Chapter 37

"I said no visitors," a harsh voice called out.

Erik peered around the servant into the darkened room to see Raoul sitting at a chair in front of a window. He had just arrived at the Count's home and was not given a warm greeting.

Not that he would have expected one from Raoul's servants anyway.

"I-I am sorry," the servant said with a tremor in his voice. "Should I make him leave?"

Ever so slowly, Raoul turned his head and met Erik's eyes. He sank back in the chair for a moment, his knuckles turning white from grasping the arm rest.

"I knew you would come."

Erik slowly walked into the room but said nothing.

Raoul suddenly stood up and faced him. Erik studied the Count's face, finding lines he had not seen before. His eyes were dark and serious.

"She will not eat," he said in a strained voice. "She will not sleep. She will not…speak to me." His voice almost cracked at saying this, as if it were an admission torn from his soul.

Erik waited. Choosing to remain silent was all he could offer with Raoul's emotions. He still believed that if he had taken Christine long ago she would have been far better off and possibly not even in this situation. But he did feel sorrow for the man who looked so alone. If Laurette did not respond to him like this, Erik would feel the same way.

Raoul turned away and sat back down in his chair. "Take him," he said waving a hand at the servant. Erik remained standing for a few moments, allowing the silence to stretch between them but finally spoke.

"I am sorry."

He heard Raoul give a ragged sigh.

"So am I. Go to her."

Erik turned and left the room. Following the servant, he found himself on edge as they came closer to Christine's bedroom. What would he say to her? Why was he here?

The servant stopped and opened a set of double doors to a much darkened room. Erik stepped inside and shut the doors behind him. The bed was empty but he noticed a chaise near one of the windows.

And there she was.

Christine looked nothing like herself. Her face was white with thin lips and eyes that appeared almost ghostly as she looked out the window into the rain pouring down outside that fit her mood so well. Her hair was disheveled, freely falling down past her waist. She held herself, softly rocking back and forth in her night dress.

"Christine?"

A flicker of recognition touched those eyes for a moment. She slowly turned her head and looked at him. "Erik?"

"Yes."

Her face twisted in pain and Christine suddenly rushed over to him. Clinging to him, she broke down while he held her and murmured words of comfort as he stroked her hair. Weak, she collapsed against him. Erik swept her up and carried her to the bed. Cradling her to him, he continued to stroke her hair and he kissed her forehead.

The hours passed with neither of them moving. His presence did appear to soothe her as she finally fell asleep in his arms. Erik watched her as she slept, taken with this moment that she would even be held by him when it was not so long ago he would have wept with happiness at such a moment. Yet he knew it was not the same as Laurette, and Christine brought him little comfort when thought about Monsieur Girard visiting the Opera House while he was away.

He did not know how long she slept, but he did know that daylight had turned into darkness. When she finally did awaken, he had to once more mummer words of comfort as she began to weep again. When she could cry no more, Christine slowly raised her head to look at him.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He touched her face, his fingers trailing down her cheek, feeling the softness of her perfect skin. She in turn touched his mask with her fingers finding their way to the back of his head in a movement meant to remove it.

But Erik pulled back.

"No Christine."

"I have seen your face-,"

"No."

"But Erik, you need to know that I can look at you. Maybe not the first time but I did when we…,"

Kissed.

Erik shut his eyes briefly, remembering that moment. But he opened them once more and looked at her.

"I know you can look at my face Christine. But our relationship is different." He thought of Raoul who loved her so much that he allowed a monster to see his wife to help her recover. "You have a husband who would very much love for you to feel his face." "He loves you. You may have lost one life but do not lose another that is so close to you."

She hugged him tightly in response. "I-I know."

"Why did you choose him Christine?"

She looked at him with surprise. "Erik-,"

"Why?" he persisted.

"Oh Erik, it was not because of your face," she said touching his mask once more.

"I do not find that entirely true, but tell me."

