

A/N: And now I have to vacuum the flat… pity me!