Chapter Title: Chains and Wedges
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, Artie, Figgins, OCs, Brittany/Marisa, Puck, Mike/Wendy, Emma/Jack, Tina, Missy, Quinn, Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Will
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rachel's pranks are getting bigger and people are starting to notice.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~4,650
Spoilers: None
A/N: Song is Visit the Moon from Sesame Street. Thanks to bradstev for the prank idea, sort of.
If you don't want to be locked inside McKinley today, do not go. If you do, be prepared. It could be a long wait.
Looking at her cell phone, Santana has to wonder if maybe Rachel isn't being as cautious as she claims to be. If she was, would she be pulling such a big prank at the moment? Not to mention, Santana's willing to be bet this warning went out toa lotof people.
It does explain why they're not driving to school together today. Funny enough, Santana had been glad, since there's something she needs to do this morning without Rachel knowing. She spends the drive to Brittany's house worrying.
"Hey San," Brittany greets as she climbs into the car.
"Hey B," Santana says.
"What's wrong?"
"Didn't you get a text from the prankster this morning?"
Brittany nods. "I made sure my phone is fully charged. You know how long it takes them to figure things out."
"She's going to get caught."
"The argument could be made that she's already been caught," Brittany counters. "After all didn't Mike and Artie already figure it out? And technically, Finn?"
Santana groans. "Don't remind me."
"You shouldn't stress yourself out about it so much, San," Brittany continues. "Whatever happens, we'll deal with it."
"What if she gets expelled?" Santana asks.
"Then we'll deal with it," Brittany replies. "It'll be okay."
Santana sighs. "Fine. I'll try not to worry. But you'll have to remind me. A lot."
"Can do, S."
…
Rachel finds Mike waiting for her when she arrives at her locker.
"Morning Mike," she greets.
"Are you sure this is such a good idea?" he asks, holding up his cell phone.
"Am I sure that what is a good idea?"
"I got a text from the prankster, this morning," he says lowering his voice.
"Oh. That."
"Yes that."
"It'll be fine, Mike," Rachel assures him. "Everything's set and it should go off without a hitch."
"I admire the guts this takes, Rach," Mike says. "But if Artie and I were able to figure it out, what's to stop more people?"
"For that to happen," Rachel replies. "People would have to see me as something besides the loser glee captain, don't you think?"
"I guess."
"I know I'm taking some risks here, Mike," Rachel tells him. "But isn't that the point?"
"I just hope you know what you're doing."
…
Santana heads straight for the music room when she arrives at McKinley, separating from Brittany who heads towards her locker.
To Santana's relief, Tom Mercer is sitting at the piano, apparently writing a song. She clears her throat as she approaches him.
He turns slightly and looks surprised to find her standing there; she doesn't blame him. She feels odd too.
"Hey, Tom," she starts. "I don't know if you remember me? Santana Lopez? Rachel's girlfriend?"
"I know who you are, Santana," Tom replies, wryly. "What can I do for you?"
"I know we're not like friends exactly, but I was kinda hoping you could teach me to play the piano?"
"Uh, wouldn't a piano teacher be more appropriate?" Tom asks.
"Normally, yes," Santana answers. "But I want to sing a song to Rachel for her birthday and I thought playing the piano myself as well might be a nice touch. So I was hoping you could help me learn it?"
Tom sighs. "Why did it have to be a romantic gesture?"
"I'm sorry?"
"It's just that if I say no, Beatrice will yell at me for blocking the romance," Tom explains.
"I won't be telling anyone if you say no," Santana tells him.
"No, it's fine," Tom says. "Let me see the song before I decide anything."
Santana nods. She digs in her backpack for a moment before handing him some sheet music.
He sits back down and begins to slowly play the song.
Tom plays the song a bit slower than tempo as he reads it for the first time. Nonetheless, Santana can't help but quietly sing the words. Having just decided to play as well as sing, she already has the song memorized.
