AUTHOR'S NOTE: FYI, this chapter takes place about two months from where we last left off.
Sections in italics indicate conversations/events that took place in the past. I hope it's not too confusing!
Warning: Lots of angst/flangst. Lots of very inappropriate Niles and Forde.
(Chapter title inspired by the song "Anyone's Ghost" by Silver Swans, which is a cover of a song originally by The National.)
Chapter 37 - Ghost
Leo looked at the ledger before him, diligently recording the amount of food that had been imported from Hoshido into Nohr over the last week. It was by no means an exciting task, and yet, it was an essential one in order to ensure that his people were being sufficiently fed.
60,000 pounds of potatoes, he penned, frowning at the figure. Hoshido's harvests were bountiful, and Ryoma was certainly generous in the amount of aid he was providing, but it was difficult for Leo to believe that this arrangement was truly sustainable. His ultimate goal was to find a way to make Nohr a self-sufficient kingdom - that is, without returning to methods of conquest - but it was arrogant for him to think he could solve a problem that no one else had ever been able to. The majority of Nohrian soil was rough and unforgiving, and even though Leo's research had shown that certain crops could still thrive in such conditions, there was also the issue of very limited sunlight…
Sighing, Leo rested his head on his hand for a moment.
At least Hoshidan assistance had improved the Nohrian people's opinion of the kingdom - well, somewhat. Decades of hostility couldn't be resolved so quickly, but it went against the survival-based tendencies of human nature to want to bite the hand that (literally) feeds you. There weren't many in Nohr who had come to actually like Hoshidan involvement in Nohrian affairs, but there was at least a growing sense of begrudging acceptance.
Truthfully, it would have been an opportune time to hold a wedding between himself and Sakura, thereby publicly solidifying the peace between the two kingdoms, if only…
Leo found himself gripping his pen tightly - too tightly - as his thoughts drifted to Sakura, which they often tended to do. His free hand then instinctively found its way to the chain hidden beneath his shirt, the chain that held his wedding ring while his marriage still remained a secret. And soon enough, like clockwork, the usual myriad of emotions started to course through him…
Love. Longing. Need. Sadness.
… Anger.
The sound of the door bursting open made Leo jolt, pulling him from his melancholy, but also filling him with annoyance as he watched Forde stroll carelessly into the room.
"How many times must I tell you to knock?" Leo snapped in annoyance, but as always, Forde was unphased by the scolding.
"Well, good evening to you too, King Leo!" Forde beamed, bowing while adding some extra flourish with his left hand. "Hmm… as much as I enjoy your royal crankiness, I hope you weren't this unpleasant with the delegation from Cheve earlier? A Chevois rebellion would be the last thing we need right now, you know… "
"I'm not a child, Forde," Leo muttered, dipping his pen back in its inkwell in order to continue writing in the ledger. "I know what's at stake."
While Forde's pestering irked him, Leo couldn't blame the man for his apprehension. After all, there was a small - but vocal - minority of the Nohrian population who were seeking to unseat the Nohrian royal family from power altogether. After Garon's rule, Leo couldn't really blame them for their distrust of his family. Besides, some of Leo's policies in the short time that he'd been king had been quite unpopular, only adding fuel to the fire - such as, for example, forging close ties with Hoshido, as well as succeeding a part of Nohrian territory over to Corrin in order to form New Valla.
As of now, the dissenters didn't have much ground to stand on, and weren't a true threat. But, to give them an ally such as Cheve…
"I assured the Chevois delegation that there's a plan in place for the region's peaceful succession from Nohr," Leo continued - yet another unpopular policy. "… Once things become more stable in the kingdom, that is."
"Let's hope they were appeased," Forde sighed. "I would really prefer to avoid another war at the moment. Is it too much for a guy to ask to be able to get some rest and relaxation around here?"
"Not to worry," Leo promised as he smirked, dipping his pen in ink once more. "I was completely gracious with them."
"Hmm…" Forde mumbled, frowning.
Leo mirrored Forde's expression. "What? What is it?"
"Well, it's just that… graciousness is your most disheartening manner, you know…"
Leo glared at Forde, but it was clear from the glint in his retainer's eyes that the man was just purposefully trying to have fun at his expense. Sighing deeply, Leo wondered what he'd even been thinking, making Forde his retainer in the first place.
Presently, he attributed that decision to the emotional duress he'd been under at the time. After all, Odin had just left Nohr to return to his home world, Ylisse, and losing his friend and retainer had been… painful. Even though Leo understood more than anyone why Odin needed to go, having been in a similar position himself in Magvel once before, that didn't make their parting any easier to bear.
… Neither did Odin's hours and hours of wailing as they'd said their goodbyes.
But with Sakura in Hoshido, Corrin in New Valla, Odin in Ylisse, Camilla acting more and more withdrawn, and Xander… Xander…
It just seemed like Leo kept losing or drifting away from the people he cared about most, and after Odin's departure, he'd felt more alone than ever.
At least Elise was a true breath of fresh air whenever he needed some companionship, but she wasn't exactly a sounding board for the trials that he was facing as a king. And although Leo had been forced to appoint an advisor from the Nohrian nobility - a rather serious man named Zath - that had been an appointment of appeasement, not one of trust.
That left Niles as his only remaining confidant. Yet, soon after returning to Nohr, Leo had been walking the halls of Krakenburg when he saw Niles and Forde kissing - well, that was putting it lightly. He was about to scold them to just get a room, when Forde began to speak…
"So, what do you say, then?" Forde asked between kisses, his words breathless and hurried. "With this war over, we can actually try to start a life together… will you come to Magvel with me?"
Leo tensed, ducking behind a corner to listen in on their conversation.
"Mmm… I'd prefer to just 'come' with you right here," Niles purred, and Leo scrunched his face at the distasteful pun. "There's no need to go all the way to Magvel for that. Besides, I thought we already talked about this, and you decided to stay here…"
The sounds of more kissing followed.
"No, my pet," Forde countered, and Leo rolled his eyes at the nickname, embarrassed to even imagine calling Sakura something like that. "We never end up finishing these discussions, because we always get… distracted."
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'd enjoy a little 'distraction' right about now…"
Leo paled as he heard the sound of a belt buckle being undone. Dear gods! Was their conversation over already? Should… should he go?
"Niles…" Forde chided. "I'm being seri- ohh. N-Niles! Mmm… wait. Stop! Stop… I mean it."
There was a long pause. "Forde…"
"As much as I want to, we can't keep avoiding this," Forde insisted. "Were I able to spend the rest of my life 'distracted' with you… well, I'd be a happy man. Very happy. But by now, I've been in your world for almost a week, which means that nearly a year has passed in mine. My brother, Franz… I can't abandon him forever. And yet, I… I can't lose you either. So, please, just come with me."
There was another long silence, although this time it was an uncomfortable one.
"Forde," Niles began. "I need you to know that I… I never expected that I'd be able to feel this way about anyone, especially so quickly, and I feel weak even saying this out loud, but… I really care for you."
"Niles…" Forde breathed, and Leo could soon hear the sounds of kissing resume. "I feel the same way. I've been dying to tell you, but I thought that you might… well, laugh in my face and tell me that this was just a fling for you."
"Forde… I… thank you," Niles returned, and Leo could hear the awe in his voice. "And no, this isn't just a fling for me. Maybe it started out that way, but I can assure you… I am extraordinarily smitten."
"So, you'll come with me, then?" Forde asked. "To Magvel?"
There was a long silence, and Leo braced himself for the pain he knew was coming.
"… No."
What?!
