A Beacon of Hope

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N:

Chapter 37 (The Broken Family)

He crossed his arms and sat on the guardrail. "Anyway, while you were sleeping in this morning, I got news from Jax. I had him look up information on Jesse's family. He has a mother, but she's living up in New York now."

Trina felt her heart sink for a moment. If Jesse went to New York, it would be for his benefit, but she'd be down a friend. She didn't want him to continue his involvement in the gang life, not after hearing what happened with Clint and her mother.

"What's her name?"

"Linda. Linda Andrews, she has a second husband from what I understand." Clint unfolded his arms and walked towards the motorcycle. "Once we get back to LA, I'm not going to be around for a while." Her heart stopped and her eyebrows rose.

"What? Why!"

"I have unfinished work to do." Her eyebrows moved inwards and she walked towards him. She knew he might also be afraid that it wasn't safe, but that didn't mean he had to stay away. He made eye contact with her and took a deep breath. "I won't stay away long. There are certain trails I have to certain people I have to deal with-and I'm going to be personally driving Jesse should he choose to go to New York."

"Oh. Why?"

"Because the fool got himself in the middle of all his father's supporters and Seth's." Clint climbed onto the bike and Trina followed. A great deal of concern ran over her. A tear fought out from her eyelid and she quickly swept it away.

"Nice to know she's up in New York, but I wonder if Jesse would want to go. I heard General Vance moved up there."

Trina put on her helmet and hurried to connect the straps. "Oh yeah, that's another thing." Clint kicked on the motor and looked over his shoulders. "I imagine Jesse would be drawn there a little easier as well."

"Why?"

"Sasha is still alive." Her eyes widened and her body jolted back as Clint started the motorcycle up. She reached around him, grabbing his shirt in her hands and screaming out her surprise.

"How can that be! I saw her, we saw her, dead!" Trina leaned as Clint turned the bike in towards the lane. Her heart raced up into her throat and she began to tear up remembering the vivid scene of Sasha's body.

There were two gunshot wounds in her stomach, blood was everywhere. Neither Jesse or Trina checked the pulse, sure, and it looked like she stopped breathing.

"Okay, three things. One, the paramedics and police arriving on the scene, I paid off." Trina moved her hand up to her helmet and shook her head, frowning at the realization. "Second of all, I don't take orders from a fucking amateur gangbanger making threats against my family, and last of all I have been leading a gang for twenty years or so. I know how to make someone look like they're dead."

"Well I don't know how you would have pulled it off. I dropped her off and Jesse was with her the whole time."

Clint looked over his shoulder with a smirk and nodded briskly. "Except for the one moment during the previews that Sasha had to go to the restroom. Why do you think I haven't been arrested yet? Her father and I met, discussed what was going on, and when she came out of the theatre we pulled her to the side. Gave her a vest with a couple bags of blood donated from my people. The General taught her how to look dead, but because of risk we had to keep it out of the general eye so Ralph would believe she was dead."

"So all this time…Jesse thought she was-"

"He's known for about a month or two that she was alive and living in upstate New York with her father." Trina's jaw dropped and her muscles tensed. She wasn't angry that Jesse hadn't coughed up that information, especially with the understanding that it had been for Sasha's own protection. If Ralph knew the girl was still alive, there was much at risk besides just Sasha. Trina and Tori would have been in danger too.

"You've obviously talked to him."

"Sasha's dad was the one that talked to him and let him know first. I only talked to him after that big argument you and I had-which, by the way, I am sorry about what I said to you."

She smiled and quickly shook her head, thankful the helmet was on to conceal the smile. "It's okay. It's kind of nice knowing that I got a chance to argue with my father about people I was spending time with, like most kids…even though I didn't know you were-you know."

"Right."

"So you went back to talk to Jesse after that?"

"I had to know that he wasn't going to try and involve you in that life. He told me he'd already discovered certain facts about me, about his father, and I told him exactly what Ralph was going on about."

"So then, the look you two exchanged back there at the mansion? Just before you pulled me onto the bike and had your people shoot Ralph…"

"Yeah, he was to push you out of the way so that I could get you away from there without risk of you getting hit."

She stared blankly ahead and mumbled under her breath about the complexities of gang members. "Thank god I want to go into law enforcement." Clint laughed.

"That's just as complicated. At least it's a little safer than a life in a gang."

"Uh huh." She bowed her head and furrowed her brow. It sucked that he was still going to be away for a while, but she understood what he had to do. Not only did he have to transport Jesse safely to New York, should the man agree to go, but he would have to make sure that all Ralph's people were no longer a threat to anybody. "You know how better off Tori and I would be, mostly Tori, if you or mom would just be here? I mean, I can't believe I'm including you in that, but…"

"As long as your mother doesn't want me around, I will respect that."

"I know. It's just…It isn't fair. It's all Gemma's fault! Why are you afraid of that woman?"

"I'm not afraid of her, I am more concerned with what she would and very well could do to any one of you three. If you don't think she could find you, you're mistaken."

"It's been almost twenty years…"

"And we basically just revealed that at least I have already contacted you." She felt her blood run cold and choked on the icy feeling of fear gripping her throat. Typically she wasn't afraid of anything, but just imagining the worst was something she didn't want to do. "I think eventually your mother will become more secure, but if I know that woman, she will not let you and Tori be separated or homeless for long. Neither will I."

Trina tucked her lip beneath her teeth and looked out at the passing homes. They were familiar to her, but while they were a pleasant sight, they filled her with a great deal of sadness too. Whether or not she wanted to admit it, she did enjoy spending some time with her father.

