Disclaimer: See chapter one.
Wow, amazing number of responses to the last chapter! Thank you all so, so much and an extra special thank you to NothingElseCompares for being such an enthusiastic convert! ;) Welcome aboard the AO train :D
Since I'm having a frustrating day at work, I thought I'd reward you all (hmm dubious reward perhaps!) with another new chapter! Some of us might as well get something out of the day! Lol. Tis a chapter of two halves, the first being a flashback, the second being the present day part of the story. Onwards...
Wednesday January 28th 2009
06.15
Olivia Benson's apartment, East 34th Street
Liv slipped into her bed, moaning decadently as her tired muscles appreciated the softness and warmth enveloping them.
"I thought only I could make you moan like that! I'm actually jealous of the bed now," Sam quipped, rolling towards her lover who was only just getting home from an exceptionally long shift at work.
"Morning gorgeous, no need to be jealous, I still prefer it when you make me moan," Liv assured, accepting the soft kiss from the young blonde.
"Oh really?" Sam queried saucily, slipping a hand beneath the old NYPD t-shirt Liv had worn to bed and cupping one breast in her palm.
"Definitely," Olivia confirmed, with another moan, this time definitely caused by her lover's ministrations. The brunette pulled Sam closer, hand resting against the back of the young woman's neck as she guided her face to her lips once more. As Sam settled herself almost completely on top of Olivia, the pair spent long moments reacquainting themselves with one another, having had scant few opportunities since their encounter in the closet at the school thanks to a heavy caseload for Liv. "God I've missed this. I've missed you. Crashing in the crib…it's just not enough anymore. I need more than a couple of hours sleep… I need you, in my arms otherwise whatever sleep I do get just isn't restful. Does that make sense?"
"It does sweetheart. It very much does because I feel the same but I know you don't stay away because you want to. Your job is important to you and by extension, it's important to me too because without it, you wouldn't be the woman I have fallen so very deeply in love with." Sam trailed her lips sensuously across Olivia's strong jaw, breath tickling her ear as she whispered, "and spending a little time apart makes it all the more exciting when I do get you in bed with me." As she finished her statement, Sam allowed her hand to wander down the detective's rippling torso, delighting in the fluttering muscles beneath her touch.
"Sami…" Liv whimpered as deft fingers teased her mound, darting all too fleetingly over the areas most in need of attention.
"Ssshh baby, just relax and let me take care of you so you can get some proper, restful sleep." With no further thought of foreplay, two long, powerful digits plunged into the brunette's hot, tight core, causing her hips to buck and a throaty cry to be torn from her. She struggled to keep up with the frantic pace her lover had set, writhing and thrashing beneath her as her orgasm began to build from deep inside her body. Muscles clenched and tensed, spasming in sporadic fashion, no rhythm to their movement keeping Liv offguard. Seeing her usually composed and controlled lover in the throes of such wanton abandon and lust merely spurred Sam on in her ministrations, loving being the one to undo Olivia Benson. She leant down, fastening her lips over a ripe, plump nipple as she slid a third finger into Liv's sodden core. As the brunette began to crest, the moment was interrupted by the clanging of Samia's alarm, signalling it was time for her to begin her work day. With a feral growl, the blonde slapped the offending intruder with her free hand before returning to her previous task with renewed vigour, knowing that time was of the essence. She resumed her frenetic pumping in and out, in and out, curling her fingers just so to graze her lover's most sensitive inner flesh. Her head bowed back to Liv's heaving chest, once again suckling on her breast, smiling as she felt hands tangle in her hair, tightly holding her in place as the brunette sought to anchor herself to something tangible. Tiny whimpers and moans escaped unbidden from the older woman's lips, further vocalisations impossible as she fought to draw in enough breath simply to remain conscious. Liv's juices ran down Sam's fingers and collected in her cupped palm, a heady illustration of how responsive the detective's body was to the attention being given to it.
