There's one more chapter after this one, and then it's the sequel!
Sakura is sitting at a desk with twenty other children in a room in the Academy, and she is buzzing with excitement. She is practically vibrating, sitting on her hands to stop herself from bouncing up and down in her seat. Everyone here is at least a year older than her, but there's no real difference between them physically, so Sakura got away with slipping in the room and not drawing any attention.
Kagami had laughed when Sakura sat at her assigned seat. When asked why, Kagami had said: The boy sitting next to you… he was put on our team to spy on us. His name is Sai. He didn't go to the Academy in my time, which must mean he's here for you. His superior must know your weakness for orphans.
Unluckily for Sai's superiors, the other seat next to Sakura was soon filled by a different orphan. One who made Kagami sound winded when she said his name.
Lee.
He's a chubby-cheeked, earnest boy with a thick, black plait and bruised hands. He's sitting up straight in his chair, round eyes fixed on the teacher as he slowly ambles into the room.
You asked me to be nice to Lee, once, Sakura comments, carefully examining the cuts and scrapes on Lee's hands. They look like the result of hitting something over and over again. The skin of his hands looks tough.
And to be wary of Gaara, Kagami points out, but of course you'd focus more on the niceties. I asked you to be kind to Lee, because I always regretted how I treated him when we first met.
Sakura rests her head on her hands, glancing up at Lee's face. Their eyes meet, his cheeks instantly turning red, and –
("Let's go out together!" The weird-looking boy says, his grin sparkling and wide, "I'll protect you 'til I die!" Sakura can feel herself blanch, the hairs on the back of her neck rising. She risks a glance at Sasuke. Even he looks confused. The weird boy gives her a hopeful thumbs up. Sakura grimaces, "No way… you're lame." She doesn't feel guilty at the way he slumps, disappointed.)
Sakura gives him a big smile.
His entire face burns bright red. He looks away abruptly, fidgeting in his seat.
"Alright, class," The old man at the front of the room says, clapping his hands to get their attention, "It's time for introductions. Please stand up one at a time when I call your name, and introduce yourselves to the class with a fact about yourselves. I'm going to start on this side of the room."
There's a collective noise of annoyance from the class that's quickly muted by the teacher's gimlet eye sweeping over them all.
Lee immediately begins muttering under his breath, "My name is Rock Lee and I wish to be a splendid ninja. No – my name is Rock Lee and I will be a splendid ninja! I will prove my worth and – "
The ROOT plant, Sai, taps Sakura on the arm.
She looks him full in the face for the first time, and falls into a dream.
("Traitor!" Sakura snarls, grabbing Sai by his collar and hauling him towards her, "What are you up to? I knew you were planning something – "
"Ah, is that Sakura?"
Sakura abruptly lets go, fingers feeling weak and useless at the sound of that familiar dark drawl, her name once again in the mouth she used to crave.
She looks up slowly, eyes wide, hardly daring to believe it, and then –
There he is.)
Sakura blinks, aware that Sai is waving a hand in front of her face.
"Absent seizures are a serious symptom of epilepsy," He informs her, his tone utterly bare and matter-of-fact, "You should seek medical attention."
Sakura gently pushes his hand aside, "No, I'm alright. Sorry. Did you need something?"
Sai quite clearly attempts to look friendly, but his facial muscles don't want to respond, so he ends up just looking sleepy, "I wanted to ask your name."
ROOT plant, Kagami says, almost amused, I called it. Danzo must know about your inability to overlook an orphan.
Sakura draws in a breath to give her traditional introduction, but Kagami stops her.
Haruno isn't the name he wants to hear, Sacchan. Give him something harmless to report back to his superiors.
"Senju Sakura," She mutters in reply, feeling like the world's worst daughter.
But then at the same time, Tsunade would probably be quite pleased to hear her say it. And she'd used the name for her own benefit with the Kazekage. She should get used to doing it.
Sai gives her a big, fake smile. It looks unsettling with his dead eyes, no expression at all within their depths, "I'm Sai. Did you say Senju? Aren't they one of the old clans?"
Yes they are, as you well know, Kagami replies cheerily, it's almost sweet, seeing him in his element. And not a single di – ahem. Not a single joke.
The name Senju has lit a small wildfire of gossip all around them, as Sai must have known it would.
She hears someone whisper behind her, "Tsunade gave the couple her child to raise, but they were so terrible to her that she had to come back to finish the job herself!"
"I heard she was hospitalised and her parents didn't even visit her."
"That's because they're not her parents, obviously. Everyone knows that."
Ignore them, Kagami advises, they're spewing nonsense because it's the only way to entertain tiny minds.
Sakura forces her hands into her lap, trembling.
Ignore them, Kagami's voice rattles around her mind.
Senju Sakura.
Images of her parents' faces every time they thought she wasn't looking, the grey tinge of grief to their auras, the weary whispers they shared together.
Their relief when Tsunade made Tenzo the Clan Heir.
Their surprise when Sakura named her dogs Haruno, not Senju.
Tsunade's knowing face during the adoption, saying she's not trying to replace anyone. Her mother's gratitude.
They're not her parents, obviously.
Sakura faintly hears Lee's exuberant introduction, all the promises he makes about a future he doesn't know a thing about, certainty heavy in his voice despite having every reason to doubt.
And then, finally, the teacher's gaze falls on her, "And you, miss? Your name and a fact about yourself."
Sakura stands up, slamming her hands down on the desk. Every eye is on her, and she's angrier than she's been in a long time.
