A/N: Thanks, as always, to those of you who make the effort of leaving me a review. It means a lot!

***JIBBS***JIBBS***JIBBS***

Gibbs was in the basement, drinking more bourbon and sanding his latest project - a rocking chair for Julia, or rather for Jenny when she's holding her. Just looking at the piece and imagining his wife and daughter enjoying it was making him misty. He thought he heard a knock at the door, but he didn't care either way; he wasn't in the mood to deal with the team any more tonight. He was drunk, and he missed his wife. Terribly. And the thought that he could look that comfortable with another woman upset him. He went over to his work bench and poured himself another mason jar of bourbon. It was starting to numb his thoughts but not nearly enough to his liking.

Confusion overtook Gibbs when he thought he heard the upstairs door open, followed by someone disarming his alarm. He thought he heard Holly's voice say something about the basement and suddenly several sets of legs were headed down his stairs.

"What the hell is going on? How did you all get in my house?"

Ziva stepped forward, showing him her key. "I was asked to take care of you."

He reached forward and took it from her, examining it. "She's losing her key privileges."

Ziva laughed.

"Well, we are staying just in case you thought you could scare us away," insisted Abby.

Holly walked over to the workbench and replaced the cap on the bourbon. "I'm guessing you've had enough of this." Her eye briefly fell upon the plaque sitting off to the side. She noticed the delicate workmanship of it, realizing instantly that Jethro must have carved it himself. You were loved. She had no idea what it meant, but the personal nature of it made her feel a painful type of guilt for just having seen it. She wondered if perhaps it was for Kelly.

Gibbs saw her freeze at the sight of it and tried to hold in his anger. "Do you mind?" He pushed past her, picked up the plaque and gently placed it in a box up on the shelf. They shared a look for a moment before he slammed shut the box.

Suddenly Holly was thrown back to that night she accidentally listened to the tape that Shannon and Kelly had made for him - the night everything they'd had fell apart. "On second thought, maybe I'll have some bourbon."

His look softened and he nodded, emptying out another mason jar and pouring her a belt. Gibbs handed it to her. "Beers are upstairs, if you all want."

The team quickly headed upstairs to get their drinks, leaving Holly and Gibbs alone.

"I'm sorry about seeing that. Once again, I wasn't trying to pry."

His voice, when he found it, was rough and full of emotion. "Not your fault."

"If it's anything you need or want to talk about…"

"Then I can talk with my wife about it."

Holly cringed, realizing too late again that she crossed a line. "Of course. I'm… sorry. I'm going to head upstairs."

Gibbs scrubbed his hand down his face. "Sorry, Hol. I know you were only trying to help."

She nodded. "It's obviously something very raw for you. But it was beautiful, made with a lot of love. I'm sure whomever it was for would have appreciated it."

He nodded tightly. "Thanks." They both headed for the stairs. They looked around and found the others had gathered in the living room. His head starting to swirl from the alcohol, Gibbs quickly found a seat, tossing one of Julia's blankets gently onto the table out of the way.

"Tell me, Ziva, exactly when did my wife slip you her key?"

The Israeli smiled. "Right before she left, while you were playing with Julia."

"Remind me to make her pay for that, in case the alcohol causes me to forget."

Tony laughed. "I'm sure she sees it as retribution for sticking her with both Mike and Mary." Gibbs glared at him. "Totally not the same thing - I get it, Boss."

Holly, sitting in a chair near Gibbs, looked at him with confusion. "You really are a mess without her, aren't you? I'm still having a hard time reconciling this man in front of me with the Gibbs I used to know. Did falling in love really change you that much?"

The team froze, not sure how Gibbs was going to react. They didn't realize that while the two older adults were no longer lovers, the fact that they had been at one time allowed for a certain familiarity and openness in their conversation - a candidness none of the others in the room could share with their boss.

Still feeling the effects of the bourbon, Gibbs laughed. His attention was focused solely on Holly, forgetting the others were in the room. "Nah. If it had, I'd have been like this back in the late 90s."

Holly figured he made a good point. "If it wasn't falling in love, then what happened to change you?"

He looked at his jar of bourbon, swirling it around in front of his eyes. "Drowning in regret to the point I almost couldn't breathe," he said before drinking what was left in the glass. "Did you know that Jenny asked me to be on her detail in Los Angeles?"

Holly had no idea what he was talking about, but she saw the shock on the others' faces. "No, I didn't." She had never seen Jethro drunk and didn't realize it would loosen his tongue to the degree it seemed to be doing. But he seemed to need to get whatever it was haunting him off his chest. So she listened.

"Our friend and former agent William Decker had died. Jenny thought I'd want to pay my respects and since she needed to have protection, she asked me to go with her. She then said I could bring two more agents if I simply wanted to attend. What did I say?" he asked bitterly. "I turned her down."

Tony and Ziva looked at each other, surprised.

"I wanted nothing to do with her. I knew she was keeping secrets and damn it if I'd help her when she couldn't be straight with me."

