Ooh, I was quite quick wasn't I? And for a specific reason too; Phexy, this one is for you! I have you in my thoughts and I truly wish that your hard times will go easy on you. If that makes sense.

For everyone else; read and review, yeah?

CHAPTER 37

I had a restless night. I didn't dream of anything specific but when I woke up that morning and looked at the ceiling of my four poster bed I knew exactly why I had slept so badly. I drew the curtains from around my bed and saw Mathilda was already up. She was usually up before me. The other girls were still asleep.

I had a quick shower, brushed my teeth and slipped into my uniform. I took a look into the mirror. My hair was still damp, hanging limp off my scalp and I had shadows beneath my eyes. I sighed. I looked like I felt. I swung my bag over my shoulder and walked out the dormitory.

The common room was empty if it wasn't for Mathilda reading a book on the sofa, her head on the armrest and her in tight clad legs stretched across the length of the piece of furniture. 'You're up early.' She said as she looked up from her book. 'I suppose.' I answered dully.

'Is it because of Felix?' She asked and I groaned. She had a concerned look on her face but because I knew her for so long I could tell that she was suppressing a smirk. 'I don't know what to do.' I gave in and she made room on the sofa for me and I sat at the other end as she straightened up a bit, putting her book aside. 'What are you reading?' I asked. 'A book your dad recommended to me last summer when I was at yours.' She said, flashing me the cover. 'Blame it on Morgana by Oswald Spunk.' She added.

'That's a great book actually!' I said, cheered up momentarily by the memory of the book. 'How are you liking it so far?' I questioned and she smiled. 'I'm liking it just fine! But right now I would like even more to talk about this little Felix-issue we're dealing with.' She continued and I made a noise of disappointment.

'Why are you so upset?' She asked and I was more aware than ever that Mathilda and I had distinctly different views on life. 'Because Felix and I have become great friends. This'll ruin it.' I told her. Mathilda raised her left eyebrow at me. 'Do you want your snog to ruin it?' She questioned and I snorted because I figured it was a joke but she kept completely serious. 'What-? No! Of course not!' I replied her when I realised she wasn't joking. 'Then don't let it!' Mathilda cried out, leaning forward and patting my shoulder. 'It's only as awkward as you allow it to be. If you want to snog him again, do that, if you don't, by all means don't.' She talked fast. 'But tell him and let that be it. He's a reasonable chap.' I was quiet for a moment but then nodded. 'You're right. Felix will understand.'

When we went down to breakfast I wasn't so sure anymore. I kept my eyes on my oatmeal, refraining from looking at the Hufflepuff table. Felix and I were supposed to meet up to study after breakfast but I was afraid I couldn't even look at him right now. It was easy to say for Mathilda that I didn't have to feel embarrassed but it was a whole other thing to actually not feel as such.

'Felix is getting up.' Mathilda supplied from my left. I took a shuddering breath, standing up myself, grabbing my bag from under my seat. 'Good luck Cecil.' She whispered to me before I walked off. I couldn't even smile at her. I just nodded absentmindedly.

'Good morning!' Felix beamed at me as we crossed path by the big doors. 'I hadn't realised you were such a morning person.' I said, slightly more moody than I intended. He chuckled. 'I'm not, not really.' He replied. 'It's just a good morning, I suppose.' He told me. I didn't know what to answer.

'So, library?' Felix suggested. He had a pleasant smile on his face and I tried to replicate it but felt like I just looked constipated. 'Yeah, alright.' I answered, looking away from him and at my feet instead.

We walked up the stairs in silence. I felt him steal glances at me sometimes but I kept my eyes trained at my Oxford's, my cheeks burning. I didn't know how to behave. Did he want to pretend it didn't happen, like I kind of did? Or did he want to talk about it? Felix and I always talked a lot but this was a very new subject.

We were still silent as we settled down at one of the tables in the library, right next to the window so the pale morning light shone onto the pages of our textbooks as we pulled them out of our bags and opened them in front of us. We sat right beside each other. This is silly – I thought to myself. I'd like to believe we were great friends. Surely we could survive something like this. 'Are you feeling excited for the Weird Sisters bringing out a new album next week?' I asked. I almost winced at my cowardly choice of subject.