"What?!" Forde cried out, matching Leo's bewilderment.
"To know that someone could care about me in this way… you've given me the greatest gift that I could ever receive," Niles started. "But I wouldn't even be a position to receive such a gift had it not been for Lord Leo. Not only did he spare my life, but he was also the only one to place his trust in me… a trust that I could never betray. It was Lord Leo who gave me purpose when I had nothing else to live for, and I vowed to myself then that I would never leave him - that I would protect him to the very end. And I intend to keep that vow, even if it means… even if it means that we…"
Leo closed his eyes.
Niles…
He then walked away, quietly so that the pair wouldn't know he'd been listening, in order to allow them to finish their heartbreaking conversation in private. Leo had no idea that Niles felt that way about him, that his loyalty ran so deep - to sacrifice a chance at love and happiness just to continue to serve him.
But he couldn't let that happen. He'd apparently given Niles purpose once before, and he'd find a way to do it again. Somehow, someway, he had to fix this.
Two days later, he called Forde into his study to talk, his fingers drumming against his desk as the man entered the room and closed the door.
"Ah… so this is your mysterious study, then," Forde noted, his words light and carefree, but Leo could hear the uncharacteristic strain in his voice. "I just love what you've done with the place… but can I make a friendly suggestion? I think it needs more books."
Forde was obviously being facetious - Leo's study already looked like a library as it was.
Leo offered him a smile.
"I wanted to let you know that I received your request to return to Magvel. Lilith should be arriving here from New Valla tomorrow to send you back."
"Ah… thank you," Forde said, and Leo watched his shoulders sag slightly. The notion of leaving Niles behind was clearly very painful for him.
"No… thank you," Leo corrected. "You risked your life to help me find Sakura and defeat Anankos… and I'll never forget that, Forde. Even though we don't always see eye-to-eye, you've become a true friend to me. And that's not something I say lightly."
"Aww… are you really getting all sentimental on me, Leo?" Forde asked, his eyes glinting despite himself. "I never thought I'd live to see the day!"
"Actually, it's more than that," Leo continued, ignoring Forde's dramatics. "In fact, I want to make you a proposition…"
"A proposition?" Forde repeated, his expression suddenly turning impish. "My, my, Leo… I never even knew that you… swung that way…"
For a moment Leo just furrowed his brow in confusion, but once he realized what Forde was implying…
"Not that kind of proposition, you imbecile," Leo snapped. But by Forde's proceeding laugh, the man knew very well what Leo had meant, and was only trying to needle him.
Gods, what was he doing? Was making Forde his retainer and subjecting himself to a lifetime of this heckling really wise? Forde was a good man, but he was also much more tolerable at a distance… like, say, all the way in Magvel, perhaps.
Think of Niles… think of Niles…
Leo sighed.
"Actually, I want to speak to you of something serious. Now that Odin has left Nohr, I have a pressing need for another retainer, and I was hoping that you might consider filling the position. After all, I'll be crowned soon, and it wouldn't do for the king of Nohr to have only one retainer."
The complete and utter shock on Forde's face almost made all of this worth it… almost.
"Leo, I… I'm deeply honored by the offer," Forde said, surprising Leo with a respectful bow. "However… I'm afraid that I must decline. As much as I want to stay here, the thought of never seeing my brother or Ephraim ever again is…"
Forde then let out a slight laugh, shaking his head.
"You know, it's ironic, really, considering that I came here in the first place because I thought they didn't need me. But somewhere along the way, I guess I realized how much I need them. That's the funny thing about family, I guess."
Ah, yes, family… like a wife who was currently living in another kingdom, or a brother who was…
"About that," Leo began. "If that's your only reason for declining my offer, then I beg you to reconsider. After all, I just made an arrangement with Corrin and Lilith, and Lilith agreed to remain in Nohr for the foreseeable future. As my retainer, you'd be welcome to have her create a portal to Magvel whenever you wish, as long as you're not on duty. Supposing you went there on a weekly basis, then only a year would pass between each of your visits - although you could even go more often, if you'd like. And due to the passage of time being much slower in Nohr, you could spend weeks at a time there with it only being a matter of hours passing here."
"Leo…" Forde breathed, but Leo held up his hand to silence the man.
"Now, I realize that being a retainer to the king of Nohr would only be a lateral move for you, considering that you held equal standing with Ephraim in Renais," he continued. "And I'll level with you… life in Renais would be much easier than life in Nohr. However, as my retainer, you'd have the opportunity to work very closely with Niles. It's my understanding that the two of you are… attached?"
Forde just stood there blinking at him for quite some time, and Leo couldn't help but smirk.
"Well, if you need some time to think it over, then-"
"No! No, my lord," Forde said, kneeling in front of him and bowing his head. "I… I gladly accept the position, and I vow to protect you with my life. And I… thank you for this, Leo. Thank you…"
Leo was almost taken aback when Forde started to tear up.
"Very well, then. You may rise," Leo commanded, somewhat awkwardly.
Forde complied, but surprised Leo when he walked over to where he was sitting and enveloped him in a crushing hug.
"Forde! Get off of me!" Leo scolded.
"Ah, come on now… don't act like you don't like it," Forde teased, although thankfully, the man finally obeyed and released him. "You pretend to be all tough with that frosty exterior of yours, but I know that you're all just fuzz and butterflies on the inside."
"Congratulations… you made me regret this decision in record time," Leo snapped, but Forde only winked at him.
"And what about you, Leo?"
"… Huh?"
"When will you be visiting Magvel?" Forde pressed. "King Ephraim badly wants to see you, you know."
Ephraim… Leo closed his eyes as a wave of longing washed over him. How he missed his friend…
"When I last saw Ephraim, he told me that he expected me to return with Sakura… and I intend to uphold those terms," Leo explained. "In the meantime, when you see him, please be sure to tell him that… that I…"
"Of course," Forde said, kindly sparing him from voicing such uncomfortable words. "And I'll be sure to tell our Queen Consort how much you miss her as well… how you long for nothing but the chance to behold her marvelous beauty once more!"
"… I'll kill you, Forde," Leo growled, but Forde's annoying grin only widened.
Leo sighed as his thoughts came back to the present. He still hadn't returned to Magvel to see Ephraim and the others, even though two months had passed since his conversation with Forde, and Ephraim would be nearly a decade older than when he'd last seen him… because Sakura had yet to return to him.
Sakura… gods, it pained him to think of how strained their relationship had become. Truthfully, the fact that they'd even become so estranged had surprised him. When he'd left her that day in Hoshido, he'd expected that they would write each other constantly, with each letter comprised of countless words describing how much they loved and missed each other.
… Instead, he'd received only three very brief letters from her thus far.
He'd tried when penning his own letters to prod her into conversation by asking her a multitude of questions, but despite his efforts, her words contained no anecdotes about her siblings, no thoughts of current events, and in many ways her letters seemed to be lacking any… vibrancy.
Perhaps she was just busy - Leo knew that she was working hard to provide aid to the children in Notre Sagesse, after all - but being so far away from her, he could only speculate.
Still, as short as her letters were, she'd always ended them in the same way - I love you, Leo. And it was those words that had repeatedly managed to soothe him, giving him strength in the face of having to rule an obstinate kingdom.
Until one day, he noticed that it had been a while since he'd received her last letter - in fact, he realized that they'd stopped coming entirely. At first he worried that something might have happened to her, but logically, he knew that wasn't the case. Ryoma would have sent him a messenger to inform him if something was wrong, surely. Yet even so, he'd come so close to losing her too many times for that persistent fear that resided in him to ever be calmed.
