Respite 2: Engagement

For as far back as he could remember Karl had been able to read. It had taken other children years to pick up a book. He'd been doing it practically since he could walk. The first attempts hadn't been much more than skimming over a letter or two at a time, and the strings of sounds he put together in his mind didn't actually mean anything, but all that mattered was that he'd been doing it. This time it was different. Whatever he saw in the strange series of symbols years before, Karl Landzaat was sure of one thing – he had never read anything that turned his stomach inside out like the sign in front of him.

It was a white sign and the lettering was black. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary about it. It was just a sign, and it stood in a hallway just like any other. Karl couldn't look away. He knew that if he stared much longer he was going to throw up, but the thick black lettering held his eyes hostage. He wouldn't have been able to look away to save his life. Lynn's life, even. The woman was at the root of the problem, as she always was, but she could have been bleeding to death on the floor next to him and he wouldn't have been able to look away from the sign long enough to call for help. Karl's eyes shot back and forth behind his glasses, checking, double checking, and then triple checking to make sure he'd read it right. When the letters didn't change after the fifth time through he knew it was too late. His life was over. There was only one 'M' word in a hospital that was worse, and that was 'Morgue'. This one wasn't much better – 'Maternity'.

With a soft thump a heavy hand fell on his shoulder. Still transfixed by the sign Karl was left unable to turn towards whomever it was that had managed to sneak up behind him. It wasn't until a voice accompanied the hand that gripped him that he realized it was Musaad. "You alright there, son?" the man asked. As the words left his mouth Karl felt a slight pull against his shoulder. Following the other man's guiding arm he let himself spin around until they were standing face to face. The scarred gentleman in front of him looked completely alien – he wasn't wearing his uniform, or even anything supplied by the Militia. Karl hadn't thought the man owned anything that wasn't standard issue. The blue jeans and white t-shirt the man was sporting proved him otherwise. "I've seen stares like that before," Musaad continued, "but usually the one wearing it was getting set to storm over the top."

After the initial shock of the encounter began to wear off the older man's words started to arrange themselves in Karl's head. They came one or two at a time and in fragmented chunks. Only one of them sunk in – 'Son'. "It's…" Stammering, Karl stumbled over every syllable as he worked to force a sentence together. His tongue felt five times larger than it had an hour before. "It's a boy?"

"Yeah," Mussad said with a slow nod. There was a slight haze in his eyes, and they became less and less focused with each bob of his head. "A lot of them really were no more than boys. Hell, I felt like a boy back then myself. It was hard not to, what with being half frozen and soaked to the bone at the bottom of a battered, muddy trench. There were a few times–"

"No," Karl said forcefully enough to force the man back a step. Looking over his shoulder he took another look at the sign that had been holding him hostage for the past ten minutes or so. The lettering hadn't changed. "The baby." As he said them the words echoed through his mind. Each one slammed against the inside of his skull before exploding , scrambling what little was left of his mind into a wet, soupy puddle of incomprehensible mush. "I'm talking about the baby."

As Musaad's eyes sharpened back into focus his forehead scrunched in surprise. "What baby?"

Forcing his hands into fists it took everything Karl had to keep himself from tearing out his hair. He had to ease up on the death grip when he realized he was crushing the small bouquet of flowers he had in one hand and the stack of letters he was holding in the other. The flowers were from him, and the letters were from a number of the other Squad members. All of them were for Lynn. He'd picked up the flowers on the way to the hospital. He hadn't known they'd soon be sitting in a maternity ward. "Lynn's here."

"Yeah," Musaad said. "I just visited her."

"Well what did she say?"

Blowing out a long breath, Musaad rolled his eyes back. It was clear that he was replaying the visit in his mind. Moments passed before he looked back down and shrugged. With each second of silence that passed Karl felt pieces of himself slipping away. He didn't know where they were going, but he had a feeling that they were going for good. "Nothing out of the ordinary," Musaad said after the excruciating delay. "It was a quick visit. Just wanted to make sure she was doing alright, you know? We lost a lot of good people this last week."

