Even the air is different. I stiffed and wobbled at the same time ringing the door bell, so glad to be here, but nervous and melancholic. I didn't expect to feel so out of place in my own home, the time I've stayed with Yomi has changed me. I know I am not the same person that left months ago, I just hope no one notices. I want to go back to being me.

Step, step, step, and the door opens, Kokoda looks up at me and smiles. "Mother, looks who's here!" he yells, turning towards the living room. He opens the door wide, so I enter and glimpsing up, see my mother in shock, blinking uncomfortably, and then jogging towards me. She passes Kokoda as if he doesn't even exist, and throws her arms around me. I reciprocate just the same, tightening my arms around her, the smile in my face is from ear to ear as we rock back and forth for a few seconds. Now I am at home, this is where I belong. I love this human so much!

Like always, the first thing she does is revise my face and body, making sure I am in perfect condition. Her worried eyes trace all over me, "Mother, I am fine."

"Did they…? Were where…?" but she stops both questions, noticing Kokoda is still in the room.

"I knew you would come," he outstretches his hand and we do our very own personal handshake. "My friend wanted to buy the tickets off of me, but I knew you would show up Shuichi." Up, down, around, snap fingers, and we're done.

"We've been waiting for that movie for years."

"I'm so nervous, hopefully they don't mess it up. You want to see the jacket I got you? We are going to look so cool!"

"Yes, yes," Mother interrupts. "You both can look cool all you want tomorrow but for now you must sleep." Her eyes speak a million words, tired and scared. I try my best to reassure her. Don't worry mother, I smile, everything is ok.

After a few more hugs and small talk, I head to my room for the night. She knows I am different, she always has, but it's not something I can came out and say so lightly. Hey mother, how's the weather? Also, your son is a demon well known for stealing and nationally either hated or praised in other worlds. And now I am dating a Demon King, whom I've done a great number of unmorally incorrect things for. That would be an interesting topic in thanksgiving.

I shower, change to pajamas and get under the covers. I remember Touya laying here with me not that long ago, now we're worlds apart. I wonder what he's doing right now.

They're a few low, hushed knocks on the door and then a voice, "Shuichi I'm coming in." He tip toes through the dark room, "scoot over," he gets in the bed and pushes me towards the other end. We struggle to lie comfortably, but manage. "So where were you all this time?" he whispers, if mother or father catches him in here, they'll kick him to his room. It's past ten already.

"I had some stuff I had to do," I whisper back.

"Yeah, you always have 'stuff that you have to do,'" he mimics, air quoting and laughing.

I smile, "Hush, hush… or they're going to hear you."

"Boys?" mother opens the door, and just like that we are busted, so of course we do the most common thing to do in this situation: we play possum. I hear her giggle, then close the door, leaving it a few inches ajar.

When we believe the coast is clear we speak again, and spend hours talking about movies, books, scary stories, and trying to avoid as much as I can talking about what I've been doing. He turns over and doesn't take him long to fall asleep at around three. I look down at the red rock necklace, well hidden under my shirt. I wonder if he was listening this whole time? Well if he was, he is now an expert in Shadowhunters and Death Stars. I'm pretty sure he must have tuned out after he figured all our conversation was going to be about fictional characters and fantasizing about tomorrow's movie. Maybe he stuck around thinking this was a decoy or had some sort of secret message. Nope, no Yomi, this is the truth right here. Your lover and right hand man currently spent hours fanboying over human literature.

I feel shrunk and small compared to Gandara, so out of place. I turn over and hug my pillow, I won't think about it anymore. For now, I'll sleep.

The next day is the day. We spend the morning and afternoon talking and listening to music. I clean my room a little and spend time with mother, and around five a clock we start getting ready for the seven-thirty showing. I put on a black muscle shirt, black pants, a black belt, black boots, and the black leather jacket Kokoda got me, finishing the look off with black gloves. I pick up my hair in a ponytail and in the spirit of the books, draw a few tattoos on my neck to show my complete support. Kokoda is the same, dressed in all black, and asks me to draw tattoos on him too. We head out the door a little after six, what was to come was not expected.

