[AN: IMPORTANT! This is the next to last chapter in this book! I hope you've all enjoyed it so far! I'll be posting the first chapter of the next book with the last chapter of this one! I had to separate it because the rating is going up to M, but I did make an ending to this book so it could stand alone in case there were people that are too young for the content of the rest of the story... lol. I'm so glad this is already spell checked and stuff, working 14 hours a day for 4 days a week with 8 one day, 8 1/2 the other and being on call for the last is terrible! No time to myself or anything but work and sleep sucks. But before I go to bed, here's a chapter! As always, I hope you enjoy, please feel free to review, message, or just read!]

Scott, Jean, Logan, Hank, and Ororo all sat in Charles Xavier's office, going over what had happened a few hours before.

"Something needs to be done about her, we don't even know what she was doing to him!" Scott said, loudly and angrily.

Jean put her hand on his arm from the chair next to him. "I could feel it, she didn't feel like she was mentally attacking him, Scott."

"I felt it too, and I think you're right, Jean, but she was making him feel those emotions, too," Charles told her.

"She needs discipline," Scott said, feeling like Charles had let her walk all over everyone since she had gotten here.

"If you are too harsh on her, she will run, and then she will be out there with those powers and no training to control them," Charles told him.

"And don't think for a moment that Magneto won't try to recruit her," Ororo added.

"That too," Charles agreed.

"Something needs to be done," Scott insisted.

"It was her first mission, and she wasn't prepared for it, it came out of nowhere. She did well, until that new mutant went nuts and tried to kill the Elf," Logan said.

"People try to kill us every time we go on a mission," Scott attacked him verbally.

"She thought he was already dead in front of her," Logan growled back, defending his pupil.

"Imagine if you thought you saw Jean being killed in front of you, Scott, how well would you handle it?" Hank asked him.

He glared behind his sunglasses, but didn't say anything as he slouched in his chair.

"Jean, what did it feel like to you?" Charles asked her.

Jean looked away, embarrassed to reveal Kerri's deepest thoughts. "It felt like she was going to commit suicide."

"Yes, that's what I felt, too," Charles sighed.

Scott shot back up. "See? We need to do something about her! We can't just have a suicide bomber on our squad!"

"She wasn't actually committing suicide, tightass," Logan told him.

"How do you know? You're not a telepath, you can't read her mind," Scott shot back, standing to get in his face.

Jean put a hand on his arm, guiding him back to his seat. "She wasn't, the thoughts felt old, like she was bringing them up to use them..."

Ororo and Hank looked at each other as Charles nodded his head in agreement, and Hank spoke, "I could give her an evaluation, if it would make you feel better about her being here, Scott."

Kitty entered the med lab with Piotr right behind her.

She put the outfit she'd brought on the end of the bed and pulled a chair over to Kerri, close enough so she could try to brush out her hair with the comb she'd also brought.

Kerri started, jumping back in her seat, looking around with bleary eyes.

Kitty smiled sadly at her and pulled her hair over to her and started trying to comb it as Kerri looked up at Kurt.

She put her hand on his leg, just to make sure he was really still there, looking at the machines to make sure he still had a pulse.

Kitty talked to her as she untangled the mass of hair hanging around Kerri's head, but Kerri stayed silent and watched Kurt sleep. She had remembered what she'd done, and the guilt and shame had hit her.

She was ashamed that she'd let the emotions carry her away, not caring that she was bleeding to death as she pushed her pain onto the one who had hurt Kurt, embarrassed that Logan had had to snap her out of it and make her go help him. Mad at herself that she'd fallen asleep while she watched over him.

Kitty braided Kerri's hair after she had gotten it all combed. "Are you ready for a shower?" She asked, and Kerri's eyes turned to her, then to Kurt and her hands tightened on the bed, still afraid of leaving him.

Kitty understood and stood, urging her up as she assured her, "don't worry, you can still see him, Piotr, will you watch the door?" Piotr nodded solemnly and went to stand in the hall and guard the door. Kitty pulled Kerri to the next curtain and closed it almost all of the way, getting a bucket of warm water and bringing out some soap. She helped Kerri wash quickly, getting most of the blood, dirt, and sweat off, then handed her the clothes she'd gotten from her room. "Hope you don't mind that I went in without your permission," Kitty told her.

