A/N: I've had a request that I remove the list at the bottom of the chapters and instead only post those that appear in the chapter, how do we feel about this?

Also, this chapter is pieced together from several snippets I wrote separately. They seemed to go decently together, so I thought 'why not?' But you'll notice that it might seem a bit disjointed, so I figured I'd forewarn you.

xoxoxo

At school the next day, David told Kurt about the talk he had with Burt Hummel. He didn't give him any specifics (he wasn't certain whether or not Burt wanted his son knowing what kind of person he'd been in high school) but instead had simply told him that he and Burt had had a heart-to-heart and Burt could tell that David was shaping up to be a good kid. Kurt hadn't pressed for details.

As David began to walk away, Kurt grabbed him in a fierce hug, his arms wedged under David's armpits as he squeezed him tightly. He pulled away briefly before pulling David into another tight; wrapping his arms around his waist this time. Mercedes tilted her head, staring at Kurt confusedly. Kurt normally wasn't an overly affectionate person. David looked equally confused. "Um…should I feel violated?"

Kurt just smiled coyly. "No. Is it wrong for me to love my boyfriend so much?" Kurt placed his hand on David's shoulder and let it trail seductively down his arm until he reached his wrist and held it in his hand, swinging their arms back and forth playfully.

David narrowed his eyes and then decided Kurt's playful mood must have something to do with their reconciliation with his dad. "O…k. Well, I'm going to be late for calc. I'll catch you at lunch, right? My house?"

"Yep. Love you, handsome." Kurt waggled his fingers at David as David turned around and walked off down the hall.

"All right…what are you up to?"

Kurt smiled devilishly. "Nothing…" Mercedes pursed her lips and planted her hands on her hips. Kurt seemed to melt into a giddy mess. "You can't tell anyone."

"Oh my god! You had sex!"

Kurt blushed and let out a nervous giggle. "No! Not yet, anyway." Kurt bit his lip at the thought of that. He was kind of sort of ready, in a general sense, but David hadn't tried pushing him or shown any interest in that really. They'd only been dating a few weeks and David was still getting used to being 'out, loud and proud.' Kurt didn't feel like he should be the one to broach the subject; he'd let David decide when he was ready. "David's birthday is in a few weeks and I couldn't for the life of me think of what to get him. His parents are looaaddeedd; they can buy him anything, and given that he's turning eighteen it's likely that anything I get him will be vastly overshadowed by his other birthday presents."

"So, you're just going to molest him for his birthday?"

"No." Kurt shot Mercedes a playfully exacerbated look. "One thing I can get for David that his parents cannot, is a sense of fashion. I happen to know that David has something of a leather fetish – not in the sexual sense." Kurt cut off Mercedes almost the moment she opened her mouth to make a witty remark. "He loves the look of leather and let me tell you, it looks hot on him. The only problem is, it's really hard to get him anything leather because he's against the horrific treatment of livestock."

"Oh please. He could suck a wildebeest through a straw…I'm pretty sure I've seen him do it."

Kurt held up a hand, agreeing with and placating Mercedes. "Very true, but only if that wildebeest is reared and slaughtered humanely. It's really hard to tell if animals are slaughtered humanely, so he keeps kosher-slash-halaal. I have no way to tell whether or not clothes are kosher."

"What the hell does any of this have to do with you feeling him up in front of god and everybody?"

"I'm getting there. Anyway…I found this website that sells leather that comes from kosher cows. I'm going to make him a leather jacket. I've been sewing since my parents were positive that I wouldn't ingest the needles."

"Aaaannndddd?"

"I am intimately familiar with my own personal measurements, but it would be rather suspicious if I asked Dave to hold still for a few minutes while I wrapped him up in a cloth measuring tape. So I used my knowledge of my own body to take the measurements for his chest, waist, shoulder-to-wrist and wrist circumference."

Mercedes furrowed her brow while she thought that over. "That is pretty clever…creepy, but clever.

xoxoxo

"So if I don't get in to NYADA, I may need your dad to help me 'eliminate' some of the competition…"

David sighed as he pushed the front door open. "Kurt, you know my dad can't-"

"I'm joking with you, David. Jeez, way to have a sense of humor. Besides, I'm positive I can get in all on my own. Who's home?" Kurt passed David in the doorway as David held the door open for him (ever the gentleman) and saw that the television was on.

"Oh, Homer prefers to watch the TV down here every now and then. It's the only television in the house with a DVR."

Kurt's eyes went wide. "Your rat watches television?"

"Yep. This is Modern Marvels, one of his favorite shows. Is this the episode on the Library of Congress?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "How the hell should I know?"

David smiled at Kurt and bent over the back of the couch. "I wasn't asking you; I was asking Homer." David reached his hand down and stroked the rat's back. Homer scuttled into David's hand and climbed up his arm until he was sitting on his shoulder.

"Wait…you can talk to him? I mean, you understand him? And he understands you?" Kurt almost fainted when the pudgy rodent raised a paw and waved at him.