Sending his spies to Hoshido to ensure her safety, Leo felt palpable relief when they'd reported back, stating that the princess was well. But that relief soon manifested into hurt as he wondered why she'd stopped writing to him.
When he'd attended Ryoma's coronation in Hoshido soon afterward, he'd hoped that he would finally have the chance to see her… only to find out that she was currently in Notre Sagesse, helping to get the orphanage that Nohr and Hoshido had funded up and running. Although that was important work, he was surprised that she'd miss her own brother's coronation rather than just postponing her tasks for several days. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he'd even think that she might be avoiding him…
Of course he knew better. She still loved him, after all.
… Right?
But Leo's doubts continued to grow when only a few weeks later, he was crowned.
He'd written to Sakura beforehand to tell her he missed her and ask her to attend, only for his letters to be met with silence. Thanks to his spies, he knew that she'd returned to Hoshido by then, that she was no longer in Notre Sagesse. And yet…
Before the ceremony, when his guards had informed him that a Hoshidan contingent had arrived, he remembered the feeling of his heart pounding in his chest - she'd come after all!
Yet it had only been Ryoma, Takumi, and their retainers.
"Takumi! You're here!" Elise had practically squealed with excitement, causing the Hoshidan prince to roll his eyes.
"Jeez, you don't have to make such a big deal about it," he grumbled, but there was a slight dab of pink staining his cheeks.
"Let me show you around the castle before the ceremony," she insisted, grabbing his hand and dragging him off before anyone else even had the chance to greet him properly.
Leo tried to tell himself that he wasn't envious…
"Ryoma," Leo then greeted, almost coldly - perhaps taking out some of his annoyance with Sakura on the Hoshidan king. "Thank you for coming today."
"Of course," Ryoma returned. "I wouldn't miss it."
Well, at least someone felt that way.
"How… how is Sakura?" he then found himself asking, even though he felt almost pathetic for doing so. "I trust that she is well?"
Ryoma paused slightly before answering, and had Leo not been so attuned in waiting for the response, he might not have even noticed.
"She's well," he answered, but Leo couldn't help but wonder if he was holding something back.
"Ryoma…" Leo tried again, unable to hide his frustration. "If there's something going on, then-"
"Listen, Leo," Ryoma interjected. "I consider you my closest ally, but beyond that, I consider you a good friend. However, Sakura is my sister, and my loyalty will always be to her first. So if there's something that she requested I not tell you, then it's not my place to involve myself. You'll have to speak with her on the matter."
"Damn it, Ryoma, don't you think I've tried?" Leo growled. "How can I speak with her when she refuses to see me? When she won't even write me back?"
"I sympathize with you, Leo, I do," Ryoma responded. "But I can assure you that she's not intentionally trying to hurt you. She's just dealing with a lot right now, and no matter how hard this is for you, I can promise you that it's much harder for her."
Leo wanted to shout to the heavens to unleash his frustration. He wasn't just some stranger - he was Sakura's husband. If there was something wrong, then he should be the first to know, not the only one left in the dark. But it was clear that Ryoma had no intention of elucidating things further, so after his coronation ceremony, he resorted to tasking Niles and his spies with finding out what was going on instead.
All Niles had been able to tell him was that Sakura had been seen by several healers throughout the past few weeks.
"Is she ill, then?" Leo had asked when Niles told him, pacing across his study as his worry took hold of him.
"Well, here's a thought… why don't you just go to Hoshido and ask her?"
"Don't you think I want to?" Leo countered. "She's made it clear that she doesn't want to see me."
"That's one way to interpret it," Niles noted. "… Or, maybe she just-"
"Enough!" Leo snapped, even though underneath his frustrations, he knew that Niles was only trying to help. "I don't remember asking for your advice on the matter. You're dismissed."
"… But, milord-"
"I said, you're dismissed." Leo glared at Niles, making it clear that it wasn't up for debate. "Tomorrow I want you to return to Hoshido. And don't come back until you actually learn something useful."
That had been two weeks ago, and Niles still had yet to return. Leo felt more than guilty for how he'd treated his retainer - his friend - in that moment. But on the other hand, sending Niles away had left him alone with Forde, and that had proven to be more than punishment enough…
As Leo documented the week's wheat consumption, his eyes rose to look at Forde.
"Is that all you burst in here to say, Forde?" Leo inquired. "Because if it is… consider yourself dismissed."
"Well, actually, I was hoping that we could spend some time together… after all, you did send away my only friend," Forde noted, pouting at him.
"No," Leo stated. "I have to finish this ledger… go away, Forde."
"But I'm so lonely!" he whined. "We don't even have to talk… I'll just read a book or something. I'll be so quiet that you won't even know I'm…"
He backed into a small bookshelf as he spoke, knocking it over so that somewhere around fifty books, along with the bookshelf itself, fell to the floor with a loud bang.
"… Oops."
"Forde!"
The door burst open again, and Leo was so surprised to see Niles that his anger at Forde was momentarily forgotten.
"What's going on in here?" Niles asked, his eyes searching the room and noting the fallen book case. "I heard a loud bang… are you all right, your grace?"
"Niles… you're back," Leo noted dumbly. He'd told Niles not to return until he had more news on Sakura. So, that must mean…
Leo took a deep breath, burying his emotions as he long ago learned to do, his face the mask of indifference, and he continued to write in his ledger.
130,000 pounds of livestock…
"And yes, we're fine," Leo stated. "Although, if you'd come just five minutes later, I might have had one less retainer…"
Niles only chuckled, and although Leo was playing aloof, he wanted to scream at the man to tell him what he found out.
"Here, I'll help you fix it," Niles said instead, providing Forde with assistance in righting the fallen bookcase. He then started picking up books and putting them on the shelf, but Leo cleared his throat.
"Niles, Forde can see to returning the books - in alphabetical order by author surname - to the shelf. Do you have something to report?"
"I do, your grace," Niles said, bowing at him.
Leo felt his heart rate increasing as his anxiety rose, but he kept his facade of apathy, casually scrawling into his ledger as if Niles were merely reporting the weather.
"All right. You may proceed," Leo granted.
"I'm afraid I didn't find anything more with regard to Princess Sakura's health," Niles stated. "Although, I can tell you that she is no longer being seen by healers."
"I see," Leo said, unsure if he should be relieved or disappointed. "Is that all?"
"No," Niles stated while hopping onto the nearby chess table, and Leo rolled his eyes, annoyed that Niles wouldn't just sit on one of the remaining chairs. "There's something else that… well, that I think you'll want to hear."
"Which is?" Leo prodded, knowing that Niles was just purposefully trying his patience as payback for his outburst several weeks ago, but unwilling to give his retainer the satisfaction of showing that it was working.
"Question," Forde then interjected. "Rémy Lucien Bonhomme - is 'Lucien' his surname? Or 'Bonhomme?'"
"Just figure it out!" Leo snapped, forgetting himself for a moment, until he saw that his two retainers were trying to hold back their laughter.
Leo cleared his throat, dipping his pen into the inkwell once more. "Is Sakura well, then?" he inquired.
Leo paused to sneak a quick look at Niles, although from his retainer's expression, he wasn't too worried. Niles wouldn't approach him with such a self-satisfied smirk if his news had been that something bad had happened to Sakura.
"Oh, from what I hear, she's more than fine," Niles said suggestively.
"Niles…" Leo warned as he scribbled some notes on Nohr's cabbage intake. "Out with it. Now."
"If you insist… but, as they say, don't skewer the messenger with a tree."
