Chapter 35: Upon my soul
Enseir met Angolar's eyes as Tralied finished situating his armor for the march. The two eyed each other for a long moment, Enseir's lowering slightly in what might have been taken as relief when Angolar inclined his head shortly before following the commander into a separate room.
Zairil swept into the room the captains and commanders were using to prepare themselves before facing their troops only a moment after the door closed behind the first section's undisputed leader.
"Orc-ling!" Legolas yelped, mostly just attempting to remind her that the elves there could have been partly undressed… well, more than he was.
She laughed, moving unhesitatingly to him, poking his bare abdomen with a grin. "As if I haven't seen it before, prince-ling," she teased. Her smile faded and her brows grew to a frown as her gaze was drawn to the pinkness of the still new skin at one point on his chest. Her fingers ghosted over it as a sigh escaped from her lips. "Leaf."
He touched her cheek lightly, brushing her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. He tipped his head, kissing her brow, and smiled slightly at her concern. "I'm fine—you judged me so yourself."
"It should never have happened."
"Many things should never have happened, my dear Lady Zairil. Yet they happened, and more will happen… especially in the coming days. Not one shall come out unharmed, in some fashion or another."
"Many are already harmed," she countered quietly, looking up into darkening eyes.
He dropped his forehead to hers, and nodded slightly. "Yes," he agreed huskily, before stepping back to finish readying himself. He blinked at her own clothing, and lifted a brow. "Very nice, orc-ling."
"Isn't it?" she agreed, resting a light hand against one of the plates that covered her abdomen. She smiled faintly at his curiosity, but didn't satisfy it, rounding him to fasten his armor for him, instead. "Though it still seems a bit silly."
"Better silly than wanted," Enseir commented, turning her so her back faced him. He undid and redid several of the leather fastenings—correctly and snugly this time, before covering them securely with the final plate. "Cover them, lest you blind someone."
She laughed. "Wouldn't that help us, as they run from the light?"
"They march even now, to meet us."
She sobered with a sigh, and slid a tunic over her armor. "Ready when you are, Enseir."
Enseir lifted a brow. "With hair unbound? I'm surprised at you."
She blinked, reaching up to her hair. She smiled sheepishly and pulled her hair back into a tie at her nape, before picking up her pack, which clanged.
Legolas' brow quirked again, and he took the bag, peering into it. His eyes widened at what he found, and he looked sharply from her to Enseir.
"Join the others, Zairil," Enseir murmured after an instant.
Zairil looked between them curiously, and slowly turned to leave.
Enseir waited until the door closed behind her. "Would you rather I had left her exposed?"
"Of course not."
"You hadn't planned this."
"I thought she would join the other soldiers in the armory."
"The armor was not made for a female, Legolas. It would not fit her properly."
The brothers stared at each other for a long moment, mostly unaware that the others were discretely fleeing the room, feeling the gathering tension.
Enseir swallowed and looked away. "What truly angers you, brother? That I love her, or that you never realized you did?"
"Of course I love her, Enseir, we've been friends since not even a hundred!"
"Legolas…" Enseir closed his eyes. "If you will not face it, then know this. I love her, and she knows." He watched a flicker of uncertainty, of fear, appear in his brother's eyes. "As she knows I would never wish to draw you two apart. You are so much a part of each other… it's rather troubling, in such times as these."
Legolas looked away, at that, jaw tight for a long moment before all the vinegar left him. He brought a hand up to rub his temples, before dropping it with a sigh. "Promise me…"
Enseir gripped his shoulder tightly. "As I would have you promise me," he agreed. "Should one die, the other protects and loves as he would have, given the chance." His hand tightened almost desperately. "Swear it!"
Legolas drew in a pained gasp, and reflexively gripped the armored wrist that was so tightly holding his shoulder. "I swear it, upon my soul, though it would not be within me to do otherwise!" he protested.
Enseir relaxed only slightly, nodding once. "Though it may trouble you as your oath has only reassured me, I give you my word as well. I swear it will be done, should I live to do it." His hold fell, even as the door reopened. "They are waiting, I suppose?" he asked, light blue still locked with sapphire.
"That they are," the voice agreed with forced lightness.
They looked at her to see she knew something had passed between them, something as weighty as the war they were facing. Legolas drew her close, holding her tightly for a moment before striding from the room, all uncertainty gone from him as he moved to join Nimireth, the commander for the third section of the army.
"Agrithan is awaiting us," Zairil murmured softly, giving up on deciphering the shadows in Enseir's eyes.
"He will wait."
Zairil tilted her head, frowning slightly when the only thing he did was lightly brush a small section of her hair back behind her ear, where it promptly fell back to its previous place on her cheek. "Enseir?"
"These are dangerous times, Zairil. Elves should not be faced with mortality—it does not become them. It encourages them to tread fearless and graceless where they might otherwise never dare wander."
"Then I am mortal?" she asked with a faint smile.
He returned the smile, a fingertip lightly tracing the curve of her cheek. "No. You gain so much out of your years, and burn so brightly, that I have wondered many times how you retain the energy for it, but you are truly a lady, my dear Zairil." His hand wandered to her throat, tracing the pulse there before moving back up to her jaw. "And love for you encourages fearless gracelessness within me in these hours."
She stilled, her breath pausing in her throat. "Then I shall go with Tralied, and Angolar will accompany you and Agrithan."
He smiled once more, shaking his head slightly. "Battle does not frighten me."
"Battle frightens none who bear arms," she countered.
"Nor does death frighten me," he continued, making her look at him in confusion. "I know you think I'm contradicting myself, but I'm not. I do not fear Mandos—why should I? I also do not fear for you, should I be gone. Legolas will take care of you, as ever he has. So it is funny, then, that I am currently terrified."
"What?" She breathed the word, shaking her head slightly. "Enseir, if death and battle hold no horror for you, then what could possible frighten you?"
"There will be horrors seen, and horrors done, there is no doubt of that," he countered quietly. "But I fear the words I know you shall speak, for they shall slay me more certainly than any arrow or sword… which is why I ask not for them, not now. But my heart will no longer let me be silent, selfish fool that I am."
She reached up, cupping his cheek in her palm. "Enseir," she pleaded. "What are you going on about?"
"I know you would rather not face it, but I have known it… far longer than I should have. I knew before you were yet nine centuries—before I was even of age—that you were the one I could gladly bind my soul to. I also knew I would probably never tell you, as I knew how close to Legolas you were." He paused when she started to speak, and rested a finger over her lips, shaking his head. "This is my foolishness, Zairil, my greatest fear—losing you as I have always known I one day must. But death looms before us, grinning at me through my brother's eyes."
"You can't go into battle believing you'll die! It's madness!"
"Then it must run in the family," he mused, stopping further protests by touching her lips again. "So let me conclude my own insanity, lest it destroy me before this war has the chance. You know I love you, and not merely as a friend. Should we both return here at the battle's end, I wish to know if you would bind yourself to me. Do not answer until then, and do not consider it while need dictates you clothe yourself in metal. There is no time or place for such distractions."
She looked at him drolly, which earned her a light chuckle and a softer kiss. "Enseir," she sighed softly, shaking her head before resting it on his shoulder.
He closed his eyes with a slight sigh, and kissed her hair, holding her as closely as their armor would allow.