"Oooohhhhhhhhhh…" Liv ground out on a low guttural moan as she felt Sam's thumb flatten against her clit, triggering an explosion of sensations to rip through her entire body. Only the weight of her partner atop her prevented her from folding in two as strong contractions gripped her abdominal muscles over and over again, her washboard stomach undulating in time with them. She panted desperately, sucking life giving oxygen into her lungs in great gulps as she rode out the mind-blowing climax. Sam continued to languidly thrust her fingers into Liv's body, coaxing out every last tremor from the strong internal muscles holding her in a vice-like grip. Finally, Liv's body gave out, collapsing bonelessly against the bed, eyes closed as her head reeled from the onslaught of sensations. Slinging one leg carelessly over a toned, naked thigh, Sam pressed her own overheated core into the limb, rocking back and forth frantically, knowing it wouldn't take much for her own climax to sweep through her. Liv made to move, as though wanting to be more of an active participant in Sam's enjoyment but found herself unable to co-ordinate her limbs. "What do you do to me?" she asked breathlessly.
"Nothing that you don't deserve, honey. You are so beautiful, so damn beautiful and sexy, I can't help but want you every time I see you. And to see you, like that, so open, so giving, so in the moment… God Liv, I could cum just watching you." As she spoke, Sam felt her muscles quivering with the first waves of her own orgasm. She gently extracted her hand from between Liv's legs, bringing it to her mouth and cleansing it of every last drop of her fiancée's essence, moaning decadently as she did so and allowing it to increase her arousal even further. She fell forwards, capturing kiss-swollen lips with her own, allowing Liv to taste herself in the kiss. The brunette's hands finally found their way to Sam's buttocks, cupping them, squeezing them and caressing them as she urged her ever onwards towards her own peak. Liv's focus on her lover distracted her from the path Sam's hand was once again taking. Her eyes widened in surprise as a thumb and forefinger closed around her distended clit, milking it and triggering another orgasm within her as she watched Sam's sweep through her. The clung to one another, lost in a haze of desire, their sweat-slickened bodies gliding together as they tumbled over the precipice together. They lay for long moments, neither willing nor able to move much more than was absolutely necessary. All too soon though, Liv felt Sam roll off her, preparing to gather her sense in readiness for the work day ahead.
"I wish you could stay…" Liv murmured sleepily, eyes fighting to re-open every time she was forced to blink.
"I wish I could too but somebody has to mould the minds of the young folk," Sam agreed with a sigh.
"I've been thinking about booking some time off, I've got a lot of leave owing to me. How would you feel about doing something together around spring break time? We could maybe go away somewhere if you're interested?" Liv suggested through a yawn, rolling over onto her side so she could watch Sam wandering around the bedroom more easily.
"I'd love that but you know we could always just stay at home and spend some time together, we don't have to go anywhere. I know places get really booked up and expensive at that time of year…" Sam cautioned, not wanting the brunette to get her hopes up only to have them dashed.
"Perhaps I already have a plan in mind," Liv retorted cryptically, pulling Sam's pillow to her and cuddling up against it, breathing in her girlfriend's perfume. Her eyes fluttered shut and a contented smile lazily settled on her lips as sleep threatened to steal her away.
Sam turned back to face the bed, wondering what Liv was considering but refrained from asking further questions when she saw how comfortable and cosy she looked. Knowing how desperately the woman needed sleep, Sam schooled herself to save the questions for later, opting instead to tuck the blanket up around her lover's shoulders to stave off the early morning chill. "Sweet dreams, Liv," she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against her temple before tiptoeing out of the room to continue getting ready for work.
Wednesday January 28th 2009
14.46
Alex Cabot's Office, 1 Hogan Place
"…and I think that covers everything I need for tomorrow. Are you ok with your testimony? Anything you want to run through again?" Alex asked setting her elegant pen down on her jotter beside her legal pad.
"No, I'm good to go, thanks Alex." Liv too sat back in her chair, grateful for the thorough preparation her friend was always willing to offer prior to any of the squad taking the stand. Whilst they were confident that they had gathered sufficient evidence to result in a guilty verdict in this case, the time Alex spent going over the details helped to settle Olivia, mentally, for explaining that evidence to twelve jurors. She knew she would be able to stride into court confidently and deliver her testimony with practiced ease, no matter what tricks the defence counsel attempted.
