Dean was in pain. It had nothing to do with a physical pain, and everything to do with the fact he knew this was wrong and yet was forced to keep up the charade.

They had been kidnapped by angels. Or one angel from what he could tell. And then forced into lives that didn't suit them at all.

Sam had become some tech geek and Dean was an accountant. An accountant. It was worse than hell, and he hated every minute of it.

However in the midst of his own personal torture and being forced into someone else's white collar hell of a life, something happened.

Dean was able to think almost as clearly as he had before hell. Before Helen had come into his life. Sam was the same way, and while he was merely playing along trying to figure out what was really going on, the two decided to just go through the motions while they figured out what to do with their life.

And then a ghost showed up. It was all far too convenient.

Fortunately it gave Dean the excuse he needed to drag Sam back into hunting, and the two were able to hide in Dean's private office to look up how to 'deal' with a ghost, despite never forgetting in the first place.

Dean looked at his brother. Sam looked at him and realized that Dean hadn't forgotten who he was either.

"Dean?"

"Don't be a bitch."

"Jerk," said Sam in open relief. "What's going on here?"

"Angels. Or one of them at least. All I know is that they're trying to mess with us and I don't like it. At least when Helen does it, you know she would only go for physical pain. This is worse than hell," said Dean.

Sam blinked.

"What did you just say?"

"I said this is worse than hell."

"Before that. You actually called her by name."

Dean blinked.

"What?"

"Dean, you never call Helen by name. Ever."

"Speaking of Helen, we need to work out how we're going to deal with this."

Sam tried to deny it, but Dean cut him off.

"Look we both know you have a thing for her, same as I do. The problem is that you're afraid she's going to dump you for me. Am I right so far?"

Sam couldn't look Dean in the eyes, because that was exactly how he felt. And he hated it. It was like his heart was trying to rip his mind apart.

"Sam, for someone so smart you can sure be an idjit sometime. I knew this might happen the second I realized Helen was with you at the hotel room pretending to be Ruby."

"Wait... you knew it was her the whole time?" said Sam. Dean gave him a flat look. "Right. Sorry. So what are you suggesting?"

"Dude, did it never occur to you that maybe she has no problems with both of us dating her at the same time? So long as we don't cross, it's not like I care I'm sharing a girl with my little brother. And Helen has no intention of forcing us to chose who gets her, from what I understand."

"You mean to tell me she planned this from the start?" said Sam slowly. He couldn't believe Dean of all people was suggesting they share the same girl.

"I'm saying a girl who was given the bird and bees talk from a freaking succubus is more open minded than most," said Dean flatly.

Sam blinked twice. That...would explain a lot actually.

"In any case, we need to figure out the angel's game...or preferably get out of here. I don't know about you, but I can't stand this white collar crap. These suits itch."

Sam snorted. Dean sounded more like himself than he had in months.

Zachariah felt satisfaction. The Winchesters would learn there was no escaping their destiny...and when Lucifer was freed he would kill that damn witch. She had thrown a wrench in the Plan when she had shown up with Dean following her like a loyal dog, but if there was one things angels knew how to do, it was tweak a human's brain.

Zachariah normally wouldn't have cared about the whole dependency issue, but having Dean so besotted with a hell-witch like Helen Crowley simply wouldn't do. So he had removed the brainwashing Helen had done to the older Winchester in hell.

Dean's father had been thorough when it came to instilling a sense of distrust and hatred for all things supernatural. And Helen was a natural witch. Dean's training should make it simple for them to kill her and end the nuisance once and for all.

Watching the humans fumble through a simple ghost hunt was amusing. And then she showed up.

His smirk was wide as the two groups made their way to the top floor where he was waiting for them.

Time to create a rift between the Crowley bitch and the Winchesters, and get things back on schedule.

Helen's fear/hatred of angels had been shoved aside for a new worry.

She could sense the difference in Dean's aura, and the fact he didn't immediately snap to her side worried her greatly. It would take something pretty severe for him to lose the conditioning she had put into him. Or angelic interference, apparently.

She really, really hated angels. Blessed feather dusters.

Just listening to Zachariah was nauseating. The way his oily voice told the brothers exactly what she was and the smug arrogance he exuded...it made her want to rip his wings out. He clearly thought the Winchesters would go after her once they left the building because of how they were raised.

Helen felt a twinge of worry. What if their hunter training was stronger than her conditioning? What if they chose to go after her and joined heaven's side because of some perceived 'goodness' about angels? Sam was always a wild card, if only because he had been very confused on how to react to Dean's obvious attraction and relationship with Helen. And Dean...he was always a good little soldier. One with more intelligence than that damn Micheal, but he still followed his father's teachings. He was every bit John Winchester's son.

Both brothers looked Helen in the eye.

Then, to the eternal shock of the angel, they went and chose her.