Standing in line, since we already had our tickets and didn't have to wait, I see them coming towards us. All of them: Kuwabara, Keiko, Yukina, and Shizuru.

"Kurama! Hey!" Kuwabara yells, attracting attention as he closes our distance. I didn't expect this. "I see you two are well in the spirit of the movie, nice look."

"You all are wearing black too," my heart beats louder seeing Yukina up close. Black fishnets with knee-high black boots, a way to short skirt, and a black tank top, with her hair up in a bun, black nail polish and a crucifix necklace. Wow, Hiei would not approve of this, but I have to admit, she looks amazing.

"I know, I know, they forced me." She blushes, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to cover her skin.

"Hey Kurama don't be checking out my girl!" We've already established with Kokoda that Kurama is my supposable nickname.

"Don't be embarrassed, you look beautiful, Yukina." I reply, ignoring Kuwabara's tantrum.

"Hi Kurama," I see Keiko's hand aiming at my shoulder and take a step back before it lands. Her eyes open, as she recoils.

I have to say something fast, "Keiko, in all black too!' I smile, hoping she will ignore I just brushed her off.

"We talked each other into it," she smiles.

"Kuwabara, I didn't know you were a fan," I direct at him.

I've been following these books for years ok… because Keiko got me into them."

"And you brought Yukina to this movie? Out of all the ones you could have chosen?" I make a confused face. Everyone but Kokoda must know what I mean, you are bringing her to a movie where demons get chased and slayed.

"She isn't like that you know, she understands-"

"I really like the books Kurama. Keiko was kind enough to read them to me."

This women never ceases to amaze me, she really is Hiei's twin in both blood and soul.

The theater opens and we are able to get in our seats. The two hour long movie wasn't a disappointment. I mean it wasn't great, but it could have been worst, it was mostly acceptable. Everyone walks out of the theater gossiping, saying what they hated and what they liked and our group is no different. We laugh out loud, joking about the flaws and excited about the good parts. About an hour later, we prepare to split ways, but to my surprise Yukina calls me over to the side. Everyone, especially Kuwabara, is surprised by her behavior.

We walk about a half a block away from everyone, and alone in the dark she lets out her fears, "It's not true right? In the end, you will all back away, right?" Her red eyes squint, and I can make out by her voice that her throat tightened.

I had almost forgotten, at least for a second, and now everything drops on me again, "They aren't backing away, and I am very sorry to say this but neither am I."

"But you are all friends."

"I'm sorry, but things change."

"Kurama, I heard you are being forced." I can't talk about this, not with this necklace on.

"It may have started like that, but that was a long time ago. Now I am in this for my own personal motives," I look away, I can't see her sadness. She is my best friend's little sister, it hurts.

"Don't let others turn you against each other. You four share a bond, and you all shouldn't allow nothing and no one to break it." She pauses for a bit, "Hiei." She looks up at the moon, "Please don't hurt him." Does she know? No, I am sure she doesn't. "I beg you."

I don't like this at all, "Yukina, I give you my word that I will do everything I can to prevent this from happening, but if he stands in our way, I am going to have to fight him."

"Since when did 'our' become you and Yomi instead of you and Hiei?" I look at her abruptly. Her tiny face shines bright with her fire-burning eyes whose fury I had never seen. She really is his sister in every aspect of the word.

We get back to the group and say our farewells, but before Kokoda and I leave, Shizuru comes to me. She is about to reach for my arm, but stops herself, which isn't at all surprising with her unique talent. "Beware of your reflection and the liquid in your life. Stop drinking that water. Take care." And she turns and leaves, catching up with everyone else as they make their way back home.

Stop drinking that water? What does that mean? Did she mean it metaphorically? We head back home with more questions than answers. What I thought would be my escape from reality with my little brother turned into a meeting of faith. And what is worst, I know Yomi heard it all.