"Ok then, well I think I can let you get back to the precinct then and I'll wade my way through my opening statement a few more times," Alex supplied with a brief smile, professional demeanour firmly in place as was so often the case even when it was just the two of them in her office.
"Before I go, there's something I wanted to ask you. And before I do, I want you to know that you can say no. I won't… act like a jerk and hold it against you or anything…" Liv babbled nervously, wringing her hands in her lap.
"Liv, spit it out, whatever it is you want to ask me. You're making me nervous," Alex requested, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the edge of her desk, hands clasped tightly together, her face a mask of concern.
"You know…that place you have in the Hamptons…" Liv began tentatively.
"The beach house, in Bridgehampton?" Alex queried starting to relax just slightly.
Liv nodded before continuing, "I was wondering if it would be possible for me to take Sam up there for Spring Break this year? Like I said, no problem if you already have plans to be there that week or someone else is or you'd rather I didn't but…"
"Honey, relax," Alex advised warmly, a gentle smile of understanding settling over her patrician features. "Of course you can have the house for a week or two. I've told you, any time you want to get away, it's there and available for you to use. I think it would be great for you and Sam to take a break together and I'm sure you will love it."
"We'd pay you for the use of it, I don't expect you to let us stay there for free," Liv insisted, levelling a determined gaze on her friend.
"There's no mortgage to pay on it, no real overheads of any kind. It won't cost anything to open it up besides a phone call to my parents' housekeeper so really, there's no need pay anything towards it," Alex stated, holding a hand up to forestall any objections from the stubborn detective. "However, if you insist on contributing anything, why don't we agree that you and Sam pay for whatever fuel you use while you're there? There are two gas fires – one in the lounge, one in the master bedroom - and a heated saltwater pool which you're free to use, just let me know if you think you will beforehand so I can get it turned on before you get there, otherwise you'll freeze in it, trust me. Other than that, all the costs will be your own anyway – food, travel etcetera. It's a beautiful place, amazing views of Sam's creek from most rooms, especially the master bedroom," Alex raved, recalling the spectacular sunsets she had witnessed over the creek from the tub in the master bathroom, which was situated right up against the one way glass of the floor to ceiling, panoramic windows, on her many stays at the house. "I can't think of a better place to take the woman you love," she added wistfully, thinking of the many times she herself had dreamed of taking Liv there.
"Are you sure that's all you want? I mean, I'd have to pay a lot more than that if I booked a house, which was my other option if you were against us using your place." Liv still worried that to not pay at least some form of rent would be taking advantage of her friend's generosity.
"Absolutely. Seeing you happy and facilitating you and Sam spending some quality time together, just the two of you, no distractions, is all the recompense I need. Besides, it does the house good to get an airing and to be used more often so consider yourselves doing me a favour. That way, when I visit at Easter, all being well with work, it won't smell so musty and unused as it would if it had been shut up all winter." Alex smiled warmly at her companion, reading the genuine gratitude in her expression.
"You're a great friend, Alex. Thank you, so much, it means the world to me," Liv beamed, gratitude oozing from her as her mind worked overtime for how she might make it up to the younger woman. "It'd just be the week, Saturday to the following Sunday if that's ok?" Liv received an affirmative nod from the attorney before continuing with a suggestion she had been mulling over throughout their discussion. "Maybe, the weekend before we head home, you could join us? When was the last time you took any time away for yourself? We could get some movies in, order takeout, play some cards, swim and just have a lazy girl's day in on the Saturday before driving home on the Sunday."
"That's sweet of you to offer, Liv, but really I wouldn't want to intrude on yours and Sam's time," Alex protested, appreciating the gesture but not sure she'd be happy playing spare part to the loved up couple when her own love life was currently so barren.
"I'm sure by then Sam would be grateful of some company other than mine. Don't rule it out too quickly ok? Just, you know, have a think about it and if you can get away and want to, we'd love for you to spend some time with us." Liv hauled herself from the comfortable leather seat in front of Alex's desk, rounding it and leaning down to give her close friend a warm hug before making her escape. "I'd better get back or Dad'll be sending out a search party. I'll firm up arrangements with you once I've spoken to him about getting the time off, if that's ok?"
