Chapter 37 – It's your choice

"Oh come on, Shinra. Of all the times, now you suddenly act like a real doctor?" the informant scoffed while rolling his eyes. He was trying to leave as soon as Shinra was finished with his check-up and even though he was as well as he could be the doctor just refused to let him go home. It was ridiculous. There were lots of other times Izaya's well-being was much worse in which the brunette practically shooed him out right after he had finished patching up Izaya.

"I'm okay, and if you let me go now I'll behave like a good little boy and lock myself inside my apartment. Preferably one the brute doesn't know of." he mumbled the last part. Sitting up he let his feet slide over the edge of the bed. Ready to stand up as soon as the medic gave his ok.

The doctor sat in the chair Shizu-chan had dozed off in the last time Izaya woke up here.

"No can do, Izaya. I AM a doctor, fake license or not. As your doctor AND friend I'll only let you to leave once your legal guardian is coming to pick you up." Shinra said taking off his glasses.

"First, I'm 21 and second even if not my 'legal guardians' are currently out of the country. You sure you want to spoil your alone time with Courier-san until they give a shit? And second, would you stop cleaning your glasses all the time? They can't get dirty that much."

"I wasn't talking about your parents." Shinra countered while he whipped his specs with the fabric of his white lab coat. "Also, you would know how fast glasses get dirty if you'd ear your outside your home." The raven haired man scoffed at that.

"Yeah, as if you leave the apartment all the time. You're basically a hikikomori."

The brunette sighed.

"I'm not. I go out for shopping and sometimes for work." he finally put his glasses back on. "And since you only wear your glasses when working on your computer you don't have to clean them so much, so don't talk as if you know how easily mine get dirty."

"Why are we even talking about dirty specs? Let me go home already." Izaya whined his legs swinging back and forth.

"you started it and I won't let you leave so you can run away from Shizuo and your feelings any longer. I'm sick of it."

"Prescribe yourself some drugs against it then."

"Izaya."

"Shinra."

"I'm serious here." the doctor challenged.

"And for once I would prefer your carefree attitude. Also I'm not running away from any feelings. Haven't you noticed how I tell everyone how much I hate that protozoan?"

"You hate that you love him."

The info-broker opened his mouth in retort when the door opened and a certain big handsome blond stepped in. Shizuo's face spoke volumes. It went from surprised seeing the ravenette up to happy seeing him looking better, then to blushing probably thinking back to Izaya's slip of the tongue earlier to serious and then sheepish in seconds.

"I brought you otoro." he said holding up the styrofoam-box which held his crush's ambrosia.

"Oh, Shizu-chan. You do know how to win a man's heart." Izaya regretted his out of habit teasing that automatically left his lips. Shinra sent him a meaningful grin as he stood up from the chair making his way towards the door in which the big guy still lingered.

"I'll leave you two alone." That said he wiggled out of the room before pushing his childhood friend inside to shut the door behind himself.

Awkward silence hung between them that got broken by the growling of Izaya's stomach.

"Well?" he started. "You gonna give me the otoro or not?" Before the other could answer they heard their mutual "friend" laugh from outside the room.

"Oh, he probably wants to give you a lot more than that!" Ignoring the pervert Shizuo stepped forward to give Izaya the desired food. He left his own styrofoam on the bed in order to drag the chair to Izaya's side. Sitting down there he left no room for the flea to run away from him and their mutual feelings any longer.

The smaller man sighed. Even though only reluctant he did realize there was now turning back now. Izaya had slipped up and now the cat is out of the bag. He couldn't hold back the laugh at the comparison since he himself was a cat not too long ago.

Steeling himself he looked at the blonde's face noticing the disarming smile he wore on his face.

"I like that laugh. Much more than that shitty fake one you always have." Shizuo's voice dripped with fondness. The dark male rolled his eyes at that.

"You're such a sap."

"You love that sap."

"Do not! Who told you that nonsense?!"

A hand slightly bigger than his came up to cup his left right cheek. He wanted to move away but the warmth of the touch and the rareness of being touched by others had him frozen in place. A blush dusted over his cheeks.