"He made me feel so truly special, so different. You did as well, but in a different way."

"Yes, I recall the difference in me was taking you by deceit and force. I do not see why you would have not been charmed."

Christine's eyes widened but then she realized he was actually teasing. She broke into a smile and Erik let out a slight laugh.

"My dear Christine," he said brushing away the hair from her face, "You have always loved Raoul. If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it is that I know now love does not always allow us to choose." He smiled slightly.

The bedroom doors suddenly opened and Erik straightened with Christine still in his arms. Raoul stood in the doorway, staring at them.

Without a word, Erik slowly moved Christine away and got up. Helping her off the bed, he led her to Raoul. He took Christine's hand and then he took Raoul's hand, bringing them together. He held both of their hands for a moment while they looked at each other.

And then Erik stepped away to leave them alone.

But in that brief moment, Erik felt a curious sensation within him. As if something had overtaken him. Looking at both of them at one time caused him grief and pain. But he now realized he only felt peace. This was the way it should be, the way it was meant to be.

Christine looked at her husband. "Oh…Raoul…I am so-,"

"I know," he whispered back to her.

"I am so sorry!" she cried as she embraced him. "I-I was just so upset with-with losing the baby. No one could reach me. It had nothing to do with you. And now I can never give you an heir. I am so-so sorry!"

"Dear God," said Raoul in a strained voice as he pulled away from her. He cupped her face. "I do not care about an heir Christine. But I do care if I were to lose you. God, Christine, you are by far more important than any heir to me."

She looked at him with pure love in her eyes as tears streamed down her face. When Raoul bent down to kiss her, Erik took this signal to leave them in private only to find he was standing alone out in the hall. He wandered down the corridor taking in some of the rare paintings hanging from the high walls. Although his home was overdone, at least the Count had taste in some art.

"May I help you Monsieur?"

A servant who he had not seen before stood before him.

"Where is the regular butler?"

"I am afraid he was dismissed Monsieur."

"Really?" asked Erik somewhat pleased that the arrogant servant had been put in his place. "Why?"

"Apparently he treated a guest rather poorly a few months ago. It was Madame Duprey…have you heard of her?" He straightened. "Forgive me, it is quite improper of me to speak of such things."

Erik smiled. "I know Madame Duprey quite well."

"Oh, then you know of her servant, a man by the name of Charles. He was the one who referred me to this household."

Erik smiled even more. "I am certain you will do well here."

The man bowed slightly in acknowledgement. "Shall I show you to a room?"

"Yes, but first, I would like to study the art I see that the Count has in his collection."

"Of course Monsieur. May I suggest that you visit the Count's personal exhibit?"

Ah, yes, leave it to Raoul to have his own exhibit of art.

"Certainly."

Hours later, after being quite impressed with the Raoul's personal collection of paintings and sculptures, Erik settled into one of the enormous guest bedrooms. But it felt quite lonely without Laurette. He decided to wander back out and found the study he first saw Raoul sitting in when he arrived. Stepping into the room, he was amazed at how many books were lined on the shelves. There were some that he had from his own collection at the Opera House while others he had never heard before. He had not read anything new in God knew how long. Interested, he took one book off the shelves and began to flip through some of the pages.

"You are more than welcome to take that one if you would like."

Erik turned around to find Raoul standing in the doorway.

"Trust me, I have already read ever single one."

Erik looked around the enormous room that was lined from floor to ceiling with volumes of books. This was a little hard to believe when he was raised within society unlike himself.

Raoul laughed as if reading his thoughts. "As a boy, I had only private tutors. You have no idea how boring it was to be forced to read hour after hour."

"At least you were given the opportunity to study such things," Erik said reminding him of his fortune. The man obviously did not appreciate what he had. It made him arrogant in his mind.

"Yes, but if forced, then you do not enjoy what you are doing."

Erik could not argue with that point.

