Chapter 37

Lucas hasn't left my side all morning and to be blunt I wouldn't have it any other way. He's become such a huge part of my life I couldn't imagine him not being around. Even thinking about how lonely I truly was before him scares me, and I don't want to go back there. It's 6 o'clock in the evening and my first fight is at 8. I'm not sure against whom yet, but as soon as I step foot into the abandoned warehouse it hits me that this is my last time. I would like to say it's a sad farewell, but looking into my future I see Sparky and I see me without bruises so I'm really saying good riddance.

I can't go back after tonight. First, Felix would find some way to torture me. Second, I'd have withdrawals and want to shoot up. So it's best if I steer clear. Sparky; Johnson, Jon, Josh, Ace and Blondie are all behind me. It took some serious convincing from Zay for blondie to come, but after he explained everything to her, she didn't hesitate to agree. Josh was right, the death grip on my hand right now wouldn't be able to be removed from just two people. Hell if his adrenaline gets pumping then I don't know if 3 could do it.

"Rebel."

"Eagle."

"I heard you're retiring." I nod with absolute certainty, "Give 'em hell." Oh if only she knew I can't. For whatever reason she falls into the group besides us, along with Dana and even Tsunami, I don't really remember her real name. I just remember her flipping all over the ring. It isn't until I see Marissa and Missy trudging towards us that I know why.

Sparky releases the hold on my hand and tugs me into his waist. "Rebel."

"Bradford Bitches."

"Ready for tonight?" Missy questions with an arrogant grin.

I smirk, and inhale deeply. "Yeah. Since extenuating circumstances prevent me from fighting with Marissa I guess I'll have to take it out on you. Hopefully." I take a step closer so I can whisper, "I recommend you fucking tap." I realize now why my friends have built a wall around me, they don't want the girls to try anything. It wouldn't surprise me if I got hit with a car that would have prevented me from fighting which would make me become Felix's slave forever.

I lead them all into the locker room. Except Ace and Blondie, she wasn't comfortable with that. I'm getting advice from every direction, Eagle is trying to tell me about my next opponent. Dana is trying to talk to me about 'no mercy'. Josh is trying to go over the game plan. Jon is trying to convince me to have a drink to relax. Johnson is arguing with Josh on the game plan. Sparky however is standing next to me while I warm up. "STOP!" I snap and stand up straighter. "Look, I appreciate everything you are all doing for me. But I'm seriously losing my fucking mind with all the chit chat going on. Game plan stays the same, get in and get the hell out. Jon I'm not fucking drinking. Eagle, thanks for the report right ankle, got it. Dana, there will be no mercy tonight, not until Finals. And sparky," I turn around to face him with a genuine smile on my face, "kiss me."

I ignore the groans from my friends because within mere seconds his lips are pressed against mine. I've grown soft. I admit it, but I have compassion and emotion now. Granted, I'm pushing that to the side tonight but, because of him I can live a life not like a robot. I give him one last peck before getting back to work. It's like he's in a state of comatose. He occasionally smirks but Lucas hasn't really said a word, he just stares at me with an unreadable expression on his face. "Josh come here." I yank him away from the group suffocating me. "You got this under control?" He only nods, "Do me a favor Josh. I know it's early but if the ref doesn't call the fight after a KO threaten to kill him or something." That causes laughter from the both of us and I welcome it with open arms. It's like people are afraid to be happy today. Can't say I blame them, they know I'm probably going to be turned into a bloody battered mess.

This should be a good day.

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10 o'clock. First fight was easy, I just broke her ankle. It took me a total of 4 minutes to end the fight and I managed to get out unscathed. My second fight was against Tsunami who tapped as soon as she hit the mat so I'd win. I made a mental note to give her some cash later, but right now I'm across the ring from Missy. I can't tell if that smirk is because of what I'll have to go through later or if it's because she's trying to mask her nerves. But, as soon as I see that lip quiver, I know she's nervous.

I turn towards Ace, someone I can always joke with. "Ladies and Gentleman up your bets this one will be a doozy." I'm really just trying to wipe that stoic expression off of their faces.

Josh yanks my arm down and Sparky instantly grabs his wrist. "Don't get cocky Riley or so help me I will rip you in half got me you little shit?"

"Josh, let her go." In one swoop motion everyone releases their grip. "Sweetheart he's right. Don't push it." His jaw was clenched and his eyes intense. For once I'm intimidated by Sparky, even though he's just a big teddy bear. I turn back towards my opponent and bounce on the balls of my feet.

"MISSY BULLY BRADFORD VS. REBEL RILEY MATTHEWS IN THE SEMI FINALS! LET ME HEAR IT!"
LET'S DO THIS SHIT BITCHES! KO OR TO!"

"READY AND FIGHT!"

Missy goes on offense first and swings at me. I dodge and tackle her to the ground, she always had a bad habit of leaving her waist line wide open. My knees pin her arms out to the side and I get to work. Every little bit of aggression is being taken out on her right now. She's my third best option since Marissa and Felix are untouchable.

Blow after blow, I can see the wrap around my hand turning a deep shade of red and she quit fighting underneath me. Blood pools on the mat beside her mouth and I know she's almost out, but not yet. I want to make her tap. If I'm going to risk losing the memories of people I love she shouldn't mind me rendering her arm useless.

