Hey I didn't think i'd ever write fan fiction again because I've been so busy with college but I decide to try. If anyone has any ideas of Jade/Bade prompts, just let me know. Would love to hear your thoughts!

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The gang was sitting in the courtyard, hanging out after school, debating on what to do since t was a Friday.

Jade had fallen asleep in his car the second she got in, so Beck was sitting in the drivers seat while the gang was next to his window, trying to figure out when they were going to hang out. Jade's head was resting in his lap and he was playing with her hair in between his fingers. He noticed her starting to thrash around, like she did when she had nightmares.

"Babe, wake up!" He said gently using his hand to protect her from hitting her head on the steering wheel. He noticed she had tears in her eyes and was shaking. The group hadn't noticed what had happened, but Jade sat up. She reached her his hand and squeezed it, and he used his thumb to caress her hand.

"What's wrong with Jadey?" Cat asked suddenly, clueing the group into the girl who was staring straight ahead, tears in her eyes, shaking, but not moving or saying anything.

As soon as Jade heard people mention her, she quickly wiped her tears away and put on her mask of protection.

"Nothing, guys, just leave her alone for now, okay?" Beck covered for her.

They decided to meet up at Tori's house that night to just play board games and watch movies. They were going to meet up for dinner later that night at a new restaurant that opened, so Beck drove them back to his RV and got Jade back in bed.

•••

She wouldn't talk to him and she was usually like this after her nightmares because she had to understand them herself before she told him.

Jade literally hadn't said a word since during school and it was starting to scare him.

"Babe?" He asked, after they parked. They were outside the restaurant. She turned her head. "Huh?"

"What's going on? Do you want to go home?" He asked, searching her eyes for answers.

"Nothing, I'm fine," she lied.

"Are you sure? You haven't said one word since school," he replied, turning her head so she would look him in the eyes.

"I'm not really ready to talk about it, okay?" She said. This was when she was most vulnerable.

People thought that because Jade was so blatantly honest she would be that way with her feelings. She was that way with anger. But not with sadness. Jade believed 'if you ignore it, it will go away'. Back didn't. He knew that sooner or later she would keep bottling all her feelings up and end up either exploding at him or just hurting herself.

"Okay. I'm here when you're ready." He told her as they made their way inside and pretended like nothing was wrong.

••

Beck was really concerned when they got to Tori's house. Tori suggested they watched some chick flick and Jade didn't protest at all. She didn't react. She kept zoning out. And hen when Cat got excited and started singing an annoying song about people being in love, normally Jade would be the one the tell her to stop. He noticed that she was griping the couch so hard her knuckles were white.

"Babe, sit on my lap," he mumbled. She moved and he wrapped his arms around her stomach and every now and then kissed her neck. She leaned her head into the crook of his neck and he could feel her body relax into him.

"I love you," he mumbled, earning him a quick smile.

"Can we talk?" He mumbled into his ear, not being able to focus on the movies because he was concerned she was about to blow up somehow.

Jade got up and they went into the kitchen. Tori glanced at them, but Beck gave a thumbs up and she returned her attention to the movie.

"I know you don't like talking about your problems but you've been holding something in all day and I know you're hurting and I can't stop thinking about you being upset and it's killing me," he rambled. "Please talk to me."

Jade sighed, grabbed his hand, and led him onto the patio so they could have privacy.

"My mom threatened to send me in patient to a mental health center to deal with my cutting and depression," she mumbled, tears surfacing.

"I don't want to go to a fucking mental hospital!" She cried out, finally letting herself be open.

"I know she wants to help me but I'm not crazy. I don't need to be put into a hospital. Yeah, I'm hurting myself but I know how far to go before I actually could kill myself. And I only think about it. I've never tried it," she defended herself.

"Babe, I thought you stopped," he asked, sighing. "I did! I swear I haven't cut since a couple months ago when we talked but my mom found my diary and she got really scared and was trying to think of ways to help me."

"Are you going to a therapist?" He asked.

"Well I go, but I just sit there and don't say anything," she replied, sighing.

"It's weird. I don't want to talk to somebody I don't know, who doesn't care about me, and tel them all my secrets."

"Can I come with you? Would you be more open talking with her if I was there to calm you down? Maybe your mom will give that a chance," he suggested. She nodded.

"Thanks. I like that idea."

••

About a week later, Jade had talked her mom into letting her try therapy one more time before she was put into a mental hospital against her will.

Jade was sitting in the ugly purple chairs in the waiting room, watching the snotty children run around and trying to come up with things to say.

"Hey this is Beck. Is it okay if he stays with me?" She asked her doctor. The woman nodded and watched as the couple sat down on the couch.

"Okay so here's the deal," Jade sighed. l've bee n depressed since I was like 7 but I haven't told anybody up until about a year ago. I've been self-harming for about five years. My mom threatened to put me into a mental hospital because I've had suicidal thoughts but I tried explaining to her that I've never actually tried to kill my self before, I've only thought about it," Jade rambled, looking at her own hands and disclosing information she never thought she would share. Beck squeezed her hand in reassurance.

And that's how it began: Jade wanting to get help.