Chapter 33

Beneath the Surface

4 April 1997

The Great Hall was abuzz with idle chatter from both student and Professor alike. Suddenly a great streak of lightening flashed violently across the enchanted ceiling, followed immediately by several other smaller flashes. Soon after there was a thunderous boom that shook the windows. It was looking like it would be quite the storm.

Dumbledore raised his wand and silenced the ceiling. Most of those present in the hall turned their attention back to their food and idle chatter. But for myself, Jonathan, and those interested in Jonathan's progress, we rose to our feet with a bubbling excitement. It was time. Jonathan looked up at the staff table to make sure I was on my way too before he began leaving the Great Hall with Harry, Ron, and Hermione in tow.

"Kate," McGonagall said.

"I'm coming. I just… The baby is still hungry." I wrapped my sandwich in a napkin and grabbed my drink before following after her. We met the others in the Entrance Hall.

"Eww, Mum, what is that?" Jonathan pinched his nose and took a step back.

"It's called a sandwich, Jonathan," I waved it briefly in the air. "And it's my dinner." I took another bite.

"I think he means the smell," Ron clarified, the same look of disgust on his face.

"Oh! That's probably the pickled egg and radish sauce you're smelling. They really make it…"

"…Revolting?" Jonathan suggested.

I gave him a scathing look. "You wouldn't be so critical of my dieting choices if you were pregnant and your back felt as though you were gaining a stone a day."

"Well… I'm not, so I am critical."

"I really don't think we have time for this."

"I'm inclined to agree with Miss Granger," McGonagall said. "Where is your potion, Mr. Lupin?"

"It's in a dark, quiet place that no one can access but me. It really wasn't hard to find…if you know what to ask for."

"The Room of Requirement!" Hermione said as though it was obvious.

"Well done, Miss Granger. Fifty points to Gryffindor for your keenness."

Both Hermione and McGonagall gave Jonathan a severe look; he merely shrugged in response.

"It was worth a shot," he said. "Follow me, and please, Mum, keep that sandwich away from me."

I fell to the back as we began ascending the stairs. I really didn't see what the big deal was. The pickled egg and radish sauce really gave the sandwich that pizazz it needed. We met Remus on the seventh floor corridor just outside the Room of Requirement. Clearly he already knew where Jonathan hid his potion.

"Are you ready?" he asked. Jonathan looked to me before answering.

"If Mum's finished her sandwich."

I was just wiping the last crumbs from my mouth with my napkin, when he said as much and looked my way. I smiled and vanished the napkin. Remus, knowingly, held out a few breath mints. And Jonathan took a deep breath.

"I know you're all eager to see if I succeed, but if you don't mind, I'd like to finish this with just Mum."

"We'll come for you when we're ready for you to see," I said.

Jonathan called the room up and inside was not what I was expecting. I thought it would just be a simple room with a table holding his potion. Silly me. Jonathan called forth a dark forest. Complete with a trodden earth beneath my feet and thick gangly branches that blocked the moon light. It was authentic enough to awaken the Leopard within. Leo wanted to run and hunt, but I had to remind her that we were pregnant and that a transformation was not safe in our state.

There was a table, though; at least I had that right. It was small and round, and it held a small crystal phial. The potion inside looked to be the ideal viscosity. Jonathan and I approached the table together.

"Any last words of advice?" he asked.

"Drink it quickly and all at once. It's going to taste something foul so it's best to get it done in one go. Don't be afraid. It will hurt. Your bones will break as they shift to a new shape. Don't resist them; let them move. The pain is only temporary. And remember… I love you and I'm proud of you."

He rolled his eyes at the last part before grabbing the phial.

"I love you too, Mum." Then he tilted his head back and downed the potion.

XXX

I stepped back into the hall, hands clasped over my mouth, and eyes teary.

"Kate!" Remus quickly rushed forward, assuming something terrible. But I was smiling. "Jonathan?"

"He's fine," I said through my tears. "He's alright. Go on and see him," I ushered to the others but held Remus back.

"What is it? What aren't you telling me?"

"Remus…he's… he's our son. You have to remember that. He's brilliant and he's our son."

He was still confused, but when we walked in it became all too evident. The four legged creature ran around the others showing off its prowess. It had a long, straight tail, black silky fur, and pointed ears.

"He's a…"

"…Wolf," Remus finished. "He's a wolf."

"He's a black wolf, akin to the red wolf instead of the grey. He's a perfect blend of the two of us. He has my coloring and you're… He's more canine than feline, yes, but we knew that already, didn't we?"