"My name is Haruno Sakura and my parents are Mebuki and Kizashi and they're the best people in the world!" She declares hotly, glaring around the classroom. Cracks form on the desk under her hands.
The teacher looks taken aback.
Furious whispers fill the room at once.
Sakura flops back down in her seat, still fuming.
She can feel Sai's assessing gaze. There's a faint scratch of a pen against paper – is he taking notes about her? She can't bring herself to care. Let all those horrible Masks know exactly who she is. She's growing up Haruno Sakura with her Senju family, and that's the end of it.
"Wow!" Lee whispers. When she turns to face him, he's beaming, his chubby cheeks bright red. "You are very passionate about your family, Sakura-san!"
Sakura smiles to herself.
Kagami draws her attention back to Sai with a mental tug. Sakura glances over, and sees him crouched over a sheet of paper, carefully drawing a side profile of her face, righteous in anger. He's inked a little halo around her head.
Sakura's eyes snap back to the front, afraid to get caught peeping.
"Ahem, well. That's – next! You, boy!" The teacher harrumphs, pointing at Sai, whose ink-black head is down, focused solely on his drawing.
Sakura gives him a gentle poke.
His head snaps up, eyes wary, though his guard lowers a little when he sees who touched him.
Sakura indicates the teacher with a barely-perceptible nod.
Sai's lips thin. He stands up and bows shortly. Sakura flushes, she forgot that step.
"My name is Sai. I like to draw," He says, then sits right back down, pen already in hand to continue.
The teacher frowns, but moves on without complaint.
"You. Boy. Excuse me, are we boring you?" The sensei says, his voice hardening with every word.
Sakura looks at the unlucky child to have caught his attention. It's Shikamaru, and he's fast asleep.
"BOY!" The old man thunders.
Shikamaru stretches. He opens one eye and yawns, "What?"
"Name. One fact about yourself. Now," The sensei snaps.
Shikamaru slowly pushes himself to his feet, taking an age to stand upright. He yawns again, stretching his arms over his head. A vein in the sensei's temple throbs ominously.
"I'm Nara Shikamaru. I like cloud-watching and monsters," He says drowsily, then slithers back down. It looks as though he's fallen right back asleep again. The teacher has a complex look on his face as if he's not sure whether he should be angry or impressed at his gall.
Shikamaru lets out a loud snore.
The teacher hurls a pen at his head with unerring precision.
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The day is spent mostly getting to know each other.
Sakura ignores all the whispering children who stare at her with wide eyes, doing her best not to let it get to her. She talks to Lee, listening to his passionate tales of youth and how important it is to protect the people you love. She watches Sai carefully for signs of growing malice, but he seems to be exactly as he appears – a blank-faced child who occasionally forgets to blink. Sakura can forgive him for that. Kagami can't forgive herself for not putting it together that Sai was ROOT before meeting him again as a child. She'd instinctively known Tenzo had a seal on his tongue because she'd seen it before. She just hadn't been able to remember where. She doesn't think that Sai would have a tongue seal already, but concedes that they don't know enough about Danzo to speculate.
At one point Sakura glances across the room and meets the eye of a pale boy with long, soft-looking hair, and is thrown into a dream.
(Hinata coughs, a wet, fractured sound. Sakura winces. Neji is still poised, a predator ready to collect its kill. Hinata pushes herself off the ground as Naruto roars in approval. It doesn't take long for Neji to put her back down again.)
Sai pokes her out of the dream, his pen lightly jabbing her arm. Sakura waves him off, trying to smile reassuringly. It's impossible to tell if he is convinced, since his face hardly ever moves at all. Lee doesn't seem to have noticed anything. He's happily scribbling something down.
Sakura narrows her eyes at the boy who will one day hurt Hinata.
Give him a break. He gets better, I promise. Naruto punches the privilege right out of him. And it turned out that he'd had a terrible childhood – which doesn't excuse anything, I know, but it really messed him up, Kagami says, sounding far away, as she often did while thinking deeply.
Naruto had a terrible childhood in your time and he was still the best, Sakura retorts.
Naruto is an impossible ideal to achieve and an unfair measuring stick to use against the average child, Kagami says wryly.
I don't see why, Sakura replies, watching Neji notice her glare, his own eyes narrowing in turn.
"Hi!" A girl suddenly bounces into view, right in front of Sakura's desk.
Sakura jumps in a little in her seat. This girl is a fizzing firework of excitement.
"…Hello," Sakura replies, her shyness returning to her all at once. She hasn't missed this feeling.
The girl beams. She has brown hair in two buns and a round, pleasant face.
"I'm Tenten! I heard you live with Tsunade-sama. Is that true? It can't be true! Is it?"
"Sometimes." Sakura says, blinking a little at the onslaught of words.
Tenten's head tilts cutely, "Sometimes?"
"It's a word meaning: not always," Sai interjects, giving Tenten a wide, insincere smile.
"On the weekends," Sakura clarifies after Kagami gives her the okay.
Tenten's smile becomes impossibly wide, "Really? Oh, wow! Tsunade-sama is my hero! I'm gonna be a medic, just like her!"
Kagami makes a strange noise, U-um. No. No you won't.
Sakura's face falls, she doesn't? But she wants to so badly…
Today's lesson, Kagami begins, not unkindly, you can work harder than anyone to achieve your dream and still not succeed.
Sakura opens her mouth to deliver the sad news, but then Lee bounces up off his seat and declares: "YES! Confidence is everything! There are no boundaries to success if you just believe!"
Sakura sees Neji's face twist bitterly.
"You think so too?" Tenten says eagerly. "That's great! Tsunade-sama is one of the greatest shinobi of all time – you don't think it's too big a goal for me to go for?"