"Of course it is and I think we both know that he will approve your vacation time since you never ask to take any more than a few hours off, a day at most, usually. You must have month's of time stacked up owing to you." Alex picked up her pen and flipped over a few pages of her legal pad until she found the opening argument she was looking for, a self-deprecating grin on her face.
"Hello Pot, this is Kettle calling, I do believe you might be black!" Liv quipped in reference to Alex's own failure to take leave unless forced into doing so. "Think about that weekend, Alex, please," the brunette requested pleadingly before turning on her heel and exiting the office.
Wednesday February 25th 2009
07.28
Franco's diner
"George, thanks for meeting up with me so early," Liv greeted her breakfast companion as Huang slipped into the booth opposite the detective.
"It's fine, Liv. Any much later and I wouldn't have been able to come anyway – I'm here to attend a seminar on the latest theories linking activity in the hippocampus to criminal behaviour," George replied as he settled himself into the booth, glad to see Olivia looking more like herself than she had been the last time he laid eyes on her. "How are you doing? I hear you're back at work."
"Yeah, it's… it's early days," Liv admitted, fiddling with the paper napkin on the vinyl-topped table between them.
"It is and no one would expect you to walk back in as though nothing had happened. How do you feel you're handling being back there?" George gently pried, trying to get the brunette to open up to him since she had requested the meeting and so obviously had something on her mind.
"If I'm honest, I feel like… like I'm an outsider, like I don't really belong there at the minute. I'm hoping that's just because I'm stuck behind a desk, doing basic work, and that once I get back to it fully, once I'm back in the field, I'll find it easier to connect again," the woman confessed, head bowed, shoulders hunched in defeat.
"Give yourself time, Liv. It's only been a few weeks, you're still going to be coming to terms with what happened. You might find that your work helps, once you get back into the heart of it, or you might decide that it is time for a change, a fresh start, as your emotions settle and your wounds – both physical and psychological – heal." Further conversation was stalled as their server approached to take their order, George raising an eyebrow and levelling a concerned gaze on his breakfast companion when she requested only a black coffee, declining any food. "There's more to this, isn't there? You're not just worried about whether you'll want to carry on working at SVU, are you?"
Liv shook her head, glancing up at the kindly FBI psychologist, taking a deep breath and steeling herself to lay bare her soul. "Alex… Alex raised some concerns she had when I told her I intend to move back to my apartment this weekend."
George nodded, remaining silent after their drinks had been delivered in the expectation that Liv would continue. When she didn't after a few minutes, he coaxed, "she's worried about you, about how you'll cope. Did you and Sam share the apartment, Olivia?" The brunette nodded silently, mind a whirl as she struggled to pick the words she needed to express herself, her own fears. "So you'll be moving back to a place where Sam should be but isn't any longer. How do you see yourself managing that?" George asked gently, knowing he would find it unbearably painful to have to return to a home he had shared with a partner lost in such tragic circumstances.
"I don't know," Olivia whispered brokenly. "I feel like I have to do it, like I need to confront the fact that she'll never be there again but… Alex has been having nightmares about me… that I'll kill myself or be killed in my apartment."
"And you need help to convince her you'll be ok? That you'll cope?" the profiler prompted.
"I need help to convince myself she's not right to be scared. How can I expect her to believe I won't do that if I'm not sure I won't?" Liv finally raised her head, her haunted eyes meeting those of Huang. "I do have days when I don't believe I'm strong enough to get through this, to live without her."
Again, George nodded sagely, picking his words wisely to help the stoic detective as best he could. "Liv, have you had suicidal thoughts?" Olivia's head bobbed up and down in solemn confirmation, her eyes clouded with grief and the pain of her loss. "And on those days, when you feel like that, what do you do? What do you do to stop yourself from acting on those thoughts?"