Raoul sighed and walked into the room. "I do appreciate all that was taught to me, but I wasted so many years of my youth learning about business and politics. There was no joy in my life. I did what I was told when I was told." He stopped a few feet in front of Erik. "That was when I met Christine. Not only was her voice beautiful but she was so innocent that I enjoyed immensely showing her all the things she had never seen. She looked at everything with such wonder that it made me begin to appreciate things I never realized."

Fine, so the Count was not as arrogant as he thought. But that did little to change Erik's opinion of the man in what happened with Christine.

"You still do not like me do you?" asked Raoul with almost an amused tone.

Erik closed the book. "And you have such a high opinion of me?"

Raoul chuckled in response. "This is true. We both hold in our minds what is right and wrong very differently." He walked past Erik to one of the armchairs and sat down. "But I must admit that we do have one thing in common."

"Christine."

"Ah yes, but more than that."

"What more could we possibly have in common?"

"That we would do anything in our power to save the one we love."

"I suppose that is true," replied Erik replacing the book on the shelf. An awkward silence followed.

Raoul gestured to a table sitting between the chairs that held a magnificent chess set made out of glass. "Shall we play a game?"

Inside Erik groaned. He did not need to spend any further time with this man. Even though he was finding that he misjudged Raoul on some things, he still had no desire to become his friend.

"No…thank you," he added on in an effort to be polite. "I believe I shall return to my room."

"Of course."

Erik turned to walk out the door.

"You do not take defeat very well, so I understand."

Erik whipped his head back around and narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me?"

Raoul sat back in his chair, folding his hands on his chest. "Defeat – it is not a word you even like to hear is it?"

"Are you saying you can win against me in chess that easily?"

"It must be the only reason for you refusing so quickly," he said with almost a smug look on his face.

Erik scowled.

"Well?" asked Raoul with a smile.

"Fine," said Erik as he began to walk over to the empty chair. "I will show you the true meaning of the word defeat."

Raoul straightened. "I do love a challenge." He reached out and moved a pawn forward. "Christine is now eating."

"That is good to hear," said Erik and moved out his knight.

"She is feeling much better," said Raoul as he made another move. "Thank you."

Erik nodded as he moved a pawn. "Tell me," he said in a low voice, "Just how did Christine marry you and then suddenly forget all that I taught her." He could not help the tone of accusation in his voice.

"She did not forget."

"Oh?" asked Erik as he watched the Count make another move.

"I admit that I was reluctant to let her sing very often. I did not want her to become society's puppet on the stage. I had seen it happen to other opera divas and I did not want her to be like them."

"Well, you did an admirable job," said Erik with heavy sarcasm. He moved out another knight.

Raoul winced. "Yes, you may say the very thing I intended to protect her from ended up making her life even worse." He moved out a rook.

"I never would have guessed," said Erik taking one of Raoul's bishops.

"Well I did not do such a thing on purpose." He reached out and suddenly to Erik's surprise took a knight.

Damn it.

"You did not want her to sing. That was on purpose," said Erik in a low tone. He was furious with himself for not paying attention to the board close enough. He changed tactics and moved his bishop.

"I just told you of my intention. I only wanted to protect her," he said as he moved again.

"Holding back the inner beauty in her will never protect her." Erik triumphantly captured Raoul's bishop.

Raoul frowned in response and studied the board for a moment.

"You know I have a point," persisted Erik.

Raoul moved his rook. "Do you need to continue to remind me?"

Yes. Erik tried to keep his thoughts to himself.

"I did not realize that the women of society could be so…cruel."

That is because you are an idiot.

"She was treated indifferently by them. It was because she did not wear the right fashions and spoke freely."

And you let them treat her that way.

"I tried to persuade her otherwise…,"

Oh please.

Raoul reached forward once more and took Erik's rook.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

"She just would not listen to me. She wanted her own friends and she began to try and impress everyone. They soon began rewarding her with invitations to parties and galas. She became more interested in trying to please them than herself."

