This may be hard to read. Ana is going on a date...let's remember she is 22 and has every right to explore her options. I won't make her slutty or mean so don't panic. Ana just wants to make sure what she feels for Christian is real and special.

Chapter 37

By Monday I am relaxed and prepared to face the week. Tonight will be an experience. It's not that I have never dated, but that was back when my life was less complicated and I felt free to date casually with no regrets or preconceived ideas of love. Christian has turned my once safe and blissful world upside down. What will I do if I really like Jacob? Could I date him regularly while being in love with someone else? I decide to stop over thinking it all. It's one date. For all I know he may not even ask me out again. Work is a welcomed distraction to my added life drama. I stay in for lunch and as 5:30 grows closer my nerves are getting out of control. My cell rings. Oh crap, it's Christian. Should I ignore it? Damn it. What to do? I bite the bullet and answer just before it goes to voicemail.

"Hello." I say flatly. I can't let him hear me waiver.

"Hey, I am sorry to bother you at work. I know I said I would give you space, but I had an idea."

"Okay?"

"I was curious if I could ask you out on a date. Before you say no, hear me out. I want to start over with you. No pressure. Just a guy asking a girl on a casual date to get to know her, I want to do what I should have done before. Are you free tonight?"

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. How do I tell him I already have a date tonight? I decide that wouldn't be wise. God only knows how he may react.

"Christian, I wish I could. I already have plans this evening. I will admit it sounds nice to start with a clean slate although I have to say I am not sure you have it in you to take the slow route. You are so used to getting your way."

"If you remember correctly you have been a challenge since the day I met you. You have never just given me my way. I wouldn't change a thing about you. I have met my equal and I am determined to show you the extreme measures I am willing to take in order to win your heart back. I am sorry that you have plans. What about tomorrow night? Do you think you could humor me for one date?"

I cave, "One date. I can't promise anything."

"Okay, I promise you won't regret this Ana. I'll pick you up tomorrow night 7 pm at your apartment."

I hang up. I have to make this work. I can't lose her again. I will have to get a pep talk before from John. Hopefully, this will be a new beginning.

Ana

Jacob is right on time. We take the subway to into SOHO.

"I wanted you to get the full New York experience. We can take a cab to get you home, but I wasn't sure if you had taken the subway yet?"

"Actually I haven't I didn't want to attempt it by myself," I say smiling.

"I thought we could eat an early dinner, then walk around the neighborhood stopping anywhere that catches your eye then I have a surprise for later."

"Sounds great," I follow him to a restaurant.

The sign says Ba'al Café. Jacob explains that they serve falafel.

"Have you ever had a falafel?" He asks.

"Never, what in the world is it?"

"It is a middle eastern sandwich for an easy explanation. I lived on these when I was at NYU."

"You went to NYU too? Is that where you met Kelly?"

"Yes we had a class together Freshmen year and ended up in a study group together. The rest is history."

"Did you and Kelly date?"

"No it was never like that with Kelly. She was in a relationship when we first met and though we had a lot in common it became more like a brother-sister kind of thing. She helped me learn the ropes of the city. Being a country boy in NYC can be a very scary thing."

"Where are you from?"

"I grew up in a small town outside of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I got a scholarship to NYU to study music education. During my undergrad studies a few guys got together and formed a band. I currently teach music at a local private academy. The band is really just for fun. Of course I wouldn't complain if we made it big. I just got accepted to graduate school and I am afraid it may interfere with pursuing the band seriously."

"Wow! You are quite busy. How did you even find the time for this evening?" I smile.

"It sounds a lot worse than it really is. Since I teach, I am off for the summer and I spend my days writing and composing. When the school year begins I am sure I will be very busy but I always make time for my friends," he says touching Ana's hand.

NOTHING! I felt not one thing. No shiver, no goose bumps, and definitely no electricity like I have always felt with Christian. Nonetheless, I am enjoying his company. I will see this evening through. Maybe something will spark. We continue discussing his plans for the future through dinner. I think it should bother me that he talks about himself a lot. It doesn't, he is not arrogant or self-consumed he is just sharing his dreams. It is endearing and I find myself asking more questions. After dinner, which I found delicious we walk through SOHO stopping at a few boutiques. My favorite was definitely What Goes Around Comes Around. I will have to come back and shop another day. The entire trip Jacob asks questions about me. He is not surprised that I was an English Lit major and even comments that I remind him of Kelly in many ways, just not quite as over the top. The way he said it I took as a compliment. Around 8 pm we walk to a bookstore on Crosby. Housing Works Book Store is love at first sight. I am struck by the wood floors and the smell, a combination of books and coffee.

"I figured you would love this place. I assumed that working for Williams Publishing insured a love of books. This store is very popular among all NYU students. All the profits go directly to Housing Works. They are a non-profit that helps the homeless and those living with HIV/AIDS. I hope you like. Please browse and I will be in the music section," He winks.

"I love it! I could spend the entire day here. Thanks so much for sharing it with me."

"Sure, if you can't find me I'll be in the café. We can have some dessert there."

I spend the next hour combing through the books. This is like heaven for me. I love being able to hold a book in my hands, how the pages feel under my fingers and the smell as you flip the pages. I haven't embraced the digital era of book reading. There is nothing like holding a book and dog earing the pages as you read. I decide that this weekend I will come back and spend more time getting to know this store. I don't want to keep Jacob waiting so I head to the café. I decide on hot tea and some banana chocolate bread. We find a seat and munch on our goodies. Around 10:30 pm Jacob hails a cab. He rides up town to drop me home. He walks me up to the front door. He leans down and kisses me on the lips. I wait for some kind of spark, it never comes. The kiss is nice, his lips are soft, but they are not Christian's. Suddenly, I remember that Christian is right across the street. He could be watching this. This might just put him over the edge. I have to admit if I saw Christian kiss another woman I would lose my mind. I wait outside until Jacob gets back in the cab with promises to call and leaves. Glancing across the street I notice Christian headed straight for me. I can see the rage in his walk. How in the hell am I going to explain this? I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't linger in the kiss. I am not even with Christian. Why did I feel guilty and how am I going to get him to calm down?

"What the hell Ana? Why are you kissing some random guy when you agreed to go on a date with me? Is this why you couldn't go out tonight, you already had a date? Damn it, are you over me?" I go from rage to hurt.

"Christian, I am so sorry you saw that. Yes, I had a date tonight. Kelly fixed me up and I thought I should go and see if what I feel for you is real? I don't have much experience in the dating world. I needed to create some reference points. It slipped my mind that you may have witnessed him kissing me. I'm sorry if I hurt you." I reach up and touch his face.

"Do you like him?"

"He's nice. We have a lot in common. I think he could be a good friend."

"Friend? Are you going to go out with him again?"

"I don't know, but I know I am going out with you tomorrow night."

"I don't share Ana. You know this. I can give up everything about the old me, but that is one thing I cannot compromise on. I don't expect you to commit your life to me, but I would like you to date me exclusively. Do you think you can do that?"

"I don't know Christian. I am not ready to commit to you. Love isn't trust, Christian. The funny thing is you are questioning my integrity when you were the one that broke us. Are you afraid I am just going to jump into bed with every guy that takes me out? Please, remember that I was the one that kept myself until 22. If you think I never had the opportunity to have sex until you, please think again. I chose to wait. I am sure I can keep myself from stumbling into every bed that presents itself. I am going to go upstairs now. Please think about what I have said. If you still want to go out tomorrow night I will be ready at 7 pm, if not I guess I'll know where we stand. Good night Christian." I kiss his cheek (there is that spark I was waiting for with Jacob) and turn to go.