Lee shakes his head emphatically, "There is no such thing! As long as your motivation matches your goal, you cannot fail!"
Tenten and Lee both start talking rapidly, clenching their fists and jumping up and down.
Well, we've just witnessed the start of a revolution, Kagami says, amused.
"You're wrong." A quiet voice says. Sakura starts violently, for a moment thinking someone just replied to Kagami, but then she looks up and sees Neji glaring daggers at Lee. "It's unrealistic to think you can do something just because you want to."
Lee's face immediately goes red. His voice shakes when he speaks up, "W-who cares about that? If you want something badly enough and you just do your best, it does not matter if it is not realistic. You can do it."
Neji looks almost pitying, "It's not enough. If fate calls you a loser, that's all you'll ever be. You've started off nowhere near the finish line. Other people from high birth and position started further up, and they'll reach their goal before you even get started."
"I-it does not matter if other people achieve their dreams before me, or if it is easier for them!" Lee insists, his eyes growing wet with emotion. "It is not about them! I am going to do this for me."
"Pointless." Neji comments, detaching his gaze from Lee and looking around the room as if searching for something more interesting.
Tears tremble on Lee's long lashes, his face screwed up in anger. Tenten pats him on the shoulder, worriedly looking between him and the other boy.
"You're the one who's wrong." Sakura says, digging her nails into the desk to stop herself from striking it. Neji turns slowly, raising an eyebrow. Sai's pen hovers over his paper. "There's no such thing as fate. I know that for a fact."
Neji rolls his eyes, starting to speak, but she cuts him off.
"I'm a Haruno. I don't have a special kekkei genkai and I don't come from a powerful clan – "
"You have the same prodigious healing abilities as your mother – "
"She's not my mother," Sakura says simply, "Not really. And she wasn't born with the ability to heal either. She had to work hard for it. She's not the only healer in the world, she's just the best. Hundreds of people worked hard to do the same thing she can – people from big families and no families, people with lots of money and no money. Oba-san might be a Senju, but her ward is almost as good as she is, and she's not from any big family at all."
"But she's not as good as Tsunade is," Neji points out, "Because she does not have the benefits of Senju blood."
"No, it's because she has less experience! Shizune's got decades to go before she can match the time Tsunade's spent training and practising healing. But she can do it! Who are you to say what's realistic? You don't even know what Lee-kun can do and you're saying he can't ever be a splendid ninja. I think you're just mean!"
Sakura slams her hands down for emphasis. The desk cracks, splintering to the floor in pieces.
The whole class stares at her, Neji included.
Sakura's cheeks are hot, but she presses on. Kagami proves that Sakura could achieve her dreams even without the Senju name, without extra chakra or dreams. Kagami had nothing but the belief that she could get better, and she did. It doesn't matter that Sakura had so many things handed to her. It doesn't.
"Being mean to other people won't make you feel better," She says, trying to keep her bottom lip from quivering, "And saying fate's the reason you can't achieve your dreams is just an excuse to keep you from trying at all."
Shikamaru sighs loudly. He had been sleeping with his head on the desk when it broke, and he looks very grumpy.
"She's right. Kind of," He says, shrugging when Neji switches his glare to him, "If a random person aspires to have the Sharingan when they don't have Uchiha blood, you'd say it's impossible, right?"
Neji nods, looking glad to be on firmer ground.
"But they could take someone else's and use it," Shikamaru says casually, as if discussing a particularly fluffy cloud, "Sure, some people are born lower than others and it's harder for them to get further than the people with all the advantages. But if they can take something from those who have more… they can make it a fair game. Put them on even ground."
Neji frowns, looking at the broken desk.
"It's pointless to whine about fate if you don't even try to change it," Shikamaru shrugs, leaning back in his chair. His head lolls as he sinks back into sleep without warning, effectively cutting off Neji's retort.
"If you're all quite finished discussing very basic philosophy," The teacher says dryly, "We can discuss the best ways to fix a cheap desk. See me after class, Haruno."
Sakura winces.
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"I'm very sorry about your table, sensei." Sakura says, unable to raise her eyes from the floor. She feels really bad. She promised her parents that she'd be good at school and this probably wasn't very good at all. "I'd buy you a new one but I ran out of the money my grandmother gave me."
"No, no," The old man waves it off, "That's not your problem. I can easily drag in a desk from another room, or fill in a few forms to requisition a new one. I simply wished to reassure you, since it is your first day here. I had only just started teaching when your mother attended the Academy, and she did the very same thing as you on her first day here."
Sakura's mouth opens in a little 'o' of surprise, "Really?" She can't imagine her mother breaking furniture. She doesn't even like when you put cups on tables without a coaster.
"Yes, she had quite the temper, and the same natural strength as yourself." The teacher smiles, reminiscing. Sakura's face falls. Oh. He's talking about Tsunade. "She smashed many a table, and many a fellow student, unfortunately! But do you know the truly special thing about Tsunade-sama's time at the Academy?"
"No, sir."
"She was only here for a year," The old man raised his impressively bushy brows, "She became a genin at six years old. I wonder… can you do the same, Sakura-chan?"
Sakura blinks.
Can I? She asks.
I mean, I can do it in a day, because I'm essentially a jounin, Kagami says reasonably, but you? It all depends on how hard you work.
"I'll try," Sakura says resolutely.
"Excellent," The teacher's eyes crinkle upwards, "Now, you have the dubious honour of pairing up with Nara Shikamaru for this week's assignment. I would like the two of you to examine a part of Konoha that you consider very important for the village at whole. You will receive bonus points for extra creativity!"