She nodded, but she was still watching Kurt lay in the bed from around the curtain.

Kitty went to let Piotr back in, but left when Charles, Hank, and Logan came in.

"I'm glad to see that you've had a shower," Hank commented to her, where she sat in the chair again.

Charles came to her side without the chair. "Dr. McCoy would like to ask you some questions, just to make sure that you're feeling ok. Is that alright?"

Kerri was silent, her eyes focused on Kurt's face.

How she wished she could see it smile, kiss it, tell him she loved him...

"Kid," Logan said sharply, and she nodded. Charles looked at Logan, catching his eye, and he added, "Out loud."

"Yes," Kerri's voice was airy, stressed with worry.

Hank sat in the chair the Kitty had left. "Kerri, I know you just went through a trauma, but I want to talk to you about it. Would that be all right?"

"Is this a psych test to see if I'm traumatized?" She asked quietly.

Hank looked at Charles apprehensively, then nodded. "Yes, we want to make sure you're ok." She'd always seemed to have a good amount of knowledge about how she felt, so he started by asking, "Are you ok?"

Kerri thought for a second. "I'm not sure, I think so..."

"What are you feeling?" He asked. She looked up slightly, then back to Kurt, finally turning to Hank and putting her hand on his arm, waiting for his consent. He caught on and nodded his head.

Kerri looked at his hand, imagining it as part of her, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath, dropping all of the shields around her.

Her emotions flowed into him, not pushed, they were just there, and he could feel everything she was thinking. Confusion washed over him, sadness, careful hope, yearning. She was afraid she was going to lose Kurt, but she was hopeful that he was looking so good, guilt was there, too, and a sense of responsibility. Hank put his hand on her shoulder, telling her, "It wasn't your fault, you're not the reason he was hurt."

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, wondering about the quilled boy. "How can you be sure? That guy, he wouldn't have..."

"Magneto was here to attack because he and I have different views on how to better mutant kind," Charles said.

Kerri looked at him, taking her hand back. "Magneto?" He nodded. "That's the guy with the weird sound?"

"Weird sound?" She nodded. "Magneto controls electromagnetic fields. What you probably heard was him pushing against the earth's magnetic force to fly."

She nodded, excepting this explanation and looking back to Kurt.

Hank patted her leg. "There are a few more questions I have to go over." She nodded again, and he continued. "How do you feel about suicide?"

Her eyes jerked to Hank, then to Charles. "You felt that, huh?" He bowed his head in acknowledgement. She looked back to Kurt, telling them, "Suicide is never the answer. It just means you have to push forward, rely on yourself more, and to hell with everyone else."

"It felt like you were pulling up old feelings." She nodded and he continued, "when were they from?"

"Last night I was at my mom's house, I mean, I went back later, but that was the last night I stayed there." Charles gestured for her to continue, and she took a breath. "The counselor at school told them I was a mutant, and they thought it was a good enough reason to kick me out, so they chained my door closed, with padlocks and chains and stuff... There was a note that said, 'get out'." She said it all matter of factly, unattached from the emotion after confronting her mother at the hospital, which seemed so long ago now, like a lifetime had passed. "I went around, I had a habit of never closing my window all the way, so that fresh air could get in, and I packed some stuff, and I stayed there, trying to figure out what to do.

"The little while before that was still effecting me. It had been hard on me, like it probably is on most mutants at first, but I was already convinced that I didn't really deserve to exist as a normal person, let alone as a lowly, dirty mutant. Kid's at school's words," she explained when a disapproving look crossed their faces. "But that's what emotional abuse can do to you. My only friends had left me, I had no one, I couldn't take my books or things, I had nothing, I had nowhere to go, no one would take me in, I didn't have any money. Then I was so deep, I was thinking about killing myself. And I thought that it would be different if my dad was there, he loved me. And I realized that he wouldn't want me to do it, he loved me, and he raised me to forget about others issues with me, to be strong and self reliant. And I picked myself up, and got my stuff together, and I left in the morning."

