Coin

If there was a trait that B, L and I all shared, then it was stubbornness. It was the way we'd deal with it that differed.

To beat B at a discussion was next to impossible, mainly because getting to hold a real discussion with him was next to impossible on the first place. He wasn't really a fan of discussing, basically because he set off from the premise that he was unchangeably right. We would have some interesting debates now and then, but after some point, he'd rather discard matters and 'let you believe what you chose to believe', which I found to be extremely obnoxious.

When a statement doesn't make sense to me, it is inevitable that I analyze it until I either comprehend it and am able to accept it myself, or until I successfully disprove it and everybody agrees. I terribly dislike to 'agree to disagree'. B was perfectly aware of this, an on occasion used that aspect of mine for his own benefit and/or amusement.

However, on the rare occasions when he did realize that he hadn't been right, he'd quietly accept it and credit you for it. Even if it was the most miserable of defeat acceptances, it signified quite a lot coming from him, so I took what I could and ran. It was quite an achievement, really.

To beat L at a discussion, on the other side, didn't feel like beating L at a discussion at all. When we didn't see eye to eye, we'd try to figure out why. It was like holding the pieces to different sides of the same puzzle, and we couldn't conform with holding the half part of the picture. The problem was that we'd start solving it from the bottom again, and it never was a matter of putting six pieces together, but thousands and thousands of them.

This sounds quite yin yang, zen and diplomatic, but at times it could get really dense. Sometimes it would take entire weeks to decide on a final answer, because we just wouldn't comprehend that some things can't be truly agreed on, like who is the rightful owner to the last piece of cake. Had Watari arrived any minute later, and we would have actually phoned UN members over that one. Looking back on it, it's a bit sad isn't it? Had it happened, it would have made a glorious Wikipedia article.

Anyway. The matter that we were still to discuss, wasn't just a question of battling philosophical ideas in a world of abstraction, so we couldn't take the liberty of time. Our problem was real, our positions deep rooted. There were measures to be taken and differences to be settled, fast, even if that meant coming to terms on things we weren't fully okay with (which quite possibly meant: things I wasn't fully okay with). And while he and I were still to settle our old married couple quarrels, B was as much nonchalant about what we thought as ever, running around freely.

The phone rang, sending my whole mantra back to the seventh door of hell.

Technically, it was next to my coach, but for some reason, I was sitting upside down.
Trying to reach for it, I tumbled over the table and destroyed the phone.
I took a peek at the damage. Nothing that I couldn't put back together later.
I extended my right arm and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" I exhaled breathless, hoping I hadn't lost my caller. An unusual sensation for someone like me, but the last ten hours had been too boring not to be excited about a change in the atmosphere.

A contemplative silence.

"Am I interrupting something?" A raspy voice replied, faintly mocking.

I thought he'd never awake again.

"L. Did you sleep well?"

I heard a yawn on the other side of the line.

"Most pleasantly. Thank you."

There was a long silence.

"So... Was there a purpose to this call?" I asked, sliding awkwardly off the coach to sit on the floor. It was the first good idea I'd had that day.

"Oh, the call. Yes."

I figured he was staring at his laptop screen as we talked.

"Judging by the lack of death threats in this conversation, I assume you've talked to Watari by now."

I chuckled lightly.

"I have."
"So you understand why I lied to you." He'd said it as an affirmation, but I was pretty sure he was looking for a confirmation there.

I pondered on it, slightly frowning. 'Lied' was an understatement.

"I can understand what may have motivated you." I corrected, crossing legs.

That he may or may not have done it out of concern wasn't a perfect justification.

"But I'm forgiven." Little did he seem to care about perfect justifications.

I took a deep breath and sighed, not fully convinced.

"You may keep your life." I surrendered "For the moment."

He analyzed my reply.

"That is excellent news..." He exhaled relieved, feeling the need to add: "I don't know what the world do without me."

I laughed out loud.

"Oh, I can think of a thing or two."

I could hear him smile over the phone.

"So Round 1 is over." I said almost impulsively, as if for some reason I'd felt the need to avoid pauses.

His ideas were accompanied with a barely audible humming. Upon finding the words, he expressed:

"I wouldn't go as far as to labeling it 'Round 1' yet, if you allow the correction. I fear this was nothing but simple warm-up."

In case you're wondering, 'simple' is L for 'pretty fucking twisted'. I'd learnt to keep a mental dictionary to avoid 'simple' confusions.

I curved my lips, half concerned, half observant.

"Simple warm-up, ey?" I turned around, lying on the floor.

He didn't reply. Holding a conversation with L on the phone was possibly as patience-eating as talking to the cable company to suspend their services. I could even hear typing on the other side.

Typing, slurping, munching. Just imagine if he could play the bagpipes.
The typing ceased, he grabbed the phone again and lead it to his ear.

