Chapter 37: Loss of Appetite
By the time they reached the top of the main stairs, Evelyn was quite confident that she knew (or at least could imagine) all the items on the agenda Josephine had prepared for the rest of the morning. She had seen the rearranged furniture, the assigned chairs and dining tables, and she could smell the tantalizing aromas coming from the kitchen, so it was safe to assume what was to be expected.
She was wrong.
For starters, she had planned to take Sebastian and Adair to their respective rooms to give them time to rest and perhaps bathe, even though by all accounts she suspected they had done exactly that in the camp at the bottom of the Frostback Mountains. Josephine, however, had another idea entirely.
When Evelyn and Sebastian walked into the main hall, there was a fanfare coming from the back of the room, where a humble but well tuned orchestra had started up. It was, at the very least, embarrassing to receive such unaccustomed attention in this manner, and Evey was tempted to run to her rooms and hide there until all of this was over. She had to admit the timing and imagery was perfect: The Inquisitor entering her fortress with the Prince of Starkhaven holding her arm in a chivalrous gesture, both dressed in their best finery and readying themselves for their first meal together. But it was nothing in comparison to pretty much all the people living in Skyhold clapping and smiling at them in perfect unison, flawlessly synchronized to the drop of huge banners from the first floor with Starkhaven, the Free Marches, the Chantry, the Inquisition and the Trevelyan's crests, all of them dressing the hall with their combined colors and insignias.
Completely surprised, Evelyn looked first to Sebastian at her side, who was candidly smiling and admiring Josephine's work, only for him to turn and look at her when he felt her eyes resting on him, and smiling even more warmly before he nodded in thanks for all the effort the Inquisition had gone to for their welcoming ceremony... Or so she assumed.
Then he repeated the expression in kind to her advisors and friends at their backs. Leliana had the same enigmatic smile she usually wore, Josephine was beaming and purposely ignoring Evelyn's accusatory stare, and Cullen was frowning at the hall as if it offended him, resting his eyes briefly on her only to nail them squarely in the back of Sebastian's head a second later. Behind them, Hawke and Varric were almost choking from laughter.
-Is this some sort of surprise wedding? Should I have brought a gift?- Hawke smirked, and the mage's quip only made her blush more intensely, while Varric chuckled and added more fuel to the fire.
-Knowing Choir Boy, a prayer would suffice.
Hawke grunted at this.
-I knew it was too good to be true.
If looks could kill, Hawke and Varric would have probably been dead by now, considering the way Evelyn was glaring at them, not to mention how Cullen's jaw tensed.
At her side, Sebastian only shook his head, as if he was babysitting two problematic children, which was not too far from the truth given the personalities of those two, and softly nudged her side when their audience finished cheering, walking calmly to their table where unending delicacies were waiting for them.
When they reached the table meant for her inner circle, listening at how the people of Skyhold took their places in front of their chairs at their tables and yet still not sitting, Evelyn stopped in her tracks and untangled her arm from Sebastian's.
-Allow me to introduce you to my colleagues, Serah.- Sebastian smiled at the Free Marcher term, as well as the fact that Evelyn had chosen the one that was used for someone of equal status instead of the less obvious Messere that anyone, including her ambassador, would have preferred.
One by one Evelyn introduced all the members of her inner circle, holding her breath when Sera's turn came up, fearing the elf would decide there had been enough formalities and call Sebastian "Lord Fancypants" or "Prince Pisshead", but to her utter disbelief Sera just grunted and nodded begrudgingly when it was her turn to greet Sebastian, the biggest offense only being not to answer when he reached his hand out to take hers and kiss it, as he had done with Vivienne. When everyone was introduced, Evelyn left for their table, where Cassandra was waiting them.
-You Highness,- she greeted Sebastian as soon as he was within earshot, and displayed an impressive crimson hue in her cheeks when the Prince bowed and kissed her hand, recognizing her immediately.
-Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast, it is an honor to finally meet the Right Hand of the Most Holy. When our beloved Divine left us, I prayed that the Maker would guide yourself and Lady Leliana, to overcome the chaos that fell on your shoulders and light the path for those who sought to protect Grand Cleric Elthina when Kirkwall rebelled, for which, as I told Sister Nightingale earlier, I will be eternally grateful to both of you.