"Yeah, I know," Karl said. He would have felt bad about blowing off the fact that nearly the entire man's section had been wiped out in a night, but empathy wasn't something he was capable of at that moment. "But this is a maternity ward, Musaad. What is she doing here?"

"I don't know," the man said. "I didn't ask."

"What do you mean you didn't ask?" As his fingers tightened around the stack of letters in his hand Karl could feel the envelopes beginning to wrinkle. A large part of him wanted to crumple them into a ball and throw them in Musaad's face. His fist probably would have followed. Karl had nothing against the man, but he needed to take his fear and frustration out on something, and the scars running across his face were starting to look like targets. "They bring pregnant women here, not casualties. How can you visit one of your troopers without asking why she's in a maternity ward?"

Musaad's eyes fell to the bouquet Karl was holding. As he lifted them back up he dropped his hand back on the other man's shoulder. Karl knew it was coming this time, but that didn't stop the grip from feeling like a deathblow. Musaad was just short of twice his age but his fingers were made of iron. "Look Karl," he said, "I'm not a lover. I'm a fighter, and I always have been. You are, though, and what you and Lynn do when you're not in the trenches is none of my concern. So long as you're using the right rifle at the right time I couldn't care less."

When the man's mouth closed Karl debated looking back over his shoulder. The scarred man had taken his time getting his words across, and the sign might have changed in the time he'd eaten up spewing them out. In the end he didn't take a second look. He didn't think his heart could take seeing those letters written out again. Instead he did his best to keep himself from breaking down in front of Musaad. The older man had likely seen many men like Karl fall apart on the front lines or in hospitals before, but he'd probably never seen it in a maternity ward. As Karl guessed he'd never even stepped foot in one.

Before he could think of anything to say Musaad's hand fell off of his shoulder. The man couldn't have understood, but he seemed to be trying his best to get an idea of what was going through Karl's head. There was no way he could have known, but somehow just the effort gave the engineer a surge of confidence. "Are those for her?" Musaad asked gesturing towards the bouquet in the young man's hand.

Karl had no idea what kind of flowers he was carrying, and he didn't particularly care. He'd never been a flower person. Lynn, however, was, and his first visit to one of the city's flower shops ended in frustration. Thankfully Jane had volunteered to give him a hand the next time he gave it an attempt, and after telling that 'incompetent bitch of a florist' to 'piss off' after what she had considered 'taking the art of floristry and shitting all over it' she jumped behind the counter and put together something special. At least, Karl assumed it was something special. The way the woman had gone on about it had certainly convinced him of it. "Yeah," he said. The floor was suddenly the most interesting thing in the room.

"They look really nice."

"Thanks."

Sighing, Musaad took a step back. Though he was clearly headed towards the ward's exit he didn't turn away from the helpless man in front of him. Kicking at the floor, he absently slapped at his thigh with the palm of his hand. "Well," he started awkwardly, "she's been waiting for you. You should probably go see her."

There were dozens of separate rooms down the hallway Karl was left standing in. He couldn't see the numbers, but one of the nurses had already pointed the one he was looking for out. It was the third on the left. He'd been dying to see Lynn for the past week, but now that the hospital was finally allowing her visitors and he'd found out where she was staying he considered coming back another time. After a second's worth of thought he realized he was better off going through with it. If he didn't visit then Lynn would surely throw a fit, assuming he survived the butchering Jane would have dealt him for not delivering those flowers. "Yeah," he said absently. Karl didn't listen for the shuffling of Musaad's feet as he left the ward. The scarred figure wouldn't have been any help anyway. He was a veteran of many battles, but he had absolutely no experience in dealing with what was about to come. Taking a deep breath, Karl removed his glasses and put them in his pocket. The less he could read of that sign or any others ahead the better. Taking one last moment to clear his head he uttered a quick prayer. He already knew it wouldn't do him any good. Karl was a man now, and he was alone.

Shifting the bouquet into the hand holding the letters, he slowly made his way to the door and reached for the handle. The metal was cool, and it felt good against the hot tips of his fingers. He was burning up – it felt like the hospital was on fire. Karl knew better. Holding his hand out, he swallowed hard and pushed against the handle. It didn't budge. He could see it in front of him, and he could see his arm connected to it, but the arm itself wasn't moving. It was stuck. Lynn was on the other side of the door. He hadn't seen her since he'd pulled her out of that mess back in Rodez. Karl wanted to see her face more than anything, but his hand was frozen on the door handle. There wasn't an Imperial within three hundred miles of where he was standing, but he felt like an entire platoon of the armored figures had their rifles trained on his head. It might have even been preferable.