"We get to pick the part of Konoha to look at?" Sakura asks, thinking of the park. It's very important, because that's where she met Naruto.
"If it benefits the entire village, it's worth examining for your assignment." He clarifies.
You have a fifty/fifty chance of Shikamaru sleeping through this entire project, Kagami says fondly. Sakura remembers Shikamaru was one of the people Kagami lost just before she died. She remembers Team 10 with bittersweet affection.
"Can I draw a picture of the place?" Sakura asks.
The teacher's aura sparkles with mirth, "Of course."
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Naruto still plays in the park on his own sometimes, but not because he has to.
Today, Sakura is at school, so she's busy writing and figuring out sums, all the boring things Naruto hates doing. He doesn't mind not going with her, because Jiraiya's been showing him all these cool seals, which are basically doodles with chakra and they can make things go BANG. Naruto's going to be the best seal user in the whole village. He's already made plans for a seal that makes ramen, though Jiraiya said it would take a miracle to work. That's okay. He can work with miracles.
Tenzo is picking out guinea pigs with Shizune and his bodyguard lady. Naruto's not sure what a guinea pig is, but he's looking forward to finding out. He hopes they're huge.
Tamotsu is currently running around the park, a streak of crimson brushing through the green grass. He's the best. He's too heavy for Naruto to carry all the time, but he likes to snuggle in his lap and lick his face. Naruto's never had someone who likes him best out of everyone. Tamotsu doesn't want anyone else to walk him or bath him and he whines if Naruto leaves a room without him. Naruto is his favourite.
Tsunade is working at the hospital. She said she had a surgery scheduled with some guy called Hayate today. Naruto's not sure if she can do it, since she really doesn't like blood, and people are all full of it. If you open them up like a juice box, all the blood comes out. He hopes Tsunade doesn't get splashed. She seemed confident this morning, though, when she patted him on the head and said she'd see him tonight. She liked his crayon seals, especially the glittery snail one. It's really a slug, but Naruto didn't correct her.
Jiraiya said he had to talk to the Hokage and this time Naruto couldn't come with him. Naruto thought that was dumb and proved it by putting glitter in Jiraiya's hair. He has too much of it, so he never notices when there's stuff trapped inside or covering it. Naruto once made half of it red like Tamotsu, and it took Jiraiya a whole hour to notice.
Naruto doesn't mind being in the park on his own, because it's so rare these days. He's not used to how it feels anymore, and that feels really great, on top of the not-good feelings. He's got the Monsters most days, and a big sister and big brother, plus a mother and an auntie, and two weird old guys, and best of all, Kai.
Kai is probably one of Naruto's most favourite people. He can make fire dance in his hands, and his hair is almost like Naruto's but paler and shorter. He doesn't have any eyebrows and his teeth are like a shark's. He picks Naruto up whenever he wants and gives him piggybacks like Shisui did once. Kai once snapped his teeth at a mean old lady who called Naruto a freak and she looked like she was gonna pee her pants. Naruto laughed like it was funny, but he still cried a bit because it was so nice that someone cared when villagers were mean to him. Before it just felt normal, like they all had a good reason to say horrible things, because he was bad just like they said. Kai says that's wrong, that Naruto's the good one and they're all bad. Naruto likes holding Kai's hand when they walk down the street, because it's like having a dad, and everyone can see how much Kai likes him.
So, Naruto's not really alone at the park. Kai is standing close by, watching all the kids run around their parents. He looks scary with his arms folded and his invisible eyebrows all angry, so Naruto sticks his tongue out at him to make him laugh. He doesn't, but he does smile a little, which counts as a win for Naruto.
He can see the girl who got picked on before, Hinata. She's so small. She's standing behind an older guy who's talking with a bunch of other old guys. Naruto watches her slowly drift away. It doesn't look like any of the old guys notice her leave.
She approaches a group of kids, holding her hands up to her mouth and just peering at them with her big eyes. She's got such long sleeves, they're covering half of her body as she holds them up. She's standing a few feet away from the kids, not trying to talk to them or anything. Just watching them play. It reminds Naruto uncomfortably of how he used to be.
Kai doesn't say anything when Naruto edges towards the girl, but he can see him in the corner of his eye, slowly keeping pace with him.
Hinata's face flushes and she visibly shrinks back – the kids have noticed her staring at them, and they're shouting something.
Naruto speeds up.
"Oi!" He yells, barrelling in front of Hinata. "Get lost!"
He shakes his head at Kai when he moves to follow, like he's going to take on a bunch of ten year olds just because Naruto's involved.
The kids sneer back at Naruto. They're a lot bigger than him, "You get lost, freak!"
"Na-Naruto-kun," Hinata mumbles behind him, sounding faint.
"I'm gonna give you to the count of ten to buzz off!" Naruto warns them, using Tsunade's countdown tactic. It never fails to get them all downstairs in time for dinner.
The kids laugh like Naruto's told a really funny joke.
Naruto's jaw tightens, "Ten! Nine!"
Hinata is shaking behind him, deathly white. It makes Naruto even angrier. Yeah it's super weird to stare at people you don't know, but it doesn't mean you deserve to be yelled at.
The kids seem unbothered by Tsunade's countdown tactic, but Naruto never falters.
"Two! Okay… you asked for it! One!"
The kids stare blankly at him when nothing happens.
Naruto draws in a long breath, raising his head up high, then –
"ROAR!" He screams, right in their faces. They stagger back, startled, so he does it again and again until they run.
