So I updated. It took me a few months but I updated nonetheless. If it weren't for those few readers that had reviewed this story over those months then this chapter wouldn't have even been written. Actually, this is probably the fastest I've written a chapter yet. It took me only three days to do it and that's only because the idea for this chapter was one of my original ideas. It felt wrong not to finally write it out and post it.

If no one reviews that's fine...I'm not going to be fishing for them. I mainly am posting this for myself so that I can always have it. :)

I'm not sure when my next update will be. I have about two weeks left of school, two terrible weeks. Maybe once I'm finished for the summer I will keep updating. Let's hope that happens!

Alright, I think I've done enough talking. :)

Chapter 35

Answers

My eyes fluttered open easily, and I had to take a moment to realize where I was. I sat up on my elbows and took in the sight of my new room, wondering how I got so lucky. I let a smile tug at my lips simply because I was here, and as I thought about everything that happened the day before I knew that this was how great mornings were going to be from now on. I sat at the edge of the bed and let out a drawn out yawn, feeling refreshed and ready for what was ahead.

I had almost forgotten that I lived with Brady now, and when I realized he wasn't in the bed next to me I got up and headed for the door to go and find him. When I turned the knob and opened it, I was greeted by the unwelcomed sight of the monster that had made my life a living hell. My body froze in place and my eyes were directly looking at his disgusting face with the claw marks eminent on his cheek. I tried to find it in me to move and get away from him, I tried to breathe, but none of it happened.

I was doomed, and it didn't seem like there was anything that could stop him from killing me.

He raised his shotgun and pointed it straight at my head this time. I still couldn't move, my feet cemented to the floor. His hand lingered on the trigger for a few minutes, torturing me as I waited for my death. All I could really do was wait for it to come and hope it was quick. I shut my eyes so I wouldn't see what was about to happen.

And then, he pulled the trigger-

A blood curdling scream erupted from my throat and now that I was capable of moving I began thrashing and pushing anything in my way, anything that I could get my hands on. I could feel someone's hands on me, pinning me down and I pushed harder, using my nails to defend myself.

"Melody!" their voice shouted over mine.

"Stop! Please I don't want to die! Please!" I begged.

"Melody! Open your eyes it's me! Open your eyes!"

I did as I was told and stopped thrashing long enough to get a good look at who it was. My body began to slightly relax when I realized it was Brady. It wasn't my father. I looked down at my body to be sure there was no blood and that I didn't get shot, and when I was finished checking I looked back at his face to confirm that I was alright.

"Brady?" my voice cracked when the name came out of my mouth and when he nodded I knew I was ok. It was a nightmare, just a terrifying nightmare.

Tears began to stream down my face, and I couldn't see because of it. Brady released his hold on my wrists and let out a relieved sigh, gently pulling me into his lap. I cried into his shirt and waited for all of my fears to leave me. Brady soothed me by rubbing circles on my back and cooing in my ear.

"You're ok," he whispered, "I won't let anyone hurt you."

I heard footsteps making their way into the room, and heard his parent's ask what happened and if I was alright. I couldn't even find it in me to acknowledge them in any way. I was too rattled to focus on anything but regaining my breath and coming back to reality.

It took a while for the sobbing to stop and the shaking to subside. When I was finally ready I wiped my eyes and looked up at Brady. His face was full of concern and I took deep breaths to calm myself so that he wouldn't worry. When my eyes took in the rest of him I noticed the red scratch marks on his neck and forearms.

"Oh God," it came out sounding scratchy because of all the screaming I had done. I reached out and touched the skin on his arms, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

"Don't worry about it. I heal quickly," he wiped away a few strands of hair that were glued to my face and placed a reassuring kiss on my forehead, "Are you alright now?"

I nodded and leaned into him more, "It was just a nightmare."

"About him?"

I hesitated to answer, "Yeah," I admitted, "it felt so real though. I was waking up here and I thought everything was going to be fine. When I opened the door he was standing there, ready to shoot me again."