Felix looked up from his book, his eyebrows raising up at the question. 'Incredibly excited. They are one of my favourite bands.' He answered nonetheless, an awkward smile playing around his lips. He leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table. 'Are you excited?' He asked, a laugh escaping him as he looked at me from beneath his soft curls. I was feeling far too tightly wound to laugh. It was silent for another moment as I forgot to reply to his question.

'Oh to bloody hell with it!' Felix exclaimed and he turned to me completely. My eyes widened and he leaned in, capturing my lips with his. He took his arms off the desk, his left hand gently resting on my cheek as he used his right to steady himself on the back of my chair. I closed my eyes automatically in surprise and when he moved his mouth to mine I felt my heart bang away against the inside of my chest as I leaned into the kiss myself.

For a moment I let myself enjoy this new sensation but then I remembered myself and ripped myself away from him. 'I don't think this is a good idea, Felix.' I murmured, my cheeks burning. Felix' ears were red too. 'Why not?' He countered. 'It was an alright kiss if you ask me.' He joked nervously and I chuckled uncomfortably. 'Yeah, that was good.' I reluctantly agreed. 'It's just that, you know..' I began. 'After the whole thing with Fred.. I don't want to get into anything like that again.' I explained to the best of my ability. I felt tense as I said it. What if Felix wouldn't get it, be offended? I studied him as he sat back, shrugging his shoulders lightly. 'Then we don't.' He agreed simply. I felt relief wash over me at those words. Felix was understanding as always.

We returned to our studies after that and I felt so soothed from my anxiety for that moment that I stayed quiet in content, scratching away at my parchment with my quill. It could just be a one-time thing. Never to happen again. It was captured by the Leap Day magic, to always stay in Leap Day. Felix must've felt similarly because he too did not utter a single word for the rest of our study session.

We sat next to each other in Muggle Studies like always and we joked and laughed together in the back of class anytime the professor looked away and after class we said goodbye with a smile as we made our way to our own house tables for lunch. 'You seem happy.' Mathilda muttered to me as I sat down next to her. She glanced over her shoulder towards the Hufflepuff table. 'Did you get another snog in with Felix?'

I shushed her immediately, looking around to see if anyone overheard. I didn't think anyone did. 'No, we did not!' I hissed at her. Mathilda looked disappointed. 'I really thought you might.' She said. 'Well we didn't.' I replied. 'He kissed me once but I stopped him and explained to him I wasn't looking for anything like that and that last night was a mistake and he was totally okay with that.' I told her triumphantly. She looked sceptical. 'He is, is he?' She just said. 'I decided to ignore her phrasing as I grabbed a bread roll from the basket in front of me, only to drop it with a yelp when the ghost of the Grey Lady floated up through the table.

The next morning it was Saturday and because I slept in I missed the post. I woke up when an owl I didn't know tapped against one of the dormitory windows. It took a moment for me to realise what was going on and when I finally did I first stretched and yawned and only then got up slowly, opening the window while rubbing my eyes. An owl with the national post office owlery seal on a pouch on its front hopped inside, looking slightly huffy as it presented me with the post. 'Don't be miffed, I have a treat for you.' I murmured at the owl, still sleepy.

I took out the letter from the pouch, afterwards making my way over to my trunk to take out some owl treats. The owl picked them out of the palm of my hand appreciatively before taking off again through the window. I sat on my bed, huddling underneath my blankets, before looking at the envelope. The handwriting was only slightly familiar but it wasn't until I turned it around and saw the return address that I realised it was my grandfather, my mum's father, who had sent me a letter. I couldn't remember the last time that he had.

Dear Cecilia,

How have you been since your return to Hogwarts after Christmas? I trust you are doing well in all your classes and all your professors are satisfied with your efforts.

With your spring holidays coming up I'm writing to invite you to the manor to spend the week with me. The gardens will be well on their way to blooming by early April and there are many long beautiful walks to be had up the mountain. Owl me your reply whenever you have had time to consider my proposal.

