As always, thank you very much!
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto
Warning: Violence
Beta: Arcturus Antlia Black
And now for the moment you've all been waiting for...
"Draw a piece of paper" the Hokage instructed us as a bowl was passed around.
We obeyed.
"Now then I'd like you to tell us the number on that paper in order starting from left to right".
"5" Dosu, the only remaining sound-nin started.
"I got 3" Naruto muttered.
"7" Sasuke sulked.
"9" Temari answered.
"2" Kankuro replied
"8" Gaara aka Tanuki-panda replied flatly
"4" Neji stated.
"1" Shino continued.
"11" Shikamaru drawled.
"6" Haku reported.
"12" Hidan grumbled.
"10" I finished.
"Now I will reveal to you the final tournament!" Hiruzen announced.
"Huh?!" Naruto yelped.
"That's what we drew numbers for?!" Shikamaru's eyes went wide.
Ibiki flipped his clipboard in dramatic fashion. How I wished I could troll him.
Couldn't yet. Had to maintain cover.
But soon, very soon.
Since the pairs were even, everyone had a match.
Shino vs Kankuro, canon
Naruto vs Neji, more canon
Dosu vs Haku, now that would be interesting. Oh wait, Tanuki-panda feeds Dosu to Mother. Never mind. Automatic win then.
Sasuke vs Gaara, which was canon and would therefore be delayed.
Me vs Temari. Damn. I'd have to lose or forfeit. Why? Because the last match.
Hidan vs Shikamaru.
I really couldn't help it. I burst out laughing.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me! I gotta fight that shitty bastard?!" Hidan whined.
"Be careful Hida-kun!" I informed him. Giving him the code word to tell him to lose or forfeit his match too. Hidan sulked further, grumbling.
Haku gave me a look, wondering why I hadn't bothered tell him to win or lose his match.
"You'll do great Yuki-kun!" Aka wait and I'll tell you later.
Haku nodded in acceptance.
"You will have one month to train for these matches" Hiruzen informed us "Good luck".
"So I will not have to fight at all?" Haku asked as we all gathered in our hotel room.
"Nope. While we're waiting on the final matches Dosu pulls an idiot and outright challenges Tanuki-panda during a full moon. Shukaku is always worse during a full moon" I leaned back in my chair "I wonder if we can't somehow convince Pervy Sage to take a look at Tanuki-panda's seal. That way we can both later prevent his capture by the idiots and have poor Tanuki-panda sane".
"How the fuck do you suggest we do that, bitch?" Hidan grouched.
"It would be very difficult" Itachi sighed at having to agree with the zealot.
"I know. Cause we can't have his seal fixed until after the invasion, if we can even convince Pervy Sage to fix it at all. Otherwise, we'll lose a lot of the character development that happens" I sulked. "Maybe an anonymous letter?"
"Why the fuck would the damn Sage believe a fucking letter?" Hidan retorted.
"He's got a spy network" I was grasping at straws, I knew "If we could frame being one of his spies informing him of Tanuki-panda being a jinchuuriki with a faulty seal, he might just investigate".
"That's a very... uncertain plan" Haku was trying to be polite.
"A damn shitty plan if you ask me" Hidan didn't bother.
"I got nothing else" I pouted "And Pervy Sage is probably the only person with enough knowledge of Fuuinjutsu to fix Tanuki-panda's seal".
"Perhaps we can try" Itachi offered "It is not the best plan. But, Jiraiya is an unknown factor. It might not need to be the best plan. The Sannin might receive anonymous tips from his spies often. We can only hope he investigates".
"Tachi, can I borrow a crow then?" I gave the Uchiha the infamous puppy eyes. "We can deliver the message right before the final rounds. Where it'll be too late for Pervy Sage to fix the seal, even if he wants to".
"Then the invasion can occur like it is supposed to" Itachi nodded in understanding. He'd let me borrow a crow later, after the month had passed.
"How the fuck do we know if the pervert bastard will do anything?" Hidan demanded.
"We don't" I sighed.
"Then we can only hope" Haku offered, trying to be optimistic.
Some time later – Full moon
"Fucking sand-bastard is impressive" Hidan commented upon seeing the sand wave that was Gaara feeding Dosu to Mother.
The rest of us gave him a 'be quiet!' look.
We had to find the Sound/Sand people discussing the invasion so we could save Hayate.
There!
Hayate and the Sand sensei who's name I forgot flickered to the top of a building.
We were too far away!
Had to stop them!
"Haku" I murmured softly.
"Hai" he replied, moving through hand signs rapidly.
Just as they lunged for each other ice formed, freezing them in pace. Preventing either from attacking the other.