Brady held me even tighter after I said that and he ran his fingers slowly up and down my arm to try to soothe me like before, "You're safe," he kissed me on the top of my head, "You're safe and here with me. He can't hurt you anymore."

I kept my eyes closed and let his words sink in. As I sat there with him I could feel a shooting pain in my chest every time I breathed. My ribs felt like I had broken them all over again, but I wasn't about to bring it up. I could deal with the pain simply because it reminded me that I was here and not anywhere near my father.

I was here and I was alive.

"Are you sure you still want to go?" Brady asked for the millionth time since I got out of the shower. After the terrible events that unfolded this morning he doubted that I still stood by our decision to get the rest of my things from my house. It took all the strength I had in me to say yes over and over again. There was really only one reason why I wanted to go.

"I told you Brady, I need to do this," I placed my fork back onto my plate, knowing that I couldn't eat anymore of the food Brady's mom had made before she left for work. I stared straight into his eyes to assure him that I was telling the truth, "I need closure. He told me I would be able to find what I needed in his room."

Brady furrowed his brows and pursed his lips, "How do you even know that was all real?"

I sighed, ignoring the pain it caused in my chest, "It was real Brady. I know it was," his face still showed hints of doubt. I knew I needed to explain more so that he would believe me, because whatever I was saying right now obviously wasn't doing the trick, "He showed me a key and told me that I would find closure underneath his bed."

I stood up and brought my plate to the sink, Brady following closely behind me. I headed towards my room, trying to shake away the flashes of the nightmare that had appeared as I walked. I opened the closet and pulled out Noah's sweater, digging in the same pocket that he had pulled the key out of when I saw him. When I had a hold of the key I held it up to Brady's face, hoping that this was enough proof.

He stared at it for a minute with a quizzical look in his eyes before he gazed back at me, "See?" I said, "How would I have known that was there if he hadn't of told me?"

"It just seems impossible," he shook his head.

I chuckled at that, "It's not impossible. If you can turn into a wolf all the time, then it's possible that I talked to my brother."

He smiled and let out a breathy laugh, nodding his head in agreement, "I guess I can't really argue with that."

"So do you understand why I need to go now?" I asked.

He placed his hands on my waist and reeled me in towards him. I placed both of my hands on his chest, but kept my eyes firmly on his, "Yeah, I understand," he brought his lips to mine, keeping them there for only a second before he pulled away, "If you're ready to do it then let's do it."

I smiled at him and pecked him on the lips one more time for good measure, "Thank you."

He grinned and pulled away so that only our hands were connected now, "Come on, let's get the boxes and go."

I nodded, letting him lead me out of the room. We grabbed the boxes that Brady's dad had brought home in the basement and headed for his car in the driveway. I could feel my heart racing inside of me during the whole drive there. Brady noticed and grabbed my hand to comfort me without asking any questions. I was grateful for his support, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to do any of this if it weren't for him.

When we turned onto my street I began gnawing on my lip because of how stressed out I felt. I felt stupid for not being able to control it. I should be able to look at this house and see it as a part of my past, but the nightmare I had made me feel like I would never get rid of this place and all of its painful memories.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of the house when Brady stopped the car. He gave me a minute to absorb everything I was seeing before he spoke, "Ready?"

I nodded in response without even looking in his direction. He got out of the car and headed around to my side. I managed to unbuckle my seatbelt before he opened the door. When his face blocked my view of the house I blinked a couple of times to clear my head. He stared at me for a second or two, trying to read the expression on my face and I looked back at him, not exactly knowing what to say.

"You can do this Melody," he cupped my cheek in his hand so my gaze wouldn't falter away from his, "We're only going in there for a few minutes. Then we can get out of here and leave this place behind for good."

I took a deep breath, realizing that he was completely right. If I could get through ten minutes in that house then I wouldn't have to be in there ever again. I could put it in my past like I so desperately wanted to.

