Chapter 37

Caleb managed to wander home without being seen by the security guards. The campus was closed, aside from emergencies, and no one was going in or out. He didn't know what to make of his bold move to kiss Delilah. He was weirded out by the fact that he felt somewhat neutral about it. It was his first kiss but for some reason it didn't register in his mind that way. He began to think that maybe his mind hadn't quite caught up yet, or maybe it was just part of the role he was playing in getting so close to her. All in all, he wasn't sure what he felt.

Why would she be the one to run away? he thought, all everyone has been doing it warning me that she's going to try to make me to fall for her. Wouldn't she be thrilled that she got what she wanted?

The skies were dark, but night hadn't completely fell upon the town. Caleb trudged his way through the snow and wiped flakes away from his eyes as they continued to fall. He glanced over toward the garage and then made his way into the house.

"Hey honey," Esme said. She was always the first to greet him when he walked through the door.

"Hey," he said with a small smile.

"How was your day?" she asked.

He shrugged, "Not bad. I feel pretty prepared for the test tomorrow."

"If you ever have school," Esme told him, "If this weather keeps up they may cancel it."

Caleb looked past her toward an oversized picture window that hung on the far wall, taking in how heavy the snow looked from where he stood. "Yeah, I didn't even think of that." He sighed, "Is Dad home?"

Esme shook her head, "Not yet. He already told me there were a few car accident victims that came in. He may have to stay a little later."

Caleb nodded, eager to have a one-on-one talk with him. "Alright."

"You can call him," she said, "He may answer." She lifted her phone toward him.

"Oh, it's okay," he said, "It's nothing that can't wait. I just wanted to talk to him about something."

"Anything I can help you with?"

Caleb shrugged, not wanting to say no, but he didn't really want to talk to his mother about girls, or what just happened. "It's just a medical question," he lied, "Something that came up in one of my classes."

Esme kissed him on the forehead, "Okay. Well, go relax then."

He nodded.

"And go see your sister. She's been worried about you." Esme smiled at him and Caleb gave her one back.

"Alright," he agreed.

Esme smiled and watched as he wandered up the staircase toward his room. She wasn't sure what to make of his demeanor, but decided to send Carlisle a text message to let him know that their son wanted to speak with him when he got home.

She headed toward the living room, but quickly realized that no one was there. Esme found herself missing their old house. While it was spacious, it wasn't nearly as oversized as the house they currently lived in, so it gave them plenty of time to gather together as a family. The new place was great in its own way, though she would have easily traded up for something smaller.

Rather than sit alone in the living room, she made her way upstairs toward her room, passing Caleb's on the way. She didn't want to invade his privacy, but upon hearing a quiet phone conversation, she walked a little slower down the hallway.

"Did you get back to your room okay?" he asked quietly. There was brief hesitation before he continued, "Good. You didn't have to call and explain. It's okay."

Esme felt bad but she couldn't help herself. She continued to listen in on his conversation, trying hard to make out the other end of it.

"What are you going to do for the rest of the day?" he asked. "Text me if you get bored then. I'll see you either tomorrow or Monday. See ya later."

Caleb's phone conversation had ended and Esme walked the rest of the way down the hall to her room. The area was relatively quiet and she decided to lay down for a bit. Her eyes traveled out the window and took in the darkness that engulfed the falling snow that hadn't let up. She hoped Carlisle's car would be alright in the blizzard-like conditions and he wouldn't get stuck.

"Hey Mom," Caleb asked, rounding into the room.

Esme's eyes drifted away from the French doors that led onto the balcony. She pulled the curtain over them as night had fallen and twisted the blinds shut over the windows. "Hey Caleb," she smiled. She looked toward the book in his hand, "The Lord of the Flies."

He nodded and smiled, "Yeah. We're reading it for school. It's what I was studying for today."

"Well, that's good. Do you think you're ready for your test?"

"Yeah, it shouldn't be too tough," Caleb told her.

"Good," she said.

"I think we're doing Shakespeare next or something."

"I'm glad you'll get to read a few of the classic books," Esme told him.

"Yeah..."