Part 2:

It took me eight days, but I am finally here. It could have been faster if I didn't stop to eat so much or didn't opt for passing by the world's largest volcano and making my wish while throwing in my offering. This was not a good time at all to be touring around, but oh well, I am here now and that is all that matters.

I cross the border and make my way to the palace, "YOMI! I AM HERE!"

He's waiting for me at the gates, and I ram into him face first, knocking him down. "I was so lost, Yomi! It was horrible!"

"I'm sure it was," he states, sarcastically.

I lift up my head, "hey!" I pin him down with both hands, "I was traumatized for life, I had never been anywhere like the Pseudo Space."

"Another place to add to your collection, another adventure for your list."

His monotone voice is not what I was expecting after being gone for a week, "What is it with you? What's wrong?" I sit on top of him, confused but also a bit irritated.

He brushes my cheek with his fingers and sighs, "Nothing…"

"Yomi, tell me! I am not playing with you." I raise my voice.

"I can't give you that. Travels, adventures, I am here in Gandara and here's where I'll stay, this boring city."

I get up. It can't be this again, how many times do I have to explain to him that I don't care. I'll stay here, bored, if he wants me to.

"This is why it's so hard dealing with the elderly." I walk to my room. I don't have time for this, so much for my 'welcome back' celebration.

I lock myself in the room as the suns sets. He is right about it though, a part of me gets blue when I think about settling in one place for the rest of my life. No more new places, no meeting new people, that boy.

I blush. What the hell? I rub my head with both hands and head for his room. This is stupid, I am bored and I want to do something fun. Hehehe, I'll be extra quiet and sneak up on him. I'll bite him in the ribs, then tie him down and- hohoho, I'm coming to get you.

As I turn the corner to his room, as quietly as possible, I see him turning at the other end. Is he going to eat? No, that sounds like my reasonable explanation, not his. Does he have something up his sleeve? I follow him, and finally notice he is heading up there! With him! Is he back already? He takes the elevator, so I go up the stairs, tip toeing my way. I don't know why I am doing this. I've turned into a stalker.

Through the corridor I see one door ajar, the one to his room, so like the idiot I am, no matter how many warnings my brain sends out to get away, I walk towards it. I stand outside and look in through the opening of the door. He runs his hand through the bed, slowly, as if he was caressing him himself. He picks up one of the pillows and holds it to his chest and face tightly, sniffing it, rubbing his cheeks on it.

"You smell so good," he moans, and that's enough to break me. Even now, away as he is, and after everything he's done, even now he can't forget him. He's up here holding his things, imagining him. My head builds up pressure, my eye balls, my temples, everything is about to explode.

I sob. He turns his face.

No point in hiding it now. I walk in, but something is different. I've never felt anything but love for him, but right now I am just so angry. I can't take it. This is all wrong, and everything is about to go to hell.

"I am leaving after the war is over. It is the least I can do for everything you've done for me, after that I won't owe you anything, I'll be free." I take off the piercings in my face, and throw them in the bed, then the bracelets in my wrists and the rings in my fingers. "I don't want anything from you." This is going to end horribly, how I wish I could stop myself, but I can't. I hate him. "I'll sleep in the soldiers building. I've had enough of this shit!"

He comes close, "Zein, stop."

He tries reaching for me with his hands, "DON'T COME NEAR ME! Don't you dare touch me ever again! I HATE YOU!"

Stop it.

My face is red with anger, "I HATE YOU! I hate everything about you. I hate the life you brought me into. I would've rather stayed a slave."

Stop it.

"Cause even living as a slave would've been better than living with you!"

Stop.

"I would have rather been with any one of those repulsive demons that would buy me off of that salve trader, because every single one of those repulsive, disgusting demons is a lot less repulsive than you!"