He seemed to know that I was feeling better, either he heard my heart slowing down or he saw my muscles relax. When he dropped his hand from my face and held out his palm I twined my fingers through his and took a step out of the car.

He grabbed two of the boxes from the back seat and I fished for the keys to the house in the pocket of Noah's sweater. We walked up to the front door in silence and I kept my eyes straight ahead so that I wouldn't lose the small amount of confidence that I had gained from Brady's words. I unlocked the door easily but I froze when it came time to open it, feeling vulnerable.

Brady unraveled his hand from mine and did it for me, stepping inside easily with his gaze never leaving my face. I took in the sight of the interior of the house, making sure that I didn't look to the kitchen. I could stand to see the living room, but the kitchen would have to be off limits to my eyes. I had nearly died in that room. I didn't think my brain could handle seeing it.

We didn't linger there for long, Brady led me up the stairs and into my room first. We began packing things into the boxes immediately, not saying anything to each other. It was best to get this over with and get it over with quickly.

I grabbed everything I thought was important to me such as pictures that were stowed away in my drawers, the photos Connor had taken for me, and some books that I had acquired over the years. When I opened the last drawer in the room I sucked in a breath, my eyes closing from the memories the sight had brought on. The small first aid kit sat there looking straight back at me, reminding me of what my life used to be like.

I could hear Brady's footsteps coming up behind me, and when he was standing right over my head he saw what I saw.

That one small box held a lot of who I used to be. It held the razor I used to cut myself with, the band aids and gauze I used to patch myself back together with after receiving a beating from my father. It encased the old Melody and everything that I used to be.

Used to be….

It was my past. It wouldn't be a part of my future. I wouldn't let it be a part of my future. I wouldn't let my nightmares consume me.

I picked up the box and held it out straight in front of me.

"Should we throw it away?" Brady asked.

I shook my head, "I think we should do something else with it," He looked at me and opened his mouth to speak but I cut in before he could, "This thing is a symbol of who I used to be," I said, "it represents who I was in this house, and that's not who I want to be anymore," I ran my fingers over the plastic box, "I think we should burn it."

My suggestion sounded a bit stupid even to my own ears, but I knew that turning the damn thing into nothing but ash would release me in a way. Brady smirked back at me, "I think that's a great idea."

Once we were finished packing everything in my room we took a detour and headed out into the backyard, venturing into the garage where I knew we had lighter fluid. When Brady caught sight of the glass that was still all over the floor from when my father had broken the windshield of Noah's mustang he began shaking, knowing exactly what happened.

"Hey," I turned towards him and placed both of my hands on his arms, "don't focus on that," he still wouldn't stop shaking, "I'm fine Brady. What happened in here doesn't matter anymore."

He peeled his eyes off of the glass long enough to look at me. When I felt his shaking subside I kissed him on the cheek to remind him that everything was ok. He apologized quickly and went to grab the fluid off of the shelf in the back of the garage and the matches that were close by. We took everything out into the backyard and Brady sprayed the fluid all over the box.

"You should be the one to light it," he handed me the box of matches. I bobbed my head up and down and took one match, holding it still for a while before I struck it and threw it onto the first aid kit. I watched the flames dance as the plastic melted and revealed what was inside.

"Go to hell," I murmured, letting go of everything that the box held, letting go of the old me who hated herself and hated her life. I wasn't certain that this would make the nightmares go away or if my fear would ever completely subside. It would take time to know the answers to those sorts of questions. What I did know was that I have the opportunity to choose whether or not I will let all of this define who I am. By burning the first aid kit I was making my choice.

We let the thing burn until almost nothing was left. The razor didn't disintegrate completely, but it was scorched enough to satisfy my needs. When we extinguished the flames we went back inside to finish what we had started. As I made my way into by brother's room I felt a bit anxious to see the thing that would lead me to closure. I decided that it would be best to get that last and began picking up all of my brother's clothes that were strewn out on the floor and folding them neatly on his bed. I didn't want his room to be left all torn up just in case I was missing something I thought I would need to take with me.

