"I had once believed in a precious inner self, but now I didn't. I had thought that I was fragile, but I wasn't."

-- Miranda July, "No One Belongs Here More Than You: Stories"

Where the hell is Clementine?

James slides the glass door open and Juliet darts her head around the edge of the chaise lounge. "Glad to see you're finally willin' to use chairs again," he said. "Told ya they ain't so bad." He walks out onto the deck and stands next to her. She's holding an apple in one hand and his cell phone in the other, but she manages to simultaneously roll her eyes and take a bite from the apple she's eating, looking rapturous. "Who you talkin' to on my phone?"

She arches an eyebrow. "Fuckhead."

He leans over to the phone in her hand. "Hey!!" he yells into it. "You stay away from my girl, ya hear me?!"

Though the phone's several inches away, they can both hear Miles screaming, "Up yours, LaFleur!" She grins and takes another bite of her apple.

"You know, I never seen anyone look so happy to be eatin' an apple."

"Try going six years without one. What's up? I have to get back to our polite and respectful friend, here."

"You seen Clementine?"

Juliet points. Just over the swell of the yard, where the land slopes down toward the edge of the property, he can see a flash of brown hair, the top of his wayward daughter's head.

"Well, what the hell's she doin' way down there?"

"I think she's hiding from me. Or painting her nails. Either one."

"Listen, the boy's still passed out on the couch. I'm gonna take her out for awhile."

Juliet nods and brings the phone back to her ear, sending him a silent Better you than me.

Clem is sprawled out on the grass with several bottles of nail polish lined up on the back side of one of those teen magazines her mother hates. "You didn't wait to paint your nails with me?" he whines, teasing, and she looks at him sourly. "Come on, kiddo, you wanna bust outta here for awhile?"

She nods.

"Ice cream?"

"Starbucks."

"What are you, 37 years old?"

Clementine wins, naturally, and after they've got their drinks, they sit outside in the courtyard. She fidgets with the dark green straw, poking at the ice cubes in her iced tea. "So what's goin' on?" he tries.

She shrugs.

"Well, I got somethin' to tell you, and then we can go from there."

She looks up at him, her eyes full of hurt. "They're staying, aren't they?"

He nods. "We're gonna make this work, kiddo. I know it's gonna be an adjustment, but --"

"It's not gonna be an adjustment, it sucks!" she bursts out. "I hate her."

"No, you don't."

She glares at him, sulking.

"You don't hate her. You hate that it's gonna be not just us anymore. I get that. I'm gonna miss that too, ladybug. It was always just me an' you against the world. And when you get mad at your mom and you come stormin' over to me, that's the highlight of my whole damn day."

"So how come you're doing this." She's balling up her fists at her sides, staring at the ground.

"Things change. Jules -- I've missed her. I've missed her a whole lot."

"Then how come you never talked about her before?"

He feels a lump in his throat. Oh shit. Not this, not now. "Hurt too much."

"What if you break up?"

"I dunno. I don't think that's gonna happen, though. I hope not."

"Mom and Rob got a divorce," she says softly, skimming the edges of her flip-flops back and forth along a crack in the pavement. "And you and mom broke up."

"Yeah. People don't always know what they're doin' in life. Even when they're grown up."

She fixes her eyes on him. "So how come you think you know what you're doing now?"

"Kiddo, I.... A lot of life is just guessin'. I wish I could tell you something better than that, but a whole lot of my life -- I've just been winging it, all right? But what I know is that you, she an' him are the best things that ever happened to me in my whole life. And I don't wanna let any of you go."

"Where's he gonna sleep? I'm not sharing my room forever."

"He's either gonna take the den, or you can have the den if you want. It's a little bigger, and you can have that TV in there if you want."

She shakes her head vehemently. "I want my room. I'm not changing."

"OK. That's fine. Whatever you want, it's your call."

"Can I redecorate?"

"Why? You just said you ain't movin' rooms."

"So maybe I just wanna redecorate," she hedges.

"We'll talk about that later. I ain't bribin' you out right, if that's what you're askin'."

"So what's wrong with her, anyway?"

"Juliet?"

"Yeah."

"She's upset about a bunch of stuff that happened where she was livin' before."

"She said it was ... um, political something?"

"That's ... Yeah. It got violent there, I guess. Bad things happened, really bad. She don't like to talk about it much."

"Is she gonna get better, at least?"

