We pulled out of my driveway with my mom pulling out behind us in her car. We both offered to ride with her but she waved us off like we were out of our minds. Josh even tried laying on the charm, saying how it would be worth it to ride in a cage because he had the two most beautiful passengers in the world. Her eyes softened and I thought that she was going to cave, but she held her ground. I guess in a way it was a good thing because it was safer to put the pies in her car. I looked over my shoulder at her car following us and even from here I could see the content on her face. Even though he was going home tonight I knew there was no bigger fan in my relationship than my mama. Hell she was my biggest fan no matter what the hell I did and I'd always be thankful for that. I think she realized like I did that these next few hours were going to be the last I had with Josh for awhile. We still hasn't discussed the next time we would see each other. My chest got a familiar ache in it and I fought the urge to rub the spot. Its funny, I haven't experienced heart break as much as a lot of people my age but I'll be damn if it hadn't caught up with me over the past few months. I lost Opie, I lost Jax, I gained a friendship I had never had before with my giant best friend and gained a female friend. And I had gained this wonderful man that I was currently wrapped around.

Its unfair for me to beg him to stay even though I knew he couldn't. I wish I could feel okay about begging him to move down here. My life would be so much better if he lived right down the street and working at the garage. Even as much of the thought of him being here pleased me, I knew I couldn't do it. I have never been a selfish person. His whole life was in Tacoma. His family, his club, and his life. Here I was feeling like the newest and yet biggest part of mine was disappearing. I felt my eyes water and I tried to swallow the tears. That didn't help much, all it left me was with a massive lump in my throat that made me feel like I wouldn't be able to talk even if I wanted too. That wasn't the only thing that was bothering me. I felt like I had swallowed lead. My stomach felt heavy and nauseous, which isn't a good thing when you're on the back of a motorcycle. I had a feeling this dinner was going to go super bad. I should have just cancelled on Gemma and continued the plans of having dinner with my mom. My mom was happy for Josh and me, whereas I knew Gemma would never be happy with us being a couple. Even though I was crazy happy with Josh, she felt I belonged with Jax. My happiness isn't even a factor here. Did she not see the pain and anguish that her son was putting me through? How could she possibly still feel that we still belonged together when he was doing this to me? I wiped my eyes against Josh's back. I loved Jax, a part of me would always love him because of the bond we had. But he is the one who threw that away and his mother didn't look at it that way. She felt this was a phase. No woman your son goes through women like water but I was supposed to be around and available when he wised up. How fair was that to me? I snuggled deeper into Josh's back and he placed his hand on my leg. How could she not see how happy he made me? How could she want to split that up? I was afraid of just how far she'd go to make sure she got what she wanted. I know Gem was going to drag my past out on the table like it was the main course. She is going to try to run off what may be the best thing that happened to me since my best friends both stomped on my heart, separately of course I'm not that much of a cliche. I squeezed my arms tighter around Josh, fearing that this would be the last time he allowed me to hold him. I hope he didn't hate me or think I was a slut for falling for both of my friends because that will tear me apart .I could feel his smile even though he wasn't looking at me. He grabbed one of my intertwined hands that were currently resting around his abdomen and brought it to his lips. Some of my worries eased. Lord let us make it through this dinner in one piece.

We pulled into Gemma's and driveway unfortunately a lot sooner than I hoped. Josh hopped off of his bike and turned to help me off. His smile deflated when his eyes landed on me. He teacher out and touched my cheek. I turned my face into it, relishing the feeling of his hands on me . He helped me off of his bike and I let out a loud sigh. Ithink he picked up that something was wrong because he pulled me against his chest and held me.

"This goodbye isn't forever baby. Trust me. It won't be long before you're back into my arms again where you belong. Please don't look so sad. We will be okay." When he said that I started to cry, big ugly tears at that. He leaned down and kissed my head.

"We still have time baby doll. Lets get through this dinner and then we have a little bit of time to spend before I have to go."

"Josh, there's something I need to tell you. I want you to hear it from me..." he tucked my hair behind my ear. I took a deep breath and just as I opened my mouth to speak my mom walked up with the pies in her hand. Josh's attention was quickly drawn from me as he took in my mother struggling with four pies. He quickly reached out and took them from her. She started to walk him into the house, she glanced over her shoulder at me. I wanted to cry again when she gave me that look that said be cool. Don't ruin it. I leaned against Josh's bike and wiped under my eyes, hoping that no make up ran down my face. I took a couple deep breaths trying to get myself together. Gemma pounces on weakness. I barely got five minutes to myself when Gemma popped her head out the door.

"You know the party is inside right?" I nodded and slowly started walking into the house. I was hoping to feel like the weight had lifted but instead it felt like it plummeted deeper into my stomach. I looked up at the ceiling and did one more silent prayer before walking in. Lets get this over with.

Honestly so far things were going good. Everyone was hanging out as dinner got finished. Josh was never far from my sight and when he was, whenever I looked at him his eyes were always on me. Then he broke out in a grin that said he didn't give a shit about being caught. So i would stick my tongue out at him and continue my conversations that I was involved in. He told me at the jail that he liked staring at me, he wasn't joking. I didn't mind it though, it was nice to finally feel like a priority to someone. Maybe this was my shot at becoming an old lady. Maybe Josh was just what I needed. Everyone was here. Opie and Donna were the last to arrive and they were making the rounds to greet everyone. I looked over at Josh and gave him the same big smile he was giving me. Maybe this dinner would go okay after all.