Once again, he bowed before her in complete silence, Cassandra fighting to find the proper words to reply to his sincere declaration. She didn't find them, and after a few uncomfortable seconds in which the Seeker only nodded and bowed profusely, Evelyn led Sebastian to his place, where he turned in time to pull out her chair to see that she sat before him, like a perfect gentleman, while Ambassador Adair walked behind him and sat at his place.
As she was doing the same, she heard Josephine's voice, mumbling as she passed by Cassandra.
-"You honor me, Your Highness. Please let me know if I can do anything to improve your stay,"- she said, not even trying to mimic Cassandra's voice, instead sounding absolutely outraged. -Was that really so difficult?- Then she sighed, as if exhausted.
Cassandra once again remained silent and, contrary to what most would have expected, she did not shoot an angry glance at the ambassador, choosing to stare at her empty plate instead, fighting the blush that was thankfully receding.
Almost as if the servants were attentively waiting for the moment when Evelyn and Sebastian took their seats, around six different people descended upon their tables with trays of food, while a dozen more served the rest of the tables, their steps drowned out by the sound of all the people in the main hall sitting on their chairs once they were sure the Inquisitor and her guests had done the same.
Evelyn had never had a complaint about Skyhold's cuisine. Few people actually did; even Dorian and Vivienne enjoyed the delicacies that were usually served when they were not traveling, but today the cooks had outdone themselves. Again, Evey feared none of them had had enough time to rest, and instead had been awake all night preparing this colossal amount of food on such short notice. Even if they had begun the night before, the quantity was still astronomical. Discreetly, she tried to look at Josephine, but the ambassador seemed to be purposefully ignoring her, probably anticipating what she was going to ask. In hindsight, maybe she should have paid attention to the Inquisitor, but by the time she did, it was already too late.
After the staff left the table filled with more food than she would have dreamed, a girl of no more than fifteen years stepped forward to fill her and Sebastian's glasses. The Prince thanked her charmingly, and the blushing girl moved between them to serve Evelyn.
That's when the Inquisitor spoke.
-Hattie, why are you doing this?
The girl stopped her movements, a few inches away from Evelyn's glass, and looked at her with a mixture of amazement and complete embarrassment. She seemed overwhelmed by the fact that the Inquisitor knew her name, and stammered through her words.
-The Lady Ambassador told us about the Prince's arrival,- she whispered, glancing briefly toward Sebastian, completely ashamed and worried that discussing him practically in his presence would be disrespectful. -We volunteered to help.
The Inquisitor smiled, grateful for the girl's desire to help, but nevertheless insisted,
-Have you eaten?
The girl blushed even more, looking toward the kitchen nervously.
-I... I will once I finish here, my Lady. Please don't worry yourself about little old me.
Evelyn then took the pitcher gently but firmly from her hand, and left the glass over the table. The girl completely panicked, her body stiff as if she could physically feel Josephine's eyes on her, just at her back.
-You are finished. Tell the others that as well,- she said, looking at the other members of staff approaching them with filled pitchers. -We are perfectly capable of filling our own glasses. I'll make sure to serve our guests.
The girl seemed torn between doing what the Inquisitor told her, and paying heed to Josephine's previous orders, but Evelyn looked at her again and said,
-Go celebrate and enjoy your breakfast.
Hattie left the table and intercepted the other cupbearers, who looked confused for a minute, but eventually left three more pitchers in front of them and left. A few minutes later, most of them were sitting at a table and having their own breakfast.
Josephine, of course, was entirely high strung. The complete disregard for protocol was making her lose her bearings to the point that she began to stammer while talking to Adair, whom sat next to Sebastian. The idea of not being in control of a social gathering was worrying her, but since they had established the Inquisition, Evelyn had refused to be spoon fed by servants. She could not completely reject the need for them, both for practical reasons and to give the civilians who wanted to contribute something to the organization (and thought the best way was by returning whatever they felt grateful for) some labor of their own. Some cooked, others helped with the crops in the lower lands, soldiers fought, blacksmiths crafted weapons, horse masters and stable boys took good care of the mounts, and some served, but always from a place of respect. No one, from the advisors, to the inner circle, to herself, to the most basic servant, was above another. Skyhold was a community where everyone did their part, and nobody deserved more or less than anyone else. She was not going to begin stepping over those convictions now just because there was a guest among them.