He's reminded of his daughter's endless compassion underneath that tough-as-nails exterior. Sort of like Juliet, actually. "Yeah. I think so. I hope so."

"What if she doesn't? What if she stays all sad and weird?"

"She ain't sad and weird all the time, is she?"

"No."

"We're gonna be a family, Clem. Family stays together when someone's havin' a hard time. That's what family does. You know that."

"No. Mom and Rob started to fight all the time and now he's gone. You're not getting married, are you?"

"Uh. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, all right? Not any time soon, I don't think."

She nods. "I liked being the only kid at your house. My sisters suck."

"First of all, don't say that. Your sisters don't suck, they're just little. Little kids need a lot of attention. And watch your language, will you?"

"'Sucks' isn't a curse word."

"It's enough to make your mom yell at me if she hears that come outta your mouth."

"You guys aren't going to have a baby or anything, are you?"

Oh for Christ's sake."Listen, some things are gonna change. That's the way life is, and you're old enough to get that by now." Time to turn on that million-dollar charm. "But you'll always my number one girl, sweetheart." Ah, James Ford. He can charm the ladies at any age, right?

Nope. She rolls her eyes. "That's crazy cheesy, Dad."

"Well, whaddya want from me? You're tougher than me an' your mom put together sometimes."

She swings her legs, grins. "Yep," she says airily.

James decides to consider that conversation a draw.

Dinner is a mostly quiet, tense affair. Only Jonah doesn't seem to get what's going on, but he's not a big talker anyway.

After the kids are asleep, James and Juliet sit out on the deck and end up drinking a little -- or OK, a lot -- too much. Tomorrow will be his last day off before he has to go back to work on Tuesday, and they have to celebrate somehow, right? And when they stumble up the stairs and into the bedroom, she practically slams him into the wall, her tongue halfway down his throat.

OK. This is good. This is very good. Last night had been tentative and careful, it was still amazing but she wasn't quite all there. And this morning, sure, that had been fun as hell, but it was quiet and rushed. Now she's three sheets to the wind and he'd almost feel bad for taking advantage of her, except he's three or four sheets to the wind himself, and anyway, something tells him they'd be exactly where they are now, anyway. Meaning pulling each other's clothes off as quickly as possible.

He has a feeling from the gaps in their conversations that she was probably with someone else during her time on the island, and he is surprised to realize doesn't mind, he's glad she wasn't alone. They'd both tried to fill up their time, find someone else, but he had to face it, no one was going to be a better fit. That doesn't mean he wants to hear all about some other guy, though, and he's not planning on broaching it unless she does first.

And why is he even thinking about this right now? He's half-naked, she's all naked, and there are much more important things to focus on. Like flipping on the stereo in the very near future, because he's guessing she's going to be a little bit too loud -- although considering what he's doing to her right now, he has to consider it a compliment.

------ FLASHBACK (1923) ------

"I'm bored," Juliet said.

"Considering where we are right now, I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that."

She stuck out her tongue and rolled over, stealing the sheet from him. "I didn't mean that. I mean -- I just wish I could go to a movie or something."

"You're just bored because you got used to going on Alice's little ambushes, and now you miss it."

She wrinkled her nose. "What's there to miss about it?"

"Let's not have this conversation."

"Aren't you bored? You can't travel," she pointed out.

"I'm keeping busy," he replied, and ripped the sheet from her grasp. She screeched and swatted him away as he planted a kiss on her stomach just below her navel. "Stop it, I have to go soon," she reminded him, wiggling away from his grasp.

"What, go and be bored by yourself?"

"I have to get Jonah from Elspeth. She's not as much of a sucker as Alice is. What are you doing today? You want to go to the beach?"

He shook his head. "I do, but I have some things to take care of."

"It's getting empty around here," she said quietly, watching the shadows of the trees waving on the tent floor.

He touched her wrist. "They'll be back. Don't worry." But fewer came back every time.

By late in the day, Juliet realized the camp had nearly entirely cleared out again. Nicholas was gone. She couldn't figure out where he was going, since he couldn't travel, but she'd never been big on asking questions. Alice had been gone for days planning a redo near the Black Rock.

She couldn't remember when the place had been so quiet.

Four days later, people finally started to trickle back in from wherever they'd been. She stitched up some cuts, dressed a few wounds and removed a bullet from Christopher's shoulder while Elspeth watched and worried. "You'll be fine as long as you take it easy," she told him.

