Chapter 37
Dean
"I'm not putting it down until I know for sure," Serra whispered, standing over the bed I laid in. I wanted to open my eyes, but the idea of seeing what I had done was too much. I wanted to stay ignorant for a few seconds longer.
Grace's voice spoke next, obviously in the midst of an argument with her sister. Big surprise. "Jesus, Serra, the first thing he's going to see when he wakes up is you staring at him all intense with a giant sword over him."
"Good," she spat, "that way he'll know where he stands."
Grace clicked her tongue, obviously disapproving of her sister's actions, but secretly I was grateful that Serra was such a badass. I knew she would do anything to keep Grace safe, which was exactly why I trusted her so much. I could hear Sam breathing quietly in the background, watching the entire exchange in silence.
Typical.
Slowly, I tried opening my eyes, but everything was insanely bright. It was like a fog had been lifted around me and the sun shone with an intensity I wasn't ready for. I tried bringing my hand up to shield my face from the light, but I was tied down, completely unable to move.
Good job, girls.
"I can hear him thinking," Grace said quietly. "I haven't been able to hear him in weeks."
"What does that mean?" Serra asked, moving closer to the side of the bed.
I could feel Grace's body heat as she moved to touch my skin. "I think it means he's okay," she answered, a smile in her voice.
Trying to open my eyes once more, I tilted my head towards my wife and found her face. Everything was blurry, like I had been asleep for months. Really, I had been.
My voice was rough when I greeted Grace. "Hi gorgeous," I whispered, attempting my best smile.
Her face lit up with a grin, tears flooding her eyes and she reached out to touch my face as she automatically replied, "Hey stranger." She glanced up at Serra and nodded once. Apparently that was enough for her, because Serra immediately lowered the Knight Blade and approached the bed. "Are you okay?" Grace asked, pulling the chair closer to sit at my side. Sam took a couple of steps towards the bed as well, staring down at me pathetically.
Closing my eyes, I nodded slowly. "I think so," I said, trying to keep my eyes open. "I'm just so tired." I turned my head to stare at Grace, verifying that she was just as beautiful as she had been when I left. I inspected her neck and shoulder, where I remembered pressing an angel blade so hard into her neck that I broke skin and where I…shot her. Tears came to my eyes, and I fought them, trying to keep control. "Are you okay? Holy shit, Grace, I shot you. I'm so sorry."
She reached out to touch my face tenderly and I made the move to hold her hand, but my arm was held in place by the restraints that we attached to the bed frame. "It's okay, Dee," she whispered, leaning towards me. "It wasn't you. It was the spell."
Serra and Sam backed away, giving us some space. Sammy lingered in the doorway, not completely trusting me yet, and for that I was grateful.
"It was like I was living some fucking nightmare," I said into her shoulder as she leaned over me. "I would try to stop and the spell would push me on…" I gasped for breath, trying to keep the sobs at bay. "There was nothing I could do. It wanted to kill you so badly."
Grace wiped my face and shook her head. "But you didn't," she said. "You held your own."
"Only because it was a terrible shot."
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. "I knew you wouldn't be able to kill me, Dean. There was never a part of my mind that doubted you."
I shook my head. "There should have been," I whispered, staring into her face. "The things I've done. There shouldn't be a reason left for you to still be with me."
Grace sighed heavily, shaking her head. "Shut up," she whispered, scooting as close as she could to me. "I love you. That should be enough."
"I don't think you understand, Grace," I said, arguing. "It hasn't just been about violence and killing people…this thing craved you. The only way I could get by some nights was finding a woman that…"
Grace cut me off, "I know." She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "That was the demon. The demon isn't married to me. You are." She entwined her fingers with mine and shrugged. "You just happened to share the same body."
I closed my eyes, unable to stare at my wife's forgiving face any longer. She shouldn't be forgiving me for the infidelity. She shouldn't be forgiving me for running away, and she really shouldn't be forgiving me for trying to kill her, multiple times, but there she was, sitting at my bedside, holding my hand as I confessed.
"Why are you forgiving me?" I gasped.
"Because it wasn't you, idiot. It was the spell. It's not like you chose to go out and fuck someone else." I looked away from her when she said it, hating myself. "Dean, look at me," she demanded. I turned again, staring into her deep blue eyes. She continued, "You are my husband and the father of my children. I picked you because I knew you would do anything to keep us safe. You did. You left."
I made a face and shook my head. "How long was I gone?"
Grace stood slowly; revealing the bump her position had been hiding. "You've been gone twenty weeks. I only know because she's at ninteen." Tears that I had been fighting to keep at bay were now streaming down the side of my head. I closed my eyes and turned my head away from her. Grace reached out with her hand and gently turned my head back towards her body. "I knew you wouldn't hurt us."
I nodded my head, knowing Grace was right.
She brushed her fingers through my hair and bent to kiss my head. "Close your eyes. Sleep," she said quietly. "You probably haven't slept in weeks." Already, I could feel the pull of unconsciousness dragging me down. "We'll all be here when you wake up."