Naruto looks around to check if Kai was behind him and he was the one who scared them off. But no, there's nobody there but Hinata, who's looking up at him with big, watery eyes. Naruto beams at her. He really scared them all off on his own.
He's so happy that he keeps roaring, tipping his head up until he's roaring at the sky, then he flops back on the ground, laughing so hard he can barely breathe.
Kai gives him a thumbs up.
Hinata sits next to him gingerly, careful to keep her dress out of the dirt.
She doesn't say anything, just gives him a teeny-tiny smile in gratitude that makes his stomach flop.
Naruto looks up at her.
"Why didn't you wanna play with us before?" He asks, wondering if maybe she thought she was too good for them.
"E-everyone would have more fun without me," Hinata says, her voice small, "I don't want to ruin your games."
Naruto goggles at her, "That's so dumb, Hinata-chan!"
She turns purple, covering her face with her sleeves again.
"I already like you a lot!" Naruto decides. "You wouldn't ruin anything. And anyway, you need lots of friends 'cause you're always getting in trouble. Just like me!"
Hinata lowers her sleeves. Naruto's alarmed to see tears glittering in her eyes.
"R-really?" She says, her smile widening just a bit.
"Yeah! You're a troublemaker. You keep running away from that guy, right? Is he your dad?"
Hinata blinks, glancing over at the group of men in confusion, "Kou-san? No, he's… he's my bodyguard. I know it's weird," She adds in a quick mumble.
"No it's not! Look, I've got one too! Kai!" Naruto waves at his bodyguard, who immediately appears standing over him. "He's great because he can make fire and he never gets tired of carrying me."
Hinata smiles, but it looks wobbly, "I… I never see my father. He is always very busy and… I don't think he likes me."
Naruto sits up, already furious, "Then he stinks! Who needs a stinky guy like that, right? And you're a Monster now, which means you get to share all our parents. That's a rule we made. That means you get Sakura-nee's parents and they're awesome, and my Oba-san and Okaa-san, and even Sasuke's parents. They're not much fun though. They never have sweets."
Hinata's cheeks are a very pale pink, not like her usual alarmingly scarlet blush. She just looks kind of pretty.
"S-Sakura-san said I would be… really strong and cool someday," Hinata says hesitantly, "I don't want her to be disappointed if she finds out she's wrong…"
"If Sakura-nee said it, it must be true," Naruto shrugs, "She's never wrong. Once she said we'd get a dog, a treehouse and a real house, and we got all of that and more!"
Hinata gives a shy smile, daring to edge a little closer, "I liked your treehouse."
"Then you've gotta come over to play!" Naruto cheers.
"I…I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to get in the way of all your friends. I saw how alone you were, and it always made me feel very sad. I thought you deserved a lot of friends because you're always so cheerful and nice. I would be happy with just this, Naruto-kun. I… I don't have to be by your side to support you."
"Eh?! But I want you to be my friend. It's a good thing!"
Hinata hugs her knees, looking away from Naruto's confused face.
"F-for me… you are everything," She says absently, deep in thought.
Naruto flushes, face hot.
Hinata hurries to correct herself, "E-everything I want to be! I want to be strong like you!"
Naruto preens, "Hee hee! I'm gonna be the strongest in the whole village soon!"
Hinata shakes her head impatiently, "No, I mean I want to be able to smile no matter what. Even when people are mean and make fun of me, I want to be able to laugh and say it doesn't matter if they don't like me, because I like me. Just like you always say. I think you are the strongest person I know because of that. And you don't even have to be my friend. I'm happy just to be near you, Naruto-kun."
Naruto stares at her, astonished.
Tamotsu finally stops running around the park, coming back to flop down next to Naruto.
Hinata looks about five seconds from bolting, her whole body visibly shaking.
Naruto takes a deep breath and, not looking, seizes her hand.
Hinata squeaks.
"Even if you don't wanna play with all of us right now, I want you to," Naruto begins, very serious, "When you're ready, you can come over to my house whenever you want. We can eat ramen or play with the dogs. I don't want you to just watch from far away. M-maybe you don't need to be by my side to be happy, but I ne – um, I'd like you to be there. Sometimes. When you want to hang out. Okay?"
Kai gives him a discreet thumbs up.
Hinata's eyes well up with tears. She nods, her little hand finally squeezing Naruto's in return.
Naruto is also a bit teary. They don't look at each other, they just sit and hold hands until Hinata's bodyguard notices she's gone and freaks out.
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Sakura holds Tsunade's hand in the hospital. The same nice lady who gave her sweets is at the desk, and she waves shyly at her. Sakura's not holding Tsunade's hand for her own benefit. She can feel the faint tremble going through the older woman. They're going to work on Hayate today – or at least, Tsunade is, and Sakura's allowed to observe. Tsunade said she saw lots of examinations and surgeries when she was Sakura's age.
Sakura spots Kabuto down the corridor and gives him a slow, suspicious wave. She's fond of him, but it's hard to break the habit of assuming he's up to no good. The guileless smile he gives her in return helps.
Hayate is sitting on the bed when they enter the room. There's a purple-haired girl standing by the door, her chakra crackling with anxiety. She straightens up when Tsunade comes into view, but gives Sakura a bemused look.
"Good afternoon," Tsunade says, leading Sakura around the bed, "I'm Tsunade. I'm here to examine your lungs, and possibly schedule a surgery if necessary."
"Good afternoon, Tsunade-sama," Hayate says hoarsely. He wheezes thickly, "This is my partner, Yugao."
Yugao bows deeply, "Thank you very much for your time, Tsunade-sama."