I tried to reassure him, but I could see it on his face. One of his greatest fears had come to fruition. It was all there; the fear, the shame, and dare I say it, the disappointment. Jonathan was a wolf like his father.

I wasn't the only one to spot the look in Remus' eyes. As Jonathan's Animagus form caught sight of Remus, his demeanor quickly became that of a wounded dog. His ears dropped. His wagging tail stilled, and he gave a lonely, wounded whimper. The shock was enough to force him to change back.

The room was deathly quiet before Jonathan let out a near heart-breaking plea.

"Dad?"

The grief in Jonathan's voice was enough to snap Remus from his sullen thoughts. He shook his head and looked at Jonathan as though truly seeing him for the first time. Then he took the two steps forward and wrapped his arms tightly around him.

"My son. My son," he whispered, his shoulders shaking lightly as he did.

20 May 1997

It had been a long day in my office. I had several rolls of parchment from nearly every class to grade, and a review assessment for my fifth and seventh years. My back was killing me, and I was sure there were needles in my feet. The first thing I did upon entering my quarters, is sit on the soft sofa and prop my feet in Remus' lap. He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Please," I replied. "My feet are dying. It's a very long walk from my office to here."

He sighed before removing my shoes and mercifully began rubbing my feet. I let out a soft moan as I laid my head back.

"Oh, those hands of yours are pure magic, Remus."

"Yeah? These hands used to be used in other ways."

I bit my lip. "I remember."

"I miss those days," he said lowly.

I bit my lip harder. "I miss them too."

He slowly moved his hands from my feet and up my leg, kneading the muscles as he went.

"You know… when I accepted the patrol mission here, I thought it'd come with more….intimacy."

"Mr. Lupin! Did you accept the post just to have sex with me?"

"No. Not just. But I did think it would be one of the perks."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I do want to, it's just… I'm so sore all the time, or tired, or…hungry."

He chuckled.

"And then I… I don't… I don't feel sexy."

"What! Are you mad? You are the sexiest witch in the castle, and Minerva provides quite the competition."

I gave him the eye.

"It's true. She's strong, talented, fierce, and… I like my women older."

"You did not just… Unbelievable! I'm not that much older than you."

"Eight months. That's more than half a year."

"You know… I was considering letting you take me, but after that… no way." I pushed him off of me and sat up.

"I'm sorry. I love you."

"I love you too, but it's too late now. Besides, we have important matters to discuss."

"Like what?"

"Like…. Where we're going to live come June."

"Oh…" He sat up straight, his light-hearted mood gone.

"Now, I know you have ties to the cottage and if you tell me it's safe to raise our baby there, then I'll trust you; we'll make it work. But I also know, that you haven't been back there for more than a few hours since Christmas. You tell me, Remus."

"Nothing has happened there since Michael, but neither one of us have been there for it to happen. I… I won't risk the welfare of our child there. If Greyback is watching it still… He's not stepping a foot near our child."

I nodded. "Alright then. The cottage is out. That means we have to find a new place."

He ran his hands over his face and sighed heavily. That's when I pulled out a large envelope.

"I had to break out Katherine's old contacts," I said. "I wrote to my estate agent in Surrey, and told him that my husband and I were looking for a home to call our own."

He raised our brow in interest.

"I told him we wanted something with more isolation, something in the country, and that we wanted either a good cellar, a forest, or both.

He smiled and nodded.

"And I told him we wanted something with enough room to host family gatherings. Jonathan… As hard as it is to say, Jonathan is almost done with school, and though it is years away, I expect grandbabies."

He laughed. "That's, ah… Wow. I haven't even thought of that."

"And then there's Harry and Ginny too…"

"Wait? What?"

"Yeah, they're together now. Finally. She's fancied him since his first year, and he's been pining after her all year. You saw them at Christmas, right?"

"I was a little preoccupied with someone else at Christmas. So, what did the estate agent find? If anything?"

"I don't know. That's what this is." I held up the envelope again.

"You haven't gone through it yet?"

"No. I thought we could pick out our home together. I asked for floorplans and pictures, since I'm away at work and we need something as soon as school lets out."

"Well," he sighed. "Let's have a look then."

We didn't pick a home right away. It took a few weeks to go over the options and narrow the list. I'd set up a post box for the correspondences, and Tonks checked it regularly for me. When we had a few options we wanted to see firsthand, Remus went with Tonks, on her days off, to check them out.

The weeks passed quickly, and by the time I began issuing exams we had our final list of three houses. One was in Somerset, one in Devon, and the other in Cornwall. We were going to see them together at the start of summer.

