Time to do this review, shall we? Enjoy.
Justice League: Crisis of two Earths review
DJ was in his desk, wearing a Batman-themed hoodie instead of his normal cloak, as he says "Hello I'm the Demon Critic. I do the reviews so you know what to look out for."
DJ then asks "so have you guys ever heard of the 'Evil Double' before?"
(Shows images of Albeno, Zak Monday and Dark Samus from Metroid)
"Yes, this seems to be a trend with any form of fiction." Said DJ. "There's always an evil double or counterpart to a great hero." Said DJ. "Like Albeno from Ben 10, or Zak Monday from the Secret Saturdays."
"But did you know that DC actually had a whole EARTH with nothing but flipped around heroes and villains?" asked DJ. "Well…that's where Justice League: Crisis of Two Earths revolves around."
(Shows scenes of the movie)
"This movie is based on the idea of Earth 3, a world where everyone has done a heel-face-turn and changed sides. This is where John Wilkes Booth was the 16th president people. THAT'S how weird this world was." Said DJ.
"So anyway, lets begin." Said DJ. "We start this film with…someone breaking into a high-tech place. O-kay…this is a DC hero flick, right? So are we going to see a robbery?"
(Shows Lex Luthor and the Joker dressed in a jester outfit breaking in)
"Yep, it is a heist." Said DJ. "Though why is Joker dressed like a male Harley Quinn?"
(Lex: No time for niceness (Hand glows with yellow energy and stabs into it)
Jester: Way to be stealthy, Luthor
Lex: The moment I shut down the laser grid, it sent out a silent alarm. They're already on their way (Jester looks shocked))
"So they break into the high-tech place and get this weird-looking tube thing called…" DJ began but Jester interrupted.
(Jester: The Quantum Trigger.)
"…Thanks." Said DJ plainly. "But the two are busted and make a getaway. But before Lex leaves, apparently Joker, or Jester as he's called here, decides to stay and distract them."
"And before anyone says anything, yes I know who voices Jester and Lex: Chris Noth is Lex while Jester is played by…James Patrick Stuart? Xigbar from Kingdom Hearts? And apparently James also plays one of the bad guys, who I'll introduce later."
"Speaking of Jester, he gets stabbed by some evil Angel girl and a deformed Martian Manhunter and they want the quantum trigger from him." Said DJ.
(Jester: Okay! I'm down to my last joke anyway. (Reaches for something) But this one will kill you. (Gets a bomb out))
"And Jester blows himself up. Talk about a waste of potential…but still kind of sad." Said DJ. "But with Lex, he meets up with our main bad guys…the ANTI-JUSTICE LEAGUE!"
(Imperial Music comes in as Ultraman, Johnny Quick, Power Ring, Super Woman and Owlman come in)
"Yep, it's the Crime Syndicate, the exact opposite versions of the Justice League. Though I don't know why Johnny Quick's actor, James Patrick Stuart, went with an Australian accent, but what ever."
"But with Ultraman, voiced by Brian Bloom who also played…Captain America?" asked DJ. He then looks at two pictures; one of Ultraman and the other of the Avengers: Earth's Mightiest heroes' Captain America. "How the heck does that work?"
"But anyway, back on topic, Ultraman tries to tell Lex he can't get away. And what does Lex do?" asked DJ.
(Shows Lex teleporting away)
"He…gets away. Awkward." Said DJ.
"Back in the original DC world, the Justice League is building the watch Tower. And Batman, voiced by Johnny 13 himself, William Baldwin, is testing out the teleportation device on the ship. And the test monkey is...the Flash, played by Josh Keaton. Whom...also played Spider Man. Interesting bit of trivia there." said DJ.
(Batman: Alright Flash. ready for the test run.
Flash: I don't know, Batman. this is pretty radical. You're absolutely that it works?
Batman: Pretty sure (presses a button)
Flash: 'Pretty sure'? That isn't- (gets teleported into the Watch tower) good enough
Batman: Teleporter's online (takes Flash's pretzel and takes a bite out of it)
DJ sighs and says "Since SO many people would want me to make this joke...here."
(DJ's voice over of the scene: (imitating Batman) I'll take this pretzel...And eat it!)