"Well, yeah. Of course. I can understand all animals and they can understand me. I can also control them if need be; but, you already knew that. Homer's my sacred animal…like Athena and the Owl, or Hera and the peacock."

Kurt dumbly waved back at Homer. "He doesn't hate me for how I um…reacted the first time we met, does he?"

David shook his head. "No, Homer says he doesn't blame you. He says the vast majority of his kind are filthy, uncouth vermin not fit to lay claim to the vastly superior intelligence they're capable of." The rat looked at David for a moment; Kurt was pretty sure he could hear it letting out the tiniest of squeak-like noises. "Sorry. 'The vastly superior intelligence of which they're capable.' Homer likes to be a grammar-Nazi."

The rat was smart? Kurt felt like he should begin questioning everything he ever believed in. When he had overcome the shock of the fact that Homer was correcting David's speech, he said the first thing that came to mind. "Tell Homer that the grammar rule 'you can't end sentences with a preposition' is one of the biggest grammar myths that there is. Your first sentence was completely correct."

David turned to face Homer for a moment. To Kurt, it looked like they were having a staring competition. After a moment or so, David turned back to face Kurt, "I don't need to tell him; he understands you perfectly well. However, Homer would like me to tell you that even if he did accept it as a myth, which he does not, given that I was quoting him, I should quote him correctly instead of paraphrasing or changing his sentence structure." Homer nodded his head sharply, as though to say 'so there.'

Kurt was a bit taken aback by that. He'd never gotten in a fight with an animal before, but he had to confess, the rodent was pretty damned smart. Rather than admit defeat, Kurt turned his attention back to David. "Come on, let's get lunch before we have to head back to school."

David stroked Homer's head and scooped him off his shoulder and placed him on the back of the couch. "I made us salads last night. You like arugula in yours, right?"

"I love arugula in mine."

xoxoxo

Later that afternoon, Kurt sat at the coffee table in his own living room, stacks of papers and his checkbooks spread out before him. The early admission application had been sent off to NYADA weeks ago, but there was still the horrific "what if?" to consider. NYU was a definite backup, as was Parson's, and then Boston University had somehow made it into the pile. He had his essays, transcripts, letters of recommendation and resumes all lined up. All he had to do was pack up each envelope and send them off.

Pavarotti was sitting on his shoulder, occasionally pecking at a tiny freckle on the side of his jaw line. At one point, Kurt had been forced to pull himself away from his work to go to the bathroom and see what had Pavarotti so transfixed; truth be told, he had never noticed the tiny little imperfection in his skin before. Oh well, nothing concealer wouldn't…conceal. As he sorted each of the piles of papers so that they were with the correct college (checking each essay twice as well as each letter of intent to make sure they didn't have the wrong college mentioned…oh, how embarrassing that would be), he whistled away. Every few strains, Pavarotti would take the tune up with a chirp here, a chirp there, or just a shrill whistle.

Kurt turned his head to kiss Pavarotti on his beak; Pavarotti fluffed up the feathers around his cheeks, making it look like he was blushing. "I'm going to have to live off campus; most colleges don't allow birds in the dorms." Pavarotti chirped. Kurt wasn't sure whether or not Pavarotti understood a word he was saying, but he still seemed to be listening, which was reassuring. He'd have to ask David later whether or not all animals could understand people, or if Homer was just special because he was David's sacred animal.

Once Kurt had loaded and sealed up the final envelope, Kurt placed his finger under Pavarotti's breast, prompting the canary to step up. Kurt took him back to his cage in his bedroom. He refreshed Pavarotti's water before digging through his closet for an appropriate outfit for work. He did his best to dress fashionably, while keeping modest, restrained and subtle. Perfectly tailored black dress pants, a button-up violet blouse and a fitted black suit jacket made him look classy and chic. Kurt smiled at his reflection and blew himself a kiss. The suit flattered him in many ways; he looked professional, intelligent and his ass looked great. Coiffing his hair a bit, Kurt decided he was ready for work.

xoxoxo

"How was school?"

"Hmm? It's kind of hard to focus on high school right now." Kurt was in the back room at Olivine, being shown all of the 'important' documents Paul kept around. " I sent out the last of my college applications today and now that's all I can think about. Where will I be this time next year? What will I be doing? Will I enjoy it? Will I have any of my friends with me? Rachel and I are hoping to get into NYADA together. It's supposed to be one of the best schools for musical theatre." Kurt flipped through the Buccellati advertisement that was at least five years old. He couldn't imagine why Paul insisted on keeping out-dated magazines around. Half these designs probably weren't even produced any longer. "What do you think David's going to do when…if he grows up?"

"I'm leaning towards crazy cat lady."

Kurt snickered. If ever there was a dream job for David that was it. "I know he doesn't have to work, or anything, but what do you think he'd enjoy doing?"

Paul shrugged. "He'll probably fall into whatever employment he winds up in. He lacks the ambition to actively seek out anything."