"What else?" she asked.

Caleb glanced down at a collection of pictures that stood on a decorative piece of furniture in the room. Picture of all of their family members were scattered about, most of them with their significant other in the photo.

"You're right in the middle," Esme pointed out with a smile, gesturing toward the close up he'd taken professionally to add to a family album.

He laughed, "Yeah, I know."

"Is everything alright Caleb?"

Caleb had the urge to tell her what had happened, but he held off. He wanted to get it off his chest that he kissed Delilah and didn't know how he felt about it, but was equally as hesitant. "Yeah, I just... I don't know, do you think I should go the school dance with Delilah? It's kind of a weird situation, ya know? People at school were kind of talking about it."

Esme sighed, "I don't know. To be honest, the more I think about this, the more nervous I get. I don't want you to confuse dating with whatever it is that's going on right now. I think you should hold off on those types of things for someone you care about. Don't go out on dates with this girl just because."

"I know," he told her, replaying the kiss in his mind over and over. He knew that was a step above a date to dance as far as "first-times" were concerned. No matter what came of the situation, Delilah would always be his first kiss. The thought completely freaked him out in a lot of ways. He suddenly had a feeling that his mother would be as equally freaked out about it and so he decided not to say anything just yet.

"Do you think that you and Dad would have been together if you had shared your feelings for him right away?" he asked, "I talked to him a little about this the other day."

Like Carlisle had been, Esme was caught slightly off-guard by the question. "I like to think that love tends to find a way to work out. To be honest, I don't know how to answer that question. We were in two totally different places at that time. I was younger, he was moving around a lot. Above all else, I was human and he wasn't. He never would have changed me if I wasn't so close to... dying."

"You don't think he would have changed you?" Caleb asked.

She shook her head, "I know he wouldn't have. He's said it many times."

"Why?"

"Because he thought it was selfish," Esme told him.

"Would you have been happy if he did even if you weren't dying?"

She sighed and decided to be honest with him. "Yes. It doesn't always happen like this for people, but it was love at first sight for me; or rather love at first conversation," she laughed, "It was really his conversation with me, the fact that he really cared and was interested in what I had to say that really began the deep feelings for him that developed over time."

Caleb nodded, "Okay."

Esme wanted to ask if his question had anything to do with Delilah. She hesitated, but eventually projected her thoughts out loud, "Does this have anything to do with..." She didn't use the girl's name to end the sentence. Her voice just drifted.

"Huh?" He then shook his head, "No, no. I just kind of wanted to know, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Caleb smiled wide, "I just want to catch up to everything, that's all. I want to know everything."

Esme continued to look at him skeptically and Caleb crossed the room to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Seriously," he said, continuing to smile.

She couldn't help but smile back, "Okay."

He turned around and headed out, letting his smile fade on the way. When he got back to his room he shut the door and tried killing time by watching several episodes of one of the television shows he liked. He then read a few extra chapters in the book he'd been given in English class upon getting bored of the show. He surfed the internet a little on his phone and was considering hooking up the X-box to play a video game, but it didn't sound overly appealing at the moment.

Caleb sighed, feeling almost restless and sat on the edge of his bed staring blankly at the wall. From somewhere in the house he heard Alice and Jasper talking. Whatever he was saying, or doing, was making Alice laugh. Alex and Michael were watching a hockey game together and he could also hear their flirty back and forth bets on who would score the next goal, who would win, and teasingly fought over which goalie was better.

The phone that Caleb had left next to his bed on the nightstand went off, and he lunged for it to read the text message.

Sorry about today. I know apologized already, but I'm really sorry.

He sighed and left his thumbs over the screen for a moment. He didn't know what to type back. His eyes stared down at the message, reading it over several times. He wrote several different things, then erased them before deciding on something simple.

It's okay.

Do I call her out on everything? he wondered. Would that blow it for our family? Could that potentially start a huge conflict?

Caleb looked up toward his closed door as he heard his father return from work. His phone went off a second time and he looked down at it.

I hope you didn't get the wrong impression, she wrote, I just got really nervous and overwhelmed and anxious. I haven't been in this position for a long time.