Yours sincerely,

Malcolm Reekes

Grandfather wanted me to come over to Reekes Manor over Easter break? I was quite flabbergasted by the news, so much so that I didn't feel tired at all anymore. I put the letter aside and glanced at my alarm clock. It was ten-fifteen. Well enough, time to get up anyway.

Mathilda was equally confused when I told her of Grandfather's sudden request. 'No offence, but I didn't think he cared much about you at all. Why would he suddenly ask you to stay with him?' She asked. We were walking the grounds, hoping to suck some fresh air into our lungs before seeking refuge from the still cold winds inside our castle walls. March was not nearly warm enough to spend any extended period of time outdoors, but we had been cooped up in the castle for months now and just having a walk felt wonderful.

I wasn't offended by Mathilda's words. 'I know, it's just so strange!' I replied. 'Did I tell you about Christmas? He pretty much asked me to stay then too. I just figured he didn't really mean it.' I reminded her and she hummed in agreement. 'And your birthday! He almost never shows up to your birthday but he was there last time.' Mathilda added and I nodded. 'Peculiar.' I said.

'So are you going to say yes?' Mathilda asked. I wasn't sure. 'I don't think I can. Mum wouldn't approve.' I replied. 'Oh yeah, she kind of hates him, doesn't she?' Mathilda said and I shrugged. 'No, she doesn't hate him, I think, it's just complicated. She doesn't really want me or Aidan getting to know him though.'

Before either of us could say any more we were splashed by the Giant Squid that suddenly reached one of its long slimy tentacles out of the water as if to give us a playful fright. We ran back inside before we could catch a cold.

At dinner I felt relaxed. It was a day of doing nothing and I knew I had to make up for it the next day by finishing all my homework for the next week at once, still though, I thought the feeling of happy content was worth it. I lazily went up to the common room, tiredly read a book, fell asleep by the fireplace and was hoisted up by Mathilda again who told me to get my arse into bed. I slept deeply and dreamlessly.

At breakfast I ran into Felix as we both came into the Great Hall. 'How are you!' I called out, still feeling upbeat after my Saturday of unwinding. 'I'm alright.' Felix answered although his smile was a bit more demure than I was used to seeing. 'Are you sure? You seem a bit off.' I commented and he shrugged listlessly. 'I just didn't sleep well.'

For a moment I felt like he wasn't telling me something but I shook off the feeling right after. There was no reason to believe such a thing. I put on a smile. 'I have some homework to catch up on. You want to join me in the library today?' I asked toothily. He had a thin smile of his own on display but it didn't reach his eyes. 'Thanks but I have some other things I need to do.' He only said before saying goodbye and joining his friend Peter for breakfast at the Hufflepuff table. I had a strange feeling come over me. He must have had a very bad night of sleep indeed.

I didn't see much of Felix in the days after. We shared our Defence Against the Dark Arts class and Transfiguration class on Monday and Tuesday but I sat with Mathilda and he sat with Peter and although we smiled at each other from across the room, he came in at the last moment and left as one of the first so there was no opportunity to talk to him.

I felt uncomfortable about it, not able to pinpoint whether he just had a busy couple of days and it meant nothing or if there was something else. It wasn't hard to see what that something could be. Why did I even kiss him? I was feeling sad and weak and I shouldn't have, but I did. I had gone and made it awkward. Mathilda told me to just ask him about it. I got red in the face even considering confronting a situation this humiliating.

'You're making too big a deal of it.' Mathilda said as she slurped up spaghetti from her fork as we had dinner. 'Mathilda, let off.' I murmured, picking at my own food. I didn't want to talk about it too much to begin with but Adrian was sitting with us and it made it all the more mortifying. 'Tilly is right, though.' Adrian jumped in.

'You're friends with the bloke, aren't you? He just doesn't know how to talk to you now.' He supplied. I glared at Mathilda. She rolled her eyes. 'I've apologised, what else can I do? I didn't mean for Adrian to overhear but he has so maybe listen to what he says.' She told me decidedly. Adrian had accidentally heard my complaints about Felix when he tried to sneak up on Mathilda.