"Did he always keep it this messy?" Brady handed me another shirt he had picked up from the huge pile lying on the floor.

I chuckled, "Yeah, he really wasn't the type to clean. The only times he ever did clean was when I was willing to help him. It was always a huge task too and didn't stay nice for long. He was a slob."

Brady laughed and shook his head, "I'll have to agree with you on that."

I put his clothes in his drawer once I was finished folding them and I began to search his dressers for any personal items of his that were still there. I didn't want to leave them here simply because I feared my mother might try to take them. I looked in the first drawer where he kept the few chains he used to wear and the silver watch he had received from an old girlfriend of his as a birthday present. When I looked in the small box where they normally resided I felt sick to find that they weren't there.

"What the hell?" I whispered to myself, frantically rummaging through the rest of his drawer to see if they had been misplaced. When I couldn't find them I began to panic, "Please no," I opened each drawer, looking for any of his personal items such as his cell phone or his pocket knife. None of it was anywhere to be found, "No no no no."

"What's wrong?" Brady asked, coming up behind me and looking over my shoulder to see what I was doing.

"My brother's things aren't in here. His watch is gone, his cell phone, I can't find any of it! What if she took all of his stuff? What if she sold them?"

"Calm down, they have to be here somewhere."

I took a step back and ran my hands through my hair, watching as Brady started doing the exact same thing I had done before.

My eyes scanned the whole room, taking everything in to try to think of some place he might have put them to keep them safe. When my eyes looked at the walls again I realized there was a lot more missing than I had ever realized.

"Brady, none of his stuff is here," I stated, beginning to feel sick.

"What?" he looked at me and stopped searching, "It has to-,"

"No, it's not here," I shook my head from side to side, "He had a framed poster he had gotten signed at a Rolling Stones concert he went to on that wall," I pointed to where it used to be, "He had a collection of guitar picks in his bottom drawer and an electric guitar that used to be in the corner. None of it is here."

Brady's face matched my own, and both of us stayed quiet as we tried to come up with an explanation for it, "You think your mom took all of it?"

I felt my heart begin to race, "I don't know. I never even realized any of it was missing before so it's possible, but I'm not even sure."

"Maybe he kept them somewhere safe so no one would find it," he stood up straight and walked towards me, placing his hands on either of my shoulders and bowing so we were eye level.

"He would've told me if he had done that….wouldn't he?"

He shrugged in response, "Don't jump to any conclusions just yet."

"Yeah I guess you're right," my eyes travelled over to the bed. I hoped my closure was still underneath it. If my mother took everything else I hoped she didn't touch whatever was there. I took a couple steps towards it, feeling the blood pumping in my veins furiously as I stood there staring at the mattress. When I went to reach down, Brady was quick to stop me.

"Don't, I'll get it," he said. I was going to protest at first, but then I remembered that I couldn't really bend over because of my ribs. So I stared at his back as he crouched down and searched for whatever it was that was under there. He stretched his arm out and grabbed something. I sat on the bed next to him as I waited to see it, knowing that I might just fall over once I did.

He lifted his head and looked at me, pulling up a huge black box and placing it on the bed so I could get a good look at it. It had a small padlock on it, which is obviously what the key was for. Taped to the top of the box was a small piece of paper with my name written on it in his handwriting.

The bed sank as Brady sat on my other side, and I ran my hands over each of the letters of my name. This was it. This held whatever I needed to finally find some closure to my brother's suicide. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Thank you for this, I thought. Even though I had no idea what was inside I was thankful that my brother ensured that I would know everything I needed to know about his death. He knew that I would need this in order to completely heal.

"Do you want to open it here?" Brady's voice was gentle and even a bit timid. I guess he was unsure of how I was taking this and how to approach it.

"No, let's go back to your house," I glanced back at him, "I can't do it here."

Brady nodded, placing his hand on my knee and squeezing it.