In his daze he hadn't noticed that when he'd relaxed his arm the limbs weight pressed down on the handle, and when the door began to slowly drift open in front of him he nearly passed out. Over the past few months he'd learned many things – that he wasn't ready for fatherhood was just one of them. With each inch the door swung he knew he was himself swinging further and further from freedom. Cezary had been right. Karl didn't regret having asked Lynn to marry him, but the thought of raising children in the middle of a war dropped his stomach through the floor. He didn't know the Alliance's policy on half-Darcsen children, but he'd seen what they'd done in Fouzen and that was far more than enough. The images didn't fade as Lynn's face came into view.

She was lying in a small bed, and only her head was raised high enough to shoot up off of the mattress. The woman was clearly looking though, and from her face Karl could tell she'd been waiting. Unable to step into the room he stood helplessly in the doorway. Even stranded in the hospital bed Lynn was absolutely gorgeous, and while she was still framed by the burning shacks of the labor camp they seemed a lot more distant than they had moments before. He still wasn't able to walk forward as his arm fell back down to his side, however, and when the door slammed shut in his face with a loud crash he dropped the stack of letters and the bouquet of flowers he'd been holding, scattering the envelopes all over the floor outside her door.

"You can come in, you know," he heard Lynn's muffled voice call through the door. With a groan Karl knelt down and sorted through the handful that had fallen to the ground. She was waiting – had been waiting for the past week – and he'd made a fool of himself. It wasn't the first time he'd done it in front of her, and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but for some reason he felt their entire relationship hinged on this reunion. Nearly breaking into tears he jumbled the letters into a messy pile, picked up the flowers, and walked through the door.

Lynn hadn't moved and, to his surprise, was smiling. He was probably smiling as well – he wasn't quite sure. All he knew for certain was that seeing her smiling was the only thing in the world he needed. Then his eyes dropped to her stomach, and he could feel his expression change. Was it bulging? He was pretty sure he could see it bulging. She hadn't looked fat before, but it was hard to tell with so much equipment strapped on. In a hospital gown, on the other hand… definitely a bit of a bulge. It was hardly noticeable, but it had to have been there. Fuck.

"Oh no," Lynn said as her own smile faded. She'd seen his sudden expression change, and he knew she didn't like it. The woman was probably just as nervous about the idea as he was. "You didn't talk to Musaad on your way in, did you?"

Wanting to lie, Karl walked further into the room to buy time. From the look on her face he guessed Lynn wanted him to lie too. Even if they both knew the truth they could at least pretend they didn't. He'd already opened his mouth when he realized he couldn't do it. He was going to be a father, and fathers had to face the truth. "Yeah," he said. "I talked to him."

"And he told you, didn't he?"

"He…" Karl thought back to their conversation. Had Musaad told him Lynn was pregnant? As he remembered the man had told him he didn't ask. In fact, he'd implied they hadn't talked about why she was in that particular wing of the hospital. Sitting down in a chair next to Lynn's bed Karl grimaced. The old man was a lying bastard. "He said you didn't really talk about it."

Lynn nodded. "Good," she said. "I'm at least glad he didn't outright say it." The woman looked a little relieved, but Karl could still tell she was nervous. He didn't blame her. "You know though, right?"

"Yeah."

With a long sigh Lynn dropped her head back down onto her pillow. It looked a lot more comfortable than the hard tile floor she'd been lying on when he'd last seen her. He couldn't believe it had already been a week. "Alright." Twisting her neck she rolled her head until Karl found himself looking her in the eyes again. As beautiful as they were he couldn't help but notice the worry in them. It was something he didn't see often. "Look," she said anxiously, "I know this is really important and all, but there are only ten minutes left for visiting hours. Can we just get through them this one time without saying the 'P' word?"