"I remember what I promised Sam, what she made me promise her in that diner, that I'd live my life to the full in honour of her," Liv stated, snatching furiously at the tear which leaked from her eye and trickled over her smooth cheek, the shrapnel cuts from the blast finally having healed almost completely. "But what if it's not enough? What if… what if I'm not the person everyone expects me to be and I can't do it?"
"Close your eyes for me." The doctor waited for her to comply, ignoring her sceptical glance, before he continued, "now imagine yourself in your apartment, late at night, alone. Imagine yourself surrounded by memories and reminders of Sam, of the life you shared with her, doing things you used to share with her, things you took for granted you'd always do together. Imagine lying alone in the bed you shared with her, trying to sleep knowing she wasn't joining you there." He paused again, letting the picture build in her mind, letting her engage emotionally with the scene he had set. Quietly, almost intimately, he requested, "tell me how you're feeling, Olivia."
There was a muffled gasp from across the table, a strangled sob choked down in deference to the public nature of their location. "Oh God! I…it hurts, so much." Her voice betrayed the raw agony placing herself in such a situation would induce, making it redundant for George to hear further words.
"Can you stay with Alex a while longer? If not there, is there somewhere else you can stay? Someone else you can stay with? Clinically, I don't believe you're ready to go back home yet without setting yourself up to fail. By pushing yourself to go back to your apartment, by immersing yourself so entirely in Sam's memories, you risk either completely shutting down emotionally and never moving on from this or aggravating psychological wounds so gravely that you act on your instincts to end the pain, for good. Neither is a healthy option and once done, cannot be undone. My advice, and I'm assuming that you want it since you arranged this meeting, is that you spend some time at the apartment, build up to being back there full-time gradually. Go back for an hour or two at a time, take Alex over there to watch a movie or just go back there to do laundry. Then start to spend a little longer there, do a little more of the things you did when Sam was there but also the things you did alone before Sam lived with you. You can't turn back the clock and remove her from the home you shared, nor would it be healthy for you to want to, but you can learn to tolerate the environment without it being so painfully raw. Think of it like learning to swim; you wouldn't go to the ocean and dive straight in and expect to swim without ever having learned how to, would you? Teach yourself where the hidden dangers are, what are the things which will threaten to pull you under if you don't have the right tools to keep you afloat." George kept his eyes on Olivia the entire time he spoke, making sure she was listening and not lost in the painful scenario he had invoked. "I'm really sorry, I've got to get going but call me, anytime. We can do this again, off the record, just between us, any time you need to talk, ok?"
Liv took a moment to compose herself, reigning in the emotions which had bubbled to the surface before nodding and rising from the booth to escort George out of the diner. "Thanks George, I really do appreciate your advice and I promise, I will listen to it. I'll talk to Alex this evening."
Wednesday February 25th 2009
07.57
Alex Cabot's Office, 1 Hogan Place
Alex fired up her computer, letting it warm up as she set about getting her coffee pot started, knowing it would take a while to get even as far as the log in screen. She pottered around her office while she waited, busying herself with mundane, menial tasks such as watering her potted peace lily which resided on top of a book shelf by the blind-covered window and retrieving the notes she had jotted during her sleepless night from her attaché case. Finally, she slumped into her high backed, leather chair and tapped her details into the computer once it was ready for her, leaning back as she waited for the old machine to load up her profile from the internal servers used by the DA's office. A creature of habit, Alex normally welcomed this time as a chance to completely embrace her work persona for the day ahead but exhaustion made her impatient with the archaic servers and antique machinery and she tapped her pencil aggressively against the jotter covering her mahogany desk, just wanting to get the day over with so she could go home and shut the world out once again. At the same time though, the thought of returning to her apartment, of facing Liv after their intense discussion that morning, filled her with a sense of trepidation. Whilst Olivia had kept hold of her following her confession, Alex had not been blind to the fact that no assurances were offered that her fears were in vain. The brunette had simply sighed, pulling Alex in closer and refusing to let her go for long moments before retreating to the guest room under the guise of getting ready for a breakfast meeting before work. The attorney became aware that her computer now sat idly, awaiting her commands, finally having finished its whirring and flashing of lights as it ground into life. She pulled up her emails, scanning through the list of new messages, discarding a few junk emails offering training which had slipped through the firm's filters. An email from Abbie caught her eye, its title cryptic enough to make the blonde intrigued. She paused, warring between opening it immediately or getting a much needed mug of coffee first. The coffee won but only delayed her curiosity by a matter of minutes. Settling back into her chair, the ADA opened the message, eyes scanning over the words from the Texan.