I groaned, putting down my fork. 'Wiggleswade, Cecilia, don't fret, he's just some soft Hufflepuff twat anyway, who cares.' Adrian added. 'Okay, don't listen to him after all.' Mathilda recanted. 'I'm not hungry anymore.' I announced.

I left the Ravenclaw table and heard the couple pester each other as I stalked off. Outside the Great Hall I stopped walking, taking a deep breath. It was just a bit stuffy in there, I felt. When was my life going to become easy? I ruined it myself too, which was probably the most frustrating part of this whole situation. Felix had done nothing wrong. It had all been me.

I heard a sound coming from my left and I jumped in fright at first, having been deep in thought. I wasn't sure what I heard until I took a few steps forward and made out two figures snogging against the wall between two pillars. I almost laughed that I had scared myself so much with something this foolish but the laugh died on my lips. 'Stacy!?' I shrieked appalled.

The two bodies sprung apart and it were indeed Stacy and her boyfriend (whose name I still didn't know). 'Cecilia!' She called out as if nothing had happened, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and flattening her robes. 'How are you?' She asked stupidly.

'How are- what?' I asked befuddled. 'What were you doing?' I questioned. The boy next to her was scratching the back of his neck, not saying anything, but Stacy started frowning. 'Do I need to explain this to you?' She answered cheekily, turning up her nose snootily. 'Merlin Stacy, you're only twelve.' I hissed, stepping forward and pulling her aside, away from that dull boyfriend that was just gaping at us.

'So? Aunt Wendy says to embrace everything life throws your way!' She protested and I rolled my eyes. 'Why would you listen to everything she says?' I said, in the meantime wondering since when Stacy was so close to my mum anyway, and she frowned at me in a very twelve-year-old way. 'Why would I listen to everything you say?' She replied and I huffed. 'I'm just saying that mum doesn't always know best, nor do I or your parents.' I try to say, but it was visibly not coming across. 'Why should you lecture me, I've seen you with those boys you know!' She exclaimed and I felt the blood rushing to my face. 'What?' I replied dumbly.

'The boys! One of those Weasley twins and Cassius Warrington from my own house and that Hufflepuff you say you're just friends with.' She laid out the evidence and for a moment I was stunned into silence before I caught myself, putting aside for now that my first year cousin had just listed off every boy I had ever kissed to me like it was public record. How did she know? 'I'm sixteen and what I decide to do or not do with boys is entirely my business.' I said, I hoped in a stern tone but by the glare she gave me I could deduce she was not impressed. 'So, you won't mind me owling Aunt Wendy then?' She asked and all the blood that had shot up to my face earlier shot out again and I paled.

'Don't!' I called out, slightly too desperately. 'Then stay out of my way!' She spoke before dashing past me, grabbing her boyfriend's wrist and dragging him along into the dungeons. I stared after them with a blank mind. I really had no room for this as well, with everything else that was already going on in my life.

For the rest of the week I started feeling increasingly anxious the less I saw of Felix and even that Friday in Muggle Studies I felt like something was different. He sat next to me like he always did but he diligently took notes like he never usually did (he grew up as a muggle for Merlin's sake) and was focussed on class, only talking to me when he answered a question I asked him.

I was getting so insecure about the whole ordeal that I didn't even tell Mathilda about it to the full extent. If she knew how worried I felt she'd never leave me alone about it and I really wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I spent most of the weekend hauled up in the common room and dormitory, doing homework, reading a book, playing Exploding Snap with my year mates, but not venturing out except for meals. I had come to the point where I wanted to avoid Felix as much as he seemed to avoid me.

On Monday we only shared Defence class. I sat next to Mathilda like always and I looked up every time new people came into the classroom. Just before Umbridge closed the door, Felix ran in. He sat down across the room, next to his best friend Peter. He glanced my way and I smiled at him, giving him a small wave. He returned it, briefly smiling before turning his eyes to his desk. His shoulders were hunched over, his arms crossed against his chest. My stomach knotted.