"Careful, Hayate-san" I spoke as we landed "This one has some nasty tricks".
Haku made another hand sign, releasing Hayate.
"W-who...?!" he stared at us coughing in confusion "Sakura genin?!"
"As a reward for helping, we'd like one thing. There's a woman called Tsunade. If you ever get the chance, you're to go talk to her about your illness" I smiled.
"What?! Why? Why are you-"
Itachi held up a hand, stopping Hayate ramble "Go Hayate-san. We'll handle this".
Hayate paused, unsure.
"Fucking go already bastard" Hidan stalked for the Sand sensei.
Finally, nodding, Hayate flickered away.
"Now bastard, I haven't fucking sacrificed anyone to Jashin-sama in damn forever" Hidan drew a kunai, not going to bother with his scythe since Haku had the man frozen in place "Let's do this nice and fucking slow".
A long while later. Back at the hotel
"So now Leaf knows of the Sand/Sound alliance" I was rather satisfied with our efforts. "Hope sickly Hayate does go to Tsunade".
"They also fucking know we're involved with this shit" Hidan pointed out.
"They will most likely pretend not to know anything. They'll want to spring the trap" Itachi mused "We will be under surveillance though".
"Pretend not to notice" Haku offered "Go about like it never happened".
"Because soon enough we get to show that pedo-snake isn't the only one that can sneak into Konoha" I grinned.
The Final Tournament
Genma was standing there waiting for us as we arrived. Guess Hayate was laying low.
Long time no see pervy senbon user!
I couldn't help my grin, practically hearing Mangetsu's voice going off in my head, yelling insults.
Ah, Snowy... it was too bad he had to be loyal to Kiri. I missed him sometimes.
"Yuki of Sakuragakure, your opponent has dropped out. You will have to wait for the winners of the first round to be decided before you receive an opponent" Genma informed Haku.
"Hai, proctor-san" Haku bowed slightly.
"All other matches will proceed as normal" Genma continued.
"Hey! What about Sasuke? He's not here yet!" Naruto protested.
"If he doesn't appear when it's time for his match, he will lose automatically" the senbon-user answered.
Pfft. Rather they'd just delay the match until Duck-butt graced us with his presence.
"First match, Shino Aburame of Konoha vs Kankuro of Suna" Genma announced.
"I forfeit" Kankuro proclaimed before we even had a chance to move.
"..." Shino was most likely giving him a death glare from behind his glasses.
"... Very well. Second match, Naruto Uzumaki of Konoha vs Neji Hyuuga of Konoha" Genma announced.
The two glared at each other as the rest of us went to the stands.
"Go Naruto!" I cheered shamelessly.
This fight was epic in both the manga and anime. Seeing it with my own eyes was going to be even more so.
I must say, seeing Naruto using therapy-jutsu on someone in person is rather impressive to watch.
"You kicked ass, Naruto!" I celebrated as he knocked Neji out.
"Next match" Genma announced.
Cue waiting around for no-show Duck-butt.
People started getting antsy.
"The match between Sasuke Uchiha of Konoha and Gaara of Suna has been delayed" Genma finally drawled after a while. "Next match. Temari of Suna vs Neko of Sakura".
"Forfeit!" I called, earning myself a glare from Temari and what I assumed was a confused/angry stare from one Tanuki-panda.
Sorry guys, gotta save my energy for the pedo-snake.
"...Very well" Genma sighed. "Next match Hida of Sakura vs Shikamaru of Konoha".
"Fucker" Hidan grumbled "That pineapple bastard".
"Save your energy" Itachi reminded.
"Fucking fine" Hidan sulked then raised his hand. "I fucking forfeit too!"
He earned himself surprised stares. Mostly for his language. Shikamaru was probably astounded that Hidan didn't want to fight him.
"... Fine" Genma sighed. Duck-butt was still a no show. He had to think quickly. "Next match, the default winners: Temari of Suna and Shikamaru of Konoha".
"Kick ass Shikamaru!" I cheered, back in fangirl mode.
"Do you seriously have to fucking cheer for that bastard?" Hidan complained.
"Oh be quiet, Hida-kun, he's not sticking you in a hole this time around".
Cue canon fight with Shikamaru's forfeit at the end.
Itachi released two birds. One was Dei's clay bird, which streaked off to signal the others. The other was the borrowed crow, carrying the message for Pervy Sage.
Almost time.
"As Sasuke Uchiha of Konoha is not here by default..."
Crack! A flash of lightning and Sasuke and Kakashi arrived in their overly dramatic way.
Show-offs.
