Happy New Year everyone! Sorry for the unexplained disappearance of the last few weeks. I'm still alive over here, but I have been busy with other things. So here are more Rules. More Reasons should follow soon.

Enough! Read the Rules! Do not break them! Remember to review!

The Enterprise was currently in orbit around Star Base 15, waiting for needed supplies and supplies they were to deliver to a colony on Harris V. The crew was taking advantage of the layover of sorts to enjoy a change of scenery. Not that there was much difference between the interior of the Enterprise and that of the Star Base.

"At least the food is slightly better," Billings argued.

The four friends were eating in one of the lounges on the Base, enjoying the change of atmosphere from there usual Rec. Room for lunch. Granted they had to pay for the food, but the fact that the food came from a kitchen rather than a replicator made up for it.

"So any idea when we have to leave?" Sorren asked.

"Dr. McCoy said Sickbay is all set," West said.

"Engineering is good," Billings said. "Mr. Scott had a second Christmas when he saw all those new parts for his engines."

"The Science department is triple checking the supplies," Sorren said. "Mr. Spock is very careful with making sure we have everything."

"Well, Navigation doesn't need anthing," O'Shea said. "So I'd say we'd be leaving this place pretty soon."

"Hey!" Sorren reached for his PADD as it buzzed across the table and over the edge. A passing officer caught it.

"Rule update for the crew of the Enterprise?" he read the message title.

"Uh…" the four Enterprise crew said.

701a. We don't care how much you suffered in your middle school and high school classes, next time we get stuck in the past you are not allowed to beam down and harass famous literary writers (we are still getting crap for that stunt someone pulled with Shakespeare).

701b. Or anyone who had an impact of Earth culture.

701c. It wasn't us! It was some British dude! Honest!

702a. *Whoever took Captain Kirk's comic book stash, please return it! For the love of God, man, we don't care that you took them, just give them back! We want our coffee!

702b. That's why nobody can get the repicators to give out coffee?

702c. YES!

702d. (content edited)! Hurry up and give them back! Dr. McCoy needs his coffee!

702e. SAME WITH THE REST OF US!

702f. Dude, the Captain is a closet comic book fan?

702g. …If anybody makes any closet jokes about that…

703. Do not take Captain Kirk's comic books. He is not afraid to hold the ship's coffee supply hostage until he gets them back.

704. You may not use the Communications station to try and find out what the heck those guys are singing about in that song "One Week", it's stuck in everyone's head.

705. Mr. Giotto is not "The Shadow" and Security personnel are not his "Agents".

706. Screaming "Okay, let's do this, LEEROOOYY, JEEEENKIINNNNNSSS!" while entering any kind of fight or battle is not appropriate. Especially if it's a surprise attack. Nobody on this ship is named Leroy Jenkins.

707. No, you are not allowed to name any of the plants in the botanical gardens "Audrey II".

708. No, we do not have a shuttlecraft called Serenity, and no, we will not rename one Serenity nor can we request to name the next shuttlecraft we get Serenity.

709. Please stop calling Lt. Galia "Elphaba". She doesn't find it funny.

710. *If a man with a brown pinstripe suit and cream converse is spotted, contact Lt. Hoyle.

711. *If a blue police box is found, contact Lt. Hoyle.

712a. Which one of you Engineering geniuses installed the blue police box on Deck 6? Captain Kirk wants it gone.

712b. Why do you always assume it's us? We didn't install anything on Deck 6. Plus, what are you talking about? There is no blue police box on Deck 6.

712c. Ignore 712a

713. Mr. Scott will not build you a "Transformer". As much as he wants to.

714a. Stop stealing Lt. M'Ress' milk.

714b. Stop stealing and replacing Lt. M'Ress' milk with chocolate milk.

715. *Mr. Spock will not grow a goatee for your amusement.

716a. *Parallel universes do not exist. Stop trying to find them.

716b. Do too!

716c. Do not!

716d. Do too!

716e. Do not!

716f. One, refer to Rule #77a. Two, the existence of parallel universes is unproven.

716g. Unproven? Dude, this ship alone has proven them a million times over.

716h. They are unproven. End of discussion.

717. Captain Kirk is not Achilles, and Mr. Spock is not Patroclus (and vice versa).

718. As much as the doctor approves of the whole thing (seriously, he does find it amusing), you have to take that holo-twitter feed down. People are now getting on his case for it.

719. You are not allowed to leave your shift just because your favorite holo-vision show is on.

720. Look, we understand that it is the Academy's big game and all, but someone has to be controlling the ship people!

The Base officer looked at the four members of the Enterprise crew. "Please tell me this is some kind of joke."

"Sort of…" Sorren said, and shut his mouth as West elbowed him in the ribs.

The officer frowned. "You mean to tell me that some of those stories about that ship." He pointed to the Enterprise that was orbiting outside. "Are true?"

The four looked at each other, and thought the same thing at that moment: "Uh-oh."

Rule #702 is from The Great Space Hobo, Rules #710-711 are from Mosstail-Jaywing, and #715-716a are from Darkwood Princess. Thank you!