"You went back?" Charles asked.

"Yes. I thought maybe they'd changed their minds into uncaring again, but when I went up to them, my, step-parent, he yelled at me for a few hours, then my mom saw me shift, she looked so horrified, I didn't dare go back. Oh yeah, and he called me a slutty mutie crack whore, or something," she said with a hint of amusement in her voice.

There was silence for a moment, then Charles asked, "Why were you pushing this feeling onto that boy?"

Kerri looked down, flushing with embarrassment. "It- I think it was the things he was saying... He wouldn't let me get close to Kurt." She looked up at his still, sleeping body. "And he was saying that he was going to rack up kills to make a name for himself, and he kept bragging that he'd killed Kurt... He was acting like nooneelse's life meant anything, and when-" she pushed away the tears trying to form. "When I thought Kurt was dead, I felt empty again; my life was coming back together, and he'd tore everything away from me like it was nothing... I wanted him to know how it felt, what he was doing to people, make him stop..."

Charles put his hand on her shoulder, reassuringly, and Hank squeezed her hand on her lap. "One more. Did you hurt anyone more than a bruise?"

"Well, I cut that boy- Quicksilver's hand a little when I was trying to get away from him and he had a hold of my tail, but, not enough for stitches, and I was holding that other guy kinda tight, my fingernails might've cut him, they're pretty sharp," she told them.

They left her and stood away from the bed Kurt was in. "I can understand how that could happen, especially if you have trouble expressing yourself; actually being able to make someone feel an emotion, it might seem like the only way to make someone understand," Hank told Charles. "I think she'll be back to her already damaged self soon, although it's dependant on Kurt's recovery; she seems to have a little survivors guilt, or something like it."

Kerri dared to put her hand onto Kurt's, holding it to her cheek and rubbing her face against it while she thought no one looked.

She felt his fingers move and looked up to his face. His eyes twitched and her stomach churned uncertainly.

His eyes fluttered, then slowly opened, and she jumped up, hope surging in her, her eyes trained on his face. "Kurt," she whispered, not quite daring to believe it.

"Mm?" He asked, dizzily. His eyes cleared and he looked up at her. "Kerri?"

"Kurt," her body jolted forward, but stopped. She stepped closer to his head, her hand still holding his, words rushing out. "Kurt, I- I'm sorry, what- oh wait," she set his hand down on the blanket and made sure she wasn't touching him. "I'm sorry, whatever I did that made you mad at me, I didn't mean to, and I- I love you, please don't be mad at me," she begged quietly.

Kurt's eyebrows raised in surprise.

He'd woken up, in the med lab by the looks of it, with his shoulder throbbing angrily. He wasn't sure what Kerri was apologizing for, the words didn't quite make sense to him, but he thought he'd heard her say she loved him.

Was it real, or had his pointed ears played a trick on him?

Kerri was looking at him, her chin down, large ears turning, focusing on him, but flicking back, worried about what the teachers would say. She couldn't take it anymore, though, the worry about losing him, the unsureness about if he felt the same way about her, it was too much at this point, she needed something simple.

She all but leapt forth and kissed him, an overwhelming joy filling her at the feeling of his lips against hers, warm and alive.

Kurt could feel Kerri's hands gripping at him, trying to get close, but worried about hurting him, tears streaming down her face and onto his. When she pulled back to breath and look at him, he joked, "Zhat has got to be zhe best vay to vake up, ever." He winced and his hand went to his chest. "Except for zhat."

Kerri leapt back, away from him, fearing she had hurt him.

Hank came over, checking him out. "You are doing great, I expect a full recovery."

They'd made Kerri leave so he could rest, but Kurt wished she was still here. He wanted to ask her if she'd said she loved him. He wanted to know, needed to know, the only thing keeping him here right now was that the monitor would start emergency paging if his heartbeat disappeared.

He tried to lay back and heal quickly, but he wasn't tired.

A few days later, Kerri descended to the lower floors, finally allowed to go see Kurt. Opening the door to the med lab she crossed the floor. She peaked around the curtain, but the bed was empty. She frantically looked around, an unbased worry that Kurt had somehow died surfacing. She should have tried harder to come see him before.