"Thanks, Jules," he said, easing gingerly off the table in her cabin, keeping his opposite hand just below the bandage.

"Elspeth, I can keep little Chris overnight if you want," Juliet offered.

Elspeth glanced at her, her eyes full of unshed tears. "That would be great, Jules. Thanks."

"No problem," she replied, thanking whatever island deities were listening that at least she was able to help this time. She was still standing at the door of her cabin, watching them go, when she saw Richard staring at her from across the clearing. She folded her arms.

Richard pointed to his right, their sign that he wanted to talk to her in private. She shook her head and pointed into the cabin behind her. She had the kids in there, and Chris' father had just been shot; she couldn't find someone to look after them so she could go traipsing off to the jungle now. He stared at her impatiently and she shook her head again. Finally he walked away.

Hours later he was knocking on her door. She swung it open and glared at him. "I just got them to sleep."

"Can't you find someone to watch them?"

"Who do you suggest?"

"Can I come in, then?" He looked a bit rattled -- at least, as rattled as Richard could get, anyway.

"Fine," she finally said.

They sat in the dim light of a turned-down lantern, on the other side of the cabin from the bed where the boys were sleeping. "We've got a problem."

"Don't we always?"

"Juliet. Do you remember what I said to you the night we first met?"

"No idea. Do you still think I'm working for Ben?" she said sarcastically, arching an eyebrow.

"Latet anguis in herba." A snake lies in the grass. "And I'm afraid to tell you that I'm still right about that. Ben is working with someone in this camp. And if that's someone's not you, then we need to know who."

"It's not me," Juliet said expressionlessly.

"I know. I believe you now, you know. And that's why I'm talking to you now. Someone's been fighting with inside knowledge, though. Feeding things through, locations, times. Can you think of anyone who's been acting strangely lately? Or who's been gone, but not supposed to be in battle?" Richard looked into her eyes, his gaze knowing.

Nicholas. She did her best not to react openly, but her lungs felt too tight and she had to force herself to breathe evenly. This is not really happening. The room was too small, too dark all of a sudden, like the walls were threatening to close in on her. She traced the pattern of the floor with her eyes, the whirls of the rough wood, trying to imagine she was anywhere but here. She tried to remember Rachel's face. Couldn't. "Let me see what I can find out," she said.

She was on her way up to the creek carrying pails for water, when the familiar sound of cracking twigs echoed somewhere close. She turned around slowly.

Another Juliet was watching her. "Sorry," her other self said, wincing, glancing back over her shoulder. She fluttered a hand behind her as though warning someone else to stay back. "This is a little awkward, huh?"

Juliet stared at the other version of herself, who looked more amused than she felt right now. This other Juliet looked cheerfully dirty, her hair a few inches longer, a rifle hanging from its strap over her shoulder. They looked about the same age, which made her feel a little better. She didn't know how she would handle it if she ever saw herself old, still here on this island.

"I was here first," Juliet hedged.

Her other self smirked. "You got that right. Sorry, I'm thirsty. Gimme a second." She uncapped her canteen and dipped it into the creek.

Juliet folded her arms and watched.

"Do you have to stare at me like that?" her other self asked. "It's kinda creepy." She splashed some water onto her face, wiped away a thin layer of dirt.

"You're me, I'm you, I'll watch if I want. Glad that haircut is growing out."

"Yeah, it's taking forever."

"Huh. You know, we're wearing the same shoes. I mean -- the exact same shoes."

Her other self stood. "Trust me, this is just as weird for me as it is for you. Don't worry, I'm leaving now." She paused. "Hey, you don't have any bullets on you, do you?"

Juliet shook her head.

"That's OK. I didn't have any either, when I was standing where you are now."

"Um. Since you're here, can I ask you something?"

Her other self considered this for a long moment, and Juliet realized just how good her poker face really was. Finally her other self said, "No. Sorry," and her eyes were suddenly huge and sad. The other self took a breath in like she was about to say something else, then thought better of it and shook her head.

Juliet understood that this future version probably remembered exactly what she'd wanted to know. She'd been holding her breath while she'd waited, and now she exhaled slowly, disappointed. "Fine."

"Well, um..." Her other self laughed -- just one short, single note, anticipating what Juliet would say now.

Juliet nodded. "See you later, I guess."

She turned to leave the way she'd come, and then Juliet was alone again.

------ END FLASHBACK ------