Before she could drink or eat though, Evelyn felt she was being observed, and she raised her eyes to find Sebastian's directly on her. His eyes, almost the color of a pristine zircon, were looking at her with complete admiration.
-You surprise me at every turn, Evelyn. That was admirable, and very gentle of you. I can see why Andraste graced you with her touch.
Without knowing why, she felt embarrassed by his almost worshiping tone. The holy implications of his observation though, broke the spell.
-Believe me, if you knew me better, you'd probably be disappointed.
Sebastian laughed softly, only to place his intense gaze on her once again a moment later.
-I doubt there is anything that you can do to disappoint me, my Lady.
Maker, she needed to change the subject now, especially considering how much attention he was attracting with his eyes fixed upon her and his body turned toward her, ignoring completely the delicacies in front of him and instead looking at her as if she was Andraste, herself.
She looked ahead only to catch Varric and Hawke smirking, looking at them from over their shoulders, and slowly calling the attention of everyone at their table, except perhaps Sera and Cole. One was too busy trying to see how much food she could stuff in her mouth without suffocating, and the other seemed, as usual, lost in thought. And by the look on Solas, who was whispering to him, the spirit was already hearing someone's thoughts on the wind and was, without fail, voicing them inappropriately.
She registered all of this in the span of a second before she looked back at Sebastian, having found the perfect excuse to change the subject.
-My Lady? What happened to leaving the formalities behind us?- She smiled to show that she was teasing him, and not truly annoyed by the way he had fallen into protocol again.
-You are right. I stand corrected,- he said with a smile, raising and lowering his brows comically.
Evelyn had to admit that despite the few moments that she'd felt uncomfortable (most of which not been her or Sebastian's fault), she liked the Prince well enough. He seemed an honest man, intelligent and kind. He was apparently quite able to follow her sarcastic sense of humor, and even enjoyed it, which might have had something to do with the fact that he had traveled alongside Hawke for years, and if there was anyone who could defeat her in that department, it was certainly the Champion of Kirkwall. Still, Sebastian's sense of humor seemed to be more reserved, and not in a way where he would hide it, but in a sense where, at whim, he could make her feel like there was something of which she was not privy or, even more overwhelmingly, as if a secret had been shared privately and everyone else around them was left wondering what it was they had missed. It was enigmatic to say the least, but considering how in need she was of entertaining other thoughts than what had happened less than a day ago, she was grateful that Sebastian turned out to be someone whose company was enjoyable and not only tolerable. Rational or not, she had feared this whole affair would turn out to be like coming out of a Palace filled with nobles, only to greet yet another in her own house.
The next minutes came and went almost in total silence while everyone took a few moments to fill their plates. Josephine grew even more uncomfortable at the sight of the Prince of Starkhaven helping himself to the meal, but before she could offer to call for service, he spoke again.
-I must say, this is refreshing,- he admitted, adding fried mushrooms to the sausages on his plate. -It's been years since the last time anyone allowed me to fill my own plate!- Next to him, Adair rolled his eyes before accepting the black pudding Josephine offered.
When Starkhaven's advisor signaled her to move the tray away along after he hauled a generous amount of its contents to his plate, Josephine extended it to Sebastian.
-Your Highness, would you care for some black pudding? Our chefs prepared it especially for your arrival.
Though she phrased it as a polite offer, she was already serving it before Sebastian could accept or refuse. Still, leave it to Josephine to be serving food in the best maternal style and still look like the ruling lady of a social event. In turn, Sebastian's face seemed to play the corresponding role and, for a second, he winced like a child who had been forced to eat something he did not like, taking great care to hide it from Josephine and making it so fleeting that only Evelyn, to whom the Prince was partially turned toward, caught it.
-Thank you, Lady Montilyet, but though my countrymen are fond of the dish,- he looked purposely at Adair, who was already shoveling it into his mouth like a starved man trying his best to nourish his body after days of neglect, dangerously close to crossing the line between appreciating a fine cuisine and acting like a mabari, -it hasn't ever sat well with me.