Leo's brows drew together in concern as he added another line to his ledger. "Fine," he agreed. "But I'm growing tired of your games. Either speak, or leave."
"You asked for it," Niles muttered, before clearing his throat. "Well, the Wind Tribe has been making regular visits to Hoshido over the last few months. At first it appeared to be standard trade dealings - you know, imports and exports, that sort of thing."
"Yes, I know what the definition of 'trade' is," Leo sighed. "But?"
"But, I came to find out that the tribe is looking to solidify its alliance with Hoshido through a marriage contract… to Princess Sakura. Apparently, the son of the tribe's chieftain - Hayato, I think is his name - is quite taken with her."
The sounds of Leo's pen drifting against the paper below him suddenly ceased, and only then had he realized he'd stopped writing.
"What?" he asked dangerously, turning to look at Niles through narrowed eyes.
Niles, the cheeky bastard that he was, looked amused. "Oh, I think you heard me just fine, your grace."
Leo grit his teeth. "Marriage? To another? But she's my wife!" he then shouted as his arm smashed down against the table. He hit it so hard that the inkwell fell over, drenching the edges of his meticulous ledger. But he didn't even care about that right now, not when…
No, no… he was only overreacting. The rational part of him managed to reign in his emotions, and soon he picked up the fallen inkwell and moved his ledger away from the growing black puddle. He then grabbed his pen and began writing again.
Obviously, Sakura wouldn't be marrying this suitor from Wind Tribe. Not when she loved him and was married to him.
"It doesn't matter… Sakura is already married, so she would never consent to another union," he noted. "Neither would Ryoma… and even if Ryoma did go back on his alliance with Nohr and challenge my marriage to her in order to give precedence to the Wind Tribe, he'd never force Sakura into a political union against her will."
200,000 pounds of tomatoes, Leo then wrote, returning his attention to his ledger. Wait, that figure seemed rather high. Could that be really be right? Gods, how many tomatoes had he ordered to be delivered to Windmire? Perhaps he'd gone a bit overboard…
"Actually…" Niles started, but he didn't finish his sentence.
Leo stopped writing again, turning to Niles once more. "Actually, what?" he asked through the lump that was forming in his throat, but his voice sounded more fearful than angry to his ears.
When a pitying expression made its way to Niles' face, that terrified Leo more than anything.
"Well, rumor has it that she's already agreed to the match. A marriage contract hasn't been drawn up yet, but once it is, I suppose that it's only a matter of King Ryoma and Chieftain Fuga signing it before it's gone with the wind, as they say. … Hmm, now that I think about it, wasn't King Ryoma the one who suggested that you keep your marriage to Sakura a secret in the first place? Maybe he was planning to undermine your marriage claim from the start, and then the right guy came along to sweep the princess off her feet…"
Leo's pen snapped in his hands as he seethed. The sting of betrayal coursed through his veins.
"So, Sakura chose to break her marriage vows to me?"
"Heh… hypocrite," Niles murmured under his breath, but Leo heard him.
"Excuse me?" Leo asked, stunned that Niles would talk back to him in such a way. "Niles… I know that I often let you take liberties with me, but don't think you're above being thrown into a dungeon for talking so insolently to your king."
"Um… maybe we all just need to take a moment to relax and clear our minds," Forde interjected, but both Niles and Leo ignored him.
Instead, Niles hopped off the chessboard, all traces of amusement long gone from his face.
"Isn't that what you've become, though?" he asked. "A hypocrite? You blame Princess Sakura for wanting to break her vows to you, but what of you? Can you honestly say that you've upheld yours in return? You saw the state she was in when you left her, and you knew that Anankos caused her physical harm while she was his prisoner."
Leo flinched.
"Is that the kind of thing that you think someone easily recovers from, milord?" Niles pressed. "Because as someone who's lost an eye before, I can assure you that it's not… I thought you were smarter than that. And even if you were actually too thick-headed to realize it back then, you know that she's been seeing a great deal of healers over the past month. King Ryoma even told you during your coronation that things have been difficult for her lately.
"And yet, you refuse to go and see her, because you're angry with her for keeping you in the dark, and your stupid pride is telling you that she should be the one coming to you instead. With a husband like that, can you really even blame her for finding her kicks elsewhere? I mean, I bet the wind chieftain's son blows more than just wind up her sails, if you know what I mean…"
Leo grabbed Brynhildr and a tree suddenly burst forth from the ground, breaking the chess table that Niles had just been sitting on in two.
"Stop it," Leo commanded, but it sounded like nothing more than a desperate plea.
"Stop what?" Niles pressed. "Fine. Should we talk instead, then, about how your people are suffering? Yes, you ensure that they're fed, unlike your father, but they resent you all the same for being just like him. Do you even know how your people refer to you?"
"Niles…" Forde warned, but Niles ignored him.
"King Leo the Stone-Hearted, that's how," Niles spat, and Leo flinched once more. "Because you pretend to be indifferent about anything and everything - since of course you can't possibly show that you're a mere human with longings, needs, and wants - the Nohrian people are afraid that your reign will be a repeat of Garon's. Civil war is a real possibility, and yet, you don't even seem to care! Instead, you just have this ridiculous notion that the only way to make amends to your dead brother is to be constantly miserable for taking his place, maybe even to fail, because you know that he wouldn't. And all that's done is make you more of a wretched, old bastard than your father ever was!"
Leo shot up then, standing so abruptly that his chair slid backward loudly in the process. As he walked toward Niles, his retainer actually looked fearful for a moment, but Leo just continued right on past him until he reached the door.
"Niles, Forde," Leo said, keeping his back to them. "Prepare Caïssa and your horses. I want us to leave for Hoshido in a matter of hours. In the meantime, send a messenger by wyvern to inform King Ryoma of our impending arrival."
"Yes, King Leo," his retainers responded, with no small amount of surprise.
"And Niles? Thank you for… this. And, for staying, when…"
"For… staying, milord?" Niles repeated, his confusion evident when it was clear that Leo had no intention of finishing his sentence.
Leo turned, his eyes shifting to Forde before returning to Niles, and he knew that his retainer understood.
Niles nodded, and even within his one visible eye, Leo could see the deep affection that his retainer held for him. It was more than Leo deserved… Niles was right, he had been a miserable bastard as of late. And he was so close to losing Sakura again, yet this time he had no one to blame but himself.
Only, that wasn't going to happen. He was going to find her… he was going to find out what was wrong, and he was going to repair this rift that had formed between them. And then, he was going to make her his queen, just like he should have done long ago.
Leo and his retainers rode hard. The trip to Hoshido, which should have taken a minimum of four days by horseback, had only taken two instead. Sakura, he… he just had to see her. He had to make sure that she was okay, and be there for her if she needed him, just like he'd failed to do over the past two months. He had to beg her to give him another chance, beg her not to turn to this Hayato for comfort instead.
… Assuming, of course, that it wasn't already too late.
Gods, how could he have let this happen? How could he have driven her right into the arms of another man?
Grunting, Leo pushed Caïssa to ride even harder, grateful to her for doing his bidding. His retainers, too… they must be just as exhausted as he was, but neither of them complained, not even Forde.
When they finally arrived at the bottom of the mountain housing Castle Shirasagi, Leo wasn't surprised to see Ryoma waiting to receive them. During the ride, Leo had made note of the sky knights flying above them, who'd clearly reported back to Ryoma so that he'd be ready for their arrival.
"King Leo," Ryoma greeted, with a respectful nod as he and his retainers dismounted. "Welcome to Hoshido. I only wish that you would have given us more notice of your visit, so we could have provided you with a reception befitting the king of Nohr."