Once I was finished staring at the thing we took our boxes and headed home. The whole ride was full of tension, both of us obviously too hung up on what could be inside the box to say anything. I took my stress out on my nails and tried my best to get the sick feeling in my stomach to go away. When we finally pulled into the driveway I looked down at the box in my lap. I was so unsure of how this would change things for me. I didn't know how to feel about all of it or how I should react to the things I might discover. For these past few months I've been searching for answers, and now that I was finally going to get them I was afraid I wouldn't want to know them after all.

We walked into the house and went into Brady's room after he had dropped off the boxes in my room. Both of us sat on his bed across from each other, staring down at the box like it was the most interesting thing in the world. I turned the key over in my hand multiple times, still too scared to even put it in the lock. Brady patiently waited for me to be ready, telling me he was there for me and that he wouldn't leave unless I wanted him to. After a while I realized that this was getting me nowhere. I needed to just do it and get it over with no matter what may come of it.

I stopped my fidgeting and held the key firmly in my hand. My eyes met Brady's for a moment before I grabbed the padlock and put the key inside of the hole. I turned the key until the lock made a clicking sound, holding my breath the whole time. It was eerily quiet as I slipped off the lock and grabbed the lid. I looked to Brady one more time before I opened the box and revealed what was inside.

I sat there and stared at all of it. I could see pictures of the two of us, pictures that were kept in a scrapbook before. I saw the keys to his car. I saw an envelope with my name on it and a DVD. I saw a card that said happy birthday on the front, and last of all I saw a tiny box wrapped in wrapping paper with balloons on it and a ribbon tied around it. I grabbed the box and looked at the small tag that was attached to the ribbon.

It read, Happy Birthday Melody. I know I won't be there this year, but I wanted to make sure you still got something from me. –Noah

Tears began to swell up in my eyes and I looked to Brady as a way to calm myself down, "He gave me a birthday present."

Brady seemed so unsure of what to do or what to say, and I knew this had to be hard on him knowing that there was nothing he could really do to protect me from whatever hurt may reside in this box. All he could really do was support me as I unraveled everything, "Open it," he encouraged.

I made sure to keep the tag unharmed as I undid the ribbon and tore the paper, revealing a white box with the name of a jewelry store on it. When I lifted the top I was out of breath from what I saw, the memories flooding back to me.

"You see that?" I pointed at the necklace through the window of the jewelry store. It had a treble clef surrounded by angel wings hanging from the chain, with a small diamond in the middle. I waited for Noah to nod before I continued, "That's the type of jewelry I would wear. If you get me another choker necklace for my birthday this year so help me God I will never speak to you again."

"You have expensive taste."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not saying you have to get it for me I'm just making a suggestion. I don't want any Rolling Stones memorabilia either! Just because you like them doesn't mean that I do."

"I already have an idea of what I'm going to get you."

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"A Rolling Stones choker necklace."

I slapped him upside the head and let out a frustrated groan while he laughed hysterically.

I rubbed my finger over the diamond, knowing that he had to have spent a lot of money on the gift. It was something I would cherish for the rest of my life as the last gift I've ever gotten from my brother.

"Do you want to put it on?" I looked at Brady and smiled, wiping away the tears as I nodded. I turned around and held up my hair, running my fingers over the diamond again once it was hanging on my neck. I curled up into Brady's lap before I focused back on the box. I grabbed the pictures and began flipping through all of them, taking note of where each one was from and when it was taken. I went through the pictures quickly so that I could get to the one thing that was standing out above everything else.

When I reached back into the box I grabbed the DVD and stared at it, fearing what was on it. I kept staring at it for the longest time until I built up enough courage to take the next step, "I want to play it."

Brady's hand stopped mid-stroke on my hair, "Do you want to watch it alone?"

I contemplated my answer, but it didn't take long for me to make my decision, "No, I need you there. I don't think I can handle it on my own."