(Flash: Are you crazy? Is he crazy?)
"Have you SEEN his Rouge's gallery?" asked DJ. "Anyway, back on Earth, Lex comes in and goes to the police station. But the cops, of course, points guns at him, thinking he's the normal Luthor."
(Lex: I want you to contact the Justice League for me.
The cop: Or else?
Lex: (Shrugs) Oh I don't know. I'll destroy the world. Is that sufficient?)
DJ looked shocked at this as he says "WOW! That's…really nonchalant there, Lex…" He then sighs and says "Anyway, later that day, Super Man, Flash and Wonder Woman go to see Lex as the SWAT team guards them. And they get a…pleasant surprise."
(The three heroes walk in and see Lex Luthor…nude…and reading the newspaper)
(Flash: Oh, and they call me The Flash)
DJ looked even more shocked as he asks, "This is a FAMILY FILM, right? Anyway, Lex here tells them that he's not their Luthor, but a heroic one from a parallel world. Super Man believes him because…he's Super Man. Besides, he has super-vision. You think he can't see something?"
"But when they bring Lex to the Watchtower, Flash asks a…pretty surprising question." Said DJ
(Flash: Don't tell me. On your world, you're the leader of the Justice League.
Lex: As a matter of fact, I was.
Wonder Woman: Past tense.
Lex: I'm not just the leader of my world's Justice League. I'm its only surviving member.)
"AH MAN! I was so keen on seeing Quizmaster and the good-guy version of Sinestro…" said DJ with a pout. "So anyway, apparently the Syndicate has gone wild for years and the only thing keeping them from taking over is nuclear bombs. Uh…if Ultraman IS a Kryptonian, wouldn't bombs be unable to hurt him that much? I know it's radioactive, but still. I'm not sure how radioactivity can work on Superman on this world."
"After telling them this, the League wants to go there, but Superman says…"
(Superman: I don't trust him)
"Figures." Said DJ. "But even Supes wants to help Lex with his world's problems. So while Bats stays and fixes up the ship, the others are going to their world with Lex."
"And no better timing, as Owlman, voiced by James Woods of all people, and Super Woman, voiced by Laurence Fishburne's wife, Gina Torres, are trashing Lex's HQ with a lot of other Evil super heroes." Said DJ.
"But one really great action scene later, the group is ran out by Super woman's Black Adam Family."
(Shows a picture of the Adams Family with Black Adam from 'Captain Marvel' in the picture.)
"…That would be an interesting crossover," said DJ. He then says "And yes, apparently Super Woman, according to the now deceased Dwayne McDuffie, is actually the evil version of Mary Marvel, Captain Marvel's sister." Said DJ.
"Anyway, after getting away from them, the group steal Owlman's jet and make a getaway from the Super Family." Said DJ. "Back at the Syndicate's HQ, we find out that Owlman has made a bomb that can wipe out a whole planet."
(Ultra Man: Which leaves the governments of the world two choices; bow down to us or die.)
DJ looked around as he asks "Uh…wouldn't that mean you wouldn't have a world to rule over anymore? Whatever. Anyway, back with the League, Lex gives them a free-pass into the Clown Cave."
(Shows Lex turning on lights, revealing Jester's hideout)
"Wow…it looks like the Batcave if it was owned by Chucky Cheese." Said DJ.
(Then shows a monkey going to Lex.)
(Lex: I'm sorry, Harley. The Jester is never coming back)
"So…Harley Quinn is a monkey? Where's Bud and Lou?" asked DJ. 'Anyway, Lex tells the league the back stories of the Syndicate and they plan on attacking them one at a time."
(Super Man: That's a waste of time.)
"Good point, Clark. Go in teams of two instead!" said DJ.
(Lex: We'd be hopelessly outnumbered. When my Justice League fought them…)
"They ended up dying a horrible death." Said DJ plainly. "Think on that one, Lexy. Anyway, we also find out that Owlman has made another one of those 'go-to-another-world' things like Lex did."
"But what ever, we get to see Super heroes trash stuff." Said DJ.
(Shows scenes of Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Green Lantern and Flash wrecking syndicate operations all over the area.)
"So while the League are having fun trashing the bad guy's operations, Superman and Lex go to this world's Daily planet. And, of course, take on a buffed-up Jimmy Olsen."