"King Ryoma," Leo offered, politely mimicking the deferential gesture. Noticing the man with glasses standing near Ryoma, though, he was careful with his words.
"And no reception is necessary - I care not for fanfare. However, I felt that I needed to arrive quickly, so that we could finally solidify the peace between our kingdoms. These affairs have lingered unfinished for far too long now."
"I couldn't agree more," Ryoma stated, and Leo was surprised when the man pulled him in for a brief hug. He'd expected Ryoma to be uncomfortable around him, knowing that he'd sanctioned Sakura's marriage to another man…
"You remember my advisor, Yukimura? I believe you met him at my coronation."
Leo nodded, and the man bowed at him.
"Good. Let's head up, then."
They rode up to the castle in a rickety, wooden elevator. Although Leo wanted to admire the device, as it was a real feat of engineering, he truly detested heights. Still, once they reached the top of the mountain, the castle - which was surrounded by rolling green hills, blossoming pink trees, and crystal clear ponds - was a truly breathtaking sight.
"I'll show you to your chambers so that you can get some rest," Ryoma offered. "In the morning, we can discuss-"
But Leo lifted up a hand to request his silence.
"My retainers are tired from our journey, so I would appreciate if you could have someone lead them to their quarters. However, I do not require rest, and I'd rather we discuss the matter now. I would rest more easily, anyway, knowing that things had been settled with myself and Sa- I mean, your kingdom."
"Very well," Ryoma conceded with a nod.
"I'll summon the nobles for an emergency delegation," Yukimura noted, before dashing off on some kind of strange puppet contraption.
"Yukimura, that's not necess-"
But the spectacled man was soon out of hearing distance, and Ryoma sighed.
"Forgive me, Leo. Politics in Hoshido can be rather… formal."
"No need to apologize. Trust me, I understand," Leo assured him. "The Nohrian nobility wants a say in all my decisions as well."
As a castle servant led Niles and Forde away, Ryoma brought Leo to a lavish room with colorful, scenic murals… decor that was certainly different than the bleak interior of Castle Krakenburg. At first, Leo was confused because there seemed to be no furniture in the room, but Ryoma directed him to remove his boots and sit beside him on a straw mat. Leo did his best to imitate Ryoma, who had his legs neatly-folded beneath him and an erect spine, but the strange posture was incredibly uncomfortable for him.
It wasn't very long before men and women, whom Leo assumed were Hoshidan nobles, began to gather in the room. Still, the audience was somewhat sparse… it was likely that many weren't able to attend the conference on such short notice.
"What is the meaning of this, King Ryoma?" a man then barked, turning to glare at Leo. "Does this Nohrian have no notion of manners? Must he inconvenience us all to meet on his timetable?"
"This Nohrian is King Leo," Ryoma stated. "And he is our honored guest. You will therefore treat him with all of the hospitality befitting a guest of Hoshido."
"No, Ryoma - he's right," Leo conceded, forcing himself to contain his annoyance and be diplomatic. In truth, it didn't surprise him that he was being met with a cold reception…
"I would like to thank you all for meeting on such short notice. But, in addition to that, I wish to thank you all for the food that Hoshido has been providing to Nohr over the last several months." There were some annoyed grunts… clearly, not everyone in the room was happy with that arrangement.
"I'm thrilled that our two kingdoms have finally begun to reconcile after years of unnecessary war-"
"You mean, after years of Nohrian aggression," one noblewoman countered.
Leo sighed. "I don't deny the fault of Nohr in this."
"Nor should we deny the fault of Hoshido for ignoring the plight of our neighbor," Ryoma graciously interjected, and Leo nodded at him to show his appreciation.
"However, as you all know, there are still citizens of our respective kingdoms who have not yet adjusted to these improved relations between Nohr and Hoshido," Leo continued. "Therefore, I think it would be best to solidify and strengthen the relationship between our kingdoms through a marriage between myself and Princess Sakura."
"Unfortunately, Princess Sakura is already spoken for," a man chimed in, and Leo clenched his jaw.
I know. By me.
"Yes, it's true," a woman noted. "It is known that Hayato of the Wind Tribe has already made an offer for Princess Sakura's hand. Therefore, the union should be between you and Princess Hinoka instead."
Leo felt his right eye twitch involuntary. So, it was true, then… about Hayato and Sakura.
"Not Hinoka… Sakura," Leo practically growled, forgetting himself in his anger.
"Ah… I can only imagine what a Nohrian brute like you would want with a gentle woman like Princess Sakura!" one of the nobles accused, and Leo rose to his feet at the insult.
"Enough!" Ryoma barked, both surprising and silencing everyone. "I asked you all to treat King Leo like an honored guest, and instead, you bring shame to our kingdom with your words and actions."
Ryoma then stood. "And I don't recall asking for anyone's input on whom my sisters will marry. In any case, since the topic of marriage is a delicate one, I prefer to speak with King Leo privately on the matter."
"But-"
It only took a raised eyebrow from Ryoma for the objection to be silenced.
"Come, Leo. We can discuss this in my study."
Leo nodded, grabbing his boots as he followed Ryoma to a smaller room, one that had a short table in its center. Trying not to let his face show his displeasure at having to sit on the floor again, Leo figured he should be grateful that this room at least had pillows to sit on rather than just straw mats. As he sat across the table from Ryoma, he then noted the weapons mounted on the walls, including several samurai swords. There was also a small stand nearby holding an opened book, which had various scribbles of beautiful calligraphy written within it.
"Forgive me, Leo," Ryoma then offered with a sigh. "I'm afraid that hearts and minds aren't always quick to change."
But Leo didn't care about the hearts and minds of some stupid, stuffy nobles. It was only Sakura's that he was worried about.
"So it's true then, Ryoma?" Leo accused. "Sakura is to be wed to the wind chieftain's son?"
Ryoma gave him an amused look. "As I recall, Sakura is already wed to you. Regarding Hayato… it was a marriage offer - nothing more."
"Which I've been told she accepted," Leo pressed, tempted to stand so that he could pace.
Ryoma's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure where you're getting your information from, but it's incorrect. Sakura turned down Hayato's offer. Once again - she's already married to you. Leo… are you all right?"
Leo swallowed hard at the relief that washed over him. So Niles had just been wrong?
… No. Niles didn't make mistakes like this. He hadn't been wrong, he'd just purposefully misled Leo in order to spur him into coming to Hoshido.
Leo wasn't angry with his retainer for the deception, though. If anything, he should have come back here for Sakura long ago, and even though she hadn't actually pledged herself to another man, he knew that the threat of losing her was still very real.
"I'm sorry, Ryoma, I…" Leo started, although his words faded quickly. "I just… I need to see her. Will you grant me permission? … Please?"
Ryoma was silent for a long time, and for a moment, Leo thought he might actually refuse his request.
"Yes, you may see her," he finally said, to Leo's great relief. "But… there's something I need to tell you first."
Leo nodded, waiting for him to continue.
"When Sakura was being held prisoner by Anankos, she faced many trials. At one point, she had rat bite fever… then, later, she was attacked by a Faceless."
Leo swallowed hard, hating to think of what she'd suffered at the hands of that bastard dragon.
"She refuses to provide a full accounting of her time there - I think that it's difficult for her to relive it. However, she did reveal that she'd sustained an injury to her abdomen from the Faceless, and it took some time before we found her in Gyges to heal her wounds. She still occasionally feels pain where the Faceless attacked her, indicating that there may be some internal scar tissue that never healed properly. Also, since she returned, there have also been some irregularities with her moon cycle."