14 June 1997

I stood at the base of the Astronomy Tower looking up and contemplating on whether or not I could climb it, when a familiar voice called out to me.

"Professor Dumbledore, how are you this evening?" I asked

"Well but weary," the aged Headmaster said. "How are you and the baby?"

"Oh, I'm afraid that list is far too long to cover now, not the least of which is weary…but well."

He smiled.

"I was wishing to look from the tower once more before I leave, but I'm not so sure I could make the climb. I'm so…eager to meet this baby of mine, and to have control of my body back."

I placed my hands on what felt like an over large belly.

"What brings you to the Astronomy Tower tonight?" I asked.

Dumbledore remained silent for a moment, and he looked as though he was deciding how to answer. He settled for something vague and unsettling

"Personal business. You need not concern yourself with it."

"Concern myself?"

At that moment I heard footsteps, and I looked up to see Harry round the distant corner. He seemed to draw back slightly when he saw the two of us together. Dumbledore showed no surprise at seeing him there, but I suddenly found myself enraged. I knew the two of them had been meeting in secret all year, about what I only had assumptions. It was almost everything I could do to hold back my anger.

"Sir." The sudden change in my tone grabbed Dumbledore's full attention. "We haven't always agreed on certain matters, especially when they concerned a certain person…" My eyes flicked briefly over his shoulder to Harry. "Nevertheless, I have always trusted you, respected your decision even when I didn't agree.

"But know this, whatever you are doing with my nephew, it had better be damn worth it. And you better be taking good care of him. Because if I discover he has been in any sort of danger… I won't care that you are Albus Dumbledore, mentor and friend; I will defend him with everything I have."

He smiled sadly. "Lily would be pleased to know that you have always been there for Harry. But even you must realize, Kate, that he will have to stand alone one day."

"No. He will never stand alone. He will always have us, his family to support him. Family isn't all about blood you know; we can choose. He has always been a part of mine. I may not have been able to give him the same magical concealment that Petunia gave, but he would have had so much more with me."

He sighed deeply. "Perhaps you are right. Perhaps I was wrong to deny you that right. I am truly sorry for the pain I've caused you these years."

I was surprised into silence by his words. I never expected for him to admit he might have been wrong.

Though Harry had fallen back and slowed his pace when he saw us, he still continued to approach. He looked cautiously between me and Dumbledore. I pushed back my anger and smiled brightly at Harry.

"Harry! Good evening. How did your exams go?"

He shrugged a shoulder, still slightly on edge. "Alright I suppose. How…How are you?"

"Tired. And sore. That's the norm these days however. I was just telling Professor Dumbledore, here, that I wanted to climb the tower and view the stars…but I don't think my feet will carry me. Perhaps I'll just return to my quarters for a small nap instead. That sounds quite lovely actually. I'll see you later, Harry. Professor."

I nodded to Dumbledore, and he returned my nod before I moved on. I paused at the corner and looked back only to see that he and Harry had climbed the tower together.

I returned to my quarters just as Remus was about to head out on patrol. He asked if I wanted to join him, but I told him I was far too tired. So I slept…and I woke a few hours later. I only woke because the baby became restless.

This was nothing out of the ordinary. Jonathan was constantly awake and kicking every time I wanted to sleep; this baby was the same. There were two tricks to calm it usually, and that was walking or having Remus talk to it; my voice alone wasn't enough. So I paced my quarters for a bit since Remus was still out. After two turns in my quarters, however, I decided I wanted a change of scenery.

So I grabbed my professor's robes, knowing it was quite chill in the castle at night no matter what time of year it was, and I left the safety of my room.

"You know, I don't think Remus would like you being out alone," Tonks said as I closed the door behind me.

"Well, you're free to walk with me, because this baby is not sleeping tonight," I said.

We walked and talked for a bit. It was nice to have the company, and the walk performed its task admirably. The baby was soon asleep once more. The problem now, though, was that I was awake. I had Tonks drop me off on the floor where my office was, so I could grade a few exams; I never took my work back to my quarters. She was reluctant to leave me, but I insisted that I would be fine.

I was halfway through the third exam when something suddenly felt… off. Something made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and Leo was prancing anxiously beneath the surface. I listened carefully… Were those…footsteps?

Several Oder members were patrolling the halls. Maybe it was one of them.

No. This… This felt different. I sniffed the air and that's when I caught it. There was a scent vaguely familiar to me. It almost smelled like… Remus, but with a bitter bite to it. I made to step out and check the corridor for what might be going on, and that's when he stepped into my office. I knew him at once by the many wanted posters around Hogsmeade.

Greyback.