Chapter Thirty Six
When It Gets Cold
Remus had thought he'd enjoy the Christmas holidays at Hogwarts. He had them planned out in his head and everything. He'd spend long, lazy hours in the library, rereading his favorites from the Muggle section, finishing Hogwarts, A History for the seventeenth time, talking to Andromeda (who Sirius had hinted was going to stay in school for the break), maybe going outside and enjoying the snow...the possibilities seemed endless.
It didn't work out that way.
He was lonely.
Being lonely was definitely not a foreign experience. From age six to eleven, he had been alone. But he'd always had his parents, his home, a plethora of pets.
He had never, Remus reflected as he trudged through the cold halls of Hogwarts, heading back to his dorm after a cold and lonely dinner, been entirely alone.
And so, there was only one thing to do, of course.
He had to pull a prank.
Remus stopped in his tracks as the thought struck him. He rubbed his head. "I'm insane," he said aloud. "Insane."
He continued to walk, mentally arguing with himself.
You're Remus Lupin. You don't pull pranks.
But I'm a Marauder!
You're only a Marauder if there's other Marauders there!
But think about how impressed they'll be! And it'll be fun!
Think of how impressed McGonagall will be – that is to say – NOT impressed!
But it'll be FUN!
But your reputation –
What if I don't get caught?
What if you do?
But I won't.
You will.
I won't.
You will.
I won't.
How can you be so sure?
I'll..consult an expert.
Your friends?
Yes. I'm-doing-this!
What's with the fast thinking?
I'M—DOING—THIS! Now shut up, conscience .
Acknowledging dimly that he was out of his mind, he picked up speed. When he finally reached his sadly empty dorm, he snatched the nearest quill and found a sheaf of parchment, then began writing rapidly. He decided that sending a letter to Sirius would not be clever, so instead he addressed it to James.
Dear James,
Being in solitude for such an extended period has aggrieved my mind, and I have gone insane. Will you help me play a caper on the general population of Hogwarts?
Yours in fellowship,
R.J Lupin
He scrawled his signature with a flourish, then hurried off to the Owlery to mail it.
–
Dear R.J Lupin,
That letter had too many big words in it.
-J.H Potter
PS: What the heck does "yours in fellowship" mean?
Dear James,
I have been cursed with friends who are idiots.
Let me spell it out for you.
Will
you
help
me
play
a
prank
on
the
rest
of
the
school?
From,
R
Dear R,
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO PROUD!
I'm sitting here crying my eyes out. Oh, Moony, Moony, Moony, I'm so proud!
Remus Lupin – YOU HAVE BECOME A MARAUDER.
-A Very Proud James Potter
Dear Idiot,
Shut up. Just give me an idea.
-Not Moony
Dear Not Moony,
Okay, okay. Why don't you do what we did to RIP Ben? Fireworks, saying Merry Christmas?
-Idiot
Dear Annoying Boy,
Overused.
-Going Crazy
Going Crazy,
Okay...hmm...OO!
I HAVE SUCH A GREAT IDEA!
I've written it down! Check inside the eye of the statue of the One Eyed Witch!
WRITE ME THE RESULTS!
-Genius
James,
Okay. That really is really, really, really good. Wasn't it on our list last year, though?
-Remus
Moony,
Yeah...
SO?
-James
James,
I'll write you the results!
-Remus
–
Christmas day, Minerva McGonagall woke up with a strange sense of foreboding.
She wasn't sure, exactly, why, but faint, haunting memories of last year with Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew and Black, and snow, and antidisestablishmentarianism, and Australia..
But Potter, Black, and Pettigrew had gone home for the holidays. Only Lupin was remaining, and he was a good boy when not influenced by his friends.
Feeling slightly soothed, but still with an air of worry, she pulled on the ludicrous robe she wore only on Christmas, given to her by Professor Dumbledore himself years and years ago. It was bright lime green, not even Christmas green, spotted with red Christmas trees.
"Albus Dumbledore – the most insane genius of the century," she muttered before delving into the small, neat stack of presents on her bedside.
She emerged from them much happier. Lily Evans, one of her best students – not, of course, that she played favorites – had given her an absolutely beautiful eagle feathered quill that wrote like a dream, exactly what she had wanted. Albus had gotten her another robe, but thank goodness one much more her style, in a lovely brown tartan color. To her sheer delight, Professor Flitwick, one of her best friends, had gotten her a gigantic box of chocolate with a note that read: for when the students get too crazy and no one's watching. From Hagrid, she got a tooth breaking fudge cake, which she decided to use as a decoration.
