Chapter 36

Edward

April 2003

"Bella is here. Just come. It won't be weird. It won't be odd. She looks better. Just come. I swear it won't be difficult." Emmett sounds hopeful. He and Rosalie are having a small get together.

I knew she'd be there. It's why I didn't plan on going. It's also why I changed my plans.

"Okay," I say into the phone.

Other than what my parents tell me, I haven't heard much about Bella. I know she's started therapy again. She's been trying harder. She got a part time job at the grocery store. She hangs out with Rosalie when she can.

Despite living in a town this small, we don't run into each other. I started taking some classes at the junior college in Port Angeles to pass the time. My dad still wants me to attend a university. I'm not ready, but I'm almost there.

I'm driving up to Rosalie Hale's house. A small get together turns out to be a full blown party. Cars crowd the street and the sound of music fills the cold air. I smoke a cigarette to calm my nerves. My hood is up and my head is down.

She's here. She's the first person I see. I remember when it was just me and her. I think back to our first kiss. The sound of her voice echoes in my ears. The scent of her perfume fills the room. It's painful to see Bella. It's more hurtful when she sees me.

"Hey," I whisper, kissing her cheek.

She pushes her hair behind her ear. "Hi."

Bella doesn't wear her sunglasses anymore. She doesn't draw peace signs and hearts on her cheeks, either. She's grown. She's beautiful. Her exhaustion is apparent, though. She takes my hand easily. Bella follows me into a vacant room. We're staring at each other. We're kissing, and it's so fucking bitter sweet. I groan into her mouth. Her lips are soft. Her mouth is hot like summer. Emotion purges. We're rough, and harsh, and hurtful with our movements.

Bella pulls my hair. she breathes bitterly.

I lift her onto a dresser, pushing up her skirt up to her waist. I can't look into her eyes. We shouldn't do this, but I've missed her so much. I allow my body do the talking. My fingernails scratch down the sides of her thighs. I push her underwear to the side.

Bella pulls off my sweater. Breathing though clenched teeth, she unbuckles my belt. I expose her shoulder, and kiss her heated skin. Bella sighs. I grip behind her knees and pull her to the edge of the dresser. Her ass makes a screeching noise on the glossed wood. I kiss her mouth. Her center begs to be touched.

Her head falls back, opening up her neck.

With my length lined up, I push into her hard and forcefully. To be surrounded by Bella again is to die a happy and unfair death. My eyes clench closed, and I hide my face in her hair. Her arms are around my neck. Her legs are wrapped around my waist. She cries my name over and over and over. She screams.

"Do you feel me now?" I groan, pulling out and slamming back in.

She holds on as I thrust and stroke, powerfully. Bella pulls the desperate out of me. Her breathing is erratic and her hold is strong. This is us after almost a year: as fucked up as ever. When I feel the burn, I push in deeper. I never want to finish. Bella's body clenches around me.

"More. More. More," she begs.

The dresser hits the wall with a slam, slam, slam. We come together. She whispers my name and curses her love. The high is gone. All that is left is us. We're thoroughly fucked, and thoroughly unhappy. I empty into her body. The last of my thrusts are weaker.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. I pull out, but I don't move away.

She's breathing, gasping.

I punch the wall behind her. "Fuck!"

Bella flinches. She pushes me away. I can see myself flowing out of her center. She closes her legs and jumps down from the dresser. Bella leaves without a word, stumbling on her way out.

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HisSinger1 allowed me to use some of her original poetry in this chapter.