Shit really didn't hit the fan until about halfway through dinner. Josh was on my right, my mom was on my left. Everyone was laughing and jokes were spreading around the table. My stomach finally started to relax when it all went to hell. It was actually Luanne, who unintentionally stirred the pot. I never minded Her. A lot of the town folk gave her hell because of her job but Luanne was one of my favorite ole ladies and not just because we had the same name. She would always listen to me if I ever needed it. Always had my back if needed too. I felt so bad Big Otto couldn't be here, she was so much more light and happy when he was around.

"So Faith, who's this hot little number you have here?" My cheeks heated in embarrassment. He grabbed my hand under the table and gave it a squeeze, silently reassuring me that everything was okay. I wanted to laugh at the fact that be pretty much just acknowledged that a lady, probably close to twice his age thought he was a hot little number.

"This is Josh, my boyfriend. " Gemma spit out her drink. I wasn't sure why. She flat out said as much as the garage the other day. So why was it a big thing here in front of everyone? I took a quick glance at my mother and her whole body language changed. Her grip on her fork was so intense her knuckles were white. She looked like she was debating on whether to say anything and she lost that battle. I placed my hand over hers and gave her a small squeeze.

"Yes her man is there a problem with it Gemma?" Gemma lifted her fork in the air and contemplating the bite she was about to say. Finally she looked dead at me with a smug smirk on her face and my heart dropped to my feet.

"Just thought she got over my son awful quick. Maybe she's rushing into this because shes rebounding." I felt the tears well up in my eyes. She had been there throughout all of my mixed feelings about Jax. All of the times he walked into the office and acted like I didn't exist. So why the show now? Josh. She wanted him to walk away. God I had been right. She wanted him out of my life.

"You must be mistaken. There was never a relationship between your son and my daughter." Gemma took a bite of her salad slowly chewing it. I wished the floor would have opened up and swallowed me. Why did I have to come to this stupid fucking dinner in the first place? Why didn't my mom let me talk to him outside? I should have prepared him. God hes gonna leave me.

"Really I must have got confused when I walked in on them half naked all over each other. Or did you not know that" I pushed my plate away and put my head in my hands. I looked at my mom silently begging her to let it go. I couldn't even look at Josh. I couldn't face what might possibly be filling his face right now. I couldn't take disappointing him. I should have told him. I didn't think it was really a big deal. It was over and done before Josh and I were even a thing. My mom smiled and reached over and patted my back.

"Oh I knew. I also knew that your son treated her like shit after all of that and they didn't sleep together Gem, unfortunately for you. All of this was way before Josh showed up so why bring it up now?"

"Just wondering if mister man cared about being the rebound thats all."

"Actually, I think I'm the lucky one here. When I first set eyes on her in the parking lot I knew I had to talk to her. When I was told she wasn't taken I could have pissed myself in excitement. So I'm damn thankful I get the chance to be the smartest mother fucker here and make her mine." He looked straight at Gemma when he spoke then went back to eating his dinner like nothing happened.

"Can we get back to dinner without any more drama? Woman you're getting worse with this shit. She's like my daughter and if shes happy then we all need to be." Clay's booming voice cut out the rest of the chatter at the table. I couldn't help but smile at him and he gave me a wink. Gemma looked smoldering at being corrected in front of everyone but she didn't say a word. Josh reached back under the table and squeezed my hand again and for the first time since wd started over here the lead in my stomach went away. Maybe things will be okay after all.

We made it through the rest of dinner unscathed, matter of fact Gemma didn't directly speak to either of us after the incident at the table. But knowing her as well as I did, I knew she wouldn't apologize. She never does. I gave everyone a hug bye. My mom held me longer. I still felt the heat coming off of her so I knee that Gemma may have done some serious damage to their friendship tonight. My mom was a lot of things, but she was mostly my mom. Always my protector.

"I'm going to head home. Don't rush home baby I know he has to leave shortly. Make good choices and remember that he will be back. I can tell by how he looks at you. I'm glad you didn't end up with either of those two knuckleheads that you call your friends. That man you got is just that, a man and I can tell he has some deep feelings for you already. " i felt my eyes water at hrr statement but she shook her head and wiped the tear that fell.

"Mom you don't know that were going to make it. " she smiled at me like I was crazy. She patted my head like she does when I've said something ridiculous.

"A mother knows lots of things baby. Go have fun. To enjoy your man before he has to go home." She left me to go walk over to him. I stayed where I was for a few minutes and watched their interaction unable to hear it. She placed his head in her hands and then pulled him into a hug. He just grinned and looked over at me and in that moment the weight of our relationship hit me and I realized that I hoped I got to see that smile the rest of my life.

finally the rock has come back...jk jk. But for some odd reason it wss the first thing that popped in my head when I started to write this. Two songs that pretty much replayed the whole chapter were tennessee whiskey by Chris stapelton i think? and beautiful crazy by luke combs theyre country but they fit. So make sure to let me know what u think yall know i live for that shit lol did we watch the mayans? What did we think?