He replied with a simple ok before he picked me up in his arms and carried me into the living room, the DVD still in my grasp. When I was settled on the couch Brady went to put it in the DVD player and I took a minute to breathe and prepare myself for what I was about to see. Brady came over to the couch and sat beside me, taking my hand in his own and looking to me for confirmation to play it. I glanced at him and nodded, staring back at the blank screen and waiting for it to start.

The first thing I saw was his room, and then all at once he was there. My brother was there. He was alive and he was there.

He adjusted the camera a bit and just from that image of him there I could see he was distraught. His eyes had bags underneath them and his face was moist with tears he had failed to notice.

Oh God Noah, I shut my eyes tight, wondering if I should turn it off and escape. Escape to somewhere far away from here. Brady squeezed my hand and I could feel his eyes studying me as I came close to my break down.

No. I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't become weak. I needed this. As much as it didn't seem like I did right now I would realize that I did soon enough.

I sucked up all the tears and opened my eyes again. Brady pressed the play button and I felt my heart leap. Noah sat in front of the camera with a smile on his face and it was like he was actually here, right in front of me, and the thought gave me strength to keep watching. I noticed that he was wearing the clothes that he died in, so the video was obviously made that same day.

He let out a huge breath and muttered something to himself before he began, "This video is for my sister, Melody. If anyone but her is watching this right now, then you're clearly an asshole," I smiled and shook my head. Only my brother would say something like that, "But anyways, there are a lot of things I need to say in this video to you Melody. The first being that," he paused, his smile fading slowly, "that I love you. I don't want you to ever doubt that I do. I could understand if you despise me after I do this today, because in all honesty you deserve to feel angry. I know I could never ask for your forgiveness, I can only hope for it. So, if there is ever a time where you hate me and hate what I've done, then that's fine. I'd rather have you hating me than feeling miserable."

I could never hate you.

"The second point I want to make is….is that I want you to get out of this house. If there's one thing," he stopped for a moment, his head bowing low and his eyes faltering down to the floor. It took him a minute to finally look back at the camera and continue, "If there's one thing I could ask for before I die it would be for you to leave, to be rid of that bastard. I know that you'll be too overwhelmed to even look at this video for a while, so I'm hoping by the time you see this you would have already gained some common sense and gotten out of here," his smile returned, but it seemed much more forced this time than it had before, "All I really want is for you to live. Live life for the both of us and be happy. You may think you don't deserve to be happy, but Melody," he shook his head and looked off in another direction, "if there's anyone I know who deserves to be happy it's you, and I'm not just saying that. Both of us have been through a ton of messed up shit, and you're going to be the only one who makes it out alive now. Once I'm gone you won't have to worry about being separated from me. You can tell someone without having to worry about what will happen to me. Wherever I'm going….I'm sure it'll be good….I'm so sure of it."

He looked back at the camera and let out a breathy laugh, going silent after that. It seemed like he was contemplating what to say next, and I barely blinked as I waited patiently for him to go on. He let his head hang low again, his hair covering his eyes so they couldn't be seen. I watched carefully as he swiftly swiped at his face, making me wonder if he was currently crying. If he was it could mean that he was still doubtful of his decision to leave this world. If only I could've burst through his door right then and there, preventing him from continuing. Unfortunately, the camera cut out for a split second and brought up a completely composed Noah. He had edited out the previous part, which meant that he really did get upset.

I felt tears begin to sting my eyes when I thought about how scared he must've been, how terrifying it must be to have those horrific thoughts of death creep into your mind every now and then.

"The last thing I need to do is explain to you exactly why I'm doing this today," he closed his eyes for a second before looking at the camera again, "My decision to take my own life had been made a long time ago. Do you remember that one day? The day we made a plan to go to college and live out normal lives?" I did remember that day. It was in the summer right after my brother had gotten a job down in Port Angeles. We were at the beach, dreaming about possibilities that seemed so out of reach at the time. We decided that we would save up our money and get out of that house when I turned eighteen, "From the beginning that plan never included me. In my mind it had always been intended for you and only you. I know you're not going to want to believe me when I say this…..but I…I," he furrowed his brows, "I never planned on living a long life. I know why I was put on this earth, and it doesn't involve me going to college or…or getting a real job. I was put here to make sure that you, my little sister, got the same opportunities as everyone else, and to make sure you would be supported in any decision you make towards your future," I pulled my knees up close to my chest in an attempt to keep myself together, "My life means little to me compared to yours. I am willing to die if it means that you get to finally live," he reached behind him and picked up a piece of paper, showing it to the camera, "I'm putting this in an envelope for you. It explains a lot, but I want to tell you myself what it means.