"I SAID ENOUGH!" The back of his hand lands on my face, my head turns to the left. Hard. Very hard. The side of my cheek and part of my chin and mouth burn. He hit me. No, this can't be!

Everything stops. I reach my hand to cover the part in pain, and turn to him, breathing heavily, in total shock, my vision clouded with mist building in my eyes, "You hit me?" I say it as more of a question than a statement. It isn't the pain, it isn't the anger, it's the act. He actually hit me. "YOU HIT ME!"

He covers his face with both hands, and goes out of control, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… not you… Please not you…"

"I'm taking off," I walk to the door. You would think he would be in so much shame that he wouldn't be able to deny me anything, but to my most surprise he grabs me, once again with too much force.

"You can't go!" He pushes me back into the room with both arms, "You can't leave me!" I didn't see this coming, Yomi has always been my rescuer not my abuser, and right now I need to get out of here. I run for the window but he blocks my way, pushing my chest back, dropping me and pinning me to the floor. "I'm not going to let you leave me!"

"Yomi, what happened to you?" The heat the pain left behind is bright on my face, my eyes watery, "This isn't you… You're shattering me to pieces. You're ruining everything we've ever built."

"I never promised you a wonderland."

"You're falling from the pedestal I had placed you in. You're no longer the one I feel in love with. Yomi, you're scaring me."

"Stop saying that, you know you don't mean it. Right now you're mad, but everything will be fine soon."

"How can anything be fine after this? You hit me!" I still can't believe my own words.

"Well get over this like everything else."

"No Yomi, I said enough. I can't be here with you. I don't even think I love you anymore." My eyes travel his face, and this isn't him. I am very sure, he's a completely different person. The softness than only I could see, the one saved only for me, is gone.

"What did you just say?" He's heavy sitting on top of me. He grabs the back of my head and brings me to him, forcing a kiss. His breath is hot, his tongue feels slimy, it's gross. I push back, shutting my lips so he can't enter. "Never say something so stupid." He tries kissing me again, and again I turn away.

"Get off of me! Let me go!"

"What's gotten into you?!" He demands.

"What's gotten into me? What's gotten into you? I am telling you I don't want to, get off of me now!"

"As if I'll let you walk out after what you said." He bites down on my neck and I yell out in pain. My scream must have scared him because he lets me go. He grabs my shoulders and shakes me, "Don't say those things! Don't say them!" I look up in disbelief, "You love me, and you've missed me, and now I am going to make love to you, and everything is going to be fine." He pushes me back against the floor.

No way, this isn't going to happen. I am not going to let this happen to me. Memories of all those years ago come back, the way those men and women would do their every wish with me. I didn't have a say back then or a voice, I was too weak to fight, but not now. I won't let that happen to me ever again, not while I am alive. Kick, I tell myself. Twist. Turn. Punch. Scratch. Scream. And no matter what, don't stop fighting.

"No!... Stop!" I yell loud, loud enough to be heard out in the corridor. "I don't want to!" he covers my mouth with one of his hands and slams me against the floor. For a moment I stop struggling, dealing with the new dosage of pain, but quickly resume my struggle. Kick. Kick. I manage to move his hand out of the way and scream again, "Help!"

He covers my mouth again and whispers in my ear, "Would you hate me even more if I told you just how horny all of this is getting me?" I've never lived this kind of heartbreak. Now that one of his hands is busy keeping me quiet, I have both of my hands to fight. I hit as hard as I can, but he is to strong. "Stop fighting back, I don't want to beat that pretty face of yours."

"Yomi, stop! Please, I beg you."

"Just give in. I want to make love to you, I've missed you." The serenity in his voice is what inspires the most fear. He is completely normal, as if this is just another day, as if everything is ok.

He unbuckles my belt and unbuttons my pants, "Stop!"

"Quiet! Shut up!"

He lowers my zipper and pulls my pants down to my thighs. "No! Don't touch me!" He grabs me in his hand and beings his motions. How can something that once made me the happiest feel so wrong now? I go mad. I scream on top of my lungs! I don't care who hears, I don't care if he hurts me more, I don't care what happens, but someone has to hear me. I scream as loud as I can, screams of agony.