"Nice choice," Tom says once he finishes playing. "All right. I think I can teach you this. Though isn't Rachel's birthday in like two weeks?"
"Yeah," Santana replies. "I know, but I just thought of the idea a couple days ago. And it's not like we're starting completely from scratch."
"I can only do this before school though," Tom says. "Too much going on after."
"Me too," Santana replies. "That's just fine. Tomorrow?"
Tom pulls out his cell phone and checks the time. "We've got some time now. How about I show you something quick that you can work on? With only two weeks, we might as well start now."
Santana joins him on the bench. "Thanks a lot, Tom. I owe you."
…
According to Rachel, a little after second period begins is the perfect time to lock all the doors. Most of the smokers have gone in and because it's the first week of December, P.E. classes happen inside the gym.
Since McKinley hasn't changed it's period times for over two decades, Billy knows for sure that second period is well underway. He sends a text to his brothers and then quickly begins looping the chain around the door handles. He snaps the padlock and steps back to admire his work. He then grabs the bucket of tools, chains and locks that's at his feet and rushes to the front door. That is the one that's going to need the most reinforcing.
…
Something feels off to Principal Figgins. Sitting at his desk, Figgins can't help but feel nervous. He slowly stands. He listens. Nothing sounds out of the ordinary. He decides to take a walk around. Just in case.
…
Santana doesn't really pay attention in first or second period, instead going over what Tom told her about playing the piano. Her being glee will certainly help, but she's still worried. She wishes she'd come up with the idea a few weeks earlier. Despite the confidence she had when talking with Tom, Santana's not really sure if she can learn the song in two weeks.
…
When Figgins reaches the front door, he sees movement in one of the windows. It looks like people running away. Jogging towards the door, he pushes it harshly, intending to call after them, but instead he slams into an unmoving door and stumbles backwards.
"Son of a bitch," he grumbles, rubbing his forehead.
He steps forward slowly and pushes against the door. It gives a little, maybe an inch or two, before it stops. He does the same with the other door. It responds the same.
It seems that his uneasy feeling was correct. He takes off down the hall towards the other entrance.
…
Rachel's phone buzzes near the end of second period. She discretely reads the text.
It's done.
Smiling to herself, she puts her phone away and waits for the entertainment to begin.
…
After rushing to each door and finding it locked from the outside, Figgins lets himself have a moment of pure frustration, shaking the locked door until his ears are ringing from the metal clacking; after making sure he's alone first, of course.
Walking back to his office, he begins to outline a strategy. It might be possible to get the entire situation figured out without alerting the students. It could be his small victory against the prankster.
…
Rachel gets dragged to the choir room for lunch by Mike of all people.
"Don't you want to hear all the prankster speculation?" he asks.
"Not really," Rachel replies. "It's never anything new."
"Well maybe today will be different."
…
Not knowing exactly how the door is locked, Figgins isn't sure at first who to call. His first instinct is a locksmith, but he has a feeling, it won't be that easy. What he really needs is for someone to just lookat it and assess.
…
"Please don't take this the wrong way," Jack says. "But you seem more nervous than usual."
Emma looks at Jack in surprise. She thought she was hiding her anxiety well, apparently not. Then again, she and Jack have really gotten to know each other.
"Oh, I received a text this morning from the prankster," Emma explains. "But how did you know I was worried about something?"
"You fidget a bit more and you're slightly easier to distract."
"Oh."
Emma supposes she shouldn't be surprised since she and Jack have been having lunch together every day, usually in her office because it seems the safest. Emma occasionally worries that she's stopping Jack from getting to know the other faculty, but Jack assures her it's fine.
"Should I be worried?" Jack asks. "What ridiculousness is going to occur today?"
The knock on Emma's door happens before she can answer.
It's one of the office aids. Emma is pretty sure his name is Jeremy. He hands Jack a note and leaves without a word.
Jack opens the note and quickly scans it.
"It says we're locked in," he tells her. "But I have a feeling that you already knew that."
Emma nods.
