~YJ~
037. Broken Arrow
Rated: K+
~YJ~
The shaft of light coming from his window cut in and out, in and out, as the train passed by outside. The sound of the locomotive thundering past drowned out his breathing, heavy and labored, and his broad shoulders shook. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, his arms propped up on his knees and his head in his hands; it was calling him, beckoning silently for him to come. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't focus, couldn't think.
He knew it was wrong and weak, but he couldn't deny that he felt the urge.
Life with Oliver Queen had never been easy. Ollie was a playboy and a party boy, and he knew nothingabout taking care of a kid. Roy was practically raised on the Queen family chili, and the older archer would frequently disappear for hours, sometimes days. Roy had never minded Ollie's way of life; it suited him just fine being left to his own devices. He liked his independence; he didn't need Oliver always looking over his shoulder like Batman did with Robin. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, by himself.
He told himself he didn't need it. He told himself he could stop any time he wanted. He told himself that the drug wasn't slowly consuming him.
It was only when he was alone, lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling or sitting on the couch, that he realized how big the place seemed for one person. It was only then that he would even consider thinking that maybe he did need Oliver. The apartment didn't seem quite as empty when the man was around, nor as quiet. There was only so much time a kid could spend on his own before he got lonely. Before he felt abandoned.
He cursed the weakness he felt in himself.
He had known when he woke up that morning before patrol that he was going to shoot up. He had known that he would allow the poison to enter his veins once again. The needle sat there on the desk, glinting in the dim light. He could hear it whispering in his ear. Just one little shot. What could it hurt? You can stop at any time. You're not addicted. You don't need heroin to survive. It's just to pass the time. He heard it every day, and it was only a matter of minutes before he cracked and broke. He wouldn't be able to resist it for long; he was helpless to do otherwise.
He remembered the feeling of the drug coursing through his veins. The feeling of elation and euphoria, that nothing else mattered.
Roy tried his hardest not to think about what he had done to obtain the heroin. He had stolen the needles and he had swiped money out of Ollie's safe in order to pay for the drug. If Oliver figured out some cash was missing, he would think that Roy had taken it for the rent or groceries, or maybe to help finance his hero career. The man would never consider that maybe his ex-partner had used it to buy drugs. If he ever found out, he would be beyond furious.
He was angry and he was tired; he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and die.
He didn't want to feel. He didn't want to know. He just wanted the numbing sensation that the drug brought him. He just wanted everything to fade away into blissful nothing. He didn't want to remember how lost he felt, how the drug had defeated him. He used to be so strong, so powerful. Out of the "sidekicks," he was the oldest. Wally and Dick had looked up to him; he was their brother. What would they think if they found out? He would lose their trust and respect; they wouldn't see him as a hero anymore.
Who was he kidding? Red Arrow was a joke. Sportsmaster was right:
He was a broken arrow.
~YJ~
Sorry guys. This is going to be my last update for a while. I started the next one, but I probably won't be able to post it. School is starting soon (Monday, to be precise) and I have an essay due the first day...which I haven't started (should probably be working on that...).
Anyway, before I do anything else for the 100 themes, I have to finish my stuff for school first. This doesn't have a deadline: that does, and I've ignored it since May. Now, that's coming around to bite me in the ass.
As always, reviews, reviews, reviews! I couldn't do this without reviews. Tell me if you spot a mistake or are confused about something (I know this all makes sense in my head, but it might not be the same for you guys, and I don't want any misconceptions). Add the story to your Alerts if you haven't already.
Thanks for everything so far and I'll try to finish up the Essay From Hell as soon as possible. Wish me luck! *starts crying* ...i really don't want to do it...