"Shut up!" He holds my mouth again, but I don't stop. I kick and push, banging the floor with my feet. Someone has to hear me, but will anyone come to my help?

The door opens, and I look up. My soul overflows with emotions as I see Youda standing before us. I thank the gods for their blessing.

"Close the door," Yomi commands, in the same tranquil voice, his hand tight against my mouth, his whole body on top of me.

Youda looks at me, tears in my eyes, red in my face. "I will my lord, as soon as Black comes with me." Hope is here. For a moment I thought he would turn and leave, but he's here. He's going to help me. He speaks to me now, "Come child. We have to go."

Yomi actually gets off of me, and I somehow maneuver my way up. It's until I notice I'm struggling one hundred times more to pick up my pants that I see my whole body is shaking. They're up, now the button, the button! Get it through the hole, I miss. Get it thought the hole, I miss again. The zipper is a bit easier, just grab and pull. Forget the belt, I have to get out of here now! Stop shaking, it's embarrassing. This whole thing is so wrong!

"Come child," Youda hurries me.

I take step after step to the door, fearing Yomi will yank me back at any moment. I make it to Youda and go out the door, he follows after me closing the door behind us. We walk down the hall, and for a moment I feel it's over, until I hear the door open and a few steps. He's coming after us.

"Give him back to me." I tremble again, stay away, please don't come near me. "I need him."

"I know my Lord, but for now it's best if he goes with me. When you are feeling better he will come back to you."

"Youda, don't make me kill you."

Youda sighs, and answers with no fear in his voice, "I've served you because I believe in you my lord, and I know right now I am doing what is best for you. If I die helping you, I have nothing to regret. Strike me down if you must, but I won't let you do something I know you'll hate yourself later for. You already hate yourself enough for absurd reasons. My loyalty lies with you, my great lord." Youda bows, and turns back down the hall, I follow. Right now I am his shadow, wherever he goes I'll follow.

We walk, Yomi stands unmoved but I don't feel any safer. He'll kill us both, I know he's capable. I'm nervous and scared as Youda pushes the button and the elevator opens, I turn to him one last time before stepping in. He standing there, paying attention to our every move.

"Don't leave the palace," is his last warning, and the elevator door closes, and there is finally some distance between us.

Youda walks me to my room, and for the first time I lock the door. Now I understand the feeling of needing that small barrier, as insignificant as it may be. I fall to the floor and cover my mouth with my hands, I don't want him to hear my sounds. I finally stop the tough act I had to keep walking down the hallway as if nothing was wrong, and let all the tears, sobs, and gasps flow.

"You're fine, right? Please tell me he didn't hurt you."

"I'm ok, don't worry. Youda…" I hug him with so much love, "thank you for saving me."

"What happened boy, I've never seen-"

"I told him I didn't love him anymore."

He gasps, I swallow sand, "Black… why would you say that? That isn't something to be said unless… did you mean it?"

"Youda, what am I supposed to feel? Look at everything he's done to me. He comes to me only when he's hurt, in four hundred years he never made me his partner, Kurama gets here and they are together by noon! What the fuck?! How is this supposed to be ok? I am sick of it, and now this, he hit me Youda! He slapped me in the face."

"Oh no!"

"It hurt me in the soul, it broke my heart! He broke the respect and admiration I had for him. How am I supposed to love someone that hit me and tried to-" I can't finish the sentence. Would you hate me even more if I told you just how horny all of this is getting me? The memory of his voice disgusts me.

How is anything ever supposed to be ok again? Why did I even come back? I should have stayed wherever Shuichi had sent me.

"He isn't like this, you know it. Kurama's return has changed him."

Kurama. Kurama. It's always Kurama, he's turned him dark. They should just cuddle in their own sadism and leave me out of it. I don't want to see them again.