Chapter 37- Flappy Bird

Tris POV

"Well, sorry doesn't sweden my tea!" Wow. Even when Uriah's mad, he can't control the puns.

"I promise, I didn't eat the last pop-tart! I even bought you more, I don't know where they all went!" Marlene pleads, throwing a pop-tart at Uriah as she says this.

He snatches it out of the air, shoving it in his pocket as he replies, "There's Nor-way that's true."

Marlene sighs, "I didn't do it, I promise!"

"You're going to be in a lot of Spain if you're lying," Uriah says sternly.

"I'm not, I swear it! I'll buy you even more if you more if that's what it takes!" Marlene says, exasperated.

"Hm…" Uriah tilts his head in thought, munching on the pop-tart Marlen threw at him earlier, "I think you're fine."

"Good," Marlene sighs, rolling her eyes.

"Ya know what we haven't done in a while?" Uriah says abruptly after a few moments of silence, causing me and Marlene to look at him while Christina just ignored him.

"What would that be?" Marlene asks nicely.

"Gang hangout!" He squeals like a school girl.

"Dear god, we haven't played that in forever," Christina mutters.

"So it's settled!" Uriah shrieks happily, whipping out his phone and hopefully texting people.

After a bit of the clicking that sinified texting, I start hearing Flap flap flap ding! Flap flap ding!

Oh no.

"Uriah! you're not supposed to be playing Flappy Bird, the doctor said it's driving you insane and could result in you going to a mental institute! STOP IT NOW!" I scream, pouncing on Uriah in an attempt to snatch up his phone.

"Nooo!" Uriah wails, sounding like a injured whale.

~oOo~

Somewhere in the ocean

"Bert, are you okay?" A whale asks another.

"wqbciuwbcibc!" He replies, making an unhappy Uriah noise.

~oOo~

Dauntless Compound; Uriah's flat

"DON'T TAKE AWAY FLAPPY BIRD!" Uriah wails.

"Honey, you need to stop. Have a pop-tart. Here," Marlene offers him a pop-tart, reaching for the phone.

"I HAVE THEM IN MY COAT! FLASH!" Uriah snaps his coat flaps open, brandishing tens of pop-tarts. Tens of flavors.

He bolts towards the door, trying to get away from us, but it flies open, revealing Will, Tobias, Zeke, and Shauna.

"Put. The. Game. Down. Now," Zeke pushes out through his gritted teeth.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Uriah stumbles back, falling over the arm of the sofa and rolling over the edge of it towards the ottoman in a ninja-like way, popping up off the floor and sprinting towards the bedroom door.

"DON'T LET HIM GET THERE! TACKLE HIM!" TOBIAS CRIES, running in what feels like slow-motion towards Uriah's destination.

He's too late.

The door slams closed, leaving us in despair on the opposite side of the door then Uriah is on.

"I will play until my heart's content!" He sniffed, and we began to hear the familiar flap and ding of Flappy Bird.

"What do we do? He can't go back to the Institute," Will groans, "Should we sign him up for rehab? Do they allow that?" Will slides down the wall in defeat.

"I think they have a rehab just for Flappy Bird addicts. I wouldn't be surprised," Christina sighs, slumping against the wall next to Will.

"Could we send him there? He needs help. I also think Casper needs help too. Isn't there one in Amity?" Marlene whimpers, panicking, "Tobias, can't you send me there?!"

"Mar, calm down. We'll help him. It's okay. I know my brother. He'll be okay in the long run. He'll probably be fine tomorr-" Zeke is cut off by Uriah's screaming.

"YOU STUPID-ASS GAME! DANG NABBIT WHY CAN'T I WIN?!"

"Yeah. totally fine by tomorrow," Tobias says drily.

"Can you send him to Amity? You're one of the leaders now!" Marlene cries out, grabbing Tobias' shirt.

"Marlene, chill. Now," I speak up, wrapping my arms around her, "Toby, go get some buff guy to break the door down. Zeke, go get that Casper kid. The more addicts, the more the Amity will have to grant them a place in rehab."