Growing up, Tori had been the one that needed their mother the most and Trina had always been the one that wanted to have a father she could connect to. Perhaps that was why Tori had let out her emotions when she spoke with Alexis for the first time months ago, and Clint was the one that Trina exploded to.

To hear him say that he nor Alexis would leave the girls alone for long was something that filled her heart with a great sense of hope and admiration. At the same time, she wanted to tell him how great the school had been in keeping the girls together.

"If it hadn't been for Hollywood Arts, Tori and I would be separated right now. She'd be lost."

"I know. That is a great school."

"It's funny, I would never have heard about it if David and Holly hadn't come across a flyer." She looked over his shoulder and into the rearview mirror in time to see a smirk growing on his face. Her eyebrows shot up and her lips separated. "Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not."

She rolled her eyes and set her head on his back while looking out at the houses. They were at a stop sign now, just a block away from her home. She knew the minute they reached home, he'd be gone, and she didn't know how long.

Even though it was for their own good, Trina couldn't stand the thought that she'd just been getting to know him. "You'll come back, right?"

"I'll do my best. Keep looking after your sister, okay?"

"I will." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as the motorcycle turned the corner. "Is mom even aware of Gemma? Like what's her threat to her?"

"As far as I know, your mother doesn't know what Gemma has said. She knows the woman is where I got my drug addiction back then. She knows Gemma was a threat, and she is aware of some of the crap she's done, but she's not aware that what I told her wasn't entirely as threatening as it sounded."

"I think a part of me wishes that we could have been a family." She rolled her head up, setting her chin on his shoulder. "No, not a part of me. All of me. I just wish that we could have had a chance. I wish Gemma never messed with you and never scared mom into giving us up. Don't tell me that's what happens as a result of being in a gang, you've said it enough, but...I wish there could have been a chance."

"I know." He parked next to the house and Trina looked up at it with somber eyes. She removed her helmet and smiled at the sound of music drifting from the open window. It was the song Demons by Imagine Dragons. As much as she didn't care for it, it held a significant impact for her in this moment.

She turned her eyes to Clint and looked into his brown eyes with a heaviness in her heart. "What do I even tell Tori? What do I tell mom when I get her letter and write back?"

Clint chuckled softly and hung his elbow over the handlebar while Trina slowly stood from the bike. "You know, I said you look most like your mother, you even have her personality, but that stubbornness and the pride that you have? You take that from me." Her cheeks reddened and she bowed her head, quickly clearing her throat.

"Thinking back to that argument again?"

"Yeah, in all honesty I always wanted to disapprove of one of my kids' friends." He flashed a playful smirk and she rolled her eyes. She smiled back at him and crossed her arms. "Like I said before, keep taking care of your sister. She needs you more than anyone. I'm proud of you, though I am sorry that you had to take the role of the parent most of your life…Parents always tell their children not to grow up too quickly, to live their lives and have a good time while also being responsible. I know you've had to grow up fast, and I know you've taken a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. Don't forget to take some time to relax, and things will be fine."

"I guess I'm just tired of being in this same old situation. Tori wants to go back to Sherwood, you know? I wanted to also, but I'm going to have to go to some community college that's got a partnership with HA. But…I'm at the point where I'm thinking I probably should just be a police officer and bring in some income to take care of Tori-not even bother with college."

Clint frowned and slowly shook his head. "No. You should go to college, both of you girls should. If Tori wants to go back into Sherwood, she should."

"Holly has no money."

"I see."

"I'm also not asking mom for money, and I won't ask you for money either. Even if you offer it, I won't."

He snapped his fingers and laughed, causing her expression to twist into confusion. "That's the stubborn pride. I hate asking for help too, but I will tell you that there comes a time when it's necessary."

"I've just been doing everything myself for so long that I want to be the one to provide." Even though she would love to have that weight off her shoulders and spend the last few years of her teenage life just having fun and being a teenager, she couldn't bring herself to do it. "Then I guess if I get my stubbornness from you, you're not going to leave it alone are you?"

"Don't count on it." He smirked and motioned to the house. "Go on. You've got work to do right?" She told him about Trixie, and how she needed to get her back with her sister.

"Yeah, I do. I guess I'll see you around. Maybe. Just stay away from that Gemma woman. I'll figure out what to tell Tori."

"Okay." She took a deep breath and gave him a quick hug. Trina then took a step back as he started up the motorcycle. "See you around."

"Yeah." The heaviness returned to her heart as she watched him drive off. Her eyes turned down to the helmet on the ground. Did he realize he left it behind? She carefully picked it up and cradled it in her right arm, looking down at the dents with a weak chuckle. Tears ran along her cheeks and her heartbeat rose. "Come on Trina, you're tougher than this."

She took a deep breath, listening as the motorcycle engine faded away in the distance. Still the vibrations were felt running down her spine. Everything she ever thought about her family, she now questioned. It wasn't fair, the life they had been forced to live.

What if things had been different? Who would she have become, and what kind of life would she and her sister have? The one thing she did learn from all this, that maybe she would have learned had she grown up with a full family, was that gangs were indeed something to stay away from. Especially since the life followed no matter where you went.

It was useless to fantasize about what might have been, and maybe it was better this way. She learned a lot in the life she lived, and some things she truly wouldn't trade, while other memories she'd gladly give up.

So a couple of different topics approached this chapter from the beginning to end, tell me how you're feeling about everything.