"Ok…" I say, lifting myself out of my seat and opening the back door.
I pick Sydney up and balance the diaper bag on my shoulder, then turn to the house.
Time to introduce Sydney to her grandparents!
Well…the closest thing she has to grandparents.
I need to ask Cat about why her family has been totally out of the picture.
That shouldn't be too awkward…
I make my way up the steps, readjust Sydney on my shoulder then open the door.
I feel Sydney grab onto my shoulder as I slip inside, then use the back of my foot to close the door behind me.
My mom looks up from cutting something, then lit up and covered her mouth.
Dad, who obviously was watching TV, but looked over to Mom, then poked his head out to see me and Sydney.
"Is she awake?" Mom quietly asked me.
"Yeah." I replied, just as I felt something wet hit my shoulder.
I looked over to see Sydney with both hands on my shirt, with it in her mouth.
Dad laughed as Mom said "Aww."
I smiled and took her off my shoulder.
Eyes open, taking in her surroundings, and hands extended towards me.
"Hiii…" Mom smiled.
Sydney's eyes crossed briefly but then started to look for where my mom was.
She can't turn her head yet, but her eyes tell you everything. I know if she's sad, mad, grumpy, hungry, sleepy, or happy.
Right now she wants to know who was just now talking.
I turn her in my arms, and she immediately locks onto my mom.
"Say hi…" I smile at her.
She let out a gurgling noise and flexed her fingers.
"Somebody wants to say hi!" Dad smiled.
"What's her name?" Mom smiled at her.
"Sydney Jade Valentine." I said.
"Great name. Hi Sydney!" Dad smiled as my mom held out her hand.
Grab The Finger: Hand Edition!
She got a hold of 3 fingers, but dropped one and hung onto 2.
"Wanna hold her?" I asked Mom, who is enamored with Syd.
"Yes please…"
I hold her out and Mom grabbed her perfectly, with Sydney helping and grabbing onto Mom.
"Hi!" Mom beamed.
Dad smiled and came over to hug me. "How are you holding up?"
"I'm ok. Tired." I said.
"She's wearing you out?" He asked as Sydney's cheek twitched.
"Yeah. It's just a lot of work."
"I know what you mean son."
I laughed.
Then Syd let go of Mom's hand, then stuck her fist in her mouth and let out a "Mhmmm." Noise.
"Hungry." I say, turning and taking the diaper bag off my shoulder.
Mom turned to look at me, clearly impressed.
"Oh really?" Dad said with a laugh in his voice.
I handed my mom a bottle.
"Yeah. Watch."
Mom obviously wasn't expecting to feed her, but smiled and happily began feeding her.
Syd began sucking on the bottle vigorously and tightly grabbed the bottle.
"She's a learner!" Mom smiled.
"She's cute too. How old is she?" Dad asked.
"She is 2 weeks old today."
Mom slowly walked over to the calendar.
"So she was born the 6th?"
"Yeah."
"How's Cat?" Mom asked, as she started burping her.
"She's a lot better. At first we thought she might die because she lost a ton of blood, but after about a week she woke up and is getting out today."
"Why was she in for so long?"
"I'm not sure. The way the doctor explained it, the delivery should have been C Section, but Cat wanted natural birth." I say, not pleased with the little amount I know.
"Hmm. Maybe she should have listened and done the C section. She could have been out already." Mom said.
I shrugged. "I have no idea."
"Has she spent much time with little Sydney?" Dad asked.
"Yeah, I've basically been going between home and the hospital."
"How much time have you gotten to yourself?" Mom asked me.
"Not much, if any at all. She keeps me busy."
Dad frowned and Mom spoke up. "Robbie, I can tell you care about her, but you've got to think about yourself too you know."
"Mom, How am I supposed to be able to think about me when I'm her primary caretaker?"
"What do you mean?" Dad asked.
"Well, when Cat was in danger the first few days after the birth, we had to look for a will to see what to do if Cat did pass away. We found a will and I'm supposed to take care of her."
"Robbie!" Mom exclaimed.
"What?" I ask, looking at Sydney for signs that she's about to howl.
She's as happy as a clam, having a bottle.
"That's great! Congratulations!"
"Are you guys dating?" Dad asked.
"No. She actually has a boyfriend." I say quietly.