I could easily end this game by wrapping a rope around your neck.

"I tried everything until I began to wonder if there was a way to return her to you. Since I thought you were dead, the Opera Populaire was my only choice."

"I watched from the balcony," said Erik with a bitter tone. "She did not have any recollection of what I taught her."

"She did when she heard Laurette sing."

Erik only responded by moving out his queen.

"She was so angry and jealous that Monsieur Garier had selected her to be the main star," continued Raoul.

"How little she knew that Laurette most likely saved what was left of her," muttered Erik.

"I would have protected her from Monsieur Garier," said Raoul quietly.

"Oh yes, I am sure."

Raoul stared at him with a frown for a moment. "Fine then." He reached down and moved his knight…and took Erik's queen.

Erik cursed. "Where did you learn to play?"

"I told you. Tutors. I knew nothing else. Would you like to play another game?"

"Why would I want to play another? This one is not finished."

Raoul looked at the board. "You are not serious."

Erik's mind was racing and he moved the rook he had left. "Very."

The Count shrugged. "As you wish."

They played in silence for some time and to Raoul's astonishment, he suddenly found his queen in jeopardy.

"How did you do that?" he asked as Erik finally took Raoul's queen while cornering the king.

Erik sat back in the chair with satisfaction. "Perhaps it is because I have the instinct to kill."

Raoul shook his head. "Yes, you and I are very different. How one woman loves both of us will always be a mystery to me."

"Then that is one more thing we have in common," replied Erik as he stood up to leave.

"You will stay for the next few days, yes?"

"I see no need. It should be you taking care of Christine now."

"The funeral is in a few days."

Erik froze. "Funeral?"

Raoul's eyes turned to sadness. "Well…yes. The child was stillborn. He should have a proper burial."

"I am sorry; I did not realize that was exactly what happened. It was a boy?"

"Yes," replied Raoul now looking out the window and avoiding Erik's eyes. "It…it would help ease her if she knew you were still here."

"I would not be able to actually attend. You know this."

"Yes, I know it would be risky for you to be seen. But if you even just stayed here, it may help her."

There was a knock at the door and Erik stiffened.

"What is it?" called out Raoul in an annoyed tone.

"Mademoiselle Louise Clautier is here."

"Raoul?" called an older woman's voice. "Step aside," she said to the servant. "Raoul, you open this door right now!"

"My Aunt," hissed Raoul standing up. "Over there," he said to Erik gesturing to another door.

Just as the door to the room opened, Erik slipped inside what appeared to be a very large closet. While he was appreciative of the space in his hiding place, Erik was not pleased that he found himself trapped in the Count's home.

"Oh Raoul!" said the woman in an overdone sympathetic voice. Erik peered between a crack in the door to see a very heavy set woman embrace Raoul. She had her white hair pinned up in curls under a rather large hat. Her gown was low cut, ensuring no one had the choice but to see those enormous breasts. She wore too much make-up complete with a fake, or real, mole that posed as a beauty mark on her cheek. When she kissed Raoul right on the lips, Erik himself shuddered.

"Aunt Louise, thank you for coming. I thought we would just see you at the funeral."

"Oh goodness no! I had to see how you are doing! Such a terrible thing! How is the poor dear doing?"

"She is-,"

"She must be devastated! And here having a child was the most important thing to our family. And now she can have no heir!"

"Aunt Louise-,"

"I am certain she will be so depressed that it is hard for her to even get out of bed the poor thing." The woman trumped over and helped herself to a small bar. Filling her glass with a gold liquid, she downed the drink immediately. "Well," she said pouring herself another drink, "at least she will never return to the stage."

Erik narrowed his eyes at the woman.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh please dear boy, you cannot possibly think that she would return to the stage after such a devastating loss. She will need to focus back on what she can do in making a home for you. It is all that she can give you."

"Singing may be the very thing she needs," said Raoul with a gruff voice.