"Her moon cycle?" Leo asked, and when Ryoma raised an eyebrow, he felt his cheeks redden. "Ah… I see. But, what does all this mean? Is she… is she going to be all right?"
"Yes," Ryoma assured him. "However, there are some… complications. I had her examined by nearly every healer in Hoshido, but their speculation never changes. They all fear that she…"
"That she…" Leo pressed, feeling his chest tighten as he deduced what was coming.
"That she may be unable to bear children," Ryoma finished. "… I'm sorry, Leo."
"… Sakura," Leo breathed, his heart aching for her, for him… for them. To be honest, although a king was always expected to produce an heir, having children wasn't something he'd given much thought to as of yet… he and Sakura were still young, after all. But Sakura was so kind, so loving… she'd be an amazing mother. And to think that now, she might never have that chance…
"Surely, your healers could be wrong?" Leo wondered. "Or, even if Sakura's injuries really are that severe, perhaps they may still heal in time?"
"Of course," Ryoma granted, his voice soft. "We can't be certain of what the future may hold. But Sakura… she believes that the healers' predictions are true."
That surprised Leo. Sakura wasn't normally one to believe the worst of a situation. Gods, how she must be hurting right now…
"Is that why she's been avoiding me?" Leo inquired, his voice sounding strange even to his ears. "Why her letters stopped… and why she does want to see me?"
"I suspect so," Ryoma said. "I can't say for sure, but I think she's terrified that you'll… dismiss her."
"Dismiss her?" Leo scoffed. "She's my wife, Ryoma."
"And yet, only seconds ago, you were wondering if Sakura was about to marry another man… because you know that if pressed, either party could challenge the validity of a Magvelian marriage - or even, perhaps, have it annulled under the contention of duress. Surely you can't fault Sakura for holding the same fears?"
"Our marriage wasn't just a legal ceremony," Leo contested. "We made vows to each other."
"And what of the vows you took for your kingdom when you were crowned?" Ryoma countered. "I heard you speak them myself. But as a king, you'll be expected to produce an heir. What if Sakura is unable to have a child? Are you willing to take that risk, knowing the problems that you'll face?"
Leo narrowed his eyes. "It sounds like you want me to leave her behind."
"Of course not," Ryoma insisted. "But why do you think I'm telling you about my sister's condition against her wishes? I will always protect Sakura - even from you, Leo. So if her condition changes things - if you plan to break her heart - then it would be best if you just left now. She's already been through enough."
"This news changes nothing," Leo promised. "I know my obligations as king… I know that Nohr will need an heir. But I need her. So even if your healers are right, I'll find a solution. If my sisters have children, then I can just name one of them as my heir, or-"
"Or, you can take on concubines?"
Leo glared at him. "Ryoma, you've been a good friend to me, and to Nohr. But you're really trying my patience right now. So, do you plan to let me see her? Or are you going to make me go through you and everyone in this castle first? Because I'm not leaving Hoshido until I speak with her."
Ryoma only laughed, shaking his head in amusement.
"Ah, I forgot how spirited you could be," he noted, continuing to chuckle slightly. "But there's no cause to worry… you've convinced me that you came to see her for the right reasons. As for Sakura, I believe that she's in the castle garden right now. Come, I'll show you the way."
When Leo found Sakura, her back was to him while she watched a strange-looking fountain bob up and down - a shishi-odoshi, Ryoma had called it when he'd instructed Leo on where to find her, since this was apparently one of Sakura's favorite spots to be alone. The rhythmic sound of the water was calming, but not as calming to him as the sight of her… because, despite all the troubles they were facing - that they were yet to face - his heart finally felt at peace again. As he took a long moment to let his eyes hungrily pour over her, he noticed that her hair had grown even longer by now, hanging an inch or two past her shoulders. It made her look quite pretty, but he was soon distracted by how, well… small she looked. She'd always been petite, of course, but she seemed to have thinned out even more. Perhaps she hadn't been eating well?
She must have heard him coming because she finally turned, and he had to hold back a gasp when she did. It was evident now that she'd lost weight, since even her face was slightly gaunt. Beyond that, though, there were small circles under her eyes, indicating that she'd also been having difficulty sleeping. She just seemed so… worn, and already he hated himself for not being here with her when she was suffering so much.
Perhaps it was unfair that he just stood there, waiting for her to make the first move, but it was a strategy he tended to apply in most of his encounters. It was better to be reactive in a conversation than to make the first move, after all, so that he could adhere to the tone set by the other person. This was something that Sakura had never been comfortable with, even in the best of times, and her eyes widened for a moment as if she were afraid - or perhaps intimidated - by him. Yet she quickly buried that under a smile that didn't reach her eyes, one that seemed to take her all too much effort in her exhausted state.
"King L-Leo," she said with a bow, and he flinched at her stutter, at her formality. It was almost as if they weren't husband and wife, but strangers instead…
"I h-heard that you were coming," she continued. "I trust your journey to Hoshido went smoothly?"
No… he wasn't going to let her distance herself from him like this.
Instead of responding, he slowly walked up to her, pulling her into an embrace the moment he got close enough.
She gasped, clearly surprised by his forwardness, and she remained tense against him at first. But soon he felt her body easing into his, as if it instinctively understood where she belonged, and her arms followed as they wrapped around his back.
"Leo," she whispered, and he smiled.
"Sakura. I missed you," he breathed, saying the first thing that came to mind. Gods, it had been far too long since they'd last seen each other…
"I… I missed you, too."
Her response was hesitant, though, and he frowned.
Pulling away from her, he looked downward to meet her eyes, but she was avoiding his gaze.
"Listen, Sakura. I-"
"Perhaps… p-perhaps we should go for a walk together?" she suggested, interrupting him. "I thought that you might like to see the town here, if you haven't already."
Leo paused for a long moment, his analytical mind trying to process and interpret her strange behavior, before nodding. Although it would be a better tactic to speak with her in a private setting, he wanted to do whatever he could to make her more comfortable. And at least the town was on the mountain next to the castle, and they wouldn't have to take that wretched elevator again.
They did, however, have to go through the castle gate, and one of the guards manning it gave him a wary look.
"My lady… are you leaving here with him on your own free will?" he inquired.
Leo forced himself to hold back the curse forming on his lips - he wasn't some degenerate thug, he was the king of Nohr - while Sakura only seemed surprised by the question.
"Oh… of c-course! King Leo and I, we are… g-good friends. We won't be out long, Jin - I just want to show him the town. But I truly appreciate your c-concern."
The guard nodded at her, and after leaving through the gate, the two of them made their way toward the town. Leo considered taking Sakura's hand in his as they walked, but ultimately, he refrained. Just like the castle guard, the Hoshidan townspeople would likely be suspicious of a Nohrian king making advances on their princess. So, the two of them instead walked side-by-side in an uncomfortable silence for several minutes, until Sakura finally came to a stop in front of a statue of the Dawn Dragon.
She put her hand on the statue. "This is where… where my mother died, and all those people. I mean, in the explosion that my father caused."
Leo struggled between the urge to comfort her and the knowledge that doing so might cause a scene, since the people nearby were now watching them curiously. In the end, he settled for putting his hand on Sakura's shoulder and squeezing tightly.
"I'm sorry," he told her.
She looked at him with sad but appreciative eyes, before returning her gaze to the statue.
"Ryoma did a good job with the rebuilding effort," Leo noted as he struggled for something neutral to say. "Aside from everything in this area seeming very new, I'd never have known that an… an incident had taken place here."