I can feel the excitement and air go right out of the room.
"Really? When'd she meet this guy?" Mom asked.
"She records music with him. He knew her before I got involved."
"But why get you involved if there is already a guy ion the picture?" Dad looks confused.
"I was just a safety net in case it fell thru I assume."
"But that doesn't make sense Robbie." Mom said.
"I know. I've been grappling with that since I found put." I say grumpily.
"You sound unhappy."
"I am. I don't know my place in all of this. She got a boyfriend, offered me a place to live, and made it seem like I was a temporary thing."
"What are you going to do once things settle into a groove?" Dad asked.
"No idea. I might end up on the sidelines now that Jade's moved back and Cameron being around more."
"Cameron?" Mom asked.
"That's the guy's name." I said.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Where's he from?" dad asked.
"Australia. Part of a band, but he's the face of it."
"Has there been any press around them?"
"No, but they haven't hit the big time yet."
The sound of Sydney letting off gas, followed by her 'Change My Diaper!' cry sprung me into action, changing her diaper on an area of the kitchen Mom cleared off quickly.
"God I forgot how smelly babies are." Dad said, cringing as I wrapped her diaper up then put it in the outside trash.
"I haven't." I say quietly, causing Mom to smile, then blow on Sydney's tummy.
She immediately let off a giggle.
"Hey! She giggled!" I say happily.
"Yeah, is that her first one?" Dad asked.
"Uh huh. Nice job Syd!" I said as Mom blew on her tummy again and she giggled and waved her arms around.
"When are you going to the hospital?" Mom asked me as Sydney made eye contact and flexed for me.
I scoop her up. "Here in a minute. I just need to get her redressed."
"Ok. While you do that I can make you a quick sandwich." Mom offered.
"And I can pull baby duty." Dad volunteered.
"Ok, that sounds great, thanks Mom." I come and hug her.
"Thanks baby." She says, as Sydney grabbed my mom's hair.
"She's a handsy one." Mom commented as I handed her to Dad.
Sydney went stock still and looked off into the distance, clearly learning about my dad.
"Oh yeah, she's always has got her hands in something."
"So what are your plans baby?" Mom asked, grabbing some roast beef out of the fridge along with lettuce and mayonnaise.
"Go to the hospital, get Cat home and start figuring out how that is going to work."
"Have you talked to her label?"
"Yeah, briefly. They just wanted to know Cat was ok and that they wanted to speak to her, but not in a few more weeks once she's stronger."
"She's weak?" Mom asked, grabbing the bread.
"Not really, just fatigued."
"Makes sense. Has Sydney had any checkups?"
"Yeah actually. We went yesterday. Sydney has gained a pound in 2 weeks and is now ready for a little bit of exercise to strengthen her."
"And that is?"
"Encourage her to reach out and grab something. Also, Jade bought a mirror because apparently she would have her own reflection."
"You did, I remember…where's your father?" Mom asked me.
"I dunno."
"Ryan! Where are you?!"
"Letting Sydney look at herself in the bathroom mirror! She loves it!"
I laugh as my mom smiles.
"Robbie loved that!"
"She does too!" Dad calls back.
"Anything to strengthen her up?" Mom turned back to me.
"Yeah, I'm supposed to allow her to rest against me and have a little freedom of movement."
"Cool, maybe you guys can watch TV or something together."
"Hopefully."
Then mom handed me a plate, sandwich on it and said "Chips are in the pantry. I'm gonna go check up on Sydney."
I grab the chips and settle down at the table. My parents join me a minute or two later, Mom holding Sydney in her lap.
I continue eating, but my parents notice how enraptured she is by me eating.
"Has she seen you eat before?" Mom asked.
"No, I always eat when she's sleeping." I reply.
"Well she's enjoying the show." Dad said.
I laugh, which makes Sydney's cheek twitch
"She's a happy girl Robbie, nice work."
"Thanks. I try."
"You're doing great honey. I'm sure your father is with me when I say she's welcome anytime. Especially to give you a break."
"And when you go back to work." Dad added on.
"Oh yeah, work. Haven't thought about that."
Haven't worked in awhile.
This hasn't exactly been a vacation.
Dad laughed and mom smiled as I polished off my plate and went to wash my plate.
But dad quickly took it from me.
