Don't listen ta him!

Disclaimer: Rooster Teeth owns Red vs Blue, guys. You'd have to be Caboose to think we do.

~•~

"Stop right there!" Grif ordered.

"No."

"I won't let you come any further! They're mine."

"What're yours?"

"If I told you that, you'd have more reason to take them from me!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about.."

"Great. Now go!"

"I'm gonna keep walking." And then she did. Grif's efforts to restrain her failed, and she soon came into a room with a rather large stack of Oreo packs. And other cookies. And ice cream. And just about every other delicious sweet you can think of.

"What the fuck."

"If you take anything, you'll regret it!" Grif yelled, running after her.

"No, I wouldn't."

"Yes. Just- leave!"

"Well, I can't exactly see where I'm going.."

"Why don't you... Just turn around, and walk through the door, away from my yearly supply of food!"

"Why do you have this anyways? How do you move it around?"

"Why would I want to move it around?"

"Cause you go places.."

"What makes you think I would ever want to move this stuff around? It's too heavy, who do you think I am?"

"...Maybe you could move it by eating it.."

"Well, I'm in the process of that." After Grif spoke, he plopped an Oreo in his mouth.

"How did you- nevermind, Wash probably taught you."

"I don't know how you people live when you have to take your helmet off just to eat something."

"I'm not sure how you get the food into your helmet."

"You don't deserve the sacred knowledge."

"I'm not sure I want to know either."

"Good. I wasn't going to tell you. Explaining it would be too much work."

"Everything is too much work to you. How do you live?"

"Give me a stack of food like this, and I'm set for life."

"You mean, for a week. Tops."

Actually, it's a never ending supply. Courtesy of yours truly.

"This stuff never runs out! I've had it for months!"

"What?"

"Everytime I begin to get low on food, it just refills itself!"

"The fuck."

"I was going to try and find out why, but thinking about it proved to be too much work."

"Everything is always too much work. Why are you still alive?"

"Is it weird that I don't know?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well, I don't."

"..."

"..."

"Sarge, wherever you are, come here."

"..."

"I'm going to find him, and then we're going to blow you up." Texas went.. somewhere..

"TEXAS!" Silver popped in front of her. "Follow me!"

"AAAA WHERE AM I WHY ARE YOU MAD?"

"No! I need you to help me teach Felix something!" She started dragging her.

"...Okay." Texas didn't resist being dragged. "Teach him what?"

"How to knock on doors!"

"What. Why? Why doesn't he know?"

"Because he never does!"

"Maybe that's like, a lifestyle choice or something. One day he'll walk in on someone banging and he'll learn."

"Better if he learns now!" Silver spotted the man, "Hey! Felix!"

"Hello!" Texas waved at him

"What?" Felix turned around.

"You need to learn how to knock apparently."

"I know how to knock fine!"

"Show me."

.:-:.

Flashback

Felix ran into Kimball's office without any warning. "Kimball! We need to talk!"

Kimball glanced up, "Felix? You need to knock next time. I could have been changing or something!"

...

Felix backed into the door to Palomo's room without realizing as he dodged another of Tucker's attempts to beat him.

"Oh, come on!" Tucker shouted.

"Uh..." Palomo stared at Felix who looked at him.

.:-:.

"I knock all the time!"

"No, you don't. Thanks, informative flashback."

"Told you he can't knock," Silver said, looking at Texas.

"Still seems like a lifestyle choice."

"Wait- what are you two talking about?" Felix asked.

A door materialized in front of him. "Knock, dude."

"What?"

"Knock. On the door."

Unable to see who was talking to him with the door in his way, Felix opened it up and stepped through without knocking.

"...Are you fucking kidding me?"

"See?" Silver elbowed her. "Impossible."

"No, I don't see, cause I'm blind. Felix, seriously, knock." There were now more doors in between him and the two authoress..es..

"Ugh, read?"

"You want me to knock you out?"

"KNOCK ON THE DOOR STUPID-FACE!"

"There's no reason to!"

"Just do it!"

"No!"

"YEEEESSS! KNOCK ON THE STUPID BEDAMNED DOOR!"

"Oh, just- fucking no!"

"Why not?"

"There's no reason to."

"So? Do it anyways!"

"Come here!" Felix ran through all of the doors until one of them hit him in the face. "Why you little!"

"You have to knock on the next door to unlock it. There you go, a reason."

"I'm not knocking!"

"Because you can't."

"Because I won't!"

"No, no, definitely because you can't."

"I can knock! I just won't"

"Then do it!"

"No!"

"Then you can't! There is simply no other reason as to why you would refuse to do a very simple polite thing!"

"But I'm not polite!"

"Even people who aren't polite do it!"

"I don't.." Silver whispered.

"Why do neither of you people knock."

"Okay, I do, but only half the time!" Silver clarified.

"..."

"I'm not knocking."

"You are very stubborn, Felix," Silver said.

"You're both stupid. I'm leaving. This is overrated." Texas disappeared. Hell, even throwing shoes at endless hordes of spiders is better than that.

"Am I done?" Felix asked.

"Yup, you did your job," Silver nodded. She handed him $10, and made the door disappear.

...

~•~

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