"Now dear, I know you are upset. But it is her duty and privilege to be the wife of your home. Not an opera singer." She smiled. "And I know you do not want to think of this now, but there are other ways we can find an heir for you in the future."

Raoul's face twisted in anger. "You would not dare suggest that I leave Christine."

"Oh of course not! But you should consider a mistress. Men declare bastard children all the time as heirs to their fortunes. It is not the best way of course, but it is better than nothing."

"Excuse me," said Raoul trying to restrain himself. "I need to go check on Christine."

His aunt put down the drink. "No, I will do that. She needs a woman's touch."

"No!" said Raoul sharply as he blocked her from exiting. She looked shocked at his reaction and he recomposed himself. "I am sure the rest of the family is arriving at the guest cottage. I would appreciate you seeing to them as you are so good in taking care of everyone. It will help keep them away so I can get Christine ready in the next few days for the service."

"Yes, yes. The family is quite a handful and most likely all of them will want to see the poor girl at once. I will keep them occupied." Raoul moved aside and the servant appeared at the door to escort her out. His aunt gives him another over exaggerated kiss before touching his cheek. "We will sort all of this out. We will find you a future heir."

After she left, Erik emerged trying to keep his temper under control. Raoul looked at him.

"Perhaps now you see why I wish you to stay."

"Yes," replied Erik flatly. "But you must do a better job than that in protecting her."

"What would you have me do? Push her out the window?" As Erik looked at him thoughtfully, Raoul shook his head. "Why did I even ask that question to you?"

"Because you most likely already thought of it yourself. Although it is not a tactic I would have used on her."

"No?"

"Of course not. She would never fit through that window."

He looked at Erik with a frown.

And then he laughed.

"You are right of course. As a child I often had such fantasies about that."

Well what do you know? Maybe there was some unfounded instinct in him after all. "What stopped you?"

"When a child is whipped for missing one word on a spelling test, what do you think?"

"Fear is a powerful weapon on a child," muttered Erik. He was not pleased at all that he was finding himself relating to this man. "I should know."

"Care to elaborate?"

"No."

Raoul gave a slight smile. "I am sure I can imagine. But one's past does not condone murder."

"And so we shall never agree. But I will stay a few more days."

"Thank you…again."

Erik nodded and disappeared down the hall to his room.

Over the next few days, he spent many hours with Christine. Raoul was sometimes present but he often left the two of them alone, confirming to Erik again just how much he loved her to allow such a thing. For some of the time Erik would read to her from a book he had taken from Raoul's study. Other moments he would simply hold and sing to her until she fell asleep.

On the day of the funeral, he watched her as she emerged from the bedroom dressed in a simple black gown. Before Raoul came into the room, Erik reached down and kissed her on the cheek very softly.

"You will stay strong Christine. Remember who you are."

With tears in her eyes, she nodded and hugged him hard. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too Christine."

Just then Raoul came into the room and Erik gave him a nod that she was ready. After they left, he went to his bedroom window and watched as she stood solemnly near the dark carriage with black horses. Other carriages were also lined up with more of Raoul's family he assumed. All were getting ready to travel to the local church.

Two men appeared that were slowly carrying a very small, beautifully made coffin. He expected to see Christine break down, but she instead stood tall and welcomed Raoul's comforting arm around her.

He felt sorrow for Christine and hoped she would be strong for the years ahead. Erik knew he may not be around in the future to support her. She needed to do this on her own with Raoul.

For the first time in a few days, he began to really think about Laurette. He had been so preoccupied with Christine that he had not dwelled on his feelings about their relationship as of late. Or perhaps he had just been looking for an excuse not to think about it.

But sitting in the large lonely bedroom, he began to desperately wish she was here. He had spent so much time comforting Christine that now he wanted Laurette to make him feel strong. He wanted to share his thoughts about Christine and how he began to know more about Raoul.

