Rock Lee is working at Bandit Camp.
"Well, if a customer comes in and claims that a certain item is cheaper at another shop, we do conduct a full-scale investigation into the claim. First, we restrain the customer using one of our top quality handcuffs at 100 Ryou each. Then, we bring in ANBU to interrogate the customer at one of our excellent battle scenarios to see if the claim isn't part of some elaborate scam or fraud involving another shop and the customer. And after 36 hours, if ANBU is satisfied with the customer's story, the DNA tests come back negative and the cavity search is fruitless, then we are happy to beat that lower price by 10 percent..."
[Ramen Bowls with non-matching Chopsticks: 899 Ryou]
[Other Shinobi's Ointment: 200 Ryou each]
Lee continues. "Look, if the other shop is so good, why didn't they go there in the first place?"
[Bandit Camp: The cheapest place to get your illegal weapons. Like Lee said, if the other shop is so good, why didn't you go there in the first place?]
Naruto News Show: Series Four
By PikaFlash And the News Team
Edition 7: Avatar Cameo
Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and scenes are not.
Naruto looks at the camera from his book, Icha Icha Paradise. "Hello, everyone. On this edition of the Naruto News Show:"
[Hokage's nice polished floor ruined by other Shinobi's Footwear]
[Poll rigging tampered with, claims President Orochimaru]
[And Konohamaru gets taken to hospital. His reply: "Get your stinking paw-paws off me, you dirty Pikachus!"]
Naruto toss a sheet of paper behind him. "Hello. As the Japanese President is going on his world tour, undermining any confidence that the Foreign Minister has in his own abilities. Tenten is embedded with the President's camp like an irritating pebble in his shoe..."
[Tenten reporting]
Japanese President Ash is shaking hands with American President Max Tate.
Tenten: "Everything is going according to plan as Japanese President Ash Ketchum shakes hands with American President Tate. For President Ash, he really has nothing to do but to shake hands and do nothing. My god! What does Japan have to do to be taken seriously?"
Tenten is sitting in front of a background of Tokyo International Airport.
"This is Tenten at Terminal 1 of Tokyo International Airport, for the Naruto News Show."
Naruto walks by behind Tenten past the blue screen background. "Thanks Tenten." Naruto walks towards his desk in the studio, holding a bowl of Ramen. "I wonder what the former President's reaction to that World Tour be..."
[Son Goku's Residence]
A refrigerator gets thrown out of a window into the garden...
"Figures," said Naruto. "Anyway, on to another story, Toph Bei Fong from the series Avatar: The Last Airbender has temporary left Nickelodeon studios to travel to an Earthquake hit area for a Miracle Story."
Toph is sitting at the set for Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Naruto: "Toph, it is an interesting story of personal courage and survival."
Toph shakes her head. "Well, Naruto. It would have been, but unfortunately, it got canceled at the last minute."
Naruto: "Really? Why?"
Toph looks around. "I had blocked ears. So as a result, my doctor said that I shouldn't fly."
Naruto: "Ok, then I'll cross out that Earthquake Miracle Story this Friday then."
Toph smiled. "But the good news is that I got so much done. I was able to clear out my TiVo full of Avatar: The Last Airbender Episodes and sneak a peek on Cartoon Network to see what good shows they have."
Naruto: "Hang on, Toph. I thought you are blind?"
Toph looks around. "Erm, can we move this along, Naruto? I got to get Katara to do a practice kissing scene to freak out the boys backstage."
Naruto: Right. Thank you, Toph.
Naruto looks at a camera.
[Instant Love]
"Well, time for singles have many avenues opened to them. Ino Yamanaka takes a look at one of the newer ones: Speed Dating."
[Ino Yamanaka Reporting]
Two Jonins and a Chunin are having a drink in a Bar...
Ino: "Gai, Kakashi and Shikamaru are single men who spend most of their hours risking their lives for Konoha. Opportunities to meet single women are limited."
Meanwhile at the other side of the Bar, Shizune, Anko and Temari are holding wine glasses. "Cheers!"
Ino: "Similarly, Shizune, Anko and Temari are busy Shinobis as well and have found little time in their lives for Romance."
Ino is at the same Bar. "In Speed Dating, singles are prescribed a particular amount of time, usually one minute, to impress a prospective partner."
Outside a room, Hinata is holding a clipboard in front of Shikamaru, Gai and Kakashi. "Ok, boys. You got 60 seconds with each lady, starting from now."
The three Shinobis enter the room, where Anko, Temari and Shizune are each sitting at a table. First, Shikamaru sits in front of Shizune, Kakashi picks Anko and Gai takes Temari. As soon as all three guys sat in front of their prospective ladies...
"No," said all three women.
Next, Shikamaru gets Anko, Kakashi gets Temari and Gai gets Shizune. Just as the three men sat on their seats...
"No," said all three women.
Finally, Shikamaru sits with Temari, Kakashi goes with Shizune and Gai moves to Anko. Before the three Shinobis could even sit on their seats...
"No," said all three women.
Ino is outside. "It's ugly and painful, but at least it's over quickly. Ino Yamanaka for the Naruto News Show."
Naruto nods. "What a great idea, right Sakura?"
Sakura is sitting next to Naruto at the news desk. "Yes."
Naruto looks at the camera, ignoring Sakura. "She agrees with me..."
[An Edit Later...]
Naruto was sleeping at his desk when a bowl of Ramen is placed on the desk by Sasuke, instantly waking Naruto up. "A little bird has told me that it's time for us to have a quick look at the Bureau of Meteorology. Neji?"
Neji is standing in front of the continent map of the Naruto World. "Thanks, Naruto. As you can see, there are 0 chances of Meteors falling onto Konoha.
[Fire Country: 0 Meteors]
Neji continues. "And none are going to fall on Suna, Kumo, Kirigakure or indeed, anywhere else."
[Wind Country: 0 Meteors]
[Lightning Country: 0 Meteors]
[Water Country: 0 Meteors]
Neji points at the map. "So it will be little or no chance for you getting hit tomorrow. Back to you, Naruto."
Naruto is wondering. "How long will they be able to justify their funding? Anyway, a quick look at tomorrow's headlines:"
[Konoha Times - "New Weapons to be sent by E-Mail"]
Naruto: "Konoha Times tells it like it is..."
[Suna Weekly - "Otogakure claims to have always own Pokémon"]
Naruto: "The Weekly taking no prisoners..."
[Konoha Herald - "101111011101100110011111"]
Naruto: "And Konoha Herald has a major problem with their computers."
"And thank you for watching," said Naruto. "Is Toph still at Nickelodeon studios?"
Toph is on camera. "Oh, Naruto. Can I just ask you one thing?"
Naruto: "What is it?"
"Well, are you wearing your orange pants under your desk?"
Naruto: "Why are you asking that question, Toph?"
"Guess whose pants are these?" Toph picks up a pair of black pants.
Naruto: "Erm...I don't think those are mine and I'm still wearing my orange pants."
Toph looks at the pants, only to remember that she's blind. "Oh well. I guess I should still do my victory dance anyway since it took so long to practice it."
Suddenly, dancing music is played and Toph begins to dance...
Back at the Naruto News Show studio, Naruto looks at the camera. "You know what, let's end it at this point before it get anymore pointless..."