She ran upstairs and looked around, finally heading outside. She was looking around when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Kurt standing there in his hologram.

Her breath rushed out in relief.

"Hallo, Kerri," he said nervously. "I know zhat you vere not allowed to come see me vhile I vas in zhe med lab, aber, I have a quvestion for you..."

"Ok," Kerri said, and they went to the place on the school wall that was best for watching stars. Kerri was nervous, wondering what he was going to say.

Kurt watched her as she stared at her tail, fidgeting nervously with it and biting her lip.

She was so beautiful, he wondered how he'd ever thought he would be able to stay away from her.

"Kerri-" He hesitated as she looked up at him. "Kerri, I'm sorry, zhat I bit you, it vas an accident..." He looked away, not feeling he deserved to look at her beauty.

"You bit me?" She asked and his eyes shot back to hers.

"Ja, you, you don't remember? Zhat's vhy I vas avoiding you, I vas afraid of hurting you again..." Kurt looked into her truly confused eyes.

She really didn't know that he'd bitten her? How did she think her lip had gotten hurt?

"Oh, I- That's not fair Kurt, I thought I-" she stopped before she blurted out that she thought she'd controlled his emotions. She didn't want him to wonder about that every time she touched him, she did enough of that for the both of them. "I thought I did something that made you hate me!" She told him, her face reflecting her hurt.

Kurt took her hand in his. "Never, liebling, you could never do anyzhing to make me hate you," he told her.

She pulled her hand away. "They didn't tell you what happened after that guy shot you full of quill, did they," she asked, her voice flowing evenly, worry and sadness not quite hidden there.

"A little, zhe Professor said zhat if I vanted to know zhe details, I should ask you," he admitted.

"I-" Kerri's voice cut off, not knowing how to tell him. "I did something really horrible... They had to do a psych eval on me so I could stay here... Probably to appease Scott..." She muttered under her breath.

Kurt took her hand again, holding it close to him. "Vhat vas it?"

"That guy, I- made him feel, like he wanted to kill himself..." Kerri told the grass through her tail.

To her surprise, Kurt brushed her tail away from her face, looking into her eyes. "I heard zhat, Professor Xavier said you did it to stop him from killing ozher people, because he vas talking about genocide."

Kerri looked into his eyes ruefully. "How can you sit next to me after you've heard that?"

"Kerri, you vere trying to save countless lives, besides, judging is not for us, only God can judge you," Kurt told her, reaching to brush his fingers across her cheek.

"Try pulling that with the supreme court," a smile crept into the corner of her mouth and Kurt smiled back.

"Ok, next quvestion. I vas a little confused when I voke up, I heard und saw some zhings... I just vant to know if zhey are real or not..." He looked back to the ground, trying to gain confidence.

"If you're going to ask if I took a sponge bath while you were in the room, yeah, that happened," Kerri said lightly, trying to bring humor to the situation.

"Vhat? You took a sponge bazh in zhe same room vizh me, und I vasn't avake?!" Kurt's eyes widened. "I'm never sleeping again," he joked.

"Good luck with that. And I was behind a curtain, you wouldn't be able to see me anyway," she told him.

"Liebling, a flimsy sheet couldn't stop me from seeing you," Kurt told her, only half joking.

"So, I'm your favorite again?" She asked tentatively.

"Still," he corrected. He tried to ask the real question, but he was struck with a wave of apprehension and couldn't get the words out.

"Kerri, do you know vhat liebling means?" He asked her instead.

"It means favorite," she said, covering her lower face with her tail and looking at the grass while she thought, 'he doesn't remember that I said I love him...'

"Ja, es also means darling, liebling," Kurt told her.

Her face found his again, her eyes large in disbelief. "You've been calling me darling this whole time?!"

He looked at the grass to his right, away from her. "Vell, I did tell you zhat I like you..."

He liked her, maybe it was safe, she should tell him she loved him again, right now, before she lost her nerve.

She was almost on top of him in a flash. "I- sorry," she adjusted her arms as she held onto him so she didn't hurt his shoulder. "I wanted to tell you, Kurt, I- I really l-ike you..." 'Nerve lost,' she thought, feeling lousy.