Karl wanted to say yes. He really wasn't looking forward to the conversation ahead of them, and spending the rest of his visit not having to worry about it would have been the greatest relief he could possibly imagine. It wasn't going to last though, and the conversation needed to happen. He'd cowered down and ran from bullets before – he wasn't going to have to look his kid in the eyes and tell the little Landzaat he'd run from this as well. "Lynn, this is kind of important. We should probably talk about this."

He thought Lynn would have understood. In fact, he'd been imagining she'd commend him for being brave – thank him even. Instead she looked like she was going to cry. "I've been waiting for them to allow me visitors for a Goddamn week, Karl. You've only got ten minutes, and I just can't deal with this right now, alright?" It was over. He knew that he'd go along with whatever she wanted. She probably knew it too. "Besides," she said with a half smile. When he saw the expression Karl began to grin himself. He could last a day without having to worry about anything. That could wait for another time. "I don't want to have this conversation in front of Susie."

"Yeah, that's probably–" Stopping mid sentence, Karl felt his head tilt to the side. His glasses nearly slid off, and he had to bring his hand up to keep them from falling off of his nose. "Wait, what?"

"Hey Karl." Turning his head towards the voice, Karl had a hard time recognizing the face. He already knew who it was – the curls gave the woman away – but he couldn't justify the figure in front of him being treated in the room she was in. It was definitely Susie though. There was no mistaking it. "I wanted to say something when you walked in," she continued, "but you were so focused on Lynn that I didn't want to interrupt."

Looking back and forth between the two women in the beds Karl tried to make sense of what the blonde was doing sharing a room with his future wife. He already knew why Lynn was there – that was his own fault. Susie was a mystery. She'd always been so soft spoken and proper. There were many possible ways she could have found herself in the maternity ward, and as each one of them ran through Karl's mind they became progressively worse and worse. "Who…" Fighting for words, he took his glasses off and placed them on the side table. They weren't helping. "Who put you in here?"

That last thing he saw before something struck the back of his head was the uncomfortable look Susie spread across her face. Thankfully he didn't have to look at it long before his head jerked forward and down into his chest. "What the Hell, Karl?" Lynn yelled. Her pillow was now lying on the room's floor. That must have been her weapon of choice. "Did you seriously just ask that? Don't be dense."

"I'm sorry," he said rubbing the back of his head. The pillow had been soft, and it had hurt his pride more than his body. It didn't sting any less. "I just wasn't expecting you'd be here."

Though she still looked a tad anxious, Susie shrugged and let herself smile. "Well," she said, "neither was I, really. These things happen though. Not much you can really do."

Laughing nervously, Karl nodded. "I guess not," he said. Now that she'd mentioned it she was looking a little bigger herself. Just barely. He hadn't noticed it until she'd said anything about it.

For a few moments the three of them sat in silence. Karl had expected the trip to be awkward as soon as he'd realized what part of the hospital he was visiting. He hadn't expected Susie to be there as well. That just made everything worse. Thankfully the woman knew how to keep the ball rolling. "Are those for me?" she asked pointing at the flowers in his hand.

Looking down Karl realized he was still holding the bouquet. They weren't just beautiful anymore – they were a lifesaver. Handing them and the letters over would surely take up what little time he had remaining in his visit. It hurt that he couldn't stay longer, but at the same time he was glad for the out. It would give him at least a night to regroup and clear his head before he came back for a second visit. "Oh, right." Shifting the flowers into his open hand, he turned back to Lynn's bed and held them out for her. "These are for you," he said as he passed them into her hands.

"They're really pretty," she said. "Did you pick them yourself?"

Chuckling, Karl scratched his head before letting his hand fall into his lap. "Something like that," he said. "I had Turner put them together for me. She knows more about this kind of stuff than I do. I was kind of worried they wouldn't let me bring them into the hospital, but nobody stopped me so I figured it was alright. Jane probably would have come here and shot the place up if they'd turned me away and I came back without delivering them to you the way she was acting putting them together."

"That's sweet of her." Setting the flowers aside Lynn pointed towards Karl's other hand. "What are those?"