They chose a witch raised and trained by demons, who had brainwashed them into being loyal dogs, over an angel of the lord.

Zachariah was pissed. He didn't want them to chose Helen. He wanted them to show the same behavioral patterns they always have, choosing humans over anything to do with the supernatural life. They weren't supposed to pick the Hell Witch over their hunter's training!

Helen grabbed both of them before Zachariah could stop her, and flew back to where the Impala was parked.

She hated flying like that. It made her feel...wrong...for lack of a better term.

Once they left the place behind, and found some random motel that Helen angel and demon proofed, they all sat down at the cheesy table.

"So."

"Sam and I have come to an agreement, but we want something from you if we're going to go through with this," said Dean.

Helen inwardly gulped.

"What?"

"If we're going to stay like we have been, only this time Sam's sharing with me, then we want some control in the bedroom. Not to say we dislike being submissive, but we'd like to be dominant every once in a while too," said Dean.

Helen blinked.

"That's it?"

"You're more trustworthy than those stupid angels have been... weird as that is. Cas is okay, but you've been honest from day one about why you were using us and even kept Sam safe while I was in hell. And frankly the fact you aren't trying to tear us apart while everyone else is means we're willing to give you the benefit of the doubt."

Helen looked at Sam.

"I'll admit, this weirds me out a lot. But frankly I'm tired of hurting just because you're with Dean. And you've never lied about why you do the things you do. You're not ashamed that you aren't the most friendly witch around and you don't hesitate to protect us despite the fact we're not that easy to be around."

Helen relaxed a bit.

"This is actually the longest I've ever been in a relationship. My dad chased away all the guys who showed interest, or they were dumb enough to make demon deals so I dumped them. And I've always been in control, so I wouldn't know the first thing about letting someone else take the reigns," said Helen quietly.

Dean shared a look with Sam.

"Why don't we show you then?"

The arrangement, strange as it was, worked out better than they could have hoped. Sam felt a lot happier sharing with Dean than he had watching them be together without him. And Helen didn't mind dating the two of them at once.

The weird thing was that their codependency issues actually benefited the brothers rather than make it worse. By transferring the emotional and psychological NEED for another human being to Helen, it eased a lot of pressure from Dean and Sam.

Dean still curled up to Helen like a cat, but now Sam started to lean on her as well. It was easier to deal with that strange desire to be near one person, to have them shoulder the burden of keeping them together without falling apart when it wasn't their brother holding them together. Helen accepted it without complaint, and in return shared more than enough acceptance and light that it felt like a burden had been removed from their shoulders.

The fact Helen was just as insecure about being in a semi-healthy relationship was amusing. She wasn't used to being normal. It was like an anathema to her...a by-product of the days before she had a real family. It was why she had so readily accepted madness rather than try to cling to her humanity.

Of course it wasn't all sunshine and roses.

Dean and Sam did not like Alucard. At all. He gave them a vibe that made them reach for the holy water and crucifixes. Something that seemed to endlessly amuse the Master vampire.

Helen was trying very, very hard not to laugh at their expressions. Sadly, when it came to things like this she was never very good at holding such impulses back.

She was holding her sides laughing her ass off while the Winchesters read the 'Supernatural' books which where written by the current prophet.

"Where is this guy and can we gank him?" Dean asked Helen, once she got over her laughter.

"I know where he is, but if you try then an arch angel will come down to gank you. They're rather protective of the guy because he's the current prophet."

"What's a prophet?" asked Sam.

"Let me put it this way... these books are collectively called the 'Winchester Gospels' up in heaven. That help?" she said.

Sam and Dean's faces looked horrified, and she had to fight to not laugh even harder.

"Oh cheer up boys! Once he gets to the point I enter the picture, at least you won't have to deal with the Wincest fans! Or at least not as many," she told them.

"I don't know if I should ask...what is Wincest?" said Dean.

Helen's grin did not inspire the warm and fuzzies. In fact Sam had already put together what it could mean considering the way they acted around each other before Helen showed up, and had turned green.

"You don't mean..."

"Yup. There are a ton of Wincest fanfiction online, and I read them for a quick laugh. Be glad the fan art only barely looks like you," said Helen grinning evilly.

"Oh god..." said Sam, looking ready to hurl. It was bad enough their lives were being written about, the last thing he wanted to think of was doing that with Dean. At least not with Helen between them anyway.

Dean looked like he was figuring it out too, because he turned green.

"I am very definitely not gay," he said, horrified anyone could think he loved his brother to that extent.

Helen couldn't take it. She had to give that little extra push.

"Incest is the best, put your love to the test!"*

She cackled evilly as that seemed to tip them off, and the two immediately ran to separate bathrooms.

*A/N: that incest line is a joke my aunt often makes around me, so I figured I'd quote it. All the women on my mother's side are insane. Including me and my older sister.