Is she messing with my mind? he wondered, feeling a number of different things at once.

No, it's alright. I understand. Don't worry about it.

That's how I wish I felt, he thought.

Caleb had second thoughts about speaking with Carlisle about his thoughts on Delilah. He actually wasn't sure what his father would tell him, but he was sure there was at least a part that he wouldn't want to hear. He decided he'd wait it out a little longer before approaching him on the subject, if he did at all.

I like you Caleb, she wrote back. His eyes scanned the screen a number of times. He didn't know what to make of her statement. He suddenly hated being in the middle the way he was because he didn't know if what he was feeling was real; or if what she was saying was real. He felt so messed up in that moment.

Same here. He reluctantly sent the message, purposely leaving it vague.

Down the hall he heard his father greeting his mother. Like the others, she began to laugh genuinely at something he said and the two of them made plans to cuddle up and watch a movie.

Everyone's happy and gets to be with someone here except for me, he thought not counting Nicole or Mackenzie into love's equation.

Caleb thought it felt like days before she wrote back, though it had only been about thirty seconds. He stood up, feeling crowded suddenly in his empty room and flung open his door, passing by Emmett who was giving Rosalie a piggy-back ride.

"Hey buddy," he said with a grin, "Where ya going?"

Caleb smiled, "Downstairs. Maybe the pool."

"Nice..." The two of them continued to where ever it was they were going and their interaction only made Caleb feel worse.

"Caleb!" he heard his father's voice call.

Caleb spun around, and he didn't know why but he felt a wave of aggravation pass through him. "Yeah?" he called back.

"Did you want to talk to me about something? Mom sent me a text message earlier and said you did," Carlisle told him.

"Um. Yeah, it was something medical-related. I have to look through my papers to see exactly what it was. We can talk later. I'm going to see what Alex is up to."

Before Carlisle could respond, Caleb's back was already to him and he marched down the hall toward the staircase where he was stopped abruptly by Alice.

"Caleb," she said quietly. "We need to talk." She took him by the hand and let him to the far end of the house.

"I'm guessing you know," he said, not hiding the events of earlier that day.

Alice nodded, "You kissed her?" she whispered.

Caleb nodded back.

"Jasper told me your emotions are really high," she continued to whisper. "We can stop this-"

"No," he whispered back, looking over his shoulder, "Alice..." he shook his head.

"Do you have feelings for her Caleb?"

"No," he assured her right away.

Alice looked at him, "I keep seeing you changing your mind regarding talking to your dad."

"I was going to but I don't know. I don't feel like it right now."

"You should," she urged.

"What, or you will?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

"No." Alice shook her head and gave him a look from the tone he used with her.

"Sorry," he said looking down.

"Talk to me," she said, putting an arm over his shoulders. His mood was beginning to remind her of Edward's prior to meeting Bella.

Caleb sighed, "Nothing gets back to my parents?"

"Not unless whatever you tell me will put you in danger," she said, "Then I'll have to. If not, then nope. It will stay between us."

He looked over his shoulder again, then began to speak. "I just, I don't know. Certain things never bothered me before, but they do now."

"Like what?" she asked with a shrug.

"Like... I don't know. Just now I passed Rosalie and Emmett in the hall all over each other. Michael and Alex were all flirty with each other downstairs. My parents, you and Jasper; Edward and Bella if they were here."

"You're feeling left out of the "couples" equation?" Alice asked, "Hang with Nicole and Mac."

"I don't know if it's that, or what it is," Caleb told her, "I'm really not sure. I just had to really bite my tongue not to snap on Dad, and it was for no reason. God, maybe this Delilah thing is too much for me." He shook his head.

Alice asked him the same question from before, "You have to really ask yourself if you're beginning to have real feelings for this girl," she told him, "And if you do, you should get out now. Talk to Jasper about this. He went through a really tough time before we met over a girl who really manipulated him. Get out before you're in too deep Caleb."

"What happened with Jasper?"

"You want to hear the story?" she asked.

Caleb nodded.

"Come on," Alice slumped her arm around his shoulders and led him down toward their room.