Alex
I thought about calling you but realised I only have your office number and I know my day is about to explode – ok, bad choice of words there but you know what I mean, I won't have time to talk to you during office hours. Anyway, how are you? Did you manage to sleep at all last night? I didn't enjoy leaving you and I wish I wasn't so far away but hopefully I'll be back in New York before too long, when Morientes and Sykes pull their finger out and give us something we can prosecute. I've asked them to keep you up to speed with any developments since you're there and more likely to be contactable than I am. They said they have your contact number from when Liv was in hospital. Speaking of, did you talk to Olivia this morning? I've gotta go, I'm being summoned but call me ok? My number's in my signature at the bottom of this email but I'll give you my personal cell as well. I have both switched on all the time so use them, I don't care which and I don't care when – ok I do care if it's three a.m., some of us need our eight hours sleep a night to function!
Please take care of yourself and remember what I said last night, if you weren't too far gone into your exhaustion-induced insanity to have a clue what was going on. And if you haven't already, talk to Olivia. I don't want to have to fly back there just to knock some sense into the pair of you. You're great friends, don't screw it up, ok?
Call me. I mean it. Gotta run.
Abbie x
A knock on her office door had Alex hurriedly clicking out of the email and erasing any kind of emotion, she hoped, from her face. Bidding her visitor entrance, she looked up as Judge Donnelly's head appeared around the doorjamb.
"Alexandra, what on earth are you doing here so early? Are they working you that hard?"
"Morning Liz. No, nothing like that." Alex shrugged with feigned nonchalance. "I was awake early and so I thought I'd come and get a head start on my opening argument for next week's case."
"Who's your judge on that?" Liz asked, slipping into the nearest available seat, hands automatically moving to clasp primly in her lap.
"That would be you," Alex replied evenly, wondering what had prompted this visit from her God-mother and whether it was purely professional or if there was an alternative agenda at work.
"Then I wouldn't bother trying too hard to impress me. I know you always arrive in my courtroom impeccably prepared, even on those cases where you're trying to pull a fast one. So what's the real reason you're here at this hour? And why do you look like you haven't slept in a week or more? Don't even think about lying to me, I've known you too long for you to get away with it." The feisty judge pinned Alex with an unerring stare, demanding a reasonable response.
"Are you asking in a professional manner, Judge Donnelly?" Alex snapped, maintaining the older woman's gaze with an equally determined one of her own.
Liz softened her tone, realising that the young woman was in no mood to be dictated to. "Partially. Arthur spoke to me recently, voicing some concerns – not about your standard of work before you go getting apoplectic but about the toll recent events have taken on you. Be honest with me, Alexandra, are you coping with juggling your own workload and being co-Counsel on the Camanetti case? People care about you, none of us want to see you slip under due to avoidable stress."
The ADA relented, shoulders slumping in defeat. "I'm ok, just a little tired. Things have been…emotional recently, with Liv…she's needed a great deal of support and I don't begrudge giving it to her, being there for her, not for a single moment…"
"But…" Liz prompted gently, leaning forward and propping her forearms on the desk, hands still clasped together.
"But nothing," Alex stated before withering under the icy glare sent her way. "Liv is set on going home, back to her apartment, this weekend…and I'm… I'm scared." If Liz was surprised by the admission, she schooled her features well not to show it.
"What about that scares you?" the older blonde queried, wondering how open Alex was prepared to be.
"That she's not ready, that she's pushing herself too far too fast. That I'll be alone…again," the ADA murmured, head bowed, fingers idly pushing her pen around the jotter.