"Figgins wants to keep the students in the dark as long as possible," Jack continues.
Still nodding, Emma says, "Makes sense. He's probably getting sick of the prankster continuously outsmarting us."
"You've never told anyone that the prankster warns you?"
"Uh, well one person knows," Emma replies. "But we don't really talk about it anymore."
"Oh?"
"Will Schuester? He's the glee club advisor? He and I used to both get warnings. But when this school year started, I got one and he didn't. We haven't really talked about what it means."
"Why not?"
"I'm not sure," Emma replies. "I mean, Iknow I don't want to have that conversation, but I'm not entirely sure why Will hasn't brought it up."
"Well I appreciate you extending the warnings to me as well," Jack says.
"I just wanted to make sure your time here doesn't scar you too much."
"You," Jack says. "Are adorably sweet."
Emma tries not to blush as she smiles her thanks.
…
It takes a lot of effort, but Figgins is finally able to convince Mitch, one of the janitors to go up to the roof and climb down to take a look at the door situation. It takes the promise of a two hundred dollar bonus stated on two separate cell phone videos before he'll agree.
Making sure he has a fully charged cell phone, Tony, the head janitor sends him up to the roof with a rope ladder. Watching him go, Tony has to wonder why they even have a rope ladder in the first place.
…
When Rachel and Mike arrive in the choir room, the speculation has already begun.
"What if the prank is that we're not actually locked in," Mercedes says. "After all, I haven't heard anything. Have you guys?"
"Please," Puck says. "Figgins doesn't want us to know. He probably figures we'll freak out."
"Of course we would," Artie says. "Who wants to be stuck in this place any longer than we have to be?"
"Why would the prankster play a prank on us?" Brittany asks. "I mean, he always warns us."
"Has anyone actually tried to go outside?" Tina asks.
"I have," Quinn says. "Doors are definitely locked."
"Why were you trying to go outside?" Santana asks.
Quinn shrugs. "I was curious."
"How long do you think we'll be stuck here?" Kurt questions the room.
"Depends on when Figgins figured it out," Santana replies.
"And how the doors are locked," Puck adds.
"I hope the prankster just glued all the doors shut," Brittany throws out.
Everyone stares at her in horror.
"That means we could be stuck in here for days," Kurt exclaims.
"Relax Hummel," Santana says. "I doubt the prankster glued the doors shut."
"Yeah," Mike adds. "He'd be stuck in here for days too."
"Unless he's not here today," Mercedes says. "What if he's just sitting outside laughing at us?"
"Does that mean you finally believe me when I say it's not me?" Santana asks Mercedes.
"Uh… I don't know."
"It's honest at least," Mike says.
"Who cares who it is?" Brittany questions. "As long as we keep getting warnings?"
"That's very pragmatic of you, Brittany," Rachel says.
"Thanks Rach." She grins widely. "Wait. That's good right?"
"Yes, Britt, that's good."
"Okay. Thanks."
…
By the end of lunch, it's all over the school that they're all locked in. A few of the burn outs had tried to sneak outside for a smoke, only to find all the doors blocked. Because of their annoyance, it doesn't take long for the information to get around.
…
Mitch goes to the front door first. He figures it's the most logical place to start. Looking at it, he can't help but sigh. He sees at least three thick locks attached to chains that are wrapped around the handles. Glancing at the door frame, he sees at least a dozen wedges fully stuck in between the door and the frame. The only space not taken up by the wooden wedges is instead taken up by the hinges.
He pulls out his cell phone and calls Tony. He explains the situation with as many details as possible. He then takes several pictures which he also sends to Tony. He then sits on the steps and waits for further instructions.
…
Marisa pokes her head into the choir room. She's surprised to see so many people inside. She waves shyly. "Hey guys."
"Hey," Brittany greets. "Where were you?"
"The whole school's buzzing about us being locked in," Marisa tells them. "But I guess you guys already knew that?"
"How does she know?" Kurt asks.