I roll off and get into position. I stretch it back, I have so much adrenaline pumping through my body that even though I can feel her trying to resist one good heel kick to the ribs puts an end to that. "I RECOMMEND YOU FUCKING TAP IN 3…2…-"

"TAP OUT! BULLY BRADFORD TAPS! HOW THE HELL DID SHE MAKE IT THIS FAR?"

I stand up and my arm gets thrown in the air. Missy's face is already bruising, I broke her nose and I want to say dislocated her jaw from the looks of it. Among many scratches and bruises, I must have been on top of her a lot longer than I thought.

"MOVING ONTO FINALS IN 1 HOUR IS MENACING MARISSA BRADFORD AND REBEL RILEY MATTHEWS!"

I take a quick glance at the ground one more time while Missy is being drug out of the ring, and I can't help but think that will be me in a little over an hour. I slither out and Josh escorts me to a group of people who want my autograph, and even though I am so not in the mood right now, it all washes away once Sparky wraps his arm around my waist. I sign a few things even a girls boob, that wasn't awkward at all and I shift my gaze to the man on my left. "Sparky."

"Yes sweetheart?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." His lips touch my temple and that washes the nerves away. But, not for long. They keep coming back and I can't blame them. After 10 minutes of autographs and pictures I'm brought back to the locker room where I'm given a nasty ass shot of glucose. I don't care who you are or how many times you've taken it, that shit is foul. It's eerily silent in the locker room. Jon makes an occasional joke with Johnson but this silence is almost depressing.

I glance at the clock and 10 minutes before my fight I'd be rubbing Vaseline on my face, I don't really see the point though. "Riley."

I shift my eyes towards Maya, "Blondie."

"You know we'll all just bug the crap out of you if you forget us right?"

I laugh lightly, "Easy, it's starting to sound like you actually like me."

She lazily shrugged her shoulders and Ace wraps an arm around her. "Of course we do. You scare us about 90 percent of the time but you also have our back. Like how you sent me away at the diner that one time." I nod remembering how great it felt to knock them out. "Tonight, no matter how messed up this world is, we're going to have yours."

"Thanks Maya." Her eyes brighten up, "Yes I know your name."

Josh claps his hands together, "Game plan."

"Stay alive?" I joke but no one laughs, and Lucas' grip on my leg tightens. "Too soon?"

"Shut the fuck up Riley." My hands go up in surrender with Josh's words, "Game plan. Maya is going to be waiting in Lucas' truck so we can get you out of here as soon as possible. Zay, Johnson and Jon are going to be in charge of Luke." I know he's confused by that statement but he doesn't question it, "I will take care of you. Got it?"

I agree and take Sparky's hand. "5 minutes guys." I can't shake this feeling inside of me that something is going to go horribly wrong. I've been off about these things before, but I know tomorrow I'll wake up in a hospital bed or I won't wake up at all, depends on how generous the ref is feeling. After everyone but Lucas and I have left the locker room I shift my body towards him.

It was then that I see a few tears fall from his eyes. Oh, be still my fucking heart. My thumb gently wipes them away. "I love you Riley so goddamn much."

Great now I'm fucking crying. "I love you too." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but want to say goodbye to him. Even though I know he isn't going to have it. His forehead rests against mine and yet again, we're put in a position where we have no words. Everything that needs to be said has been said. But a few final instructions won't hurt. "Put that necklace back on me. And," I reach into my bag and pull out the box, "This is just a little reading material, your Christmas present." He instantly tries to pry it open, "Please don't read it yet. Just wait. It'll be worth it. Just be with me."

I feel like making love to him one more time, even though we did it twice last night and once this morning before everyone came over. But I can't, so I settle with a kiss, since I can't say goodbye with my words I kiss him like I'll never get another chance to. Because in reality I may not. Our lips move in sync together. His tongue brushes against my bottom lip and I open my mouth. I never thought I could love someone so much. I never thought I could feel like I'm on fire with every touch, or fireworks are going off with every kiss. Or that the mere idea of not being with him makes me want to rip out my own heart, pass it to Satan, and say 'just take me now'. My hands run through his hair and a deep moan gets released from the back of his throat.

We do this for I don't know how long, until we need some sort of oxygen. "Riley, I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. But-"I cut myself off because I'm not good at this whole apologizing shit, "I'm sorry that I dragged you into this. That was never my intention-"His finger pressed against my swollen lips stops me.

"I know what you're apologizing for and you don't have to. Yeah, I'm scared, scratch that I'm fucking terrified but I would do this over and over again, if in the end you are still with me." And here come the waterworks it's like I'm a water park. "I will take all the pain, all the punches, all the bullshit if at the end of our lives you're the woman rocking on the porch beside me." We sit in silence for a few seconds before he talks again, "I know that was a goodbye kiss." I shut my eyes at the word goodbye, "But you aren't going anywhere Riley. I'll be there when you wake up, and I'll be there for the rest of your goddamn life."

I nod because I can't get words out without sounding like a squeaky toy. I place my hand on top of the box. "This gift isn't only for you-"

"Riles, we gotta go."

I rise off the bench and take his hand in mine. Josh's eyes are red and I can't help but give him a hug. "I'll be okay guys. I promise."

But there are no promises.

There are no guarantees.

Not in this life.

This is Felix's Fight Night.

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loveorthelackthereof-you crack me up so I went ahead and posted it.

You are all so wonderful!