Tobias sighs, walking out of the room in pursuit of a 'buff' guy, while Zeke practically flies out the door and comes back with a whole herd of teens.

"Addicts?" Shauna asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I collected them along the way," Zeke replies while shoving a blond kid forward, "This is Casper."

"I hear it. Where is it? WHERE IS FLAPPY BIRD?!" He shrieks, eyes wide and dilated.

Damn, Flappy Bird sure is Satan.

He pounds on the door, screaming for Uriah to let him and have a go to beat his high-score. Uriah doesn't budge.

"Nice try, but I'm not that stupid!" he replies through the thick wooden door, "I know it's a trick!"

"NO! I MUST PLAY! HELP ME PLEASE!" Casper cries as Tobias pulls him away from the door, his 'buff' friend breaking it door and pulling Uriah out.

Marlene snags his phone, quickly deleting Flappy Bird.

"Mar...How could you..I need it..Mar.." Uriah trails off as he's pulled out of the room along with Casper while the other addicts trail brainlessly after them.

They pile in the train (asn actual ride, not a Dauntless one) the Amity was ever so kind to send for them. Of course, Casper and Uriah were thrown on, but that's besides the point.

They were finally going to rehab.

The train pulls away, and I can hear Casper and Uriah yelling "FLAP FLAP FLAP DING FLAP FLAP DING FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP DING," until I can't hear or see them.

I feel bad for those suckers on the train with them.

"So, who's ready to follow them and see what the hell goes on in that rehab?" Will asks, glancing at all of us.

"Let's do this!" Zeke pumps his fist in the air.

We run after the train, laughing as we playfully shove each other. We've been running for a good amount of time, and start to walk until Will calls: "TRAIN BEHIND US!"

everyone scatters along the edges and start to jog until we feel the wind behind us and sprint our hearts out until we can grab a handle.

We all meet up at the last cart, some of us having to jump carts from ahead to reach the cart.

"So, anyone up for a good game of would you rather? We've got an hour, seeing as we only walked a mile," Will says while glancing at his watch.

"Christina, would you rather do the worm or dougie?" Zeke asks.

The game commences.

"Dougie!" she replies in a duh! voice before she gets up and dougies for a good 2 minutes while we all laugh at how terrible she is.

"Tris, would you rather let Zeke give you a sharpie make over or do the cinnamon challenge?" She wiggles her eyebrows at me.

"Cinnamon challenge!" I grin excitedly. Now I finally have an excuse to try this!

Zeke pulls cinnamon out of the bag he didn't have four seconds ago and tosses it to me along with a spoon.

The only thing weird about that is no one gives it a second glance.

I pour some cinnamon into the spoon, thankful the train is pretty smooth today, and toss Zeke the cinnamon bottle before preparing to put it in my mouth.

I glare at it, as though it will help, and shove it into mouth and holding it there for a good 1.5 seconds before spraying it all over Tobias and scrambling around blindly for water. Finally, someone chucks it at my head and I guzzle it down, faster than I knew was possible.

By the time I regain my senses everyone's laughing at the face Tobias made when I shot spices at him and i can't help but laugh too, even though I didn't see it.

After that little episode, half an hour has passed and I try to carry on the game, "Will, would you rather sing for us or dance for us?"

He cocks his head in thought, before replying cautiously, "Dance."

He starts twerking, something none of us have seen in so long, and I can't help but cry in laughter as he fails miserably, looking like a pregnant giraffe as he attempts the dance.

Soon we're all laughing louder than socially acceptable and almost miss our stop, Amity.

"Land 'ho!" Zeke yells over his shoulder from his perch on the edge of the cart, head out of the train.

We all jump out, running rampant around Amity before seeing a sign labeled, no joke, "The Institute for the mentally insane addicts of Flappy Bird".

Well aren't they creative.

We stroll in there like we own the place, and walk over to what looks like a one-way window, and inside we see al the Dauntless addicts we shoved on the train.

And there is Uriah.

He looks content, just sitting there, eating pop-tarts, but I know.

He turns towards us slowly, head tilted downwards. He mouths words, and of course I understand them.

I'd go to the ends of Chicago to play Flappy bird.