She couldn't be certain, but it seemed to Holly he was no longer addressing her. Instead it seemed that he was talking, or rather yelling, at himself - full of recriminations for past decisions he couldn't change.

"So where was I when she was being hunted down and shot at like an animal by a team of Russian hit men?" His anger, as he spoke, was escalating. "I was connecting the dots, trying to prove she killed The Frog. Not that I was going to turn her in. I just wanted to be able to tell her I knew her secret. I wanted to get one over on her. That's what I was doing when she needed me the most," he yelled, throwing the jar angrily across the room, drawing a tiny bit of comfort from hearing it shatter.

The others in the room didn't move a muscle, practically holding their breath.

"So I call her, to let her know what I've found - that I know her secret now. Instead I hear she's dead. Jenny is dead. And my heart is ripped to pieces. Again," he said, his breathing intensifying. "All I can think about is finding her killer and wanting to die myself. And I would have, if it weren't for Mike showing up at the last second."

The four team members exchanged looks, overwhelmed by what they were hearing. Holly felt her heart practically beating out of her chest.

"All I knew was the pride I'd been holding onto, that had kept me from going to Jenny and telling her I forgave her and that I still loved her - had in fact ruined my life. I would never have the chance to look into her eyes, to touch her, to hold her again," he said, swallowing hard, his eyes filled with emotion. "Never would have the chance to tell her how she'd saved my life after losing Shannon and Kelly. So when I saw her on that plane, and suddenly all that had been taken from me was possible again… that second chance? How could I ever be the same after that?"

Holly stared into his eyes, unable to look away. "Of course you couldn't. I understand now," she whispered.

He sunk from the chair to the floor, leaning his head back against the seat and closing his eyes. He seemed incredibly vulnerable and it was hurting Holly to even look at him. She quietly walked over to Abby, who was still in shock. "Do what you do - go hug him. He needs for someone to hug him and we all know it can't be me."

Abby was frozen, unable to believe what she was seeing. "I… I…"

Not missing a beat, Ziva headed over to Gibbs and knelt down. She put an arm around him and watched as he allowed his head to lean down on her shoulder. "You are okay, Jenny is okay. You are together, everything is good," she said, allowing her own head to lean against his.

Ziva saw the disbelief on her coworkers' faces. She wondered if they still saw her more as a trained killer than a flesh and blood human being. They didn't know the bond she shared with Gibbs. She killed her own half brother, Ari, to save his life. He was there for her when she mourned her brother. She was there for him at the hospital and helped him get his memory back, which was an emotionally charged moment for them as well. The list went on and on in her mind. But for the most part, they didn't know. They didn't know he was like a father to her. She could take their stares. Gibbs needed someone and for right now, she would be that someone.

Abby and Tim cleaned up the broken glass as best they could.

When it looked like Gibbs was going to fall asleep, Tony and McGee helped move him to the couch. Abby stayed with him, curled up in a corner. The others claimed the big comfy chairs. No one really spoke about what happened before falling asleep. They were still trying to process what they had seen… and heard.

Several hours later, it was the crack of dawn and sunlight was just beginning to push through the curtains in the living room. His phone began to vibrate. Gibbs looked at it and answered, his eyes slowly focusing on the room he was in. He whispered, "Hey," as he got up and carefully walked towards their bedroom.

"Hey yourself," his wife said, in almost a chipper voice. "Why are you whispering?"

"Because I was in the middle of a slumber party of your making."

"What do you mean?"

He slipped into their bed, the phone at his ear. "You gave Ziva your key."

Jenny smiled. "Oh right. But they slept over? That's sweet, I guess," she said, a bit surprised. "I wasn't exactly expecting that. Did you have fun?"

"I have a killer hangover, what do you think?"

"I thought the point of them taking care of you was to keep you from drinking yourself into oblivion."

"Then they failed," he said, matter-of-factly.

"Jethro, are you okay?"

He leaned back and sighed. "I am now that I'm talking to you. It was an emotional night. Talked a lot about regrets."

Jenny sighed. "Same here. I think we may need to let that stuff go."

He nodded even though he couldn't see her. "I didn't realize how much it was still haunting me," he said, sitting up and leaning back against their headboard. "I think I scared them a bit."

"If you want, we can talk about it tomorrow, while we're safely holding each other."

He closed his eyes. "I can't wait until I'm safely holding you tonight. What time are you coming home?"

"Well, we're heading back at the tail end of rush hour so I have no idea how long it will take. But it's going to be pretty late, regardless. I'll keep you updated as we get closer."

"Good. Have you fed Julia?"

"Yes, right before I called you. She did two three-hour stretches overnight. I kept staring at the clock after two hours, thinking something was wrong so I didn't even get to enjoy the extra hour," she laughed.

He laughed with her. "It'll be better tonight."

"Everything will be better tonight. I can't wait."

"I love you, Jen. Have a great day."

"You too, Jethro. I love you."

Gibbs hung up the phone. He started piecing together the events of the night before and realized that he was not looking forward to facing the people sleeping in his living room.