Kurt pursed his lips. It wasn't that David lacked ambition; he lacked motivation. He had no reason to inconvenience himself or to go outside his comfort zone. "Has he applied to any colleges, yet?"

"Texas A&M and UConn, that I'm aware of."

Kurt frowned. Those sounded like they were a long way away from New York. Granted, since Kurt hadn't traveled a whole lot in his life, his internal measurement system was horrifically off (his failed trip to the Mall of America when he first got his license had proven how bad he was at judging time and distance), but he was pretty certain if David wound up in Texas their relationship would be very long distance and he had a sneaking suspicion that UConn was a bit of a hike as well. "What's he planning in majoring in? Or is he basing it on sports programs?"

Paul shrugged again. "I try to stay out of it; he has all of eternity to figure out what he's good at and what interests him. I do know that both of those schools have strong math and science programs, as well as formidable football teams." Kurt had a forlorn look on his face, not quite depressed, but more like a sense of defeat. Almost psychically Paul knew exactly what was upsetting Kurt. "Your relationship will last only as long as it's meant to last and you're willing to work for it." Kurt looked up from a stack of old Bead and Button magazines. His expression looked moderately more hopeful. "Besides…his birthday is in a few weeks. He'll be able to have full use of his godly powers and domain soon." Kurt didn't seem to understand. "He'll be able to teleport; he'll be able to visit you whenever you want."

Kurt smiled and wiggled around a bit. It looked like he was trying to wag a tail he didn't own. Paul smiled at him; he liked his son dating someone so upbeat, perky and easy to please, even if he thought the relationship was doomed to failure. Kurt flipped through a second stack of magazines. Something unusual popped out at him, "Paul, Friedman's doesn't even exist anymore, why are you keeping these old magazines around?"

Paul took one of the magazines possessively from Kurt. "You never know when the information might come in handy." Kurt raised an eyebrow at Paul. "Do you have any idea how many people have lived and died since the Underworld came into existence? If you want to keep track of anything, paperwork is crucial. You need paperwork to keep organized."

Kurt nodded, his arms folded over his chest. "I agree… if you can keep the paperwork organized. As it is, I doubt you can find anything in all these piles of garbage."

Paul looked somewhat taken aback and defensive. "You think you can do a better job organizing all of this?" Paul gestured to the stacks of magazines, advertisements, invoices, receipts, tax forms and miscellaneous papers.

Kurt chewed over his lip for second, surveying the paperwork minefield he currently found himself surrounded by. Tentatively, he opened his mouth, fully aware of the amount of work he was about to create for himself. "Yes…but I can't do it with a Hewlett-Packard that's almost the same age as myself."

xoxoxo

"How the hell did you convince my dad to upgrade the computers at work?" The moment David had shown up, dressed to the nines in a lovely navy-blue suit, with a silver vest and matching tie, Paul had shoved them both, Kurt and David, out the front door, company credit card in hand.

"Simple, I told him that he could eliminate almost all of the paperwork in the backroom if he let me scan everything into PDF files. He loved the idea, but your old desktops don't have nearly enough resources to hold all those files and be able to open, read and search them in a timely manner."

"That's it? That's all it took? I've been trying to get him to upgrade the computers for years; he always just accused me of trying to play computer games at work."

"Were you?"

David was silent for a moment before he quietly said, "…That's besides the point." In a louder, more confident voice he added, "I could get my work done in half the time if it didn't take fifteen minutes to open up Internet Explorer every time I need to e-mail an order. So what did you have in mind? I really like those cool Alienware machines they have on The Big Bang Theory."

Kurt rolled his eyes. He himself had a very limited knowledge when it came to computers, but David was infinitely worse. "We are not looking for 'cool' or for 'fun.' We are looking for functionality…and preferably something idiot-proof. Considering neither you nor Paul know anything about computers beyond basic word processing, e-mails and solitaire I think we need to go with something intuitive that you can't screw up. And seeing as our budget is somewhat unlimited, I think the simplest thing for us to do would be to go to the Apple store."

David scrunched up his nose in distaste as he tried to keep pace with Kurt in the mall. Kurt didn't even need to look at the directory once they arrived there, something David found mindboggling given the sheer size of the place. "Aren't Macs for fanboys?"

Kurt sighed. "I am not starting a Mac versus PC fight with you. You have to go well out of your way to mess up a Mac and everything made by Mac plays very nicely with everything else made by Mac, whereas with PCs, there are so many companies out there making PC components you can never be sure when you're going to have compatibility issues. Plus, Mac has really great customer service. I'm thinking two MacBooks, which would make it easier for you two to do work at home, a time capsule to keep everything backed up, a professional version of Adobe Acrobat and the best scanner we can get our paws on."

Kurt looked driven; he was a man on a mission. David was almost afraid to say anything contrary.

An hour later, Kurt and David had a stack of shiny white boxes and their own personal escort to help them bring the stack back to Paul's lovely, black Lincoln Town Car. Kurt could get used to life like this.

xoxoxo

Everyone in this chapter you damn well better know by now...