"Olivia Benson is a sensible woman and normally I'd say that she wouldn't do anything she wasn't capable of doing. However, in the circumstances, to be a good friend to her, you might have to be willing to be unpopular with her and force her to realise what you can see, even if she doesn't want to admit it herself. You're a rational person, Alex. Something must have triggered those fears in you and perhaps Olivia needs to be made aware of that to prevent her from doing what you suspect she might. As for being alone, Alex, maybe it's time for you to stop wasting your time with idle dalliances you think would please your family and try to find someone you actually want to share your life with, regardless of how that will look in the society pages," Liz offered with a raised eyebrow, daring her Goddaughter to deny her behaviour.
"Who I want to share my life with isn't open for discussion, nor is it any of your business," Alex barked, picking up her pen and attempting to focus on deciphering her scrawled notes from the early hours of the morning.
"As your Godmother, I'd say it was very much part of my duty to be concerned with whether you are making wise decisions which affect your future happiness, wouldn't you?" Liz retorted calmly.
"I'm not five years old anymore…" Alex began only to be interrupted before she could get into the flow of her rant.
"No you're not. You're a fully grown, attractive, single, 35 year old woman who has a lot to offer in a relationship… if only you were brave enough to let yourself pursue the type of relationship you'd be happy in, rather than hiding behind what society and your family expects of a Cabot," Liz goaded.
"And what type of relationship is it that you, in all your worldly wisdom, think I would be happy in? Please, enlighten me," the younger blonde invited, ice dripping from every syllable.
"You know very well what type of relationship I mean. The type that doesn't involve a sycophantic man – or man of any kind for that matter – who is only interested in what you can do for his bank balance or his societal status. The only time I have seen you approaching anything like the confidence you should have in a relationship is when you had that brief dalliance with that young lady you spent so much time with in your sophomore year at college." The judge watched the younger woman's skin drain of the small amount of colour it had.
"You know about her?" Alex whispered, eyes wide and her poise frozen in place.
"I'm not blind Alexandra, nor was your mother. The two of you were inseparable for months and then all of a sudden, you don't spend any time with her and never speak of her again. What did you expect us to believe? Don't be so naive," Liz scoffed with a dismissive wave of her hand.
"Mother? She never… no one said anything… to me," Alex stuttered, shocked by what she was hearing, having thought she had been discrete enough not to raise suspicions amongst her family.
"Of course not. We both know that your Mother never was very good at talking to you about affairs of the heart. My own personal opinion is that that is why you ended up with the nickname you did when you first arrived at this office. You were ruthlessly and coldly ambitious because of the expectations and obligations drilled in to you all your life." Liz held up one hand to forestall any interruptions. "I know she loved you dearly and I know you never wanted for anything in a material sense but for many years, there has been a barrier between you and most other people. When your mother realised that you had inclinations towards relationships of a more…feminine nature, she deliberately took it upon herself to ensure you would shun any happiness you might find in that type of union in favour of familial and career expectations and aspirations. I know this because she told me one evening when we had an almighty row about letting you live your life. She couldn't – wouldn't – condone your attraction to other women. But she isn't here any longer and you only have one shot at life. You've already lost so much in your life because of other people's actions, don't lose your chance to know love as well."
"You make it sound easy…" Alex intoned, eyes downcast as she idly fiddled with the corner of her jotter.
"It should be, for you. Alex, any woman would be lucky to have you love her and to love you in return. Take a chance, let a few more people in past your walls, you never know, you might find the best thing that's ever happened to you."
"What if I already have found her? What if I know who it is that I want to build a life with but she isn't available? What if I've already missed my chance and there's nothing ahead except for microwave meals for one and long lonely nights in front of the television?" The blonde's mind was consumed by conflicting thoughts of two brunettes; one tall and willowy, the other athletic with hypnotic chocolate eyes.
"It's never too late, Alexandra, not unless one of you is dead," Liz stated with an air of finality, signalling the end of their conversation. She rose from her seat, reaching over the desk and gently patting her Goddaughter's hand. "Get some sleep before I see you in my court next week or else I'll hold you in contempt."