Josephine looked truly appalled by this revelation, probably wondering why she had not asked Leliana to investigate what kinds of foods the Prince did and didn't favor.
Actually, her anguish was so noticeable that it was apparently what prompted Adair to try to console her.
-Nae bother,- he said, and immediately took the Prince's plate and scraped the pudding onto his own, leaving a dark, crumby trail behind it that made Sebastian grimace again. Seeing this, and perhaps because he anticipated Sebastian's predictable reaction, he then used a slice of fried bread to soak the remaining black pudding from the plate, placing it in his mouth just before he returned the dish to a highly amused Sebastian with a last declaration of, -More for me, eh, lad?
At this, Sebastian simply nodded and smirked, as if this was the most natural thing in the world. In fact, it seemed the dynamic between the two was so informal that Sebastian himself didn't hesitate to grab his fork and stab (there was no other way to describe it, considering how the plate chinked when the fork hit it) a potato scone on his advisor's plate, raising it to his mouth and biting it with a huge grin dedicated especially to his advisor, who was looking at him completely affronted.
This time, Josephine actually gasped in surprise at their behavior.
-I beg your forgiveness, Lady Ambassador. This is in fact a grand feast, and I'm extremely grateful for it.- He looked down at the table then, and Evey noticed a fleeting devilish smile on his face. Was Sebastian enjoying Josephine's dismay? -A pity there isn't any porridge to go with it.- And then he looked back at Evey and winked in complicity.
The teasing, of course, had the desired effect. Josephine immediately began to raise from her chair, already excusing herself profusely.
-Oh, Your Highness, do forgive me! I can have the cooks prepare a batch immediately.
Sebastian made a gesture to coax her to sit again.
-No, don't make a fuss. This is splendid enough. More than that, actually!
Josephine sat again and blushed terribly in a heady blend of embarrassment and what looked like genuine doubt about whether she had been played or not.
-Yes, my Prince.
Evey noticed then that her ambassador was fidgeting and furrowing her brows in a variety of different scowls, from the faintest expression, to a surprisingly intense one that the Antivan would have never done were she not completely fazed by something. The Inquisitor could almost hear her thoughts from her place at the table. "Maker, how did I forget the porridge?!"
-You are a cruel man, Sebastian Vael,- Evelyn whispered to the amused prince with a smile on her lips that took the edge off of her words, -unusually so, considering you were a Brother of the Chantry.
Sebastian's smile widened.
-I'm sure the past tense would have something to do with that,- he winked. -I meant no harm, though.- And without preamble, he set down the silverite fork and scooped the remains of the scone on his plate into his hand, biting it again.
From two seats ahead, Josephine's unrepressed "Maker" reached them, causing them both to laugh quietly.
-You are practically torturing her. I haven't seen her this flustered since she first watched Blackwall eat, thinking it was a great idea to invite the lonely warden for tea.- Next to them, Adair was complimenting the food, also now eating sans fork whenever he could. Josephine looked like she was about to hyperventilate.
-We Starkhaveners are a simple folk, but I'm afraid my years away from the Chantry might have helped me regain some of my appetite for more… worldly pleasures.- Somehow the way he'd said that had her thinking of anything but food. -And, I admit, between those instances, there might be a bit of teasing, too.
She lowered her eyes to her food, suddenly feeling the need to sever the tie his eyes held on her. Little did she know that another pair of eyes had been set on her since the moment she took a sit, watching carefully over every interaction she had with Sebastian, and hating every minute of it.
Back in Kirkwall, when Cullen had first met Sebastian, after a short couple of hours in the presence of the Prince he had been convinced that if he had heard about Vael's personality instead of actually being there when he was a Brother of the Chantry, he would have never believed the tales were about the same man now having breakfast with them. Four years ago Cullen had felt that, among Hawke's associates, Sebastian was the voice of reason more times than not, except maybe for Captain Aveline Vallen, if due to nothing else than his religious convictions. Whereas Varric was ambitious, Fenris distrustful, Isabella licentious, Carver impulsive, Merrill dangerous and Anders a complete psychopath, at least in Cullen's opinion, Sebastian seemed grounded and, with the logical exception of desiring vengeance on his family's murderers, he always appeared to be the tethered, keeping the band from going short of berserker with such personalities colliding almost constantly.