"About what?" Brittany asks.
"About us getting warnings," Mercedes says.
"Because I told her silly," Brittany says as she gets up and pulls Marisa into the room. "We are dating, after all."
Marisa feels herself blushing slightly. She thought most people know since she and Britt have been walking down the hall, holding hands for weeks.
"Why didn't I know that?" Kurt whispers loudly to Mercedes.
"Subtle, Hummel," Santana snickers.
Brittany sits and pulls Marisa into her lap.
"They're all over each other," Quinn says, sounding annoyed. "Like all the time. Why didn'tyou know that Kurt?"
"Too busy worrying about the damn prankster," Puck mutters.
"Or Q's gay panic," Santana mutters back.
"We can hear you guys," Kurt says.
"Whatever," Santana says. "Are we wrong?"
"Attention students."
Everyone looks up when Figgins' voice comes over the PA system.
"By now I'm sure everyone knows that we're locked inside the building. Please do no panic. The situation is being dealt with. Afternoon classes will continue as usual. We will update you when the problem has been fixed. Thank you for your cooperation."
The announcement is followed immediately by the bell. Everyone shuffles out of the choir room and heads towards their next class.
…
Since it seems like they have all the materials necessary to get the door open, Mitch is apparently going to take care of everything himself. He waits for the bucket to be lowered to the ground by Bob. Standing at the bottoms of the steps, just in case, he watches as Bob puts the bolt cutters in a white ten gallon bucket, ties some rope around the handle and then slowly drops the bucket to the ground.
Mitch takes out the bolt cutters and begins working on the locks. When they prove too thick for the bolt cutters, he decides to try the chains. They're not as thick and eventually by cutting the right links, the locks begin to fall onto the ground with a clank. He takes a few steps back, not wanting his feet to be crushed by the heavy looking locks.
The wedges are more difficult to deal with. They try a crowbar first. It mostly just cracks the wood, which unfortunately doesn't seem to loosen it. Next Mitch tries chiseling it, hoping that the force from the rubber mallet will push out the wedge better than the crowbar did. He ends up scraping the door frame more than anything else.
Bob suggests they use liquid Nitrogen on the wood and then it'll just shatter into pieces when it's hit. The only problem is they don't know where they can get liquid Nitrogen quickly or safely.
Following that line of thought, Mitch suggests fire. Tony immediately vetoes it as being too dangerous. However, after brainstorming for another twenty minutes, no other idea comes to mind, so Tony talks to Principal Figgins about it.
Seeing no other options, Figgins okays the project.
They start by covering the wedges with a tarp. Mitch then wets down everything around the wedges, including the ground to help deter the fire. He is then given two fire extinguisher, which he prepares for quick use; he loosens the pin and raises the hose. Next, he removes the tarp and soaks the wood and onlythe wood with lighter fluid. He's extremely careful to only get the lighter fluid on the wood.
The final things to be sent down in the bucket is a lighter used for grills and campfires as well as protective gloves for Mitch. Both Bob and Tony are also standing on the roof directly above the door ready with a hose, just in case.
With shaking hands, Mitch begins lighting the wedges. He starts at the bottom, figuring the fire will rise on its own. He's correct, the fire quickly rises and almost immediately he's using the extinguisher on the now ash wedges, just in case. Once the top one is burnt enough to crack easily, Mitch sprays it with the extinguisher. He then sprays everything surrounding it down as well just in case.
Hearing applause above him, Mitch looks up to find Tony and Bob clapping.
"Not bad," Tony says.
Mitch gives a mock half bow before trying the door. It opens easily.
…
The school day is almost over. Since the whole school now knows they're locked in, fewer than normal are staring at the clock, willing the day to be over. No one has faith that Figgins will figure out a way for them to get out before the school day is over. Even the teachers seem even more unenthusiastic than usual.
Therefore, everyone is surprised when the PA system crackles on.
"Attention, this is Principal Figgins. The doors have been unlocked. Please resume your regular schedule once class is over. Thank you."