"I'm giving you everything that I have. Every cent I've made at that job I got in Port Angeles is yours," he pursed his lips, "well most of it is…I needed a bit for gas so…well you get the point," I didn't know if I exactly did get the point just yet, "I'm giving you the mustang too. I want you to sell it, don't keep it for sentimental value, it's not even worth it. Just do it for me," in my head I kept refusing his request, because I knew how much time he spent on that car. I knew it meant a lot to him. He was physically telling me to do it though, so how could I refuse? "Don't go looking in my room for things either. You won't find any of it," that explains a lot, "I sold it all. It has no meaning anymore. It'll only sit and collect dust. Now you're probably asking me why I needed to sell all of this stuff," he looked at me and I looked right back at him, the whole world disappearing for a while, "Melody…I want you to go to college and become successful. I want you to find someone who loves you and will take care of you," I squeezed Brady's hand this time, "I want you to be able to see how great the world can be. I don't want you sitting around crying over my death…but knowing you the chances of that happening are probably slim to none," he was right about that, "Just don't dwell on it…" he paused, staring straight at me, "please move on and let go of me. I'll be fine…wherever I go I'll be fine. I know that what I'm doing for you will clear my conscience of anything I've done wrong. If I have to…die in order for you to have a better future, then I'm willing to do it. As sick as it sounds I am…I'm ok with dying."

I tried to swallow the sobs that were making their way up my throat. I bit the sleeve of his sweater to prevent them from escaping as the salt water ran down my cheeks. I knew why he did it. I knew why he took his own life. He killed himself to save me, to provide for me in the only way he knew how. He gave me everything he had to ensure that I would have a future. I didn't know if I should feel exasperated by it or feel grateful. It was a toss-up considering the circumstances.

"I don't want you to blame yourself though. My intentions aren't to make you feel responsible. I just…I know that with the way things are there won't be room for me. If I stayed here it would mean that you would have to give up going to college just because you were dealt sucky cards. You would have to give up your dreams because there weren't enough resources for you to pursue them. Because let's face it, we were never going to be able to save up enough money for both of us to go to school. What I'm giving you might not even be enough, but hey," he seemed much more confident now than he had before. His eyes were glistening with old tears, and yet he looked like he was positive he was making the right choice, "at least I can say that I tried. There's no shame in trying…just as there's no shame in dying," he chuckled, obviously realizing he had just rhymed without realizing it.

It was a terrible thing to laugh at, and it was terrible to think that after this video ended he would shoot himself. But if he could find humor in his last moments, if he could feel happy in that moment, then I could try to be happy about living without him here.

"Anyways, I love you sis. I really do love you," I love you too Noah, "and I want more than anything for you to have a future without the bruises and the scars…without me. Hopefully after you see this video you'll understand that I'm only looking out for you, and when I'm gone I hope that I keep doing that. I'll do everything in my power to be there for you…even in death," he looked over his shoulder at something before he turned back to the camera, "You're still in school right now," he began bouncing his knee and breathing heavily, "I don't want you to find me. I'm trying to time it so you won't. I want him to find me, to see….to see my body," he shuddered and froze in his seat, "I'm sorry if it does turn out to be you. I don't want you seeing me like that."

He shook his head frantically, "Just…I love you ok? I need to say it one more time so that's the last thing you hear. Don't think about anything else but that. And I'll see you when I see you," the corners of his mouth slightly turned upward, "Bye, Mel."