Kurt gulped as she knelt over one of his legs, the only thing in his immediate view were her breasts.

"I really like you, too, Kerri," he told her, trying to lean up to kiss her, but she stopped him.

She almost blushed as she asked, "Will you turn your hologram off? Please?"

He reached over and pressed the button on his image inducer, turning it off. "You really are into fuzzy blue guys vizh tails, ja?" She blushed and looked down, but he put his fingers under her chin. "It's ok, I like you, too, I zhink I have since I first saw you..."

"I thought you thought I was a creepy little kid," she teased.

"Sice I saw zhe real you," he amended. She pulled him close, crushing his face into her chest. His body reacted to the soft mounds of flesh, and he pulled away. "Maybe ve should move, liebling," he suggested.

"Why?" She asked.

"Vell, vhile I enjoy zhe view..." He blushed, unable to continue.

"You want to see more?" She teased.

"Liebling," he blushed harder at her naughty joke.

"You didn't say no," she teased.

"Vell, I am a man, you know," he told her.

"Yes, I know," she told him. "I also know that men are probably programmed so they can't say no to seeing more boob." Kurt's blushing face remained silent. She put her lips against his, brushing them back and forth lightly. "You want to kiss me?"

His golden eyes looked up to hers. "Ja," he told her. It was more than a want though, his lips ached to kiss her, it was now more important than his next breath due to her teasing lips.

She pressed her lips against his, parting them, about to deepen the kiss, tongue just touching his, and pulled back, leaving him hanging on the verge of the ecstasy of kissing her. "Only if you promise not to run away again if something happens."

He looked up into her eyes, and his tail twitched as his naughty side started to show itself. "Maybe I vill take it by force, zhen," he told her with a smile on his lips. She tilted her head teasingly, and he gently knocked her over so she was laying on her back on the ground. He looked down at her, landing on his hands and flinching.

"Kurt, be careful," Kerri told him, but he brushed it off.

"I'll be fine, liebling. It vas only muscle zhey hit," he told her.

"You're stitched up," she pointed out.

"Zhey vill come out in a few days," he comforted her. "In zhe meantime, I'm taking zhat kiss." He leaned down and his lips touched hers. He deepened the kiss, his tongue moving to slide against hers. It was slow, deliberate, hot, like he was making love to her mouth. Kerri's hand gripped at his shirt, holding onto something in the torrent of feelings flowing through her, and she moaned into his lips. He pulled back, breaking the kiss to look down at her, so perfect and beautiful.

"I was being selfish, you know," she told him.

Kurt was confused by this thought out of nowhere. "Vhat?"

"That guy. When I was making him feel that way. I thought I'd lost you, and I couldn't handle it. I wanted him to hurt as bad as I hurt, to know how the people would feel if he killed someone they-" she broke off as she almost inferred she loved him. Kurt couldn't think of anything to say, so he just ran his knuckles down her face. "I don't want to lose you..." She told him quietly.

"I don't vant you to lose me, eizher, und I don't vant to lose you," he told her. He heard giddy laughter and sat up, wincing in pain as he put pressure on his not yet completely healed arm. "Somevone is coming."

Kerri sat up and leaned against his uninjured side, cuddling as close as possible.

Kitty and Piotr came around the corner, and she almost ran as she came to them. "Look!" She held up three envelopes. "I've been accepted into three more colleges!" She took in what was going on and forgot about the letters. "You told her!"

Kurt blushed, but it was invisible under his fur. "Nein, I haven't..."

Kerri looked up at her in question. "Told me what?"

Kurt's tail wrapped around Kerri's leg as he denied, "nozhing."

Kitty sighed as she looked at Kerri. "I'm forbidden to tell you. Well, anyway, Kurt, Ororo said to come get you to get fitted for a gown for graduation."

"Ja, ok. I'm sorry, I have to leave, liebling," he told Kerri.

"It's ok, and congratulations on the acceptances, Kitty!" She called as they walked away. She sat there for a while longer, hardly believing that Kurt still liked her. She pinched herself on the arm. "Ow." 'Nope, not dreaming,' she thought.