Most classrooms erupt in cheering and clapping. Everyone enjoys seeing how the prankster seems to baffle the administration, especially when that involves school being canceled. However, this prank of forcing them to stay longer hasn't been one of their favorites.
The announcement also takes all focus from the student body and most teachers don't even bother trying to continue their lessons.
…
"They figured it out quicker than usual," Santana comments to Rachel that evening over the phone. She's just finished dinner and is supposed to be studying for her history test.
"Well, they did have like six hours," Rachel replies. "And really, it's not like the locks were elaborate or complicated."
"Just the one on the front door?"
"I knew that whoever would head there first and I wanted it to be a challenge. If they'd gone to the gymnasium door, they would have just found chains and locks."
"So you're saying it's their fault for being so predictable?"
"Exactly."
"I still think you've been taking a lot of chances lately, babe," Santana says.
Rachel sighs. "Isn't that the point?"
"Technically, I guess."
"And it's been over a year," Rachel continues. "I haven't been caught yet."
"Yeah, but people are starting to figure things out."
"Artie, Tina and Mike don't count," Rachel says.
"I'll be sure to tell them that."
"That's not what I meant and you know it," Rachel replies.
It's Santana's turn to sigh. "I just worry about you, babe. Sometimes I think you don't give people enough credit."
"Because most of them haven't earned it," Rachel says. "But I appreciate the worrying."
"So you'll think about maybe slowing down a bit?"
"I promise to think about it," Rachel replies.
…
Rachel finds Artie at his locker Tuesday morning.
"Good morning, Artie."
"Hey Rachel," Artie replies. "You're in a good mood."
"Well, we're still singing our duet this afternoon, right?"
Artie nods. "I was planning on it."
"Well, then that explains why I'm in such a good mood. Right?"
Artie smirks. He has a feeling, Rachel's exuberance has more to do with the success of yesterday's prank, but that's not really something he can say out loud in the halls. "That it does."
"Good. Do you maybe want to practice one more time during lunch?" Rachel asks.
"Sounds like a plan."
"I'll meet you in the auditorium then?"
"See you then, Rach."
…
Missy's being too quiet for Wendy's liking. When her best friend doesn't spend the lunch hour chatting, Wendy knows she's scheming. And while Wendy has no idea whatshe's contemplating, she doesn't have a good feeling about it.
"I'm not participating in anything involving Rachel Berry or Mike, anymore," Wendy blurts out.
Missy blinks at her a few times, apparently having been deep in thought. "Um, all right."
"I mean, I know we initially asked Mike out as some sort of plan related to getting Rachel, but I was never comfortable with that."
Missy sighs.
"And Mike and I are having a good time together. He graduates in June, so I don't see it going anywhere serious, but it's still fun."
"You seem happy," Missy says.
"I am."
"Fine," Missy says. "I'll come up with another plan."
"I don't see why you can't just drop it."
"I don't know either," Missy replies.
"Maybe you should talk to Ms. Pillsbury about it," Wendy suggests.
Missy lets out a bark of laughter, causing Wendy to jump. "That's not something I want to talk to anyone about, much less a guidance counselor, especially her. She'd probably faint from shock and awkwardness. And then when she woke up, she'd have to report me for sexual harassment or something."
Wendy shrugs. "It was just a suggestion. I mean, you really need to let this whole thing go. Don't you think?"
Missy doesn't answer.
…
"So Artie tells me that he and Rachel have prepared a duet for us today," Mr. Schuester says once everyone's settled. "So I'll just hand the floor over to them."
Brittany raises her hand. "Why do you need to hand it to them? Are we supposed to be walking on our hands now?"
Mr. Schuester is the only one that looks at her oddly. Rachel and Artie make their way to the front of the room. Rachel grabs a chair and sits next to Artie.
Everyone's surprised when Rachel doesn't introduce the song with a small speech. Instead, she simply nods to Artie who begins playing his guitar. It's one of the few times they've seen him play an acoustic guitar and not an electric.