The letters. Lifting them up, Karl began to pass them over to her. There wasn't one from every member of the Squad – or even a quarter of the Squad – but it was still a pretty hefty stack. He guessed that people connected with the fact that two of their Squad mates were getting married, even if one of them was Darcsen. It really did make for a cute story. People tended to cling to that kind of stuff, especially considering what they had all been through. "They're for you too," he said smiling. "Part of the Squad got together and wrote out some 'get well' cards."

"They did that for me?" she asked picking the top envelope up and flipping it over in her hands. "Can I open them now?"

"They're your cards," Karl said. Reading a card or two would kill time. He'd excuse himself after one or two of the things and make his way out. He'd been dying to see Lynn, but now that he'd confirmed with his own eyes that she was safe he could last another day or so. Her smiling face was all he'd needed to see. "You can open them any time."

"Alright then," she said. Once more she looked the envelope in her hands over. "This one doesn't have a name on it."

Karl took a quick glance. It was blank. That was fine – there were a number of letters he'd picked up that hadn't had names on them. Most of the Squad mates had just signed the card. It had made things difficult when he was keeping them all accounted for, but in the long run it hadn't been a big deal, and he hadn't gone after them for it. "Some of them aren't marked on the outside," he said. "Check the card."

Shrugging, Lynn tore into the envelope and pulled out the card. As soon as it was clear she smiled. "That's cute," she said holding it up for him and Susie to see. "It's got kittens on it."

The cover of the card had a picture of two little cats playing with a ball of yarn. Karl didn't think it was particularly cute, but he'd never been a cat person. Last he remembered Lynn hadn't either. "Yeah," he said playing along. It was almost too cute, and he had a hard time taking it seriously. In the end it was probably supposed to be like that though – a feel good card. That one must have been from Dorothy or some other young woman in the unit. "Cute."

"Well let's see what it says." Opening the card her eyes began to skim across the lettering as she read the words out loud. "Dear Lynn," she said, "I'm so glad to hear that you're doing well and recovering in a safe place. These last few months have been rough on all of us, and some rest off of the line will surely do you some good. I wish it were under better circumstances, but I'm sure Karl will be there to make sure you're comfortable and kept good company." Blushing slightly she looked up and gave the man a quick wink before continuing on. "I have no doubt that you'll have nothing to worry about with him around. Always remember that. Karl is a good man, so don't–"

When Lynn's smile faded Karl sat forward in his seat. Her eyes hadn't stopped moving, but she wasn't reading out loud anymore. Trying to get a better look he edged his head around in an attempt to read over her shoulder. All he could see were the two kittens on the cover. "Lynn?"

Clearing her throat, the woman looked up at him briefly before dropping back down to the card and continuing from where she'd left off. "So don't turn around and fuck him in the ass like all of those other Darkie sluts from that shithole of a ghetto you walked out of. Stay safe, and I hope to see you up and around soon. Sincerely, Cezary Regard."

Neither of them spoke after she'd let the card fall down onto her stomach. For a few moments they stared off into nothingness. "I'm really sorry," Karl said when nothing else came to mind. There were still a good number of envelopes left. He kicked himself for not reading the letters first and sealing them up personally. "I probably should have screened those."

"No," Lynn said. He was surprised to see that she was still smiling. In fact, she looked happier than he'd seen her look in a long while. "I'm honored, actually." Lifting the card back up, she handed it over to him and gestured towards the side table. "Why don't you set it up right there. It's not every day Regard writes me a get well card. I want it front and center."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she said. "And make sure you thank him for me."

"I'll uh…" If Lynn hadn't asked he probably would have punched Cezary in the face the next time he saw him. He was glad Lynn didn't feel he needed to defend her honor or some other antiquated crap. "I'll buy him a drink or something."

"Good."

When she reached for another envelope Karl took a look at the clock. He still had about two minutes, but he figured Lynn could use a little extra rest. While he'd been late showing up, Musaad had been in before him, and he was almost certain there were others who had stopped by even earlier. It wouldn't do to wear her out. "Hey Lynn," he said reaching out for her hand. It felt great to finally hold it again, and for a moment he considered sticking around a little while longer. After a quick debate he decided otherwise. "We're going to have to talk later, but I should get going for the night. I'll try to swing by tomorrow afternoon though. Catherine's funeral is at noon, but it should be out before visiting hours end."