It was a long and boring class and I was prepared not to talk to Felix again but at the end of it, as everyone was lazily putting their books back into their bags I had a chance. I had Arithmancy after and I was looking forward to my favourite subject; I wouldn't have to think as much. I already saw Felix swinging his bag across his shoulder and making his way to the door when to my right I heard Mathilda yell out; 'Oi, Felix, mate!'

Felix looked up and I saw hesitation flash across his face before he walked up to us. I felt absolutely mortified. 'What are you doing!?' I hissed at Mathilda but she ignored me and there was no time to press her because Felix was in front of us. 'Hey girls.' He said with a lopsided smile. 'We were just talking that we haven't seen you in a while so come sit with us at lunch, won't you?' Mathilda suggested.

Felix made a face. 'Yeah, sorry, I've been busy. I actually already have plans for lunch.' He said. I felt my heart clench. 'But next time?' He asked not really waiting for an answer because Mathilda had barely uttered a 'Sure,' before he turned on his heels and stalked out of the classroom, his shoulders visibly stiff. 'Oh wow.' Mathilda muttered.

That evening at dinner I was silent. Mathilda didn't say much to me, just some encouraging words for me to take another bite of my potatoes or have another sip of my pumpkin juice. 'He'll come around. He's just feeling awkward.' Mathilda whispered sweetly.

I was taking a long time to finish my dinner but Mathilda sat with me dutifully, just flipping through the latest edition of Spella Weekly as she waited on me. The Great Hall slowly emptied out which was fine by me, I happily sat all alone in the gigantic atrium of the school, but a commotion in the Entrance Hall just outside caused all remaining at dinner to look up bewildered. A shrill shriek was heard.

It wasn't the kind of shriek that you sometimes heard in the school; a delighted yell or a startled scream from students teasing each other whenever possible. This shriek was genuine and made my blood freeze in my veins. Potter's Quibbler interview as well as the Azkaban escape ran through my mind before I squashed it down. There was no need to panic. I stood up, much like most others still sitting in the Great Hall. 'Let's see what's going on.' I said to Mathilda.

As we ran to the doors there was another scream and we ran out to see a crowd gathered in the Entrance Hall. I couldn't see past the first couple of rows of people but Mathilda pulled my elbow and led me to the marble staircase. We stopped halfway up, looking down to see that the crowd had formed a circle around a woman I didn't immediately recognise as her face was contracted in a sob that I had never seen on her face before. After a second I realised it was Professor Trelawney.

I never took Divinations and therefor never had Trelawney as a teacher but Marietta and Cho did and they told me that Trelawney was a questionable teacher. She had a lot of knowledge on her subject but was too far up herself to really teach it. Now she was howling into her sherry bottle, taking a big gulp as she swung her wand around aimlessly, not casting any spells. Her hair was sticking up and her thick glasses were sat crooked upon her nose. At her feet lay two suitcases, one of them upside down, as if they had been thrown down there. I didn't know what had caused her distress until I spotted Professor Umbridge standing at the edge of the circle.

'You can't be serious!' Trelawney yelled out and Umbridge smiled a smile that made a shiver run down my back. 'I'm very serious.' She answered. Despite the hundreds of students crammed into the space, it was quiet enough to hear every word.

'No!' Trelawney shrieked out, moving the sherry bottle so rapidly that the liquid splashed from the top. 'NO! This cannot be happening.. It cannot.. I refuse to accept it!' But Umbridge was not impressed. 'You didn't realise this was coming?' She asked innocently, a sugary tone to her voice, the kind that gave you a toothache. 'Incapable though you are of predicting even tomorrow's weather, you must surely have realized that your pitiful performance during my inspections, and lack of any improvement, would make it inevitable you would be sacked?' Umbridge told her and although she wasn't all that wrong, Trelawney was fairly incompetent as far as I knew, I still couldn't believe that she could be so mean towards another witch.

'You c-can't!' Professor Trelawney cried out, tears streaming down her face from behind her enormous lenses, 'you c-can't sack me! I've b-been here sixteen years! H-Hogwarts is m-my h-home!'