Tsunade waves her gratitude away like an annoying gnat, "It's no trouble. This is my kid, Sakura. She's gonna take over from me one day – if she works hard enough, of course – so she needs experience. Do you mind her being here?"
"I can wait outside," Sakura pipes up.
"No, of course not," Hayate smiles, the dark circles under his eyes and his sweaty pallor somehow not detracting from his air of warmth.
"Alright then!" Tsunade claps her hands together. "I just need you to keep still and breathe when I tell you to. It shouldn't take too long to determine if any work needs doing."
"T-the doctors all said I'd need too much done, that my ability to breathe would be severely hindered," Hayate says, cautious hope sparking in his aura, "But, if you think…"
"Can't think much 'til I've examined you," Tsunade shrugs, "Sakura, observe the position of my hands and the amount of chakra I use."
Sakura nods, moving closer to the bed to peer up at Hayate. She's squirming with delight. This is something she'd wanted to happen for so long, she can't quite believe it's happening at all.
Tsunade places her hands on Hayate's back. They start to glow, very gently. Yugao shifts uneasily on the spot.
Tsunade closes her eyes.
Hayate is trembling.
"Breathe in," Tsunade says quietly, "Out. In. Out. Cough for me, please."
Hayate coughs, spluttering into a handkerchief, "I-I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama."
"For what, doing as I asked?" Tsunade says, amused. "Do you feel any pain?"
"A little."
"Hmm," Tsunade takes his wrist gingerly, feeling his pulse, "Does it hurt when you cough or when you breathe? Or both?"
"When I cough, Tsunade-sama."
The examination goes on for so long, even Sakura's concentration wanes. She's sure Tsunade's doing a lot of things more than once.
Finally she asks Hayate to lie on his front, his back exposed. Yugao comes closer to the bed, looking very worried.
Tsunade places a hand on either side of his shoulder blades, then slowly starts pushing healing chakra into his skin.
Sakura stands next to Yugao, smiling up at her when she looks down. Yugao manages a tiny smile in response.
Tsunade's chakra is beautiful. It's like sunshine on sand, glittering gold.
It seeps into Hayate's chest, filling his ribcage and washing through his lungs.
Sakura stands by Yugao for a very long time, radiating calm and peace to keep her from crying.
Finally, Tsunade unfolds from her bent-over position, a tiny smile on her face.
Hayate remains lying down, taking a few, disbelieving breaths.
"No surgery needed," Tsunade says triumphantly, "I removed the blockages and the scarred tissue. I destroyed the excess with my chakra, and I found no sign that the illness will return. I'd like you to keep coming by for check-ups biweekly until you're fully signed off."
Hayate turns over, his expression painfully confused, "But… it's a chronic illness, it… it will never go away. It can't just be healed."
"With respect," Tsunade says lightly, "It can't be healed… by anyone else."
Hayate's face crumples, "It's gone? For good?"
Tsunade smiles brightly, "All gone. I doubt it will make a comeback, but if it does, I'll simply remove it again."
Tears spill down Hayate's face.
Yugao throws her arms around him, "Oh, thank you! Thank you so much, Tsunade-sama!"
"Thank you," Hayate cries, clutching Yugao, "You've given me back my life."
Tsunade shakes her head, still smiling, "Yeah, well. Just don't throw it away doing something foolish on a mission, okay? Because I'm sure you're about to be bumped up to full-time status on the mission roster."
Hayate laughs, sniffing.
Yugao insists on hugging Tsunade twice, and throws Sakura up in the air, laughing in joy.
When they leave, Tsunade's hand steady in Sakura's, she looks up at the older woman and says, very seriously, "I want to do this for the rest of my life, Oba-san."
Tsunade ruffles her hair, "Then work hard, kiddo."
Tsunade's good mood lasts as long as it takes for them to walk home, just in time to see Airi unload a dozen guinea pigs into a Mokuton-built hutch.
"H-How many?" Tsunade splutters.
Airi just smiles innocently at Tsunade's frothing indignation.
xxxxxxxx
To Sakura's surprise, Shikamaru is the one to suggest their topic for the assignment. He insisted that the Nara Forest is very important to Konoha because it's where all the deer live, and their antlers have healing properties that are used in a lot of Konoha's medicine. Then he spoiled it by saying it was also really close to his house and that way, he wouldn't have to walk that far.
Sakura brought all her best crayons and a little art pad. She's been drawing trees all afternoon, but they've yet to see a deer. She's excited.
"Your hair's growing flowers." Shikamaru comments absently.
"Wh-what – no it's not!" Sakura says, aghast, trying to cover her hair with her hands.
"Yeah, it is. It's not a big deal. Chouji's got red swirls on his cheeks, Naruto's got those whiskers… and you've got flowers. So what?" Shikamaru yawns, his chakra as unbothered as he looks, a still river without ripples.
Sakura slowly takes her hand away. There's petals in her palm. Oh dear. Oba-san's not going to be happy about this.
Kitagawa is high in the trees, following overhead.
"What do you have, Shikamaru-kun?" She inquires.
Shikamaru thinks about it. "A big head," He says finally, "it has to be big, otherwise it couldn't fit my brain."
"Oh," Sakura nods. That makes sense.
Shikamaru promised he knew exactly where the deer would be, but time passes by and no deer emerge from the trees, and Shikamaru's aura gets an edge of tension.
"Something's not right," He says eventually, stopping to peer at the ground, "The deer ran away from something."
Sakura blinks, bending down to examine the dirt path. She sees a lot of scrapes and grooves on the ground, but she doesn't know what they mean.
She stands up, turning to reply to Shikamaru.