Erik ventured out onto one of the upper balconies of the mansion as night fell. And it was then he noticed the stars. Those same beautiful stars he used to stare at night after night when he missed Laurette so desperately at the opera house. He hoped at this very moment she was looking at them right now, thinking of him.

But dark thoughts filled his mind when he realized Monsieur Girard may very well be with her. She had said she loved him before he left, but he knew things between them were strained ever since he killed La Carlotta.

And she had questioned his soul.

Erik never doubted for a moment that his soul was destined for Hell. But it was the first time Laurette ever questioned it. It tore at him as he wondered if she doubted that their souls were meant to be together. That someone like Monsieur Girard would at least be with her in heaven when she did die.

But he could not let her go. Erik loved her with all his heart. That had to mean something to God. Perhaps God would never forgive him for the deaths but it was his love that protected Laurette. What kind of God would not recognize that? And was not He supposed to be all forgiving?

Not to murderers, Erik thought bitterly. He had read the commandments and knew them well as he had broken most of them. There was no way he could be with her after her death.

He sighed. Why did he care? But he knew it was because he wanted to be with her forever, not just in this lifetime. He would take what he could out of this life and he believed he was doing something good with the love he had for Laurette. And he would not let Monsieur Girard get in the way of that.

Erik knew he had to leave. Tonight. He would return to the Opera Populaire and beg for her forgiveness if he had to. And yes, he would even say he was sorry for La Carlotta's death if it would keep her love. But if Monsieur Girard made any further demands, he knew he would kill the man without hesitation.

He would do anything for her.

"Erik?"

He turned to see Christine, still in her black dress, the cape she wore blowing wildly in the wind.

"I thought you may have come here." She held herself. "It is so cold out here. Come inside with me."

When Erik looked back at the stars, she came up behind him and put her arms around him. "What is wrong Erik?"

He closed his eyes, enjoying a moment the feeling of her warmth embrace. Then he turned around and took her hands into his. "How was the service?" he asked softly.

Christine let out a breath. "It was…beautiful. He is at rest. It was good that I saw him buried. I know he is in a good place."

Erik nodded and looked back into the sky.

"You did not answer my question," she said softly.

"I miss Laurette," he said still not looking at her.

"Then you must go to her Erik."

He slowly turned his head to look at her. Although it was cold, her eyes warmed him. They understood each other in music…and love. He nodded. "I must leave tonight," he said softly.

"Come inside Erik. Let us get you warm before you leave." She took his hand and he let her pull him inside. They walked down a few flights of stairs until they made it to Raoul's study. She made Erik stand in front of the fire and told Raoul about his decision to leave. Raoul called his servants to ready the horses. But one of the servants shook his head.

"I am sorry, but there is another visitor here."

Raoul narrowed his eyes. "Tell whoever it is that now is not a good time."

But the servant shook his head again. "I think you should see this visitor. Or more importantly, I think he needs to see this visitor," the man said gesturing at Erik.

And then Laurette appeared in the doorway.

Erik stared at her. Was this real? Did she travel by herself?

And then he found himself walking quickly to her. Laurette rushed forward and Erik embraced her so hard he picked her up off her feet. The hood of her cape fell back and he bent down to give her quite a passionate kiss, not caring that Christine and Raoul were still there.

He pulled away and framed her face with his hands. Her skin was cold to his touch and he cursed in his mind as she should not have been traveling in her weak condition.

"Why? Why Laurette did you travel here? Is something wrong?"

"I could not be without you," she said as her blue eyes filled with tears.

He hugged her again, happy to hear those very words. But he pulled away and looked sternly at her. "You should not have traveled Laurette." He looked back at Raoul and Christine who were smiling. Straightening, Erik took Laurette's hand. "If you will excuse us, we need to be alone for a few moments."

"Of course," said Raoul. "We will take our leave. But since you are now staying, perhaps you could join us later in the dining room for an evening meal?"

Erik nodded.