It was, of course, an outsider's opinion, and even though Cullen might be mistaken about the dynamic of their group, he was sure he wasn't in error when it came to the evaluation of the opinion he'd held toward Sebastian. But now the man seemed transfixed. The innocent, calm and stoic Brother of the Chantry was morphed into a playful, insinuating and charismatic ruler who had apparently decided on conquering something other than lands. What the Prince didn't know was that he was craving something, or someone, that did not belong to him. Maybe she didn't belong to Cullen either, not after how he had behaved, but at the very least he was willing to fight for what he desired most in this life. Evelyn's affections were too important to him to just stand back and leave her at the mercy of some other man.
Perhaps those were the feelings that prompted him into action, without much thought for the consequences of his words.
Sebastian was still chatting with her, seizing every opportunity he had to brush his fingers against hers, or to call her attention with what seemed like too intimate a look in Cullen's opinion to just let it slide.
The Prince was eating scarcely, instead more interested in asking after her family and childhood, or her personal experience in the Chantry, comparing her life constantly to his own, and thanking the Maker out loud that their similarities at last ended before she could say she'd also lost her family.
The situation felt uncomfortably familiar to Cullen, echoing memories of her on a hot night in the Western Approach, playing chess with him and talking about life in a moment so intimate that it rested high up in Cullen's most precious memories.
The idea of Sebastian mirroring himself in a memory held so dear had robbed Cullen of any lingering appetite for his meal. The Commander was barely capable of eating anything, instead too focused on watching Evelyn and the Prince together, and the dismaying fact that he was too far away to courteously cut into their interaction caused his voice raise more than what he had aimed for, choosing to take swift action in the heat of the moment.
He wasn't even bothered that Sebastian was still talking about how chantry services had a tendency to grow monotonous after a time, a life of contemplation purifying ones soul and giving the peace one sought, but lacking any true intellectual challenge unless one occupied a high role in the Chantry hierarchy and needed to mediate between nobles and rulers to placate any conflicts.
-Do you play chess, your Highness?- Cullen asked, leaning over the table to take a good look at the Prince, avoiding Josephine's outraged and scandalous expression at thus interrupting Sebastian.- It's quite an intellectually stimulating game.
Sebastian turned toward the Commander, his face the perfect mask of politeness.
-I played on rare occasions when I was posted on Kirkwall. Not many Chantry Sisters or Brothers indulged in it, and Hawke and our friends favored cards, mostly. But since then, I occasionally play a game or two.
Cullen smiled. It was, to anyone who knew him, a forced smile, and yet lingering behind it was some sense of devious pleasure, just like when he was sparring and could effectively predict his competitor's imminent fall.
-I play religiously.- There was a small twitch in Sebastian's hand at the casual use of that last word.- Weekly with Dorian, and compulsively when I was just a boy. I daresay I know every strategy to win, though it's hard to say for sure with so few opponents on which to test my abilities. Maybe you'll accept a challenge?
Cullen left it there. It was now Sebastian's decision on whether to take the proverbial glove he had thrown. Of course, he knew the Prince didn't actually have an option. To refuse, especially in front of Evey, whom he was clearly trying to impress, would make him look terrible, and Cullen was counting on this, hitting the Prince in his pride to lure him to a game of chess that he could almost feel he had already won.
Before Sebastian could answer though, Cullen felt the tip of a boot kicking him in the shin.
-Maker, Cullen, hush!- were the words that accompanied the aggression. Unfortunately for Josephine, the Commander had on his full armor, and after she kicked him she did her best to hide the pain when her toe hit his greaves.
At Evelyn's side, Leliana sipped her wine, trying to hide her amusement, while Cassandra simply rolled her eyes at Cullen.