"Yes," Sakura agreed. "The Hoshidan people worked very hard to rebuild quickly. But if you were here before it all happened, you would notice the subtle differences now… like the changes in this statue for instance. The stone even feels different."
Her hand ran along the statue then, as if she were trying to get used to the feel of the unfamiliar material beneath her fingertips.
"It often makes me wonder… can something that was destroyed ever truly go back to what it once was?"
From the sadness in her eyes, he knew that she was no longer referring to the statue, but still, he struggled to understand her. Was she alluding to something else? Herself, or perhaps even their relationship?
Damn it, he wasn't used to this! She'd often been timid, but rarely if ever ambiguous, and because she was normally so open with her feelings, he was having incredible difficulty interpreting her guarded ones now.
Trying to use logic to assess what was upsetting her, he cleared his throat to speak.
"Sakura, I know what the healers here have said about your… condition. Ryoma told me."
"Oh?" she asked, turning to look at him, and he noted her surprise. "I see…"
"Are you… okay?" he asked, even though it was clear to him that she wasn't. "I… I'm so sorry. I should have been here with you when you were going through that."
"It doesn't matter that you weren't here, Leo," Sakura assured him. "It wouldn't have made any difference."
"What? How can you say that?" he asked, her words stinging him even if she'd only meant to absolve him of his guilt. "We're stronger when we're together, remember?"
"And yet, your presence still wouldn't have changed the facts," she countered. "If I were anyone else, that's what you would say to me… isn't it?"
He bristled as she tried to use his own brand of logic against him.
"Facts?" he then scoffed. "What facts? The healers who've assessed you are only speculating. Our knowledge of the human body only goes so far. We don't know for sure if-"
"I do," she insisted, her voice soft but firm. "I know. What they're saying… I know it's true."
"And how could you possibly know something like that?" he pressed.
"Because this is how the gods have chosen to punish me," she explained, even though her words didn't make any sense to him. "To be barren, to never have a child of my own… this is the penance that I owe."
He paused for a moment as her words took him off guard.
"Punish you? Whatever for?"
She looked at him then, and her eyes were filled with so much pain that he nearly couldn't bear it.
"Sakura, what are you keeping from me?"
"It isn't just you, Leo," she promised. "I… I haven't spoken of this with anyone. It's… too painful for me."
"I'm not just anyone, though - I'm your husband," he argued. "I can't stand to know that something is hurting you like this. Please… just talk to me."
After a long moment, she nodded.
"All right… I suppose I owe you that much," she agreed. "When… w-when I was a prisoner in Castle Gyges, there was a young boy there who would bring me food and water, a Vallite. He was maybe ten years old, but was raised as a servant of Anankos. His name was Anthony…"
Leo said nothing. They hadn't found a boy when they'd gone to Gyges, and that along with Sakura's melancholy was enough for him to deduce what had happened to the child. Still, he needed to know the details if he was going to be able to comfort her, so he remained silent and let her continue.
"When the Rainbow Sage and I attempted to escape, I tried to convince Anthony to come with us. But he was too afraid of Anankos to leave Gyges, so he chose to stay behind. I promised myself when I left him there that I would find a way to free him, but…"
"But what?" Leo prodded.
"I fell for one of Anankos' tricks - I let myself believe that my mother wanted to help me, when she was only trying to entrap me. I suppose I just wasn't strong enough to face the truth of what my mother had become… and because of that, I was caught. Only, Anankos couldn't punish me for trying to escape because he planned to use me as leverage against you. So instead, he… he…"
"The child," Leo realized, his eyes growing wide as he realized the horror of the situation.
Sakura nodded. "Anankos… he turned Anthony into a Faceless."
"A Faceless?" Leo asked, putting the pieces together. "You mean, the Faceless that attacked you? The Faceless that we… killed?"
Sakura nodded again.
"Gods, I…" Leo started, feeling ill. "Had I known, we wouldn't have attacked it… him. I… I'm so sorry, Sakura."
"It isn't your fault," Sakura assured him. "Once Anthony became a Faceless, there was no hope left for him anyway. If anything, you only put him out of his misery. I'm the one who has to take responsibility for his fate. After all, he was punished in my place."
"Sakura, no," Leo breathed. "None of this was your fault - Anankos was a mad king. Surely you must know that?"
But as she looked at him, it was as if his words hadn't even registered.
"Anthony, he… he was so afraid, Leo. He was begging me to help him, to save him, but I… I couldn't do anything."
Without any more concern for decorum - she was his wife, damn it, whether the people here knew it or not - Leo pulled her against him.
"It's all right," he promised, but she surprised him when she pulled away from his embrace.
"You shouldn't comfort me," she chided. "When the first healer assessed me and told me that I might be barren, I cried for days. I'd already been grieving over the people lost to us in this war, but now I had to grieve over the child I'd never have… and over the future I'd never have with you. But once I came to understand that this was the penance the gods demanded from me, I came to accept it."
She then grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.
"Don't you see, Leo? The gods… this is the fate that they've chosen for me, so that I can atone."
"I still don't understand," he told her, although her words were starting to scare him. "Atone for what?"
"… For surviving," she clarified, "when Anthony didn't. And not just him, but Subaki too, who died saving my life… and the people of Notre Sagesse as well, who my father only killed because I was causing him so much pain."
Leo was speechless. He wanted to rail at her, to tell her that what she was saying made no logical sense… but then again, he'd learned long ago that emotions weren't always logical.
"Do you really believe this?" he asked softly, his heart aching for her. "That the gods are punishing you?"
She turned her head away, but nodded.
"Well, if that's the case, then… to hell with the gods."
Her eyes widened at his language, and when she faced him once more, she seemed almost panicked.
"L-Leo…! You c-can't say things like that!" she warned.
"And why not?" he scoffed. "I fought a demon king and a first dragon to be with you, Sakura… and if the rest of the gods have any issue with it, then they're more than welcome to get in line."
He pulled her to him again, and this time she seemed too shocked to push him away.
"Besides, I'm quite certain that you're wrong, anyway," he told her. "It's not the gods who are punishing you, Sakura… the only one doing that right now is you."
She shuffled in his arms uncomfortably.
"N-no… I-I…"
"It's okay. We'll find a way to get through this - together," he promised. "But you have to stop running from me… you have to stop pushing me away. I'm not going to leave you, Sakura - not this time."
Her eyes began to water and she tried to blink away the tears that were forming in them, thereby managing to prevent them from running down her cheeks.
"I know that you love me, Leo, but you're the king of Nohr now. And like this, I… I'll be nothing but another burden to you. So, maybe you should just consider-"
"If you're trying to convince me that I'd be better off without you, then you won't succeed," he stated, his voice unwavering and firm. "I need you, Sakura… I always have. And if you truly knew how much I loved you, like you claim to do, then you would already know that."
She shook her head.
"You don't need me, you need the person you fell in love with," she countered. "But I… I don't know that I can be that girl anymore. I was so naive before, because I thought that whatever happened during this war, it wouldn't change me. But I was wrong… I did change. And like this statue, maybe the pieces can be put back together one day, but it… but I might never be the same."
"Just because you're hurting right now doesn't mean you've changed," Leo assured her, taking her face in his hands so that he could look deeply into her eyes. "You seem so convinced that you can no longer be the girl I fell in love with, but I can promise you that you don't need to worry about that. In fact, I'm going to tell you what someone I care deeply for said to me once - you don't need to be anyone but you, Sakura."