"And I take it you still want to go after him?"
"Hah." I gasped challenging "Like I'd leave him to you." I teased.

Instead of laughing, he stayed silent.

"Yes." He admitted after careful consideration "I can see why you shouldn't want to."

I laid wondering what sort of statement that was. It hadn't sounded like he'd told that to me, it had sounded like a thinking fragment that had been accidentally been blurted out loud.

"And you do understand that I have absolutely no intentions for B to return to the Wammy's House again." He went on with authority, faintly disturbing the silence "As of ever."

But deeply disturbing me.

That was a hard blow.

On the one hand, L considered my intentions to find B to be personal. That was correct. They were. I wanted to find B to... (Let's put it in these inaccurately romantic terms:) 'save' him. L on the other side, wanted to find him and catch him for good. And it was perfectly understandable why he should want this. After all, B did represent a real danger for everybody. He'd stabbed a person and pushed his one close friend in front of a car. What stopped him from doing that again? L had more than a reasonable argument to distrust him.

When you put it like that, it would seem as if I was being an unreasonable, feeling-guided naive person (I mean, I was half-ignoring the fact that B had tried to kill me), while L was the ever patient, cool-headed genius that did not let anything but justice get in the way. But I had my reasons not to be so fully sure of that nonsense.

Watari had had funny choice of words that morning.

'You figured the boys wouldn't let you play.' He'd said. It had kept coming and going inside my head ever since I'd heard it.

Maybe it's just me, but it does sound a bit particular, doesn't it?

'The boys wouldn't let me play...' I repeated mentally 'Why?'

It didn't sound too 'impersonal' and cool-headed to me. If you followed that train of thought, without going to extremes, if for whatever reason, L had an even slightly personal ground to be a bit less than partial in his motive to catch and punish B, then we were just different sides to the same coin. And he was, in that sense, no better than me.

I wanted to make sure B was alright, while L 'could see why I shouldn't want to leave B to him.' It was a bit disturbing to even think of those words. But on the other side, I didn't want to start thinking ill of L either. I still thought affectionately of him, and the fact that he hadn't attempted to kill me, but to lazily protect me, had to at least count off as 10 points for Gryffindor. This was only but a grown-up dispute.

Sadly for me, I understood that B would never be able to return to the Wammy's House. It sort of hurt, but it was to be expected. The Wammy's House was not arguable. But maybe other places were.

"What if starts talking about the Wammy's House to other people?" I vaguely objected.

He replied as if he'd been expecting a response of the kind.

"I'll worry about it."

Yes, of course L would worry about it.
I stared at the ceiling, doing thinking.

"Would you be open to discuss the idea of sending him to a psychiatric hospital instead?"

I sat back again, hugging my knees close to my chest. Maybe it wasn't Candyland, but it was more than anybody else could ever hope for.

He bit his thumb. I could tell because of the strange humming sound coming from the phone.

"Please?" I begged hopefully, out of character. It was not too grown-uppy and it maybe even counted as playing dirty, but I'd fight for it.

My right ear was stuck to the phone, in case I should notice a suspicious sound.

"I would be open to discussion."

I smiled. One small victory at the time.

"Moving on, I don't think it would be wise for you to try and engage in contact with him before we've caught him." He went on "In fact, for your own safety, I would suggest we let him believe you've died."

"You are not to do such thing." I threatened.

Actually, I didn't know why I cared about that so. It's not like it should affect B much, right? What L had suggested seemed to make a great deal worth of sense. But for some reason not fully known to myself, I was reluctant to have that take place.

He took a pause before answering.

"It's your call." He didn't seem too bothered by my choice "But you're still not to go after him without us previously agreeing so. It's not just your safety that I'm concerned about."

I sighed.

"Fair enough. I expected no more." I concurred.
"In that case, I believe there are no more items to discuss, unless, of course, you've got something to add..?"
I thought about it.
"N-No... Wait, actually." I remembered "What does Wedy have to do with this at all?"

By his reaction, I figured she'd been the last of his concerns at the moment.

"She was a good idea." He replied mid-typing.
"A good idea?"

An 'uh-hum'.

"It was your idea. Maybe I modified it a bit, but it was still good in principle. I wonder if I'll use it in the future again."

I sighed. One got enough of that at the Wammy's House. A lot of bragging, little explanations.

"Why don't you come to my room? I've got something to show you." He mused.

I stood silent for a while and then giggled like a teenage girl (which I was, come to think of it). In case there are any children present, I'll avoid saying what it was that I'd thought.

Because of the pause, L didn't seem to find what was so amusing either. He'd just have to give it a minute.

"I'll be right there." I said once I'd quieted down.
"Alright then." He ended the conversation.

Hey guys, sorry for taking so long in updating. It wasn't helpful at all that I'm sick AND have big important tests to handle this week (and tomorrow. Yes. This chapter was procrastination at its best.) Hopefully I'll find more time to write soon. :)