He sat there for only a second with the smile on his face before the screen went black. He was gone; he had spoken for the last time in that video. It was the last time I could ever see him alive, because after the camera shut off he had probably gone downstairs into the bathroom and pointed a gun at his head.

I wrapped my arms tighter around my legs and rested my forehead on my knees, hiding my face from Brady's view. I needed a moment to take it all in, to process the fact that my brother had killed himself so that I could live. He shot himself to give me a chance.

I let out a sob, my shoulders shaking as more and more came. Brady wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me up against his side. I was thankful to have him here; his warmth comforted me like nothing else could. He didn't try to stop my crying, he just sat there with me, supporting me. He could not know what to do and still choose the right things in the end. That's what I loved about him.

When everything had sunk in and I was finished with crying I lifted my head and faced the world again. My eyes went straight to Brady. I made a weak attempt to smile and wiped my cheeks dry, "Thank you," I whispered.

He ran his thumb over my chin before he wrapped both of his arms around me, pulling me flush up against his chest. I melted into him, my thoughts drifting back to the video. Despite all of the sadness, the most distinct thing that I felt right now was relief. I was relieved that all of my questions were finally answered. I could go on knowing the truth, that my brother had always been looking out for me. He had always been thinking of ways to make things better for me. Always being selfless and putting me first. If I could take back one thing about my relationship with my brother it would be that I took him for granted. He was an amazing human being, and I didn't always acknowledge that when he was alive. I should've told him how I felt about him more often. I should've let him know that I was there for him as much as he was there for me.

Should've, would've, could've. There was no use in analyzing my actions towards my brother. None of that mattered anymore. What mattered now was trying to live up to my brother's expectations.

"I want to open the envelope," I said quietly.

Brady didn't even give me time to say anything else before he was up and heading to his room. When he came back and sat next to me again I took the envelope, looking at my name as it stared right back at me. I tore the thing open and grabbed the sheet of paper that was neatly folded inside. When I unveiled what was written on it I read over the words carefully. Just after I read the first line I realized what this was, and it made me feel nauseous.

"He made a will," my eyes grew wide.

"What?" Brady's face mimicked my own.

"He made his own will," even though my brother had explained to me that he was giving me all of his belongings I didn't know to what extent. This paper right here proved that he really had been planning this out for a while, "I don't know if I can read through this," I folded the paper back up, placing it onto the coffee table. My stomach kept churning as I stared at it.

Brady grabbed the paper and read it all for himself. His eyes glided across the page and I watched him carefully, trying to predict how he was reacting. When he was finally finished he went pale, his eyes frozen on the bottom of the paper.

"What does it say?" I asked hesitantly.

He blinked a few times before he looked up at me, "He really did give you money."

I waited for him to say the number, soon realizing that he wasn't going to spit it out unless I pried, "How much money?"

"A lot," he handed the paper back over to me.

When I heard my brother tell me he had given me all the money he had I believed that it would've been a few hundred bucks. But when I saw the number at the bottom of the page I knew that he had much more money than he had ever led on.

I wondered if maybe I had read the number wrong, closing my eyes to try to make things clearer. When I opened them up again the same number was staring back at me, and my heart jumped into my throat.

"Fifty five hundred dollars."

Well? What did you think? Again, the whole video idea was one of the original ideas I had for this story. It feels very weird to have it finally written out.

I need to clear up a couple of things before I stop talking. First of all, the whole thing with the will is a possibility in Washington. I did my research and realized that citizens in Washington could create their own wills as long as they have it signed by two witnesses. You may ask who the hell those witnesses could be in this case...well we will get to that in the future. There will be a lot to say about that :)

Second of all, I really tried to make this chapter more about Melody and her brother instead of her and Brady, but of course I couldn't really leave him out. How do you think I did?

Once more, I don't care if no one reviews. I simply ask questions to ask in case anyone feels like responding.

Thank you again to those people who have recently reviewed this story. You are the reason why this is being posted right now.

:)