"Then the next match will be Gaara of Suna vs Sasuke Uchiha of Konoha" Genma corrected himself.
"Go Panda-kun!" I cheered.
Itachi looked at me.
"I can't cheer for him without calling him Duck-butt, Karasu-sensei. And that gives away the game" I explained.
A pause before Itachi gave the closest thing to a sigh of resignation an Uchiha was capable of.
"There are more than eight ANBU this time around" Haku murmured as the fight began.
"Fucking old man got his shit straight with the damn info the sick fucker gave him" Hidan agreed.
"They will help drive off the invasion quickly" Itachi agreed quietly.
Sasuke bounced up the wall for the start of the Chidori.
"Others are fucking slow" Hidan commented.
"They probably just want a grand entrance" I laughed.
"They will be here" Itachi agreed.
"Even Zabuza-san wouldn't want to miss this fight" Haku nodded.
"Blood! My blood!" Tanuki-panda yelled in pain as the cocoon broke. I frowned. Poor adorable Tanuki-panda.
Glasses-creeper engaged the genjutsu.
"Kai!" the four of us released it from ourselves.
"Hope Dei remembers his bit" I murmured as the Sound Four leaped up to follow the fake Kazekage.
"Of fucking course he remembers. He wouldn't miss his damn chance for showing off his fucking art" Hidan scoffed.
"And in three... two... one" the giant three-headed snake appeared.
"Time yet, bitch?"
"Wait for it..."
Sasuke darted off after Gaara.
There was a large shadow.
"Objective complete, un!" came a familiar voice as the barrier around the Hokage went up.
"Now" I grinned.
Karasu-sensei jumped as the clay bird flew down, landed easily beside his partner.
Hida jumped for the roof, landing beside the miser, and produced ryo.
Yuki went off to the side, landed beside Zabuza on another roof with a smile.
I felt a familiar presence land beside me.
As one, my 'team' dispelled our henges and Itachi released his genjutsu.
"You have no idea how much I missed you, Koneko" the Shark informed, offering my things to me.
I undid the Sakura hitai-ate, replacing it with my usual scratched one. Then I donned my haori before giving Kisame a kiss.
"Missed you too. But for now, we should probably focus on the invasion" I smiled.
"I hate it went you're right" Kisame sulked, but reached for Samehada anyway.
I looked at the others.
Haku, Hidan, and Itachi were wearing their old things once more as well.
Yūgure was revealed in all our insane nuke-nin glory.
"Come on, Koneko. The faster we do this, the sooner I get to hold you" Kisame jumped into the fray, fully intent on cutting down any Sound shinobi he saw.
"Right behind you" I reached for my kusarigama, moving to fight with him.
The other partner pairs split up going in different directions to help Konoha fight off the invasion.
Poor Leaf shinobi wouldn't know what to make of a bunch of nuke-nins helping them.
"My second eternal rival!" Kisame paused mid-swing at a Sound nin "You've come to help! Yosh! Our fires of youth shall burn bright against these invaders!" The Shark's eye twitched but he nodded to the Green Beast in greeting.
Or Gai could just completely accept our help, no questions asked.
That works too.
The invasion was going rather quickly. Thanks to us and the fact the Hokage had more ANBU this time around, the invaders had been mostly routed.
"It's about time we got rid of that barrier and let Itachi have some real fun" Kisame mused.
"I agree. The fight with pedo-snake is getting too close to the Reaper Death Seal for my liking" I nodded. I made hand signs, making lightning spark wildly, signaling to the clay bird that had been helping keep the three-headed snake away from Konoha.
The bird instantly veered back to us.
The Zombie duo would handle the snake now. Hidan would enjoy the fun.
Zabuza and Haku could continue just killing Sound-nins like they'd been doing.
"Dei! Time for you to turn those idiots into art!" I called up.
"On it, un!" Deidara smirked. "Katsu!"
Four small explosions.
The sound four were sent flying, dispelling the two barriers they'd put up.
"Have fun Tachi!" I grinned as the Uchiha flickered into the trees made by the Shodai Hokage.
Itachi POV
"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu" he launched a fireball at the snake and the two dead Hokages, forcing them back.
"You alright, Hokage-sama?" he questioned as he landed beside Hiruzen "There's no need for the Death seal now".
Hiruzen stared at him in shock but nodded.
"Why...?"
"Yūgure seeks to change fate. And I am still Konoha's Uchiha Itachi" he answered, turning to face the three opponents.
"My, my, Itachi-kun. Wasn't expecting to be facing you during this invasion" the snake hissed with a smirk.