But he's gone.
The world around her is hazily beautiful, perfect birdsong trilling from above, jewel-bright grass dotted with flowers at her feet. There's a sense of peace resting over the forest. It settles her nerves even as she looks around for her friend.
"Shikamaru-kun?" She calls.
There's no reply, but the glimpses of fluffy white clouds over her head seem to form an answer. Of course. Shikamaru must be cloud-watching somewhere. There's nothing to worry about.
For the first time in a while, Sakura's mind is quiet. There are no images of destruction or death, no burdens weighing down her shoulders, or bitter words biting into her heart. She feels light as a feather, as if she could drift on the wind without a care.
It's nice.
She wants to jump and sing nonsense words. She wants to splash in puddles and read brand-new books she knows she'll love. She wants to sit back and let the world move without worrying what might happen if she's not paying attention.
She wants to be five.
Sakura tucks her hair behind her ears. Petals come off in her hand. She looks at them, white and perfect in the centre of her palm. She can't feel Kitagawa's chakra. Kagami is gone.
"This isn't real," She says very quietly, and gently closes her fist around the petals.
"It could be, if you want. If you come with me," Izanagi replies.
He's standing in front of her.
Sakura takes one, deliberate step back.
"No thank you," She says, fighting to keep her voice steady, "Where's my friend? And where's Kit-kun?"
"Safe. Out of harm's way."
"Not... not like me. Right? When I'm with you, I'm not safe."
"Not like you're safe with Uchiha Shisui, I suppose," Izanagi says, a touch of dryness in his voice.
Sakura narrows her eyes. Something clicks in her mind and she takes a step forward, raising her fists.
"It was you." She says, anger suffusing her words. Izanagi's head tilts, his eerie festival mask swivelling with the movement. "You made Shisui hurt me."
Shisui would never have done it on his own.
Izanagi says nothing. Sakura gets a strong sense that she's surprised him. His limbs loosen up, his figure losing its stiffness. He moves forward with the rolling gait of a predator.
"Made?" He says, his voice soft. "No, not made. I never made him do anything. I gave him a choice with many options, but told him only two. I asked if he would pick you or his clan. You already know what his decision was."
"Ha!" Sakura huffs out. "Is that supposed to make me feel sad? I'd never ask Shisui to pick between me and his family! You can't compare the people you care about, love is not a competition!"
"If it was… you lost. He broke through your mind at my request. I imagine it hurt very much. The invasion and the betrayal."
"I've had worse." Sakura says defiantly.
Izanagi draws back. Then he laughs quietly, setting the hairs on the back of her neck on end. "Yes, I suppose you have."
Izanagi crouches down in front of her, leaves crunching beneath his weight. It's somehow a surprise that he has a physical presence at all. She's always thought of him as like a ghost, a shadow, or one of the monsters under her bed. Intangible, just barely passing through the world.
"There's something in your head, Sakura-chan." Izanagi says, touching her forehead gently. He slowly begins to apply pressure, as if trying to bore through her skull. "We both know it. But the last time I was in here…"
Izanagi leans in closer, moving his hand away so the blank holes of his mask can meet her eyes, "All I heard was screaming."
Sakura tries to jerk her head away, but his hand shoots forward, curling around the back of her neck. Her head locks in place.
"And then I was forced out of your mind. It confirmed a theory I had about you. Somehow, you're the same as the last time I killed you," Izanagi says, something stirring in his otherwise monotone voice.
Sakura can't take her eyes off his mask, certain that if she does, he'll lunge at her.
"B-but…" She can't finish her sentence, let alone the thought. The last time I killed you. It's not possible.
Izanagi hums contemplatively, "But you're still different. I listened while you confessed to Uchiha Shisui, I heard all about your dreams and your ability to sense emotion from chakra. Before that, I thought you were an ordinary child – the same as before. Shy, quiet. Easily led. You only turned out to be one of those things. You told a boy you barely knew your biggest secret. I wondered what you might tell me."
"Y-you showed me your hell magic," Sakura says, hesitant, "And you were going to teach me genjutsu."
"That's all it took to lower your defences." Izanagi shakes his head, leaning back on his haunches. Sakura breathes out shakily, grateful to get some space between them. "Genjutsu would be useless against Shisui. Why would I teach you that? I only wanted an excuse to get into your head."
"Why… why would I fight Shisui?"
"Why did he take you away from the person looking after you, physically carry you to an obscure location only he and his family knew of, blindfold you and then take you into a place you could not leave without his aid?" Izanagi asks in return.
Sakura blinks rapidly, digging her nails into her palms, "He wanted to talk to me."
"He wanted to force you to tell him your secrets. You wouldn't have told him if you felt safe, secure, if you could leave at any moment. Don't feel betrayed. He's a shinobi. It's what we do. Since you obviously didn't care what his agenda was, I decided to test him on your behalf. I suppose that makes me sound benevolent… it's more likely I was curious. So, I transformed into Shisui and entered your bedroom. I wanted to see how difficult it would be for Uchiha Shisui to spirit you away into the night."
Sakura tugs at her sleeves, shifting on the spot. She knows the answer, and she's ashamed of it.
"I wasn't surprised by how easy it was," Izanagi says, taking a breath to continue speaking.
"You… you were surprised!" Sakura interjects. "I made you stop. I recognised you!"
"Hmm, my mistake. You felt my chakra, I assume? But what would have happened if your bodyguard hadn't interrupted? Would you have tried to fight? Screamed? Done everything you could to escape? Or would you have allowed me to take you?"