'It was your home,' corrected Professor Umbridge and I felt disgusted as I noted the enjoyment on her face as she looked at Trelawney sinking down to sit on top of her trunk, 'until an hour ago, when the Minister of Magic countersigned the order for your dismissal. Now kindly remove yourself from this hall. You are embarrassing us.'

I saw that several students had started crying alongside Trelawney, mainly younger students. It was an abhorrent sight and I felt my own eyes sting in empathy for the moaning woman at the centre of the circle, rocking back and forth as she clutched the bottle to her chest.

Suddenly Professor McGonagall broke away from the crowd and strutted up to her colleague, bending down slightly to give her a couple of hearty pats on the back, handing her a handkerchief that she had pulled from her robes. 'There, there, Sibyll.. Calm down.. Blow your nose on this.. It's not as bad as you think, now.. You are not going to have to leave Hogwarts..'

'Oh really, Professor McGonagall?' Umbridge interjected venomously, stepping forward as well, quite intimidating despite her small, pink frame. 'And your authority for that statement is..?' and before Professor McGonagall could answer the large oak front doors swung open, the students in front of them hurrying out of the way and a deep voice boomed from the opening; 'That would be mine,' Headmaster Dumbledore said, having appeared in the entrance.

I had very little to do with the headmaster throughout my time at Hogwarts but the wizard was legendary and never before had I seen with my own eyes what an impressive stature he made as he stood there illuminated by the torches against the wall, the misty night behind him making him stand out even more so. I couldn't imagine what he was doing outside on this cold evening but his arrival had definitely been awe-inspiring.

He stalked forward decisively, leaving the front doors open behind him, and made his way through the circle of students, everyone scuttling aside to leave open a path for the elderly wizard. 'Yours, Professor Dumbledore?' said Umbridge with a cold laugh. 'I'm afraid you do not understand the position. I have here' — she pulled a scroll of parchment from within her robes and held it out for Professor Dumbledore to see — 'an Order of Dismissal signed by myself and the Minister of Magic. Under the terms of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts has the power to inspect, place upon probation, and sack any teacher she — that is to say, I — feel is not performing up to the standard required by the Ministry of Magic. I have decided that Professor Trelawney is not up to scratch. I have dismissed her.'

Dumbledore didn't seem to disagree, simply smiling at Umbridge as she continued to hold up the scroll. 'You are quite right, of course, Professor Umbridge. As High Inquisitor you have every right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to send them away from the castle. I am afraid that the power to do that still resides with the headmaster, and it is my wish that Professor Trelawney continue to live at Hogwarts.' The professor said with a slight bow and Trelawney let out a strange laugh

'No — no, I'll g-go, Dumbledore! I sh-shall l-leave Hogwarts and s-seek my fortune elsewhere —' she said dramatically but Dumbledore shook his head sharply. 'No,' he said shortly. 'It is my wish that you remain, Sibyll.' He turned to McGonagall. 'Might I ask you to escort Sibyll back upstairs, Professor McGonagall?' he asked the Gryffindor Head o House. 'Of course,' said McGonagall before turning to Trelawney fully. 'Up you get, Sibyll..'

Professor Sprout jumped forward as well and grabbed one of Trelawney's arms as McGonagall grabbed her other, together hoisting her up. They pulled her forward, past Umbridge, neither of them looking at the puffy pink monstrosity as they led her up the stairs. When they passed Mathilda and I, I could smell the sherry on the former Divinations professor. She looked a tear-y mess. Downstairs Professor Flitwick waved his wand, speaking a clear 'Locomotor trunks!' Trelawney's luggage rose up in the air and swiftly followed after her, Flitwick moving them upstairs with his raised wand.

Professor Umbridge in the meantime looked murderous. Professor Dumbledore was still smiling calmly at her as he looked at her from above his glasses, waiting for whatever she had to say. 'And what,' she whispered (although everyone could hear her) 'are you going to do with her once I appoint a new Divinations teacher who needs her lodgings?'