"Orochimaru. It is in your best interest to retreat" he knew his Mangekyo would be spinning in clear threat as he motioned to the fact the barrier was gone. "Or I will make you".
"Make me?" the snake laughed at him "And how do you intend to do that?"
Hiruzen used the Reaper seal to make it so pedo-snake couldn't use his arms or do anymore jutsu. Toki had told him this earlier.
What he intended would most likely have the same effect.
"Not going to attack first? Then I will" The two Hokages lashed out at him.
A wall of orange easily deflected the attacks.
"W-what..?!" Orchimaru hissed at seeing the ethereal beast form around himself and the Sandaime.
"Susano'o" he answered, feeling himself smirk "A defense even you cannot counter. An ability granted by the Mangekyo".
"Allow me to show you another. Amaterasu" black flames flared to life, first consuming the former Hokages, then going to latch onto the snake's arms.
Orochimaru screeched in pain.
He flickered forward, moving to so that the snake was forced to meet his deadly gaze.
"And the final one. Tsukuyomi".
The bastard was his.
By the time the snake was released from the torture, Amaterasu would have damaged his arms beyond repair.
Stealing away all of the snake's jutsu.
It was a shame he couldn't kill him yet.
But soon... very soon.
Normal POV
"Kisame" I spoke as we ran where the fight with Gaara should be occurring
"Yes, Koneko?" the Shark grinned at me
"Remind me to never ever piss off Itachi".
"Will do. Itachi-san is rather terrifying when pissed".
We landed just as Sasuke and the remaining two Sand siblings did.
"All done with therapy-jutsu, I see. Poor Naru and Tanuki-panda. You guys look rather rough" I chirped.
"P-panda?" Gaara stared at me wide-eyed. He recognized the nickname.
"The rogue kunoichi we keep meeting" Sasuke glared at me.
"Ne... names?" Naruto was so exhausted he could only manage a smile and a few words.
"I'm Toki Sudachi" I went over to them both, giving them a light does of medical ninjutsu. "I was posing as Neko earlier". Tanuki-panda's eyes widened further as I confirmed his suspicions. Naruto gaped at me.
"Y-you!" he pointed in shock.
"Kisame Hoshigaki" the Shark introduced himself "You three," a nod to the Sand Siblings, "were under orders from a false leader. Orochimaru killed the true Kazekage".
"What?!" the older siblings protested as poor Tanuki-panda tried to recover his brain.
"There, that should help ease the ache" I stepped back from the two jinchuuriki. I even went over to slightly help Duck-butt and Sakura. "I don't have enough energy left over from the invasion to help more".
"You three should go" Kisame informed the Suna shinobi "There's no more point in being here".
Kankuro and Temari looked at each other before moving to collect their brother.
"Don't forget Panda-kun. I've unofficially adopted you" I winked at Gaara. He was still giving me that blank shocked stare.
"Why was I not consulted in this, Koneko?" Kisame gave me a flat stare.
"But Kisame~ He's adorable~!" I protested.
The Shark scowled at me.
"Actually, there's one more thing before you three leave" I knew this voice.
I turned, doing my best not to hop about excitedly.
Pervy Sage!
Jashin damn it! I can't fangirl over him right now!
"Your brother's seal does appear to need some work. That tip I got was rather accurate" Jiraiya glanced at us.
"Guilty as charged" I smiled back.
The Sannin stared at Kisame and I. He made no offensive moves. He'd most likely seen, if not us specifically, our other members helping out during the invasion.
"Yūgure... you are very strange nuke-nins" Jiraiya muttered at us before turning his attention back to the Sand Siblings. "Come on then. Let's find a more open area. I'll take a look at that seal and see what I can do".
There was obvious hesitation from them.
"Don't worry, Panda-kun. Pervy Sage means no harm" I promised.
"Y-yeah, you can trust the pervert" Naruto echoed with a smile.
Gaara considered for a few more moments. "Temari... Kankuro.. I'm sorry" he apologized to his siblings for his earlier behavior. Then he nodded to Jiraiya.
"Follow me then" the Sannin led them off.
"Adopting a jinchuuuriki, Koneko?" Kisame questioned again, still irritable "Why am I not surprised?"
"I'm keeping him" I pouted.
"I'm aware of this. Doesn't mean I'm happy about it" the Shark sighed "Come on, let's go make sure the others don't end up in ANBU cells". He turned back for Konoha. We'd only come to make sure this fight had gone according to canon.
I grinned at Team 7 "Ja ne!". Then I followed after my partner once more.
A few moments later – Team 7
"They are... very strange" Sakura murmured, after the two nuke-nin were gone. She couldn't believe the kunoichi had bothered to heal them... She wished she could heal and be useful...