"But luckily Jimmy here has that same sonic watch that the real Jimmy uses to call Superman. So Ultraman comes in and tries to save Jimmy from them. So while Jimmy fights with Supes, Lex and Ultraman have a brawl on near-by rooftop."
"But since Ultraman's heat vision would fry him from the inside out, Lex gets out some blue kryptonite out and royally beats up Ultraman while Superman takes on the evil version of one of his best pals." Said DJ.
"After the fight, the League members are summoned to the White house, where the president wants to meet them. And who is the president in this world you may ask. Well…it's…Slade Wilson?" asked DJ.
(Shows a picture of Slade from Teen Titans)
"So anyway, unlike the cool and collected Slade from the comics and Teen Titans series, THIS Slade is a coward who thinks trying to make 'peace' with the Crime Syndicate will keep them out of here. Lex, mind telling him what we think of that?" asked DJ.
(Lex: Forgive me, Mr. President, but that's a load of crap)
DJ claps and says "thank you, Mr. Luthor. Clearly he should be the president of this world's United States, he clearly wants to protect the people instead of just laying around like idiots."\
"And before anyone narks on me, let me explain. I do like Slade. Heck, I think he's one of the best DCU Bad guys to exist." DJ explained. "Heck, he's up there with Joker, Riddler, Lex Luthor and Darkseid for some of my all-time favorite DCU bad guys."
"Here though…he's kind of a weakling compared to his evil counter part. Is this saying that if Slade were a good guy, he wouldn't be as good a fighter as he is in the main universe? I mean…I know Slade's only human and all, but he has been able to take on people like Starfire, Terra, Cyborg and even Nightwing."
"But back out of that rambling, we find out that Slade released Ultraman and Jimmy, and is then talked down to by his own daughter." Said DJ. "But then J'onn accidentally gets into her head."
(Rose: (Thinking) My god, dad. You were a war hero, when did you turn into a coward?
J'onn: He's not a coward. A man who has seen battle…are ones who hold life most dear.
Rose: How did you know what I was thinking?
J'onn: it was an accident. I didn't mean to read your mind.)
"But your thoughts were really…interesting." Said DJ, imitating J'onn's voice. "Is it normal for girls your age to fantasize over sparking vampires?"
"Anyway, back with Owlman and Super Woman, we find out that Owlman has a thing against all of life. He sees it as meaningless." Said DJ.
(Hades: What is this? An Audience or a mosaic)
"And when he reveals he wants to destroy a place called 'Earth Prime', aka…the DC's version of OUR Earth, how does Super Woman react?" asked DJ.
(Owlman: Don't get in my way.
Super Woman: On the contrary (Kisses Owlman) I'm in)
"So anyway, back at the White House-seriously, what is up with all the screen hopping-we see that Rose is still unhappy with her dad." Said DJ. "When he tries to make her stop speaking against the Syndicate, she says this."
(Rose: When I was a little girl you were my hero. What happened to you? (Gives her father a look)
Slade: I guess we both grew up. (Roses leaves at this))
"And Ultraman shows up." Said DJ. "Cue the Godfather theme."
(The music from the Godfather movies appear as Ultraman comes in)
(Ultraman: Kids, huh? They drive us crazy, but we'd still do anything to protect them. Am I right?
Slade: (calls off his guards) What do you want?
Ultraman: Saw your daughter on the news the other night. She's got a mouth on her.
Slade: It's a free country.
Ultraman: We both know better then that.)
"Burn to the eye-patch-wearing-guy." Said DJ. "So when Ultraman threatens his daughter, Slade reminds him that he has enough nukes to blow him and the rest of the Syndicate to Kingdom come."
(Ultraman: (Grabs Slade's face and looks at his eye patch) Yeah, the Nukes. A real equalizer, huh? (Slaps Slade hard, causing his mouth to bleed) Well, let me tell you something Mr. President. My boys are working up a bomb of our own. (Begins to fly away) Nice place. I think I'm gonna like it here)
"Wow…what a jerk." Said DJ plainly. "anyway, Owlman sends Superwoman and her little crew to the main DCU to get the Quantium Trigger from the Watchtower. There she meets with Batman."