'Oh that won't be a problem,' The headmaster pleasantly replied. 'You see, I have already found us a new Divinations teacher, and he will prefer lodgings on the ground floor.' He told her and Umbridge looked momentarily shocked. 'You've found— ? You've found? Might I remind you, Dumbledore, that under Educational Decree Twentytwo—' '—the Ministry has the right to appoint a suitable candidate if — and only if — the headmaster is unable to find one, and I'm happy to say that on this occasion I have succeeded. May I introduce you?' Professor Dumbledore turned towards the still open front doors and every face in the Hall turned with him, eyes focussing on the entrance.

We could hear hooves and a befuddled murmur went through the students, those closest to the door quickly moving further backward, some of them tripping over themselves in their hurry, to clear a path for the new figure emerging from the dark mist.

In the entrance stood a creature I had never seen before in my life although I instantly knew what he was; a centaur, one with pale-blond hair and strikingly blue eyes, his masculine torso joining together with the golden body of a horse. 'This is Firenze,' Dumbledore announced joyously to an astonished Umbridge and by extension the rest of the onlookers. 'I think you'll find him suitable.'

Umbridge was speechless and it took several moments for her to react. When she did, it wasn't elegant. She merely let out a gratifyingly frustrated huff before turning on her heels and storming off in the direction of her office, stomping past us on the stairs. The rest of the spectators kept staring at the centaur in our Entrance Hall with equal perplexity before Professor Snape suddenly spoke up, waving his arms in his usual imposing manner. 'The show is over, get back to your common rooms before I start taking points!'

That was enough for most students to wake up from their stupors and hurry off with some last curious glances across their shoulders. Same went for Mathilda and I. We turned, Mathilda meanwhile whispering to me 'I bet Umbridge waited for dinner so she'd have the biggest audience for her spectacle,' and we ran headfirst into Felix and Peter. 'Cecilia!' Felix called out at the same time as I cried 'Felix!'. 'We were just on our way to our common room.' Peter explained but Felix ignored him. 'Sorry, Cecil, could I talk to you for a moment?' He asked urgently. 'Yes!' I eagerly agreed.

Mathilda gave me an encouraging nod and I saw Peter do the same for Felix and it made me feel silly about the whole thing. 'Let's get out of Snape's way.' Felix said to me as he gestured to the Potions professor who was snapping at students that didn't disperse quick enough. Professor Dumbledore was shaking the hand of the centaur, looking up at his tall stature. 'This night's insane. I almost wish I took Divinations.' I muttered. 'Quite.' Felix agreed quietly. I saw a smile slip onto his face. We hurried up the stairs.

'I'm sorry for the past week or so. I just needed to clear my head but it wasn't fair on you.' Felix hastily spat out. We weaved through students as they all made their way to the common rooms, loudly talking about what they'd just seen. They were mostly Gryffindors and Ravenclaws as they were the only two houses that lived up in the towers. 'No, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have kissed you! It was selfish, I was just feeling sad and you were there!' I apologised in turn to Felix. He smiled bitterly as we continued to zigzag past our peers.

We weren't quite running but we were walking a lot faster than everyone else as we raced ahead, higher and higher up into the castle. We hadn't talked it through but I knew that we both wanted to be alone. Up on the third floor, we took a right, slowing our pace. We were heading towards the Charms corridor which was out of the way of any student heading to their common room. Felix stopped walking and I halted as he did. 'You want to sit for a bit?' He asked, already starting to sit down himself in the nook in the middle of the corridor. 'Yes, alright.' I agreed, sitting next to him.

We sat next to each other on the wide ledge, our backs to the window, and I had no idea what to do. He looked uncomfortable as well, he kept opening his mouth only to close it again. Finally he turned to me completely, putting his knee on the stone ledge so he could face me better. 'You know I like you, right?' He asked suddenly.

I nearly choked in my own breath as I looked at him wide-eyed. 'No, surely, you don't.' I corrected him shakily. He laughed, although it was a bit strained. 'That's a peculiar answer.' He commented. I wanted to protest, tell him to get his head spelled on right, but he cut me off by catching my hands in his. I felt my face redden at the contact. 'I, Felix Smythwick, really really like you, Cecilia Wiggleswade.' He said. I was flabbergasted. 'But..? Since when?' I asked him.