The Prince acted as if he had not heard nor seen Josephine's reaction, which had been impossible to miss. He first looked back at Evey and threw her a courteous smile, as if asking her to excuse Cullen for the inappropriate interruption of their lovely talk. It reminded Cullen so much of the way Orleisan nobles would look down upon military figures, as if they were savage oafs, that he had to mentally focus on the many ways he would humiliate Sebastian in their game to satiate his rage. The Prince then turned to Cullen again and lowered his lids almost imperceptibly, looking at the Commander in a way that clearly met his challenge.
-It's been some time since I played, but I would be happy to oppose you.- Unexpectedly, his brogue had thickened, and the more animalistic part of Cullen answered in turn with the burning need to growl at the complacent smile on the Prince's face. Before he could do that though, or even answer, Josephine interrupted them.
The ambassador looked between the men back and forth in the span of a breath before settling her eyes on Sebastian.
-You don't need to do that, your Highness. Let's just have a nice breakfast for now. More wine?- she offered, raising the bottle in Sebastian's direction. The Prince picked up his glass by the stem and allowed her to fill it, his eyes barely leaving Cullen's for a second to thank her with a nod. Seemingly satisfied, Josephine continued, -We can discuss that later.- Then she left the bottle on the table next to Adair's plate, looking back at the Commander with reproach, almost firing lightning at him with her eyes while Evelyn tried her best to ignore the whole scene, drinking from her own glass. -Our Commander does tend to suck the magic out of certain situations.
Josephine had not finished her stinger before the Inquisitor began to seriously fight to not suffocate on her own drink. Contrary to anyone else in the room who thought perhaps Josephine's quip took Evelyn by surprise or that she might have choked because she found it amusing, Cullen unfortunately knew better. Josephine had unwittingly hit the nail on the head, her words reminding him and the Inquisitor what had happened yesterday morning between them, and the real reason why she was now avoiding him with all her might.
Evelyn was leaning over the table, desperate to appear at least a little bit feminine and trying to prevent the liquid from seeping out of her hand (where she had inadvertently spit some back), begging the Maker that the wine did not break a path to her nose in her desperation to breathe again.
To Cullen's absolute rage, Sebastian had found in this the perfect excuse to touch her again, softly patting her back and even leaving his hand there once she recovered, caressing her almost lovingly, while he offered his napkin before she could redraw her hand from her mouth. He even went to the extent of leaning over her, close to her face, to whisper something. Evey nodded in answer while she wiped at her mouth, proving that the Prince had just asked her if she was alright, taking his hand back from her… but not before he could also brush her shoulder in his path.
By then the breakfast was almost over, and everyone's plate (that is, the ones that had actually managed to eat) were already empty. Even the most voracious members of the Inner Circle were amicably talking, ignoring completely the still staggering amount of food lingering in front of them.
Sebastian, apparently, saw the perfect opportunity in this.
-Perhaps a little air will help you.- Then he rose from his chair and extended a hand, bowing slightly toward her. -I'd be delighted to take a tour of your ramparts, Evelyn,- and, with a voice one octave lower, he added, -if you'll have me.
-Are you sure? Wouldn't you rather see your room and get some rest after your travels?- She was genuinely shocked that he didn't elect to leave his seat just to fall headfirst into the presumably luxurious bed ready for him.
-I can rest anytime, but having the company of a woman such as yourself does not happen every day.
Evelyn was still trying to recover from her accident, and this was not precisely helping her to breathe any better, especially when not even a second after his reply, Sebastian was framed by an outraged Cullen, who was purposely ignoring everyone after he leapt from his seat so suddenly that he banged his knee against the table, making everything on it jump, even spilling a few glasses that were too full for their benefit. Sebastian, however, ignored the Commander as if nothing had happened, still leaning toward her with his hand in midair.
After a short hesitation, she began to raise her hand in the Prince's direction, trying furiously to force her face into at least the softest smile on the surface, but still utterly failing. The moment passed in the span of a few seconds, and in that time, Cullen's eyes on her went from indignation to humiliation, only to end up conveying his sheer heartbreak.
Before she could answer in words to Sebastian's proposal, in front of everyone, Commander Cullen Stanton Rutherford abruptly exited the main hall.
His body flinched at the very same moment Evelyn's hand rested in Sebastian's own, as if with that simple gesture, she had physically burned his own palm…
And his very soul.