Creepy, yes, but I laugh mercilessly.

You can't take him seriously in a neon pink room surrounded by tattooed teenagers fighting over a stuffed animal.

I love watching Uriah try to be scary.

~oOo~

After a month of 'rehab', the Dauntless punks were finally let out of it and Uriah hated us for another month, but didn't mention Flappy Bird.

I'm ashamed to say I am currently the one sitting in rehab writing this because I fell for Flappy Bird when I actually played it.

DO. NOT. PLAY. THE. GAME. IT MESSES WITH YOU, MAN. MESSES WITH YA.

I'm so sorry I didn't update last weekend, I hope this long chapter made up for it! I know. I'm a terrible person. I don't blame you if you hate me.

REVIEW!

~Ash~

SHOUTOUTS!

multiplefandomgirl- Haha what makes you ask? ;) Maybe I do, maybe I don't.

Cierra- Oh, he's soooo sure? Hm, I guess I'll have to meet him and 'argue' my point. I want a cator dog sooo bad! Lucky! We might clash on the JB part, but that's ok. I'm not judging you. You shouldn't, but I'm such a hypocrite for that….I have a whole page of questions on my account page! you should get an account! Our convos could just be us answering questions! Devos? And that's a lot of study! is it like laid back study? Or like hardcore shut your gobber and listen or give me 20 study? And that is a lot of free time...Only one elective? Whoa. That will be different. What do you mean by faveofite? I love pizza, my favorite animal is a wolf or raven, my fave show is DWho, Sherlock, or Hetalia (anime) and I love music! That was good! Nice! Well, my full name is Ashlynn Harley Jaswell. I love the name Jade. You can do...Cierra Mist...Or Ce-ce ray.

agryffindorgal- Thanks! I love poptarts, I had to show it! I figured that showed it good :)

Sapphire7954- We would be BEST. FRIENDS. like, no joke. We want to know like everything but don't want to push anyone. Weirdly, my BFF was born in Utah! And heck, why not? I have a crush on a boy named Matt, but he's...well….Higher than me in the 'ladder'. He doesn't give a rat's ass about me. He's really sweet though, but looks dark and mysterious….DAMN. Sorry, that was unnecessary. Well, who's your crush? you can gush, it's okay. I live in Illinois, so who am I gonna gossip too? If you ever do come to IL though, email me or review, I'd love to meet you. Pretty fast, I know, but we'd be like inseparable. Only if you like my soul sister. If not than you're satan because you really can't not like her :) Again, who is your crush? I know it sucks to not be able to gush to anyone, so tell em anything, I'll always listen and give you a reply in any shape I can.

Prajnaa- No, they aren't, they're just shoutouts. And I know :( I'm just not into it anymore, which is why I'm ending it at chapter 46. Hopefully it'll end with a bang.

QueenOfStalkers- Oh god...Serious words without Uriah's sexiness as a topic? I PROMISE THERE"S MORE

Clace7- I LOVE ONEREPUBLIC :D

FactionMixer- :)

FOURTRISFOREVAAA- We're besties. You just complimented me. BESTIESSSS STUCK WITH ME FOREVVAAAA Where do you live? what's your name? Welcome to my friendship.

RandomDude111111- NO! Thanks for reviewing. I don't write lemons. And this is a comedy story.

RaspberryPenguin- I love you too! And my existential crisis is that my school is literally a bitch. Like, they merge two elementary schools, then after 3 years split us back up? WTF? My gang is made up of people going to the other school! Only me and my soulsister are going to my school! That's good, because I love her, but 4 of my besties are just up and leaving. It's not cool. Plus, my crush doesn't even care about me. I hate him. But like him. THIS IS WHY I HATE EMOTIONS. WHY FEELS. I DON'T WANT. NOOO. Any love problems with you? That's okay. I get it. Love ya too :) Where do you live? (sorry if I asked you this before)

Blue- Aww that is one of the nicest things anyone's said to me! You're awesome, don't change! Thanks for reviewing (^-^)

Jenifer2000- Sure! sorry this took a while :( I have a lot going on, though I tried! hope this didn't seem rushed.