Her final present was a very mysterious one. It was a locket, probably costing no little amount of money, and no one seemed to have given it to her, as it was unsigned. Dangling from it was a tiny star.
She carefully opened the locket. Wedged tightly inside was an absolutely tiny piece of paper. She removed it, curious.
Probably just a scrap or a tag..
Nonetheless, she began to unfold. Once, twice, three times, four times, five, six, seven, eight..
She'd read in a book, when she was very small, that a piece of paper could only be folded seven times.
Well, it must've been a Muggle book, she decided as she unfolded the thirty eighth fold.
About twelve folds later, she finally had a flat, extremely creased piece of paper in front of her. Two words, written in tiny handwriting, were in the very center, and they increased her foreboding by about a hundred and seventy percent.
I'm sorry.
–
From the journal of Minerva McGonagall:
25/12 – 2:30 PM
Oh dear Lord in heaven.
Stars.
25/12 – 3:00 PM
Stars stars stars stars.
25/12 – 7:00 PM
THE CEILING.
Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God.
25/12 – 8:00 PM
SOMEONE TOOK ALL THE STARS FROM THE GREAT HALL CEILING AND PLASTERED THEM ALL OVER THE SCHOOL.
How..
how..
when..
I need therapy.
–
Dear James,
Oh my God it was AWESOME!
It was a simple Uwrapinao charm last night to get all the stars off the Great Hall ceiling and an even simpler charm to have no one notice. I plastered the stars all around the school at 3 am, and of course I Disillusioned myself first – basically, it all worked out perfectly! You should've seen McGonagall's face. I haven't taken the stars down quite yet..I'm thinking about holding off till the end of break?
-Remus
The New Pranking King,
You're a miracle worker. We should all strive to follow in your footsteps.
Definitely hold off, but not quite till the end of break. It get's old, kind of blends in with the rest of the school. Plus the Great Hall ceiling will look empty without its stars. Maybe two more days? And take pictures! Lots!
Yours,
James
PS: How'd Dumbledore take this?
PPS: I mailed Peter. He thinks you're amazing.
James,
Dumbledore just sat there with this amused little smile on his face. I'm so very proud of myself...
Oh my God, what have you three made me into?
Anyways, two days passed, and I've taken the stars down. No one knows who did it, but everyone, everyone everyone is talking about it – even Xenophilius Lovegood. He's convinced it's Nargles, whatever they are.. You know, that really strange third year whose father edits the Quibbler and who completely keeps to himself and all that. I think Snape suspects though – he kept giving me these smirks. But what the heck, he's got no proof.
Merry Christmas!
-Remus
PS: How do you think Sirius is faring?
Dear Remus,
I am SO proud!
I don't think very well. Not very well at all..
-James
Well haii.
This is awkward..
Yeah, yeah, it's been a month, I suck, I even left it at a cliffhanger, BLAH THE HECK BLAH. This is the last of the fluffiness you will get for a LONG TIME, GUYS. Sort of. Right now, I'm writing a chapter of this VERY STORY WHERE -drumroll- someone..d- (clamps hand over mouth) nothing! It's all sunshiney and rainbowy..
Anyways. I have a very good explanation! My computer DIED. But my best friend was pestering me so much I'm like, let me just get the stupid unedited version from my email and edit it best I can, sigh, sigh, sigh, OH MY LIFE. So basically you guys are lucky to have a chapter at all. :) The next one won't be up for ages, because I do have it in my email, but it is a mess of a first draft. Like, really. It is all over the place. Believe me, you don't want to face it. At all. Imma have to send my computer away to get it fixed, and if it can't be (o horror of horrors)..well, there's some hardrive thingamij and as long as it's intact I have all my files saved, but STILL. It will take an obscene amount of time. Computers suck. Who invented the word? Maybe a guy named Jimmy. I wonder if Jimmy liked Twilight. Or maybe his name was Dan B. and he hated Twilight like a sensible human being. Hmm..WE WILL ALWAYS WONDER. How suckish.
Ohhh well. Hope you enjoyed, no favoriting/alerting without reviewing, and PLEASE do so! (Review, I mean, not..oh, forget it.)
All the best,
BWX
PS: Do we have any Maximum Ride lovers reading? Yeah. If so (ANGEL SPOILER ALERT AHEAD) didn't Angel suck so evilly that it's not even funny? STUPID MAX HOW COULD YOU GO WITH DYLAN .