As they began to leave, Christine stopped in front of them and looked at Laurette. "I am so glad you came."

"I am sorry for your loss," she replied softly.

"Thank you. But Erik has been most comforting to me. It meant a lot to me that he was here," she said looking at him. Raoul kissed Christine's hand and they left the room, shutting the door behind them.

Erik pulled Laurette over to a chair in front of the fire. Forcing her to sit, he kneeled in front of her and rubbed her cold hands. "I thought you would be busy with the new production," he said quietly.

"There is no production."

He looked sharply up at her "What do you mean?"

"I told Monsieur Girard that we or rather I would not perform his opera."

What? "Why would you do such a thing Laurette?"

She sighed. "After you left, he began to visit me regularly."

Of course. Erik felt his blood rise in anger.

"I knew what he wanted." She looked into his eyes. "I knew what he wanted from the moment he demanded one dance with me. But I wanted the production so badly that I did not want to recognize such a thing."

"I know," he said softly.

"And then he was sitting at our table, talking with me about the production, telling me his views, how he wanted things to be done. I suddenly realized what a fool I have been."

"You are not."

She laughed. "Oh Erik, please. Do you not see? All my life men have controlled me; from my stepfather to Monsieur Garier. How is Monsieur Girard any different?" Laurette shook her head. "I worked very hard to become the director I am today. But look at what I have done! I let my stepfather use me when I could have easily betrayed him by announcing I was directing his performances. I let Monsieur Garier use me for publicity when I should have walked away. And even now, when I am the owner of the opera house and should be in control, once again I allowed myself to be taken."

Erik let out a breath. He of course already knew this but his love for her only made him let her do what she wanted to be happy.

She squeezed his hands. "When Monsieur Girard was sitting at the table telling me how he wanted things to be done, I became angry. At that moment I knew that I had almost sacrificed our love and myself for a production. I would not let him control me. I told him that I wanted to perform the production but there would be no dance."

Erik's heart leapt.

"He of course threatened to back out of the deal at which point I told him that I understood and my decision remained firm. He thought it was ridiculous that I would throw everything away for his simple request of one dance. But I knew for me, it was so much more. I will never let anyone control me again Erik." Tears welled up in her eyes. "Can you ever forgive me? I do not want to be used again and sacrifice not only myself but also our love."

Erik reached up and wiped a tear that had fallen on her cheek. "And what about me Laurette? Look at what I have done. You know I murdered La Carlotta and you can never forgive me for such a thing."

"I know you were protecting me just as you always have." She smiled slightly. "But you cannot protect me from myself. I had to do this on my own."

Erik thought for a moment how he was willing to beg for her forgiveness, allowing Monsieur Girard to continue his quest but eventually killing him when he went too far. He almost allowed anything to happen for her happiness. She was right. In his mind what he had been doing to protect her was only reinforcing her behavior. The cycle was unending. How ironic that leaving her at the opera house on her own was the right thing to do.

"You are right," he said softly holding both her hands once more. "I would do anything for you but I was actually losing the very woman that I had come to love." He kissed her hand. "I remember in the beginning the qualities I so loved about you. You were strong, independent, and I loved to argue with you even though I did not realize it."

Through her tears she gave a small laugh. "And I began to lose everything. All because I loved music and wanted to direct so badly. Never again Erik. I will only do what I want, and no one will make me sacrifice that."

"Not even me?"

She reached out and touched his mask. "I choose to be with you. I love you."

He rose up and pulled her to him. Kissing her, he knew in this moment that they were always meant to be together. They had both faced so many of their own personal demons and now all was at peace.

Peace.

He felt it again, that curios shifting inside of him just as when he had brought Christine and Raoul together.

"Erik?"

He realized he had suddenly stopped kissing her.

"What is wrong?"

"I just feel…," he hesitated.

"Feel what?"

"Blessed," he said, unbelieving he actually even said the word.

She gave him a glorious smile. "We both are."