"Are you sure you can't stay?" she said. It was almost a plea. "I don't think they'll really care. Susie wouldn't mind either."

"Nope," the other woman said. "Stay as long as you want."

Karl could feel his heart sinking. The invitation was almost too good to pass up, but he knew it would be better for everyone if he came back the next day. He'd been begging for a chance to walk out the door, but now that he actually had to leave he was more than a little disappointed. "I can't," he said as he stood up from the chair. "You two need your rest. Especially now that you're both sleeping for two."

Karl had turned and marched halfway to the door before Lynn's voice cut him short. "Wait, what?" she asked.

Turning, he could see Susie and his fiancée staring up at him. Their faces were blank, and the blonde's had gone completely pale. Sitting up in her hospital gown she looked like a ghost. Lynn was only lifting her head, but she didn't look a whole lot better. "You know," he explained. "That word you didn't want to use. The 'P' one."

"I don't understand."

From the woman's expression things were going downhill fast. The door he'd been dreading walking through for the second time was starting to look very welcoming again. Putting his glasses back on, he let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. "Look, I know you didn't want to talk about this," he said, "but we need to be straight with each other. You were wounded and you need to rest. We're lucky enough the baby made it through all of this as is."

Any color that had been left in her face drained before his eyes. As Susie's body dropped out of sight she let her own head fall into her mattress. "Oh, Goddammit," she said closing her eyes and bringing her hands up to cover her face. "What did Musaad tell you?"

"Nothing," he said raising his own hands. There wasn't anything for him to ward off, but he felt safer with the buffer between the two of them. He could get away with quite a bit, but Lynn was a demon when he actually made her angry, and she let him know it when he did. "It's just… since you're pregnant and all I figured–"

"Paralyzed, Karl," she moaned into her hands. Her voice was breaking as she spoke. "They only put us in the maternity ward because they're out of room everywhere else. I'm paralyzed, not pregnant."

"Para…" He'd heard the words, and he'd even begun speaking them, but they didn't make a whole lot of sense to him. They jumbled around in his mind before falling to pieces. He would have needed a dictionary to figure them out. "What?"

"I really didn't want to have this conversation today," she said. Her hands were still covering her face, and they muffled the words as they came out. In his state it would have been difficult for Karl to catch them even if they'd come out clear. With the added interference he struggled to string the syllables together. "I can't move my leg. I guess… I guess that makes me a cripple now."

"Oh." As it all came together Karl took another look at the door. He didn't have the heart to walk through it. His own legs suddenly felt like lead weights. Putting one of the heavy, clumsy limbs in front of the other he walked back to the chair he'd left and sat back down. Lynn still wasn't looking. For a while he searched for something to say, but nothing came to mind. He was feeling surprisingly numb himself. Licking his lips, he decided to go with the positive. Anything positive would do. "Well, at least you're not a pregnant cripple, right?"

When Lynn's hands fell from her face Karl wasn't sure how to read the woman's expression. He could always tell when she was pissed. That one was easy. Happy was a piece of cake as well, and the wonderful thing about the woman was that she always let him know it. For better or worse Karl could read her like a book. Unfortunately the book he was currently reading was written in something he'd never seen before. "Yeah," she said nodding her head.

As alien as the new language was bits and pieces of it translated through as Lynn's head bobbed up and down. When he'd walked in the room there had only been one 'P' word, and it had been the worst 'P' word in the entire world. Now there were two 'P' words, and the one he had been worried about when he'd walked in was the lesser of them – and it wasn't the one they were facing. Slowly but surely her expression began to make sense. Karl wasn't surprised to see that it was fear. He was surprised when it was a fear he didn't recognize. Lynn had been terrified before. She'd been under fire more than once, and he'd been there next to her to witness it. It wasn't the same fear he saw when she was worried about getting hit. The woman could handle that. She wasn't afraid of bullets, just as she wasn't afraid of 'pregnant' or 'paralyzed' – she was afraid that he was.