(Batman: Your on my property. Stand down.
Super Woman: Your in over your head. Back off before I come over there and hurt you. (Batman just does a bring it on motion) Insect.)
"I prefer 'Bats'." Said DJ in a imitation of Batman's voice. "So Bats takes on the Super Family, but his robot-suit isn't enough to take on these guys. So he calls up some back up."
(Super Woman: Stay down. Your outnumbered.
Batman: Count again. (presses a button, which makes a beam of light bring in Red Tornado, Black Lightning, Aquaman, Black Canary and Firestorm)
Firestorm: You guys are in so much trouble.
Batman: Take them. (The heroes then ran at the villains))
"Lets get ready to rumble!" said DJ.
(Music plays as it shows the six heroes take on the four villains, showing them use their powers and skills against the four villains)
"But during the fight, Super Woman leaves the room to find the Quantum key, but Batman is right behind her." Said DJ. "But just as she finds it and leaves, Batman hitches a ride to the opposite earth."
(Super Woman: Take this to Owlman (Gives the Quantium Trigger to Captain Super)
Captain Super: Yes mistress. What about him?
Super Woman: (Smirking) Oh, I'll think of something)
DJ looked around as he says "So how's that President's daughter doing?"
(Shows a red version of Red Arrow aiming an arrow at her)
"She's about to be assassinated by a Red robin Hood. Yikes…" said DJ. "But luckily Martian Manhunter protecting her and gives Red Archer here a mind-scar as ever."
(Shows red Archer falling from a building, but Manhunter goes after him, turning into a gray monster)
(Manhunter-monster with voice over: ZUUL! (Red Archer screamed at this))
"okay, I wonder how Batman is doing." Said DJ, turning to his left.
(Shows Batman fighting Super Woman)
"Yikes…so yeah, Batman has to fight Super Woman." Said DJ, as he watches the fight.
(Super woman: Nice moves, you remind me of my boyfriend. (Hits Batman with a marble collem) What am I going to do with you?)
"Not crushing me with marble would be nice…" said DJ imitating Batman. "But when she threatens to send him to a different world or to be her 'pet'-are you STILL sure this is a family film?-and before she can break his bones some more, Batman throws some smoke bombs at her."
(Batman: It's not smoke. It's anesthetic gas. (Super Woman goes unconscious at this) Batman to Justice League.)
"And cue bad perverted joke here, since I don't want to do one." Said DJ plainly. "Anyway, the League come in and tie up Super Woman as Batman tells them that Lex had hid the quantum Key on their Watchtower. Heck, it's going to be used for that big bomb. And guess who has it now."
(Shows Captain Super giving it to Owlman, who smirks)
(Hades: Boom, ada-boom-boom-boom, HA!)
"So back with Rose and Manhunter, apparently the two are now flirting with each other now. Yeah…the 1000-year-old alien is flirting with an 18 or 19 year old human. Guess she's legal."
(Manhunter: (stopping her) What are you doing?
Rose: Trying to kiss you. On Earth, it's how we show affection)
"Kind of forward, isn't she?" asked DJ.
(Manhunter: This is how we do it on Mars (Touches her head and the two swap memories))
"I hate how they do 'it'…" said DJ, as he shuddered. "And now I got that image in my head. One sec…" He then took a deep breath and says "Lion."
(A few random loud noises come in)
"Thank you." Said DJ. "Anyway, back on the Moon, the Crime Syndicate members are in the completing stages of the bomb. But they don't know that Owlman sort of plans on blowing everything up."
"Back with the league though, they're heading their way to their base and are taking Superwoman with them. Why? I don't know. Plot convenience?" asked DJ. "So they get into the hanger with no problem." DJ then cues the joke.
(Ackbar: It's a trap!)
"And so it is. When the League gets to the bomb area, Owlman has already put the Quantum Trigger inside of the bomb. And I think this is where I can do this joke." Said DJ, cuing it.
(Hades: Hades, lord of the Dead. Hi how are you doing?)
" But enough of that; we got a Justice League vs. Crime Syndicate fight scene to go through!"
(Shows the League fighting each of their counter parts and others counter parts)
"But then Owlman double-crosses his own team and sends the giant bomb to Earth Prime." Said DJ. "But they can't go to where he's going."