After a very short intro, Artie begins singing.
Well I'd like to visit the moon,
On a rocket ship high in the air.
Yes, I'd like to visit the moon,
But I don't think I'd like to live there.
He continues to play as Rachel begins singing.
Though, I'd like to look down at the earth from above,
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I might like it for one afternoon
I don't wanna live on the moon.
Rachel bows her head as Artie begins singing again.
I'd like to travel under sea,
I could meet all the fish everywhere
Yes, I'd travel under the sea,
But I don't think I'd like to live there.
Rachel begins singing as Artie begins playing more enthusiastically.
I might stay for a day there if I had my wish
But there's not much to do when your friends are all fish,
And an oyster and clam aren't real family,
So I don't wanna live in the sea.
Artie then joins Rachel as they both finish the song.
I'd like to visit the jungle, hear the lions roar,
Go back in time and meet a dinosaur,
There's so many strange places I'd like to be,
But none of them permanently.
So if I should visit the moon,
Well i'll dance on a moonbeam and then,
I will make a wish on a star and I'll wish I was home once again.
Though, I'd like to look down at the earth from above,
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I may go,
I'll be coming home soon
Cause I don't want to live on the moon
No, I don't want to live on the moon.
Once Artie finishes the last note, they each give a small half bow. Everyone begins clapping.
"That was great you guys," Mr. Schue exclaims as Artie and Rachel make their way back to their seats. "Maybe this year, an intimate duet would be a good idea. Do something a bit different."
"I think that's an excellent idea, Mr. Shue," Rachel says.
"Of course you agree with him," Mercedes snips.
Turning slightly in her seat, Rachel says, "I'm not suggesting we use the duet Artie and I just did. However, I do feel the sentiment is correct. Two people on stage, playing their own music and singing isn't the usual. I think it would be an excellent second song in our set."
Santana, sitting in the back row next to Brittany, chuckles.
"That gives me an excellent idea for an assignment," Mr. Schue interrupts. "Who here can play an instrument?" He walks to the board and turns around. He writes down, Artie, Puck, Rachel, Finn, and Quinn. "Okay, so I want everyone to pair up. Make sure one of you can play an instrument and pick out a song that works well acoustically."
"Uh, Mr. Schue?" Finn raises his hand.
"Yes Finn?"
"I'm not sure me just playing the drums is what you're looking for."
"It's not the first thing that springs to mind," Mr. Schue agrees. "But that'll be a fun challenge for you and your partner."
Finn nods looking worried.
…
"Do you think Rachel would be open to pulling a prank with me?" Artie asks Tina as he drives her home.
"I don't see why not," Tina replies. "Not too long ago, I didn't think Rachel would even do a duet with someone."
"Well, she's used to sharing the stage with other people."
"I'm sure Puck has pulled pranks with her," Tina says. "He wouldn't take no for an answer."
"That's for sure," Artie agrees.
"I bet if you went to her with an idea and it was plausible, she'd go for it," Tina tells him.
"It would definitely be better to already have an idea handy," Artie replies. "If anything, coming up with something she hadn't even considered, means she'd probably be more likely to agree."
"Exactly."
"We should come up with something together," Artie continues.
"I don't know," Tina says. "Gluing the quarters down was… interesting, but I'm not sure I'm up for the elaborateness that Rachel's pranks have become."
"But that's half the fun," Artie says.
"I guess I just wasn't meant for all that, then," Tina tells him.
Artie pulls up in front of Tina's house.
"Well, I'm going to come up with something awesome and change your mind," he says.
"Good luck with that," Tina replies climbing out of the vehicle. "Thanks for the ride."
"Can I at least bounce ideas off you later?" Artie calls after her.
"Probably," Tina says, half shrugging.
"Awesome. See you tomorrow."
Artie gives a half wave, rolls up his window and pulls out of the driveway. Driving home, he begins to brainstorm.