"And uh…" Lynn was still staring up at him. Her eyes were always beautiful, but he couldn't look at them. The fear sent shivers down his own spine. Glancing frantically around the room he looked for something else positive. Susie's head was still pressed as low into the mattress as the woman could manage to push it, but he could still see the outline of her body beneath the bed sheets. Suddenly she looked a lot less pregnant than she had a few moments before. "I assume we won't have to save up for Susie's baby shower either, do we?"

"No," the woman in question yelled out almost immediately.

Karl still couldn't see Susie, but from the look on Lynn's face it was probably for the best. He didn't think he could stand the two of them staring up at him. It probably would have killed him right then and there. "Good." It was a bit of a relief, but in the end the blonde wasn't as important to him as his fiancée. Still, she was a Squad mate, and any relief to her would surely be a relief to Lynn as well. "And…" With a smile Karl turned back to where the woman was lying. She carried the same fearful expression that she'd been wearing before, but it didn't bother him anymore. A different thought had just run through his mind. "This means they're sending you home, right?"

Lynn didn't look much happier at his observation, but the look of fear in her eyes subsided a bit. It was replaced with something he found much more familiar, and quite a bit more heartening – confusion. "Yeah," she said slowly.

"And Susie?" he said without turning away from the woman in front of him.

"Well," the other woman said slowly, "I kind of don't have a knee anymore."

Though Susie wouldn't have been able to see it, Karl nodded. He'd carried her out of the ruined building, but he'd forgotten how badly she'd been injured. The bullet had taken most of the woman's joint with it as it tunneled its way through her leg. She wouldn't be able to put any weight on it for months, and it would be a very long time before she was up and walking on it the same way again – if ever. Odds were Susie was just as crippled as Lynn. "Then you two are going to have to take care of each other back in the world," Karl said. "You got that Susie? Make sure Lynn gets all the rest she needs. I know how she likes to burn her candles down."

"Sure thing," Susie said. Out of the corner of his eye Karl could see her head lift up above her shoulders again, and a little bit of confidence returned to her voice. "I already told her she could stay at my place if things didn't–" Catching herself, she covered the gap with a mock coughing fit.

It didn't fool anyone, least of all Karl. 'If things didn't work out.' The words echoed in his head a few times before cementing themselves in the back of his mind. They made him sick to his stomach. For the first time he realized just how deep Lynn's fear ran. There were many things Karl had run from in his lifetime. He wasn't going to add this onto the list. "I think that'd be good for both of you," he said. He was still smiling, and he could tell from her expression that Lynn was having just as difficult a time of reading him as he'd had a minute before in reading her. "At least, until the war ends and I can take her back to Fouzen. That still sound alright, Lynn?"

The woman didn't move for a long while. When she finally did, her face softened into something else Karl had never seen before. He couldn't read it, and unlike before nothing slowly started piecing itself together in his mind. While he'd thought he could read everything she threw his way, a single expression told him he still had a long, long way to go. He was alright with that. "You know, visiting hours are over," she said with a quick glance at the clock.

Karl looked back. Sure enough the big hand was already two minutes into the hour. It was time for him to go, but he didn't have to look back at the door to know that his butt wasn't leaving the chair. Lynn was afraid that he would be terrified of the 'P' word, and she was right – he was terrified. Knowing her he was more afraid of it than she was. That was alright. If she could deal with it so could he. There were thousands of words in the dictionary that started with all sorts of letters, and so long as Lynn was willing they'd scratch each one off as it came together. If the first one they tackled had to start with a 'P' then so be it. "Actually I think I changed my mind," he said. "I'll stick around for a while."

He still couldn't read her, but through the mysterious expression the faintest hint of her own smile forced its way into view. It was far more than Karl had ever needed. "How long?" she asked quietly.

Karl glanced back at the clock on the wall, but he didn't bother reading it. The time didn't matter and he honestly didn't care. It had been a long week, and there were going to be many long weeks ahead of him, but for the time being it didn't matter. There really wasn't anywhere else he wanted to be. "As long as I can," he said. When he turned back he knew he wouldn't be leaving for a long time. It had been difficult for him to look into her eyes before, but now he found that he couldn't look away. Behind him the big hand moved another tick along the clock's face.

Next: The Seeker