(Lex: Unless…someone can vibrate at a speed fast enough to piggyback on Owlman's carrier wave and can open a portal.
Flash: (Comes in) I'm your man.
Batman: no your no, Your to slow.
Flash: What?
Batman: I know your limitations. You can't possibly reach the speed necessary to pull this off.)
"Uh…Bats? He's called the 'Scarlet Speedster' for a reason, you know." Said DJ. "But what ever. We get Johnny Quick to make the portal and Batman comfronts Owlman in…the Apocalyptic world of Earth Prime."
(Shows Earth Prime as a descolate wasteland)
"And this is OUR Earth, everyone. Wow, this was a HARD THING to clean up, huh?" asked DJ in a sarcastic tone.
"Anyway, Owlman gives this speech about how the whole 'cause of existence' is because of choices." Said DJ, rolling his eyes a bit. "I'm sorry, but…I can't take this seriously. It's philosophical, yeah, but…having all of reality go to one earth is kind of odd."
"But anyway, we get a cool fight scene between the two and the coolest Batman line in history." Said DJ.
(Batman: There is a difference between you and me. (Gets away from Owlman and gets his Dimensional device) We both looked into the abyss…(Gets out the key as Owlman looks at him with shock) But when it looked back at us…you blinked. (Sends Owlman away to the ice Earth)
"…that is one of the COOLEST things I've ever heard Batman say in the history of forever." Said DJ. "Seriously, the guy who voices Bats here is up there with Kevin Conroy. Yeah, I went there."
"anyway, after letting Ice Earth get blown up by the bomb, Batman gets back to Evil Earth where Johnny Quick is…wow…"
(Shows Johnny slowing down, showing he had aged a lot.)
"Ouch…he comes in a bad guy, but goes out a hero…" said DJ. "Lets take a moment of silence for Johnny Quick…"
(Sad music plays as it shows a montage of Johnny Quick in the movie, and then a Black and White picture of him with this caption: 'Johnny Quick: A evil Flash who goes out a hero. From 1975 to 2010.')
"So…what does the Syndicate have to say about their fallen comrade?" asked DJ.
(Ultraman: That's real sad, ain't it? Now get your (buy some apples) off my moon.
Lex: What's wrong with you? We almost lost everything.)
"Good one there, Lex. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY!" asked DJ, annoyed. "But anyway, before Ultra Man could be more of a jerk then usual, Manhunter comes in with some back up."
(Martian Manhunter: I brought the marines. (smirks as they came in space suits))
"Yep. Apparently Mr. Wilson doesn't like his kids being threatened." Said DJ with a smirk. "Finally, Slade being himself. A guy who isn't scared of people with super powers."
"So the Syndicate is locked up for good, with their henchmen being rounded up as well." Said DJ with a smirk. "so after a short time with Rose, Manhunter goes to his team since he doesn't belong there."
(Wonder Woman: Maybe there's a girl like her on our Earth.
Manhunter: With our luck, she'll be evil.)
DJ looks at a picture of Ravenger and says "Uh…try a Teen Titan, Manhunter. Anyway, the team goes back to their Universe, and the beginning of the Justice League is afloat."
"so that was Justice League: Crisis of Two Earths. What did I think you may ask?" asked DJ. "Well…I really liked it."
(shows images of the film)
"It's action-packed, story and character driven, really fun to watch, and has a lot of funny moments." Said DJ. "But there is a lot of weird jokes and/or odd characters in the evil universe. Not to mention it flips a lot of the time." Said DJ.
"But in all, it's a good movie." Said DJ with a smile. He then gets up as he says "I'm the Demon Critic, I do the reviews so you know what to look out for."
Movie Stats:
Pros: Good animation, cool action scenes, the characters are interesting and all-around interesting premises.
Cons: Doesn't transition well most of the time, and some characters aren't used well sometimes.
Rating: **** ½ out of 5.
Warner Brothers and DC comics own the rights to this movie. I do not own any of the characters.
(Batman: But when it looked back…you blinked.)
End of Review
Well, I hoped you enjoyed the show. Sorry for the long wait. But please, let me know what you think and please Read, Review and Suggest away!