"I like them! I'll make sure to be their friend! Believe it!" Naruto grinned. He was just happy that she'd eased the ache in his muscles.
"Hn" Sasuke didn't comment, but his mind was whirling. They were in the same group Itachi was in. But they'd helped... If they weren't bad...
Then Itachi...
Aniki...
This was so confusing.
Some time later – Hiruzen POV
He leveled his gaze at the eight nuke-nin standing openly before him.
"I think we're done here" the Shark, a nuke-nin he knew as Kisame spoke, legendary Samehada on his back "Your invasion has been successfully thwarted".
"Jiji, you need to be more careful" the sole kunoichi smiled. She was Toki Sudachi, known partner to the Shark-nin.
The ANBU had given him reports of them. This was the same kunoichi they'd had in T&I. Yet these two had brought slaughter to Konoha's enemies.
He looked at Itachi and the blond one that appeared to be his partner, a nuke-nin the Bingo Book listed as Deidara. If it wasn't for those two, he'd be dead.
A glance at the masked shinobi and the scythe-wielder. Kakuzu and Hidan if the rumors were true. They'd been part of the only reason that three-headed snake had done so little damage.
The final pair. A nuke-nin he knew as Zabuza Momochi and a younger male he did not know. Kubikiribōchō was gleaming sharp in Zabuza's hold, having fed off the blood of Sound-nins. The younger male had been cleaning his senbon of the same blood earlier.
"Who are you?" he questioned. Itachi had given him a name earlier, but he wanted conformation.
"Yūgure" Kisame answered simply.
A signal from a sensor nin. This was mostly the same group that had dispatched Danzō.
And now they helped with this invasion.
"Sir?" an ANBU questioned as the group moved to leave.
"Let them go" he replied as they took off on clay birds, vanishing quickly "I have another task. One for the Sannin Jiraiya. Hopefully he'll take Naruto with him".
"Hai, Hokage-sama?"
"If it weren't for them, this would've ended much worse" he admitted "It's time I stepped down as Hokage. I know Jiraiya will not want the position. So I'm sending him after someone else".
"Who, Hokage-sama?"
"Tsunade-hime. She will become Gondaime Hokage".
"Hai, Hokage-sama"
Some Distance Away – Normal POV
"Well, now we wait. More watching Konoha carefully. There should be an Akatsuki pair appearing soon, chasing after Naruto. In two days if I remember right" I sighed, flopping onto the ground. "After that comes the Sound Four where pedo-snake tries luring Duck-butt away"
I found myself picked up then replaced in one Shark's lap as he stole my spot from me.
"Kisame's and I's replacements" Itachi stated simply. "They will not succeed, but we should see who they are. The more important matter, however, is Orochimaru"
"I can't believe you refrained from killing him, yeah" Deidara observed "I would've turned him into art, un".
"The Sound Four chase is needed" Itachi had seen my memories. He knew what this chase would mean for the Sand Siblings and the Rookie 9.
"Tachi's right. We need identities of the new Akatsuki" I nodded."Then, Duck-butt and Naruto really should fight it out at the Valley of the end. We'll intervene before Duck-butt can leave. Tachi gets to kill pedo-snake this time around. Glasses-creeper is fair game to anybody that wants him. The bounties are Kakuzu's".
"We fucking know already" Hidan scoffed.
"I still can't believe you unofficially adopted a jinchuuriki" Kisame grumbled at me. "I'm not sharing you"
"I fully intend on reminding him that I've done so periodically too" I smiled back. "Kisame, I have no intentions of being shared. Doesn't mean I can't adopt adorable tanuki-pandas. Come on, don't you want the Kazekage for a son? And he'd make a great honorary member of this insanity".
"Koneko, I worry for what little sanity I grant you have".
"You know you love me".
"Doesn't mean you're not insane".
Poor Kisame. Now you're stuck with your Koneko unofficially adopting Tanuki-pandas.
Hehe pedo-snake. Victim to not one but all three dangerous abilities of the Mangekyo. Lucky that Tachi knows you're needed alive. For now. Doesn't mean he can't cause you a world of hurt before he gets to kill you.
Note –A review kindly pointed out that the Akatsuki cloud doesn't exactly suit this story as an image. I agree. The problem is that Yugure and KisaToki images only exist in my head. Suggestions on what to do? (Also note I can't draw. AT ALL. So I can't create an image myself)
Next time – "The new Akatsuki should be showing up soon. Wonder who's-"
"Look Sasori-sempai! Tobi's a good boy!"
"Fuck"
"Koneko, I believe now is a good time to start running".