Chapter 36

June 12, 1912

Rose felt as if she was being held prisoner inside her own room. It had been nearly two months since the disaster and she was in no better shape to be with Cal, or for that matter, her own mother. During this time, she had been wondering if Jack was alive, or was she stuck in a cruel dream; she had boarded the Titanic, only to realize there was no Jack Dawson, or even Jesse William. If they were true, they would have come and rescued her from the life she so badly wanted out of. She tried her best to stall the wedding plans with Cal for as long as possible, but eventually, that time will come for her eventual marriage. Cal's father had made sure that they were to be married as soon as possible, and that Rose must have a child to provide an heir to his father's company, even if it was a loveless marriage. For those two months she kept looking out the window, hoping, for the right moment, that Jack or even Jesse would come.

As soon the Titanic had gone down into the dark depths, it had also taken away their sweet maid Trudy, and they needed a new maid post haste. It was the job of Cal's new servant to look for one. It had been a tough two weeks at first, but they managed to find one. A young girl, maybe no younger than Rose, had been hired by Cal's new servant, where he had originally hailed from Vermont, and picked her as she worked at a dingy pub. For the first week or so, Rose and the new maid didn't seem to get along well, and she appeared to come from a better background. Eventually, as time passed, the new maid and Rose became the best of friends.

She tried her best to please her new masters, especially Ruth. She was no picnic herself; she would chew out and scold the new maid just even for the tiniest details that had been missed. Even once her mother or Cal would nearly lose their patience with this new maid, as she tried her best to juggle many things at once; from washing the dishes, properly dusting the furniture, to even setting the right temperature on the stove.

Just the silliest things. thought Rose. Sometimes she would hear her mother scold her out that the oven wasn't clean enough, or the food remains were still in the dishes. Rose had felt sorry for her new maid, and did her best to help out as much as she can. She also did this to prepare herself once she planned her escape from the crazy house she likes to call the Dewitt Bukater home.

She did her best to please Cal and her mother when the time came to look for wedding dresses she would have to be married in, all without being annoyed. She would also try her best to try to win her mother's trust again, even if it was momentarily. She knew it would be torturous and boring, but she knew it would bring about the freedom that would be gained afterward. A few weeks back she remembered her mother and Cal took her to a most expensive boutique she had been in. There were a dozen or so wedding dresses, all hanging from racks, some of the mannequins even wore some of the dresses. She tried to imagine what Jack would buy her for wedding dresses. He'd like something that would be extravagant…

No. Jack wouldn't want to go through all the trouble just for a simple wedding dress. Besides, it will be worn one time, and stored away in storage for a long time, and hopefully, be passed down to our future children. She thought, then heard Jack's words echo in her head, as if he was just nearby.

You're going to make lots of babies…and you're going to watch them grow… as he shivered in that cold open North Atlantic.

You're going to die, an old woman, warm in her bed… she felt a tear roll down her cheek. She quickly wiped it. Her mother saw her shed a tear, as she had thought her daughter was proud of this moment. Rose was thinking about her flashbacks Jack had given to her the night of the sinking.

I'll never let go…

You jump, I jump…

"I'll never let go." she whispered, quiet enough no one will hopefully hear. She had made that her vow to Jack, whether he was alive or passed on, she made him a promise that would be needed to be fulfilled; to never quit and live life to its fullest, even if she was chained to Cal.

One evening while Rose sat at her bed, mending her red curls when the maid entered her room, after acknowledging. She brought in her clothes from the day's wash, only to accidently spill them on the floor. She looked up, but Rose gave her a gentle smile.

"I don't really like these dresses that much." she says gently, then slowly gathers them before putting them on the bed. The maid had tears in her eyes, as Rose came back to help the girl back to her feet.