"No, just wash your hands then go to the hospital." He said.
"But—"
"No." Mom said semi sternly.
I obeyed, and then took Sydney back and gathered up my stuff.
"Well it was great seeing you Robbie." Dad smiled, shaking my hand.
"Come over anytime sweetie." Mom smiled, then kissed Sydney.
Syd gurgled as Mom kissed me.
"I'll be back soon. She need to see her Grandparents!" I say, walking out of the door.
"Yeah!" Mom said, then waved.
It wasn't long before I had Sydney back into her seat, and I was softly playing some top 40 stuff as I wound my way back to Amhurst.
That was a resounding success.
Maybe it was because Mom and Dad have handled newborns before, but she loved both of them.
I have to use that when I start getting my life back to normal.
It's insane how things have changed in two weeks.
I was on the brink of leaving after Sydney was born.
Then she's born, and there is NO WAY I'm leaving her.
She's not mine, but she's mine.
If that makes sense.
My boxes were packed, and still are packed.
I could start moving tonight if I wanted to.
I need to call and cancel my place.
That's $2500 down the drain.
She's worth it.
I smile as I get her out of the car, and she is so cooperative, seeming like she has gotten used to the routine.
Her eyes are open most of the time as she rested against my shoulder.
I walk straight to the elevators, then hop off on the 6th floor, Cat's 1 day abode.
The hospital has a policy that patients cannot be released straight from the ICU.
Makes sense.
611.
I walk right to it and open the door.
Then I freeze.
Not again.
In front of my, cat and Cameron stop making out and jump apart.
"I…I'm sorry." I say quietly, feeling myself tense up.
Sydney squirmed on my shoulder.
"It's ok…Uhm..hi." Cat smiled as Cameron hopped up, coming for Sydney.
"Can I hold her?" he asked.
Cat beamed, as I processed my options.
I kissed her forehead then handed her to him.
She immediately began squirming.
"MMMMMHMMM!"
"Shhh…" Cat smiled at Cameron and her daughter.
"Uhh…what's the plan?" I asked nervously, wanting to get Sydney back immediately.
"Well, I was about to get processed and leave with Cammie and Sydney."
…
"That's cool. I guess I'll meet you later then." I say, already backing to the door.
Cat began saying something, Cameron wiped off my kiss and I make the split second decision to let the new family be.
Then blast Hard Rock all the way to downtown.
I end up at a park, hop out, slip an envelope into my inside pocket and start walking.
Leaving my phone in the glove compartment.
I need some space.
After following the trail for about 10 minutes or so, I sit down on a bench.
Jade printed out the letter and put it into the envelope.
I rip the top open with my key and pull out the papers.
2 pages.
Dear Robbie,
If you're looking at this, it's probably because something has happened and you found it on my computer. There are some things you need to know before you start acting on whatever is going.
My pregnancy was high risk from the beginning. I really wasn't supposed to get pregnant for a few years, the endocrinologist said I wasn't ready physically or hormonally. Stuff like me dying, or the baby not making it or even both. That high risk.
I know we've had our troubles and arguments and in fact I'm writing this right after you came back from hanging out with Andre. Most of them are my fault, and I know how stupid a lot of my decisions are. Jade is constantly riding me about how I'm not being fair to you.
I'm just trying to make sure you don't fold under this pressure. It's amazing, and it's like a albatross around my neck as I type this. That's why I got involved with Cameron. I love him, and I don't want this to hurt you in any way. You can leave at any time, and you have a right to.
But I want you to take care of Sydney if something happens to me.
You're the only one I trust to make sure that she'll have every bit of love and opportunity that she'd have if I was here. Beck and Jade are already getting ready for a family of their own, and Andre's living the dream that we all were supposed to be following.
Yeah, life got in the way, but you have managed to balance both. You're really good on stage Robbie. I know that you were just doing your job last time I saw you perform in New York. And I shouldn't be mad at you for that.
I'm sure you have some videos from the slap and stuff you can show Sydney once she grows a bit, and I have tons of pictures so she'll know what I look like.
Thank you so much for helping me during all this. Sorry I wasn't able to hold up my end of the bargain.
Cat
…
It's like her last wishes if she died.
But she's going home today.
And that wasn't even the biggest shocker.
Jade's pregnant?