This time she couldn't contain her tears, and soon her face was pressed against his chest as her body trembled with her sobs. He wrapped his arms around her small frame in return, determined to provide the same unwavering support to her that she'd always provided to him in the past. Yet the crowd around them was starting to openly scrutinize them, and although Leo tried to pointedly ignore their comments, some of their whispers still reached his ears.
"Isn't that the king of Nohr? Did he make Princess Sakura cry?"
"I think so. Merciful gods, who could be that cruel to a person as kind as Princess Sakura?"
"Well, you know, I've heard rumors that he's even more heartless than his father."
"Hmm, I don't know. It looks to me like he's only comforting her. Their embrace seems very… intimate."
"But didn't Hayato of the Wind Tribe make an offer of marriage to her? Is the Nohrian king in love with her, too?"
"No… Nohrian scum don't have feelings. The Nohrian king is clearly just trying to drive a wedge between Hoshido and the Wind Tribe."
But Sakura must have heard them too, because she pushed away from him and shook her head.
"They… they shouldn't be speaking about you this way," she lamented.
"It's all right… they'll come around someday," he promised, even though he wasn't sure that they would. "But right now, I'm more worried about you. Can we go somewhere private to continue talking? Perhaps back to the gardens at the castle?"
Sakura nodded, but this time as they walked, he didn't hesitate to hold her hand. If the people were going to gossip about them anyway, then there was no cause in trying to hide his feelings or keep his distance.
It wasn't until they were back in the gardens of Castle Shirasagi that he let go of her, and her eyes seemed to drift over him for a moment before she looked away nervously.
"Y-you know… I'm not the only one who's different now," she noted. "The war has changed you too, Leo."
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
Sakura nodded in response. "I-if you could only see yourself… that is, how you look right now," she said, starting to blush. "I just meant that you seem stronger and more determined… someone truly worthy of being king."
Her words startled him for a moment, yet once they sunk in, he couldn't help but chuckle.
"Silly, aren't you?" he asked.
She seemed confused, so he elaborated.
"It's not the war that made me stronger, Sakura. It was you."
Her eyes widened, and he took her surprise as an opportunity to lean in and kiss her. The kiss was brief, though, so her eyes remained closed for a moment after its conclusion. When she opened them and looked at him, her blush deepened.
"Look," Leo started, taking a deep breath to steel himself. "I know that you're hurting, and that it's unfair of me to ask you this right now, but still, I… I want you to come back with me to Nohr. I realize that you don't want to be the queen of Nohr, and that this isn't the life I promised you when I proposed. And yet, I'm still selfish enough to ask you to stay by my side, because I can't do this without you."
"Of course you can," Sakura asserted. "You can do anything, Leo. At l-least, that's what I believe."
"I appreciate your faith in me, but you're wrong," he maintained. "And even if you're right, well… I don't want to be king without you. Because the truth is that none of this means anything to me if I can't be with you."
Her cheeks remained their alluring shade of red, but she wrapped her arms around herself almost defensively.
"Even if… even if the healers are right and I can't bear you a child?" she then asked.
"You don't need to worry about that," he promised. "Even if they are right - and I have my doubts - then I can find alternative options for an heir."
"I…" She was silent for a long time. "I won't lie to you, Leo. I'm afraid of going to Nohr… afraid of being queen. I fear that I'll only be a disappointment to you and your people."
"And do you think I don't share those same fears?"
She seemed surprised by his revelation. "Really? But you're s-so smart, and capable."
He chuckled slightly, brushing his knuckles against her cheek. "I'm glad you think so. But Xander was the king my people expected… and the king they wanted. I don't think I can ever live up to his legacy. Everyday, I wish… I wish that he hadn't…"
"Leo…" she breathed.
But he only sighed.
"This war has extracted a heavy toll from us. But despite all we've lost, despite how much it hurts, we still have each other. Please, Sakura, don't throw away that gift because of some misplaced sense of duty, or because you're afraid, I beg of you… for my sake, if not for yours."
He was surprised when she leaned into him, but he didn't squander the opportunity to wrap his arms around her.
"For so long now, I thought that the gods wanted to punish me," she told him. "I was certain that I'd never know happiness again. But when you're with me, I… I can almost believe that everything is going to be okay again."
"I should never have left you," he lamented, his guilt currently threatening to overwhelm him. "I shouldn't have left right when you needed me the most. Gods, Sakura, I-"
"It doesn't matter," she promised him, pressing the side of her head more firmly against his chest. "You're here now."
Only, it did matter. Perhaps she'd forgiven him, which was more of a kindness than he even deserved, but the truth remained that he'd put the needs of his kingdom before her needs. Yet somehow, he had to find a way to balance being a good king with being a good husband. A part of him feared it wasn't possible - that he'd always be failing one side or the other. But no, in this, failure was not an option. He'd make it work… he had to.
"So you'll stay with me, then?" he asked again. "You'll return with me to Nohr?"
She nodded, and the relief he felt was palpable, the tension that had been building up within him finally dissipating.
"I'm still afraid, but… being without you scares me even more," she confessed. "And besides, if… if you truly feel that you need me, even when I'm like this, then… then I want to be there for you, too."
"Thank you," he breathed. "And I do need you. Not only because I love you, but because you've been fighting by my side ever since we first met, and I've come to depend on you. After all, the wars we've fought in together may be over now, but the battle for peace is only beginning."
"I never thought of it that way," she admitted. "But I think y-you're right. We owe it to the people who lost their lives to try and rebuild what Anankos almost destroyed. For them, for our people, and, f-for you… I want to at least try."
Leo couldn't help but chuckle. "For you to care so much about the fate of others, even after you've been hurt so badly… yes, there's truly no need for you to worry, Sakura. You're definitely still the same girl I fell in love with."
This must have been something that she was truly concerned about, because she seemed genuinely surprised.
"I…" she started as her eyes once again grew wet. But when she seemed to be at a loss for words, he took the opportunity to kiss her again, hoping his actions would compliment his words to express how much he truly loved her… and that he always would. Yet although the kiss was all too short, it still contained a promise - a promise that from now on, he would be there when she needed him, like he should have been from the start.
And so, it was with that promise that they would ultimately start the next chapter of their lives together - as the king and queen of Nohr.
Author's Note: Blarg… I'm really disappointed with how this chapter turned out, but I wasn't sure what else I could do with it, so here we are.
Disclaimer: I by no means intend to imply that a woman's only function is to have children - I myself am a woman that plans to be child free. However, it is a legitimate problem (especially in the medieval era, which FE is kind of based on) for a king/queen to be unable to produce an heir, and this has even historically led to some uprisings. In addition, people in the medieval era often took a child as a sign that a marriage had the blessing of god/the gods. On top of all that, I think that Sakura is the kind of a person who would very much want a child. So yes, this may become a point of conflict down the road. :P
I'm sure some people will be upset that Odin's gone without having much of a role in the story, but as much as I love him, we all know that the end of the game leads him back to Ylisse.
Also, I'm sorry that this chapter was all Leo's point of view - I initially had much different plans for this chapter than what it ultimately turned out to be, for better or worse, and to change that last scene to Sakura's point of view would have meant rewriting the entire scene. In addition, throughout the story we often see Sakura providing emotional comfort to Leo, so I thought it would be refreshing to see him provide that for a change. But Sakura's POV in the next chapter, I promise.
Anyway, this arc is already off to a rocky start for me, so hopefully things will go more smoothly. I appreciate your continued readership, as always!
Coming up: Another LeoSaku wedding? But this one may go very differently than the first... ;)