"Tell me, what it was like to be on the grandest ship." The maid says, after sitting down on the bed. Rose didn't want to tell her the experiences of being in first-class. The stuffy atmosphere, mindless chatter, and people didn't seem to know what having fun was. Then she came to meeting Jack at the stern, after she was tired of the first-class. They got to know each other as time progressed, despite being only at sea for nearly two days. Soon, they took that a step further, by making love in the back seat of a car. With that, she also described being with another wonderful man back on the R.M.S. Mauretania, someone she had never seen before. The maid leaned closer, wanting all she can to learn of this man. Rose told her the man's name was Jesse, he had hair that looked soft as silk, that hung in his eyes, and he had intense but kind eyes. She also described, to her best knowledge, how tall the man was, what he looked like, and how he was different from the people he was surrounded in. But now, he was lost amongst the souls who also perished with the Titanic, while she knew Jack was somewhere, alive, and possibly looking for her, after she rescued him from the freezing Atlantic.

"You would've fallen for him, like I did if you seen him." Rose sniffed. The maid handed her a handkerchief, then gave her a consoling embrace.

"I'm sure he's looking down, and he's happy for all of you. Especially for your baby." The maid points to her slight bulge. Rose blushed slightly, but she gently rubbed her baby bulge.

For the last two weeks or so, Rose has been silently making her way downstairs to learn all she can from the new maid. She had learned enough to cook, clean, and to even mend her own clothes. Today she was learning how to prepare and cook a simple stew while the maid just watched her, sort of like a coach. She was hopeful one day she would be preparing meals for her man, even if he wasn't around to enjoy. With Rose under constant watch by her mother, Cal and his servant, she can't leave the house; even the gardener keeps a watchful eye, even for something small, and if she dared to escape, he would notify Cal in a hurry. So Rose has been doing something she had despised; pleasing everyone around her, but her maid knew better.

After her cooking lesson Rose began going through what's left of her belongings in her room to see what she can get some money from, in case the time came for her escape. She pokes around in her jewelry box, which contained jewels and diamonds. She knew these were worth something and that it would allow her to save some of the money for herself in return. The paintings Cal had bought her prior to Titanic could be sold to museums, and would also indicate to her mother she has moved on and become the daughter her mother would expect. She looks in her closet and dresser, hoping anything in there would be of considerate value. Her clothes and shoes would either be sold off or given to charity, for those less fortunate than her. She needed to carry less and what is practical as well. The plan, now, was to have a cover.

She snapped her fingers. Of course! She would think she has gone on to her honeymoon with the monster that almost killed her man and his friend. That would be her cover, for now, until the wedding. She tried her best to shudder, but manages a little shake. She remembered Jesse's shudder, and made a little chuckle about it. If Jack did came to rescue her, she had also hoped he would bring Jesse as well, and she missed both of them dearly, especially Jesse. Rose also knew she must spend a few more months with this mongrel, just until the wedding day, then she would leave Cal hanging at the altar, and the humiliation that would ensue from the Philadelphia society. That would give him the ultimate payback he deserved for what he has done as well.

She looks at herself in the mirror as she has done many times since the sinking. Instead of the horrible creature she was, in front of her was a much livelier person, full of hope even though she had been held a prisoner of sorts. Rose let her curls fall over her shoulder, then grabs a handful of red curls as she brushed back, then holding it behind her, making a little ponytail. Rose then looked back at the mirror, as she would soon become the Rose Jack intended her to be, a woman who is free and passionate, and isn't afraid to overcome her obstacles. Someone who enjoyed her freedom, independence, but mostly to spread her wings and fly from it all. Jack may not be with her physically, but more with her in spirit, and the decisions she would make will come from Jack, including his influence on her.

Tonight she decided to head out on the town with her maid and a couple other girls she despised at the finishing school she went to. She only carried small amounts of jewelry so she can get them exchanged for money, then puts it away before going back to her little group. They laugh amiably at one another as they told off hand jokes about their society. Rose only feigned interest, even faking a laugh at time, hoping just even a slight hope, that Jack would show up. She was anxious and tingly as she walked around the town with her little girl group, hoping to get her chance to run away, but then she thought about her maid. She didn't want to leave her behind, as she is invaluable and had helped her prepare for the life she would be entering soon. It was getting dark, and the girls decided to head back to their neighborhoods again. As they were walking near a tavern, Rose got a glimpse of someone, looking out the window, as if seeing them from a distance. She got a second look.

The hair, the face. She knew the person that was looking at them looked familiar. She suddenly felt a ray of hope; it could only be one person. She knew then.

Jesse had survived the Titanic.

But what about Jack?