"If you'd come as yourself, I would have gone with you anyway," Sakura tells him quietly, "I wouldn't do that anymore."
A silence, a tinge of regret in his aura. "Good."
Sakura swallows, a single question aching to emerge from her throat. She's so scared of what might happen if she lets it.
"Are you going to kill me?"
Izanagi breathes out harshly, a sigh escaping all at once. He releases the back of her neck and stands up in a single, jerking motion.
"No. Not yet," He says tonelessly.
Sakura can't help the whimper she makes, but she covers her mouth all the same, eyes wide.
Izanagi stands still, regarding her in silence.
Then he chuckles, mirth colouring his voice when he says, "I just want to see what you'll do next."
"Why do you want me to go with you?" Sakura asks, finding the strength from somewhere to glare up at him.
"Hmm… as it happens, I'd prefer it if you came along later in life. I've no interest in caring for a child. But as long as you come willingly, I won't have to deal with a captive. It's easier if I know you won't run away."
"I… I'm not going!" Sakura says.
"I could force you to travel with me by your own volition. Do you remember what you said to me when we first met? I know everyone you care about. Your parents, your grandmother, your two best friends, Naruto and Ino, and the rest of your friends, Shikamaru, Chouji, Sasuke, Kakashi, Genma, Itachi… and Shisui."
Sakura lets out a tiny gasp without meaning to, eyes wide.
"I imagine I would only have to hurt one of them before you changed your mind," Izanagi says.
Sakura shrinks back.
"Please don't," She says quietly.
"I won't if I find what I'm looking for today," Izanagi says.
He grabs her arms, lifting her up into the air.
Onee-chan! Sakura thinks desperately, but the world around her is still hazy and her mind is clouded. She can't even sense her sister, let alone contact her.
Izanagi makes eye contact, but her brain won't register what his eyes look like. She stares back, helpless.
"You can thank your friend Shisui for giving me this backdoor into your mind," Izanagi whispers.
There's a flash of midnight blue chakra and the sound of shattering glass, then Izanagi lets go.
He staggers back, clutching his head.
Sakura gasps. She didn't hit the ground when she fell.
Onee-chan – what –
Kagami reappears in her mind, radiating confusion, I didn't get the chance to do anything.
Sakura looks up.
Shisui is holding her tightly, gripping her against his chest.
"Shisui!" Sakura cries out.
Izanagi stares, one hand over his mask.
Shisui grins down at Sakura, "Hey, Firefly. I'm not too late, am I?"
Hello, friends!
Remember when I said this was the last chapter? Remember how I'm a BIG DUMB DUMMY and I'm TERRIBLE at estimating chapter lengths? Let's just say this was going to be about 15,000 words long before I cut it off, deciding to make this the penultimate chapter rather than the last. I'M SO DUMB.
Someone break into my house and staple a cushion to my face the next time I say 'the next chapter is definitely the last.'
That being said. The next chapter is definitely the last. No takebacks!
(thank you so much to all of you who comment on every single chapter, it really makes my day!)
I didn't update TFLA for about two months, I think, and I actually got withdrawals. Whoops. Have an almost 2000 words longer chapter instead!
I've been super busy this month with Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month, look it up!). I've written about 25,000 words in the past ten days, somebody stop me. I'm working on a novel about gay witches. Because why not, right?
TFLA's sequel is tentatively titled The More it Takes Away, but if you guys have any suggestions, I'm all up for hearing them! :D
Btw guys, I have no idea why so many of you assumed my joke about rickrolling meant that I was going to replace the Dogwatch Pupdates with lyrics from the song Never Gonna Give You Up. I actually had to delete the joke because I was tired of getting comments asking me not to do something I never even joked about doing?
Here's a few of my other fics you can read while you wait for the last chapter (and the sequel!)
Of Rabbits and Tigers is a sidefic that's based off of TFLA, it's Usagi-centric and it's about his life before being recruited by Tora. The only pairings are Usagi/Tora and unrequited Usagi/Kakashi.
I Knew A Girl With Copper Veins is a Tenten-centric fix-it fic in which Tenten finds a scrying scroll that does far more than it's supposed to, including showing her visions of the future. The one she finds the most compelling is the tragic Hyuuga who dies with a smile on his face – can she change his fate, even without knowing who he is? (The main pairing is NejiTen, but there's also SaiIno, KarinSaku, NaruHina, GaaLee, ShikaTema, KakaGai, and possibly more… like ShinoSasu)
On Lightning's Wing, A Petal Learns to Sting is a Sakura-centric fic in which she manages to persuade Sasuke to let her come with him when he leaves Konoha. It's an Oto-based story in which Sakura does her best to get stronger and keep Sasuke on the path of light, but also learns her value isn't based on Sasuke's approval. (Main pairing is SasuSaku, but a healthier, more equal dynamic version of SasuSaku)
A Lost Corner of a Once Young Forest is a Minato-centric time travel fic in which Team Minato end up in Naruto's time, and they all learn exactly what happened after their deaths (except Kakashi, who finds out who he became without the team he's only recently learned to value). Team Minato and Team Seven develop together. (The main pairing is Minato/Zabuza, and the side pairings are: SakuRin, adult!Kakashi/Gai, young!Kakashi/Obito, and possibly more as the story goes on)
Quick poll for fun: Can you tell me an interesting fact about yourself? (Or uninteresting. I don't mind. And yeah, I've asked this before but tbh I loved hearing it all and I want to know more!)
(Dogwatch Pupdate: One Big Red Boy dominated the park today! He ran so much! He sniffed so many butts! He nearly peed on a big tree but was too intimidated! But still! A Good Boy!)