"You did." Shizu-chan whispered softly. "When you told me how you fell for a stupid dickhead who was too stupid to admit to himself the fluttery feeling inside his stomach was love instead of hate." Speaking of fluttery feelings that was what Izaya felt inside his stomach right now, and he hated every second of it.

"If I remember correctly I said idiot not dickhead."

Shizuo snorted at the answer he got. The dark haired one finaly found the strenght to push that hand with the thumb stroking the skin of his cheek away.

"I noticed too late, Izaya." Hearing the blonde say his name in such a way, for once not shouting it in anger, but sopping with the depth of his feelings for the other had his heart skip a few beats.

Oh how he hated that man! He hate d him so damn much. It had taken him an eternity to bury his stupid feelings and build wall after wall around the grave so they'll never emerge again and start eating at him and that stupid brute was plowing through them and digging them out again with his bare hands in mere seconds.

Izaya hated him for doing that just as much as he hated himself for being so weak.

"Please, give me... give us another chance." Ikebukuro's strongest begged for him. The informant only shook his head. Shizu-chan was killing him. Killing him! How can the beast act and talk so weak without drawing disgust from him?! The only one he was disgusted at was himself. For even listening to what the other had to say, for not shutting him down immediately. It was so easy that stormy night, but since his slip-up he felt something changed.

It was like the stupid idiot had kicked over the bucket filled to the brim with Izaya's liquid emotions and let them spill out so they could never be held by it ever again.

"No." came his whisper while he shook his head again. "No." Louder now. "I don't want to."

For once he had to tell the other the truth. No talking around the true meaning or playing with his words to lead him off. Just plainly the truth.

"I worked so hard to give up on you. I did all those things so you would hate me even more than I thought you did."

He slapped away the hand that was trying to touch him again.

"Don't get me wrong! I had my fun doing what I did and I regret nothing!" The ex-bartender let out a deep sigh but kept silent for now. Izaya continued.

"Being turned into a cat and losing myself to instinct just woke up those stupid emotions, so don't even dare getting encouraged from how I acted back then!" Shizuo's looked at him in shock.

"I may have remembered how I felt for you once, but I don't want to act upon those memories. I have no intentions of starting any sappy relationship with you and acting lovey dovey! So suck it up and leave me alone with your feeli-" "Dammit, Flea! Do you hear yourself talking?!" Shizu-chan barked interrupting the dark haired one. "Shut up and just let me love you!" he shouted before forcing his lips against Izaya's. The kiss got returned for a few too short seconds before the smaller snapped back into focus biting down on the other drawing blood.

"I always knew you were a blood sucking louse, Flea." the amoeba growled. The sound of it called back the pleasant tingle the Flea always felt during their chases.

"Listen to me, and listen well. I want to be gentle with you, but if you're gonna be like that I'll try it the hard way! I'm gonna chase that fucking loveable ass of yours and scream out my love for you for everyone to hear until you love me back... again... So you either turn submissive now and become mine or I'll beat my love into your masochistic self so you'll never forget who you belong to."

Izaya wasn't one for pain, but god! Those harsh possessive words made shivers run up and down his spine like they ran a marathon.

"You do realize how creepy you sound? I could get an injunction for you to keep your distance from me for those words." The threat didn't sound as ominous as intended to be thanks to his throat suddenly feeling like a desert. The brute started to lean in on him again.

"Do it." he growled only inches away from those lips that tasted blood not too long ago. "I'll crumble it and stick it up your ass to teach yo-" "Please!" a long forgotten third voice from the other side of the door interfered. "If you two gonna have angry-sex, please have it somewhere NOT in Celty and my love nest."

The beast's patience snapped. He grabbed the dark one and threw him over his shoulders.

"Yours or mine?" he asked earning himself a squeaked out "What?!" in return.

"Forget it. Mine is closer."

Both of Shizuo's hands were occupied with keeping the louse still since he struggled against him, so he just kicked open the door barely missing the one who just ruined moment for him.

"Hey doc." he called out to his friend in passing. "Gonna take my kitty back home now. Prepare yourself for a beating after Izaya and I got everything cleared up between us."

"What the-?! Are you kidding me?! Oi, Shinra! Call the police! Courier-san, you here? I'll pay you double if you safe me! Hey!"

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