'You must've noticed. I was far too obvious.' He said, chuckling shortly. I shook my head. 'I didn't at all.' I assured him, although it was a little bit of a lie because I had in fact wondered, less than five months ago, although I had dismissed the thought quickly. Who'd like me?

'The reason I'm telling you this is because I've decided I needed to set some safety measures.' He told me in a business like kind of tone. I raised my eyebrows, a smile coming onto my lips despite the absurdly surreal situation I suddenly found myself in. 'Do tell.' I said. He took a deep breath, as if he'd been preparing but still wasn't quite ready. 'I can't stay friends with you. Not like this anyway.' He said.

I felt a stone drop into my stomach. 'Don't be silly.' I said, hurt creeping into my voice. Felix immediately leaned closer, concern on his face. 'Don't feel sad, there's nothing I'd like to do more than to hang out all the time, yeah?' He said to me softly. I blinked a couple of times, feeling my eyes burning. 'It's just that I really don't think I can ignore my feelings for you any longer.' Felix said. 'You kissed me, Cecil, and although you perhaps didn't know that I am head over heels for you, I can't just forget about that.'

He sighed deeply. He still held my hands but I made no attempt to rip my hands away from him. 'At this point it's just too difficult.' He confessed. 'That's not fair.' I said. 'Why don't I get a say in our friendship?' I pointed out. He let out a surprised laugh. 'If you have anything to add, please do.' He affirmed jokingly. I huffed.

'You can't just dump friends just because it's complicated.' I grumbled at him, not at all being reasonable. 'You can't just kiss friends and expect it to have no impact whatsoever.' He shot back and I grumbled in annoyance because I knew he was right.

'I don't want to stop hanging out.' I told him. He shrugged helplessly. 'Neither do I.' He admitted. 'But I don't want to be unhappy either. And I feel right now like I would be if I allowed myself to keep hanging out with you so much if you don't like me back at all.' He said. 'Because you don't, do you? Like me?' He asked and I saw a glimpse of hope spark up in his eyes. I let my shoulders sag. 'I don't think so, no.' I said miserably. I felt a tear escape my left eye and I hurriedly let go of his hand to wipe it away. He let go of my other hand as well and that opened the floodgates as I felt more drops fall to the point of a silent but steady stream of tears running down my cheeks. He looked unsure of how to react but sighed and pulled me into a warm embrace right after.

His hands rubbed my back soothingly and I threw my arms around his neck, nearly choking him I think, but he dutifully kept his place and let me sob into his robes. I knew I was letting myself drift off in shameless self-pity. I'm sure I didn't cry like that just because of Felix; it was a lot of things. The pressure of homework; I still took a merciless amount of classes, the worries of the outside world; Potter's increasingly valid looking claims about You-Know-Who's resurrection and the mass breakout at Azkaban, getting rejected by Fred.. Not to mention the emotional display of Professor Trelawney getting sacked just now! But this felt like the batwings that over boiled the cauldron. Felix. Not my Felix; I didn't want to lose him. That one constant, that always cheery constant, that one person I could always count on to be there; to be good.

'I'm sorry!' I blubbered against his nape. 'I feel like such a dunce; I'm not the one getting rejected.' I said, hoping he'd scold me, just to make it easier not to feel so bad, but he only shushed me gently. 'Don't worry about me. You can't help how you feel.' He said softly.

It was minutes before I got my crying under control but I didn't let go off him yet, nor did he off me. We just sat on the ledge, hugging one another closely. I felt that letting go was saying goodbye and I really didn't want to say goodbye to Felix.

I'm cryyyyying! What did you think? Review please!

Personally, I think it's a little bit of a messy chapter but I wanted to get it out there as soon as I could for my ff dot net buddy Phexy. I have nothing useful to say to make you feel better but I'm thinking about you!

PS: I had to lift quite a few lines of dialogues straight from the book so I'll strike that up to the fair use laws. Of course Queen Rowling owns it all.